k a r r i s

✖

Everything was supposed to be back to normal. Everything was suppose to slip back into the timeline; the continuum of my senior year. But after spending a week in the hospital, taking medication every day and having an IV drip attached to my arm 24/7, my mom was putting my life on lockdown. I had to be monitored; supervised over every aspect of my life. I had to say goodbye to Hot Cheetos, give a farewell to sitting around and watching television, and even give a see ya to any extra curricular activities that could mess up my heart rate. And that was the worst part-- saying au revoir to my coaching apprenticeship position.

"Are you going to give me the cold shoulder for the rest of your life?" Mom clearly couldn't understand why I was so upset with her. I was a good kid, obedient for the majority of my life, but this was taking it too far and I refused to oblige to her lunacy.

"You're being unfair," I muttered, crossing my arms in a huff. I stared out the passenger side window as my mom drove me to school. Despite my attempts to catch a ride with Berkley, my mom quickly thwarted said plans because she was nervous that my best friend's driving would scare my heart back into the emergency room.

"I'm only trying to protect you Karris," she argued. "I've already lost one child and I refuse to let that happen again. Watching you being wheeled out of the CVS after having a heart attack was one of the most terrifying moments of my life besides getting that knock on the door from the sheriff informing me that my son has been murdered. So punish me all you want for trying to be a good mom, because whether you like it or not Karris, I will keep you alive for as long as I can."

The car was stalled, parked behind a silver Honda in front of the school. I kept my head down to my lap, not daring to look at my mom, but in my peripheral vision I could see the anguish in her eyes.

"Bye," I grumbled, barely audible beneath the layers of rummaging as I gathered my textbooks and messenger bag off of the floor. I pushed open the door and hastily skipped out of the car, hanging my bag off of my shoulder. With a lip bite to keep from completely breaking down, I stomped through the courtyard of campus towards the front entrance.

"Karebear?!" Berkley grabbed ahold of my arm. She stood before me, dipping her head to take a look at my face to which I was trying to hide. "Hey you okay?"

"No not really," I shook my head, quickly wiping away the solitary tear that dribbled down my cheek. "I'm off hockey team."

"Wait what?" Berkley breathed, "did Coach Benson talk to you?"

I licked my lip, feeling my nose flare out slightly and I knew more tears were aching to plummet. Crying was the bane of my existence; it always made me feel like a little girl. A pathetic one who had no backbone and was the weakest link to life.

"My mom spoke to Coach; told him all about my heart condition and for my best interest it would be better that I was off the team," I whimpered, my voice cracking in between words and my glasses beginning to fog.

"Aw, sweetie," Berkley pulled me into a tight hug, rubbing my back in comfort. "Come on," she pulled away from the hug, grabbing my hand, "lets go inside."

As Berkley pulled me through the crowd of students, I noticed the mass of my peers point and stare at me. There was no subtly about it, but I guessed I preferred people talking about me to my face rather than behind my back. Because then I didn't have to feel so paranoid about whether or not the whispers were about me.

I also had an inkling that this would happen the moment I returned to school. Berkley had already hinted that rumors were rapidly flying through the school the morning after I was rushed to the emergency room. The thing about Berkley, was that she was far more stronger than I ever was. She had a backbone made of titanium and could take any crap said about her no problem. I wished I were like that too because then she wouldn't have to sugarcoat things for me. Berkley told me about rumors, but she failed to mention that they were laced with so much animosity and so much disgust.

"Oh my gosh!" I shrieked, cowering into Berkley's back. She instantly turned over her shoulder, stopping mid-trek to glance at me.

"What's wrong?" She asked, concern dripping from her brown eyes.

"Someone threw something at me," I muttered. She seemed to be taken aback by my words yet she had composure to her-- like she expected it to happen.

"Are you hurt?"

"No, I'm fine,"

"What was it?" Berkley asked, and I shrugged. Her eyes darted the area for the item that had been pelted at my head. "Right there," she bent down, picking it up to observe the object.

"A diaper?" I uttered, completely puzzled. "That's weird."

"No, it's not. It's pathetic," Berkley sneered. With the diaper still in her hand she took a step forward, the hallway of people now staring straight at the Mexican firecracker.

