k a r r i s

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I had an upcoming exam in AP English that needed my full attention. So, I decided to bring my lunch into the library that day to review the study guide for Orwell's "Nineteen Eighty-Four." In the midst of understanding the several themes and motifs captured within the classic story, I felt a presence disturb my solo study session. The chair across from me slid out, and in plopped a dimpled cutie.

"Hey," I smiled, pleased with the interruption. "Are you alright?"

I only noticed then, when I sat my pencil down to fondly ogle the boy, that something was off. Ashton's normally messy head of curls were more unruly; he had deep bags beneath his sockets, and his gleaming hazel eyes were drained from its color.

"Can we skip?" Ashton asked, sinking into his chair with a cold expression.

"Ash," I hesitated. "I skipped the other day, and I have an exam later in the day. I can't, I'm sorry."

He didn't respond right away, only staring at me with intensity in his eyes. I frowned, observing Ashton, and trying to decipher the darkness that prickled his being.

"Is this about your mom? Is-is she, o-okay?" I felt my hear constrict as I waited for Ashton to reply. His insane demeanor signified the theory.

"She's close to death, Karris. Why the hell would she be okay?" Ashton suddenly snapped, causing me to jump in my seat. However, I wasn't going to let that stun me.

So I pushed my chair back and stood up. I rounded the table to the other side where Ashton sat and pulled out the chair next to him. I sat down and grabbed his face in my hands. I planted a supple kiss on Ashton's forehead as he closed his eyes. The warmth of my skin seemed to comfort the hockey captain, because he leaned into my hands and covered them with his own calloused ones.

And that's when I noticed them— bruised knuckles.

"What happened here?" I questioned, taking his hands in mine. I softly ran a finger across the discolored skin that decorated his knuckles. Ashton pulled his hands away and cupped my face with urgency.

"Karris, kiss me," he demanded, leaning towards me.

"Ash, no," I softly pushed him away, denying the demand. Though I did long for us to share a kiss, I was not going to let it happen under these conditions. If my life were ever to be graced with a lovely lip to lip embrace with Ashton, it would be affection that anchored us together.

But this— in a library, with his emotions at a whirlwind, was not the environment of something so heart defyingly intimate.

"Come on, Karris, please," Ashton breathlessly plead, grabbing my face once again and leaned in faster. I tilted my head at the last moment, causing his lips to make contact with my jaw line.

"No. Stop Ash, please," I asserted, my voice strong as it commanded my insistence. "What's going on with you?"

"Nothing," his voice was bleak as the word fell out of his mouth. "I just thought you'd want to show me a little affection after what I've for you."

With furrowed brows I glared uneasily at him. I examined Ashton's disposition, mulling over his prior statement. And then it hit me— harder than expected.

"Ash you didn't," I sighed, dropping further into the chair.

"I didn't do, what?" Ashton crossed his arms.

"Try to fix things? Regarding Sebastian," I guessed.

"What if I did?'

"I told you not to meddle; this is my battle,"

"I did it for you, dammit," Ashton smacked his large hand against the table in fury. A few students from several tables away looked up from their work to catch glimpse of the scene. "Sebastian has been causing you pain and I wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine."

"So you beat him to a pulp?" I shrieked. "Why would you do that? That's only going to piss off Sebastian even more than he already is."

"Let him be pissed," Ashton sneered. "I can protect you."

"What if he goes to his dad— the sheriff? Or what if he retaliates and decides to come after me, after you, or my family?" I rubbed my face, as if the abrasion would ebb the stress. I shook my head, my face twisted with ire. "You crossed the line, Ash."

"Whatever," he grumbled. He bent down to grab his backpack by the strap and snatched it upwards. The main compartment was wide open and when the bag ricocheted on impact, a few of Ashton's belongings tumbled out.

Ashton groaned annoyingly, falling to his knees to attend the situation. I dropped to the ground too, to help pick up the items. A water bottle, a notebook, a few pens, and the wristband from the With Confidence concert were just a few of the things that scattered the carpeted Library floor.

When I seized the notebook, I felt a dampness blanket my hands. I noticed the edges of the spiraled journal were wet, and immediately my eyes darted over to the water bottle. Ashton seemed to think the same thing because when I reached for the plastic vial, he did too. However, when my hand grasped onto it first, Ash let out a grunt.

