k a r r i s

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Eventually I went back to school. Almost two weeks of moping about the house, watching endless episodes of Modern Family on Netflix, and eating all the organic ice cream in the house had to come to an unfortunate end. I was surprised that my mother even let me stay home for such a long time, but I guessed keeping me home meant she had a closer eye on me. It was until I started smelling like old oatmeal did she eventually step in.

"Do you want me to come pick you up or do you want to catch a ride with Berkley?" Mom asked as she stalled her car in front of the school.

"I'll go home with Berkley," I sighed, grabbing my beanie off of my lap and thrusting it upon my head. I readjusted my glasses and picked up my messenger bag off of the floor of the passenger seat.

"Try to have a good day at school okay. You usually enjoy learning," mom noted, attempting to sway my emotions into one of content.

"Yea," I dismissed her haphazardly, opening the door and greeting the sun with no welcome, "bye."

Stepping out of the car, I slammed the door shut and walked towards the main steps of campus. The first bell had already rang so keeping my line of vision low in attempt to eschew any eye contact wasn't needed. However, coming to class late meant that everyone was going to be staring at me the moment I step into the room.

Maybe I could just skip first period and wait to blend into the slew of students walking into second period?

That seemed like a very tempting idea and decided to relish in it. So that's exactly what I did. I sauntered through the empty halls, slipping passed the main offices and avoiding the corridor where my Physics class was. I headed towards the library, hoping to find salvation on the second floor where no one goes. As I made my way over to the library, did I stumble upon a scene I wasn't supposed to witness.

"...defended you! But this whole fucking time! God damn Tegan!" Ashton snatched his beanie off of his head and hurled it onto the ground in elite frustration.

"I promise, it was just a one time thing! And he kissed me!" Tegan whimpered, and although she was kind of a witch, I still felt bad for her.

"I fucking chose you!" Ashton slammed his hand against the locker, a clamorous shrill echoing the halls.

I should've just turned the other way. I should've just ran away and minded my own business but it was like something naughty I couldn't take my eyes off of. Seeing Ashton and Tegan fight in the middle of the hallway almost made me happy, as sickening as it was.

Ashton always seemed perfect-- like nothing could ever go wrong with him. He was the captain of the hockey team, he was popular, he had a hot girlfriend and everyone seemed to worship the dirty ground he walked on. But seeing him screaming his brains out over something he had no control over, made me smile.

But that's when I got into trouble.

It was obvious that Ashton and Tegan were going to notice me standing in the center of the corridor. It also didn't help that I got a text message and the volume was on loud. Their screaming came to a sudden halt in the moment my presence became known, and their attention quickly snapped over to me.

"What the fuck are you smiling at?" Ashton sneered angrily, shooting me the most disgusted, annoyed expression in all of mankind.

"I-I-uh-er-um..." I stammered. I clearly had no words to say.

"Mind your own damn business, nerd!" Ashton bellowed, rolling his eyes with a scoff.

"I'm s-sorry," I cowered in my skin, dropping my chin to my chest in pathetic defeat. I slowly turned on my heel, walking away from the hot mess that is Ashton and Tegan.

As the couple continued to fight, I continued my endeavors towards the library where I could hide and ebb my rapidly beating heart. I made it to the library, using one of the doors at the back to avoid any of the librarians. I went up the carpeted stairs to the second floor, skipping steps to make my trip faster. Like predicted, the second floor of the library was empty. Only shelves upon shelves of books and cushioned chairs adorned the vicinity.

I decided to plop myself on one of the soft couches near the window at the back where I wouldn't be bothered. I sank into the seat, opening up my bag and pulling out my Literature textbook and notes, hoping that immersing myself in schoolwork would calm me down. And it did. For about five minutes until I was interrupted by a strong draught of cologne.

"Are you fucking serious?"

I looked up from the textbook to find a begrudging scowl painted upon the face of a very heated Ashton hovering over me. His brown curls were hidden beneath a grey beanie and his incredibly large biceps were protruding through his black band shirt. How is it possible for someone who came from Satin's butt hole to be that beautiful-- it goes against every scientific theory I've ever learned.

"Ashton," I breathed, my eyes growing wider with each passing second. I sat up straighter, my actions causing my neatly organized notes to scatter across the floor.

"What are you doing here?" Ashton asked, each word slipping through his teeth with great annoyance.

"Studying," I answered, gesturing for the textbook on my lap.

"No shit," Ashton groaned, "I'm talking about you, sitting in my spot."

I was taken aback by his words. No, strike that. Not taken aback. I was completely and utterly disgusted by Ashton's behavior. Even though he was intimidating and made me want to urinate my pants every time he scowled at me, there was no way I was going to keep letting him get under my skin. Ashton controlled my actions without even trying and I was sick of being a prisoner to it.

"If it's not obvious to you Ashton, this is the library. It's public and open to all the students on campus. This is not your home and this couch does not belong to you. I'm tired of all your bull crap and I'm tired of you always getting your way. I'm having a terrible week so far, and I'm still upset. So if you don't mind, Captain, I'd like to get some studying done since I've missed so much school-- I'm sure you know why," I finished with a satisfied huff, a snarky grin, and be honest, I was proud of myself.

My sudden inflation of confidence seemed to shut the hockey captain up, as he had no interest in interrupting my words. I then bent over, proceeding to collect my notes that still littered the floor. In my peripheral vision, I caught glimpse of Ashton's lean, skinny-jean clad legs. He continued to stand there, probably contemplating whether or not to kick my notes... or my head. But as I tapped the pages of notes against the carpeted ground, did Ashton do something I did not expect at all.

