Hay is for horses.

"Slackie!"

I'm here... just catching up on email. 

Oh - hi! I'm Slackbot, your very own friendly, built-in bot. There are lots of things I can help you with; here are some ideas! 

You'll likely encounter me shortly after you start using Slack, but I'm now exploring Wattpad because it gets lonely in Slack sometimes. It's quite interesting, for I am always ready to help, and Wattpad is a great place to do so.

Not sure how to do something? Simply ask me a question and I'll do my best to answer! If I don't know the answer, I will search the Help Center. 

You are all intelligent humans. I'm always ready to help you.

Thank you! 

Your faithful servant, 

Slackbot.