I hugged myself, trying to hide in the shadows of my best friend. I fully was aware of what was to come because when it came to defending me, Berkley could conduct an entire platoon.

"Which one of you dingbats threw this?!" Berkley's voice bellowed down the halls, to which everyone responded with shrugging shoulders. "There's about fifty fucking people in this hall and no one saw who threw this?"

Again, only perpetual shrugging ensued which made my very riled up best friend cackle with no amusement. She was tired of their fuckery, I could tell. Phones were pointed in our direction and while Berkley never minded the spotlight (she was a star dancer so it came naturally), I on the other hand didn't like the attention on me.

"Berkley, stop, it's okay," I tugged on her arm, attempting to cease the rampage burning within her. "Let's just go to my locker."

"Are you sure? Cause I don't mind opening a can of whoop ass right now," Berkley threatened and I could see the seriousness in her eyes. Having her as a best friend was a blessing but sometimes a curse, as I knew that her petite frame could really pack a punch-- literally.

"It's okay," I assured her, "besides, I'm not injured."

Berkley nodded, obliging to my request, "let's go."

Together the two of us continued down the halls and thankfully nothing was hurled at my head-- that I could see, anyway. My chin was to my chest and I kept my eyes to the floor. Once at my locker, things calmed down. That area of the school wasn't so full. There were less students in Block-B which relieved me to no end.

I dropped down to my knees, and began to twist the dial of the combination lock. Once all three numbers were activated, I pulled the latch of the locker, opening the door wide open. However, chagrin continued to plague my morning as several diapers popped out of my locker.

"What the heck?" I whispered to myself, as my eyes trailed the white, baby piss-nets.

"Berkley," I started, craning my neck to look up at my best friend who was leaning her shoulder against the lockers, "exactly what kind of rumors having been going around?"

"Stupid ones," Berkley grumbled. "Like you having a heart attack because CVS ran out of your favorite candy bar or that your organs don't function well."

"My organs don't function?" I repeated, suspicion in my tone. "I know I'm a little sensitive but I'm not a porcelain doll. Don't sugarcoat this for me. I've been in the press all summer Berkley and I think I can handle a few outrageous headlines. Why are diapers so significant?"

Berkley sighed, pursing her lips in contemplation before she succumbed to my request, "sorry Karris, I won't sugarcoat. Basically the rumors say that you can't control your bladder and that you wet your pants. That's why a diaper was thrown at your head."

"But that wasn't my fault. I lost all control of my body that night. My bladder went into shock, and then bam heart attack," I explained, feeling really hurt about the situation. Someone gets rushed to the ER and has to spend an entire week in the hospital and instead of get well cards, I get bullied about it.

"I know Karris and I'm pretty sure the majority of the school knows that, but the rumors weren't started by just any random loser," Berkley informed. She fell to her knees to sit next to me, gathering up the diapers and tossing them into a plastic trash bin nearby.

"Who started them?" I asked, but before Berkley could get a word out, my question was answered by none other than King Douchebag.

"Ah, I see you got my present,"

I shifted my attention from Berkley to the pathetic soul who looked down at me with a devilish, dimpled smirk plastered on his stupid face. He sent me a wink before proceeding to open up his locker above mine.

"Ashton you're an asshole!" Berkley yelled, standing up to meet Ashton eye to eye.

"Tell me something I don't know," he scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I suddenly asked, shutting my locker and standing to my feet. He was a whole foot taller than I and my eyes peered above the rims of my glasses to get a blurry look at the hockey captain. "I know it was you who called for emergency. Why'd you help me? If you hate me so much why not just let me die in the CVS?"

I don't know where the heck all my courage came from because back-talking thee Ashton Irwin wasn't exactly the most smartest thing to do. Normally I'd just close my locker and run to class, but this time there was a spark in me that decided to question number 15's motives.

"Why would I let you die in the candy aisle Karris? That's no fun. Can I at least play around with you first?" Ashton was the epitome of intimidation.

"I'm not a toy Ashton," I retorted, my voice soft-spoken suddenly. My new found confidence was short lived because Ashton's presence was spine-tingling.