"Give that to me," he hissed, his fingers clenching onto the bottle as he snatched it away from me. In doing so, the loose cap flew off and the bottle's contents spilled onto my hand.

"Ash, careful," I muttered.

My initial instinct was to wipe my hand across my jeans, but then I smelled something off about the liquid. I sniffed my skin and cringed from the putrid odor.

"You've been drinking," I speculated. "Why on Earth are you drunk in the middle of the day? What's going on? I can help you, but you have to open up a little."

"Like how you opened up to me, and I tried to help you, but then get fucking pissed off about it," Ashton ranted, a sour taste on his tongue as the words harshly filtered out of him.

"That's not the same thing, and you know it," I argued, throwing the notebook in my hand against his chest. I stood up from the ground, sauntering back to my side of the table to retrieve my things.

"Hurry and pack your things Karebear. Let's get out of here," Ashton commanded.

I ceased my movements and gawked annoyingly at him, "if you think I'm going anywhere with you right now, you're out of your mind. When you're sober, and ready to talk, call me."

I hurriedly stuffed my papers into my textbook, and stacked my copy of "Nineteen Eighty Four" on top of that. I grabbed my belongings off of the table and marched away from the situation.

"Karris, wait," Ashton followed after me— I could hear his heavy steps stomp against the carpeted floor behind me.

I quickened my pace, and clutched onto my things with a tighter grip as I descended the library steps. I felt a strong tug on my arm, and mid-step I turned my body to face Ashton angrily.

"I don't wanna talk to you right now," I grimaced.

"Babydoll," he breathed.

"Don't. Babydoll. Me," I glared at Ashton, and pulled my arm away from his grasp.

I continued down the stairs, weaving my way through the students who flowed in and out of the main library doors. I pushed the glass barricade wide, walking out and began the trek to class, where hopefully the door was open so I could finish studying there.

But I wasn't so sure I could study anymore. My brain needed to power through complex topics, but my mind was preoccupied with Ashton. Besides deliberately going behind my back to take matters into his own hands, he comes to school with alcohol in his system. On top of that, Ashton put his hands on the one person that held the power to do serious damage to anyone he chose. It terrified me to think about what Sebastian was thinking; horrified me to calculate all the ways in which he could retaliate.

As I averted myself from ransacking into my many tall peers on the way to class, I could hear Ashton's call from a distance. Once again, I accelerated my steps to avoid that hot mess. However, unfortunately for me, that hot mess had long legs and caught up to me with ease.

"You're just like your God damn brother!" Ashton's voice boomed through the corridor with a dominating echo.

I stopped in my tracks, slowly turning around to find the drunk, dimpled hockey captain standing several feet before me.

"He was stubborn as fuck," Ashton continued, inching his way towards me at an agonizing slow speed. The students around us gradually stopped their movements to watch the drama unfold. "He was a pompous as they came which is why he had so many enemies."

"Ashton, go home, and take a rest," I advised. "I will call you later."

"You're demanding just like Gabe too," Ashton chuckled, shooting me a snarl.

"I'm only demanding," I began, taking a large stride to be toe-to-toe with Ashton. "Because your head is in a terrible headspace and you need to go home and sleep it off."

"I don't need to listen to you. What do actually you know?" Ashton scoffed. "You may know a lot about Physics and Chemistry, but when it comes to the real world, you know jack-shit. You're just Karris Villanueva, a socially awkward little girl who should have never stepped foot on Willowridge turf."

I stood there glaring at Ashton in silence. I held my ground, keeping myself together because there was no way in Hell that I was going to shed one damn tear over him. Ashton made me cry far too much this year, and I wasn't going to let that happen again. I did have to thank the hockey captain, because he inadvertently taught me how to be strong; how to flourish in times of tyranny. And it was in this moment that sealed the lesson.

"Ash, what the fuck is wrong with you?" The new voice that rang in my ears and resonated against the lockers was powerful.

Luke paraded towards us with furrowed brows and an expression of both confusion and animosity. He darted his eyes from Ashton, to me, and then back to Ashton. He took a step forward, sniffed the air that surrounded the hockey captain and let out an exhale.