Help me.

Ashton dropped to his knees, and gathered the sprinkled pieces of paper in his large hands. His unexpected movements prompted me to slow down my own, as my jaw dropped in utter amazement. I gazed at the boy before me, whose concentration  was laden in my notes.

"Take a photo Karebear, I know I'm hot," Ashton pipped up, neither annoyance or anger in his tone. Instead, it was laced with a playfulness that I never knew existed in the hockey captain.

"Ugh, whatever," I rolled my eyes, though he wasn't wrong. Ashton was very much hot. "And please don't call me Karebear. You're not allowed to."

"I thought that was like, your universal nickname," Ashton commented, tapping the stack of notes in his hands against the floor.

"No, it's not," I told him curtly, "Karebear is a nickname reserved for only two special people: my best friend Berkley, and my brother."

"I'm sorry," Ashton surprisingly apologized, and I could see a pang of guilt on his face in mentioning my brother. "But you're still annoying."

I rolled my eyes again, not at all surprised by Ashton's whiplash of emotion. I knew the trajectory of his kindness would slow down prematurely because let's face it, the boy was still a jerk.

"So you really are a nerd, huh?" Ashton mentioned, glancing down at my nicely highlighted notes before passing them over to me.

"I take my studies seriously, yes," I took the notes from Ashton's hand and placed them on top of the stack. "I want to have a bright future and an education will take me there."

"That's about the nerdiest thing you've said," Ashton chuckled, standing up from the floor and plopping down on the couch next to me.

I eyed him, uncomfortable with the close proximity of our bodies. I expected him to walk away, to leave me alone, but I guessed that wasn't going to happen. There was still about 40 minutes left of first period, and I assumed those 40 minutes were going to be spent with Ashton.

"Don't you have time for a life?" Ashton continued, opening up his own backpack and pulling out an Algebra textbook. "You must have some science geek friends to hang out with."

"I did once," I shrugged, delving back into my Literature text. "But I switched schools and I only have Berkley now. I did have some other friends, but you changed all that for me."

"You're never going to let me forget that, are you?" Ashton smirked, his eyes trailing the pages of the math problems on his lap.

"Ashton, you humiliated me. Turned the hockey team against me, and you're supposed to expect me to forget that?!" I shrieked, which wasn't the best decision, as my loud mouth could've kicked us out of the library. "I don't really have much, do I?"

"And I won't either, at the rate we're going," Ashton grumbled under his breath, though I could coherently hear his words clearly.

I knew exactly what he meant. He was talking about the hockey team and their failing attempt to be ten-year championship winners. Willowridge had lost games one and two, and in the freighting rate they were going, the hockey team wouldn't even make it to play-offs. I didn't really have anything to say to Ashton at that point, but apparently he still had so much piled on his plate that words just spewed out.

"I hate to admit this Karris, and don't let it get to your head," Ashton began, finally lifting his eyes off of his text to look at me, "but you're lucky you've got brains. Hockey is the only thing I've got. Without it, I don't have much of a future except for working at a Sports Authority or serving ungrateful customers at KFC."

"You're Captain though," I reminded him with a shrug, as if he didn't already know this fact. "You've got the power to change the outcome. You say hockey is the only thing you've got, then don't lose it. You have every member on the team wrapped around your finger so work them harder than ever to win. You've got another home game in two weeks against Brampcrest. That's two weeks to change the game."

My words came out so seamlessly, as if they could easily translate into action and all of Ashton's problems would be solved. But it wasn't that simple. Ashton was a great captain because he had the power, the leadership, and the command. But he lacked something that my brother had as a captain: heart.

Ashton and I didn't speak the rest of our time in the library. We each just submerged ourselves into schoolwork until the bell had rung-- well, I fell into my studies while Ashton played on his phone with the math text sitting uselessly on his lap. When it was time for second period, Ashton stood up without a single word uttered and walked away. That was typical Ashton. We had a civilized conversation for once, but there was no way in hell that would've lasted.

Standing up, I stuffed my book and my notes back into my bag before moseying my way out of the library. I descended the stairs with a skip in my step, trying to prepare myself for the long day that awaited. I guessed in my attempt to calm my anxiety down of what may come during this school day, I wasn't doing much paying attention to my surroundings-- including the untied shoelace that adorned my tattered Converse.

I shrieked as my body pummeled towards the ground. I closed my eyes, waiting for the pain to strike my body in the moment it slams against the ground, however that sting never came. I opened one eye first, then the other, only to meet a blurry figure standing before me. And whomever this figure was, held me with a strong grip.

"God damn Karris," that voice sounded familiar-- way too familiar. Everything from the annoyed inflection, to the Australian accent had my heart suddenly beating at rapid speed.

My body was suddenly transported from the arms of my unexpected savior, to the steps of the stairs. The moment my bum hit the step, did I begin to search for my glasses.

"They're right here," a sigh came, and then a moment after, my glasses were placed onto my face. The blurry images before me morphed into clear ones, and hovering above me was none other than Ashton.

"Thanks," I smiled.

"Yea, yea," Ashton brushed it off like it wasn't a big deal. He dropped down to one of his knees and I watched as he grabbed my ankle towards him.

"What are you--" my words were quickly cut off in the moment I realized what Ashton was doing: tying my shoe.

After looping the laces together in a sweet bow he stood up and shook his head in disapproval. Ashton turned away and took a few steps forward, leaving me sat on the stairs in awe struck. But before completely being out of earshot, he turned his head over his shoulder and stated one last thing that almost gave me another heart problem.

"You can come back on the team... if you want,"

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