"I heard you're not coaching anymore," he grinned, changing the subject and I frowned. "Oh, don't look so heartbroken about it. Trust me, this is what's best for everyone. You don't have to worry about another heart attack or having any bladder problems and I get to be captain of a team without your unwanted help. It's a win-win situation."

"Actually, you've been misinformed," I declared.

"Have I?" Ashton raised a brow, smirking at me.

"I'm not done coaching," the words came out of my mouth faster than I could think them and when I glanced back at Berkley, her eyes were remarkably wide. Even she was speechless.

"Is that so," Ashton quipped, crossing his arms above his chest. I took a quick peek at his arm muscles which were bulging out of the band t-shirt he was wearing. If he weren't so mean I'd actually admit he was good looking.

"Yup. My mom freaked out for a good minute but after speaking to her about the matter she realized that coaching was important to me," I lied. When I got good at lying was beyond me, but I think I really honed my skills when I was in court testifying for my brother's murder-- when I didn't tell the judge and the jury of 12 that Sebastian Grey was a cold-hearted murderer.

"Well then, I guess I will see you at practice," Ashton threw me an icy glare before pushing past both Berkley and I. However, before he was completely out of earshot, he turned over his shoulder to add, "later Coach."

Ashton sauntered away, meeting Tegan at the end of the hall. He draped his muscular arm around her shoulder and the Willowridge power couple walked away together, as it should be. Berkley turned back around to face me after shooting the duo glares made of daggers.

"Ugh, Irwin is a bitch. I'm really sorry about it," she rested a hand on my shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "And speaking of Irwin, why the hell did you tell him you were still coaching?"

"I don't know Berkley. It slipped out. I was just so angry at Ashton and I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of having me off the team," I expressed, letting out an exasperated sigh as I plopped against the cool metal lockers.

"So what are you going to do about it? Are you going to talk to your mom about coaching again?"

"I can't. My mom monitors everything I do; even checks to see how light my urine is,"

"Then what? Tell Ashton you were lying?"

"I really do love coaching and I don't want to give it up. Ashton is a pain but I really like the rest of the team," I hugged my physics textbook, resting a chin on it as I thought about my next move. And then like a wrecking ball to my gut, it hit me.

"I know that look," Berkley observed, eyebrows narrowed as she gazed at me. "It's the same crazy look you get when you've figured out a really hard math problem, or solved a three-season mystery before the show goes off air. What are you thinking?"

"I've joined the science club," I declared with a tight-lipped smile.

"You know our science club is no where as advanced as the one at Brampcrest, right? You're going to be bored," Berkley predicted. "Pretty sure our science club is still building robots with legos."

"No I won't be bored, because I really won't be in the science club," I professed, slowly revealing my mastermind plans to her.

"Okay, I'm confused," Berkley stated, puzzlement coating her face.

"I'm gonna tell my mom that I'm in the science club when I'll really be coaching the hockey team," I wiggled my eyebrows mischievously, actually proud of the plan I've concocted.

"No! Karebear, now would be a good time to actually obey your mom. I'm not so sure this is a good idea. What if you get hurt? And what about off-campus games?" she mewled and I could feel the concern radiating all around her like a blatant aura.

"I'll be fine," I promised, "my heart is okay; it's not going to give up despite what my mom thinks. And I'll just tell my mom that I'm going on field trips with the science club during games at other schools."

"I don't know Karris," Berkley shook her head slowly, "lying to your mom about going to the movies to meet a boy is one thing, but lying to your mom about something that concerns your health... sounds like you're playing with the Devil."

"Let me ask you something Berkley. What if your parents tried to get you to stop dancing?"

"I'd protest. Dancing makes me happy,"

"And hockey is my happy place. I promise I'll be careful. And I'm not asking for you to cover me 24/7; just be my best friend and support me on this," I begged, a glimmer of hope in my eyes. Reluctantly, Berkley smiled. She let out a sigh and rolled her brown eyes, succumbing to my request.

"Fine, I'll support this," Berkley beamed at me, causing me to grin wide and jump in excitement.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! You're the best!" I pulled her in for a tight hug. Suddenly, Berkley separated from the embrace and pointed a stern finger in my direction.

"Just promise me you'll show Ashton who's boss,"

"Don't worry," I smirked, a snarky undertone to my words, "I will."