"Are you drunk?" Luke questioned.

"Go away, this isn't any of your business," Ashton sneered, not once taking a moment to glare at Luke— his eyes perpetually focused on me.

"It becomes my business when you're deliberately attacking my friend," Luke justified.

Ashton finally broke his stare down with me and let out a laugh. He clapped a few times, the clamor echoing in the hall.

"I see what you're doing," Ashton began with a smug expression, crossing his arms above his chest. "But defending Karris won't bring you redemption for what you did to Gabe."

Luke rolled his eyes and scoffed, "the only thing I did to Gabe was stop him from completely humiliating Calum. It was the right thing to do."

"I'm not talking about that 'thing'," Ashton air-quoted with a grim tone. "You sought revenge after Gabe decided to turn his plan of attack from Calum to you."

"What?" I looked up at Luke with curiosity. "What did Gabe do that you needed revenge for?"

"Tell her Luke," Ashton pressed, his bloodshot eyes pointed at his teammate. "Tell Karris how you're the reason why Brampcrest crashed the party that ended Gabe's life."

I snapped my attention to the blonde haired, blue eyed hockey player, "what? You, what?"

Luke looked guilty to say the least. He no longer had an angry expression painted on his face. Instead, the fair-skinned boy held notes of shame etched within his facial expression.

"Luke, what's Ashton saying?" I asked. "What's he talking about?"

"I tricked the Brampcrest hockey team into coming to the party," Luke revealed, dropping his chin to his chest.

"How did you do that?" I questioned, glancing at him with wonder.

"I convinced some Brampcrest girls to go to the party, then sent photos of them to the hockey team," Luke explained. "It pissed them off, especially since Gabe were in those photos too."

"Why would you do such a thing?" I was feeling sick to my stomach.

"Because Gabe turned the tables to little Lucas here," Ashton morphed his tone into a playful one, poking Luke's cheek.

"Don't fucking touch me," Luke slapped Ashton's hand out of the way before turning his attention back to me. "Look, I didn't mean for Gabe to get hurt. I just wanted him to get spooked; get bullied the way he bullied all of us."

"What did my brother do to you that you had call up his number one enemies to spook him?" I was growing flustered with confusion as the seconds passed.

"I went to the doctors to make sure I didn't have any STD's," Luke began with a reluctant sigh. "I was clean, but when Gabe stole my results, and made hundreds of copies, he only got the part that showed I was being tested. It became this whole thing that I had more than one sexually transmitted disease. No girl wanted to date me, and when the rumor reached my mom, I didn't see the light of day."

My brother was a monster, and I had an uneasiness creep into my heart. I felt uneasy, not because my twin was a cruel bully, but because I wasn't angry with Luke for deciding to retaliate. I sympathized with him because I knew what it felt like to be tormented— I understood what it felt like to have my soul slivered into fragments because of sadistic people. The amount of times I wanted to run over Tegan with a car, back up, and do it again were endless. So, even though Luke's simple plot of revenge ended in my brother's life, I didn't particularly blame him.

And that's why I felt uneasy.

"Karris, listen to me," Luke's voice was at a low whisper, his hands resting on my shoulders. "I promise, with my entire being, that I did not mean for your brother to get killed. It eats me up inside to have held this—"

"Shut up, Luke," Ashton interrupted. "Karris doesn't wanna hear that."

"Dude, go home!" Luke demanded, brandishing out his arm and pointing towards the other end of the hallway. "You're upsetting Karris."

"Don't tell me what—" Ashton stopped mid-sentence as he sucked in his breath. The pink hues in his cheeks drained, leaving him sickly pale. Then, without any warning, he keeled forward, spewing out a rancid, chunky sludge all over Luke's all white Vans.

Gross.

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Oh Ashton. I hope you all liked this chapter! More about Luke & his relationship with Gabe has been revealed, including how the Brampcrest hockey team ransacked into the party where Gabe was killed at. There's SO much more to reveal & more plot points that's will play out & I'm super excited!!

Thanks for all the support & love. The votes & comments don't go unnoticed & I appreciate every single one of them!