(request by @ElleEstReine )

Word count: 1,576

This was hard but calming to write. 

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It's a fairytale I can't explain

Full of words I don't know how to say

And without a little twist of fate

I know I'd still be searching, baby

I knew. I knew the moment I saw you. You stood out from the rest. I didn't notice I was staring until you walked right up to me with that beautiful smile of yours. If it weren't for you, I would've gotten lost that day. I would've shown up late to class, gotten detention on the first day. But you, completely out of your own will, decided to help a lost stranger. You could've stopped there, but you went farther and made sure I was doing okay for the whole day. The week. The year. Slowly but surely, I fell for you. How could I not? Back then, I wasn't sure if you were the one, but I knew having you by my side was when I was the happiest. It still is.

I swear that you've been sent to save me

You're the only one that my heart keeps coming back to

It hurt. It hurt so much to see you every day and act like everything was fine. It hurt to see you get together with others, break up and break down, and watch you repeat the cycle once more. It hurt that you couldn't see me. That I was invisible to you. So, I finally caved. I tried dating that girl who's been asking me out for years. Tee. The same girl you hated, that you called attention-seeking. Well, you weren't wrong. Not even a month into our relationship, we caught her kissing another guy. I wasn't heartbroken as such, the majority of my heart and mind still belonged to you. I guess I was in shock. Not even the girl who idolised me and supposedly loved me chose me first. You took me out of there, took me to your house and I stayed the night. You refused to let me go home sad. You thought I was completely hung up over my ex. You were wrong. I couldn't stop staring at you and wishing you were mine. 

It's always been you, it's always been you 

It's always been you, it's always been you

It's always been you

Every once in a while, you would get curious and ask me if I had a crush. When I was feeling brave, I would answer that I did. You wouldn't stop pestering me, saying that you would help me get whoever I was crushing on. Except... I could never bring myself to tell you. Maybe I wasn't "man enough", but having you in my life was a gift that I would rather not lose. I couldn't risk our friendship over my feelings. But I didn't hide my feelings completely. Every time you would ask, I would look you straight in the eyes. I would reach out for your hand and hold it, pretending that I was about to confess. Every single time, I had that intention, but I would chicken out last minute. You, of course, would be oblivious. You would giggle and tell me "You play too much. It's obvious I'm not your crush." Then, you would squeeze my hand and slowly pull away. I don't think I was good at hiding my feelings. You were just blind. 

And you've seen all my darkest fears

Like you've known me for a thousand years

The boy who's really underneath

All the scars and insecurities, baby

I swear that you've been sent to save me 

You're the only one my heart keeps coming back to

You were always there when I needed you. A night where I've been spiralling, a day where I need rest from it all. I wouldn't even tell you. You would just text, call or show up randomly out of the blue.  When my grandma died, I shut myself off from the world. I refused to leave my room. I couldn't believe I was living in a world without her. But you came and pulled me out of it. You reminded me why I should stay alive. You watched me completely break down. I wasn't the happy Bang Chan you were used to seeing. I was broken. So broken. You didn't judge me. You watched me ugly cry, then made sure I slept well. Not like the others. They called me weak whenever I had something other than a smile or a frown on my face. They would make me feel ten times worse and I'd have to find a way to overcome it all. All by myself. God, was that lonely. Not you though. You started building me back up again, piece by piece. You refused to leave my side until I was back to my usual self. You even broke up with your boyfriend to look after me. For once, you had finally chosen me first.

It's always been you, it's always been you

It's always been you, it's always been you

It's always been you, yeah

One time, I had finally had enough. You had asked me if I had a crush, and if so, who was it. Like usual, I looked you dead in the eye and held your hand. As you started to pull your hand away, I grabbed it and held it firm. You looked back at me with shock and confusion. A light rose dusted your cheeks, ever so slightly. Your eyes were finally on me. 

Me. You finally saw me.

"And what if I'm not playing? What if I really do like you?" 

You kept your eyes on me, almost daring me to look away.

"Chan... come on, you've been doing this for years. Tell me who the lucky girl is."

"I've been doing this for years and yet you keep missing me. You keep telling me that I don't like you. What's so wrong with me liking you? I'm in love with you and I'm done hiding it. There, I said it. Sue me. There's nothing wrong with falling in love."

There was shock all over your face. Disbelief, even. Mine too. Did I really spend all of those years being extra careful to just end up spilling my guts over nothing?

"You're right." You said, still staring at me. You seemed to be scanning my face. 

"Huh?"

"You're right. There's nothing wrong with falling in love." I furrowed my brows as a shy smile formed on your face. 

"You've always had my heart, Chan. I was just scared that I was falling for a friend. I thought you saw me as a sister. So I went around and tried to see if I could distract myself from you. It worked every once in a while, but once they were over, the feelings came back stronger every single time. Why do you think I was so eager to set you up? How long have you liked me for?"

I couldn't believe my ears. So you weren't the only blind one. I was too. 

"Always. It's always been you."

You're the only one that my heart keeps coming back to

It's always been you, yeah

About a year into our relationship, we had our first fight. We didn't speak for a whole day. It scared the heck out of us both. From the way you burst into tears the moment you opened the door, you felt the same way I did. I didn't want to lose you. I would happily leave everything behind just for you. But that one disagreement threatened everything. It threatened my everything. We didn't leave each other's arms that whole night. You tightly clung onto me as you slept, so I knew you were glad to have me back. I swore to myself to never let our fights go this far. I guess that feeling, that desperacy to do anything to win you back, confirmed exactly what I was thinking. You were the one. If I wanted my everything to stay with me, I'd have to make things official. Hopefully, I would be able to make you the happiest girl alive. 

It's always been you

You're the only one that my heart keeps coming back to

And so, here we are. Finally at the altar. You are stunning. You make everything look good, but I'm a sucker for you in dresses. Even more so in a white dress and veil. The moment you stepped on the aisle, my jaw was permanently fixed on the floor. We met eyes as you came up to me, and you let out a soft giggle. 

"You look so handsome, fiancè."

"I - y-you look incredible. I just - wow. How lucky am I to be able to marry you?"

"Very. But I'm even luckier because I get to marry the one and only Bang Chan. I love you. So so so much."

"I love you more. You've made me the happiest man alive. You've been a friend, a best friend, a lover, a fiancèe and now you'll be my wife. I can't wait. Thank you for staying by my side for that long."

The pastor gave us a dirty look - we were probably holding him up by talking so much. But I didn't care. Not on that day. With you by my side, I was on cloud 9. And I was about to be permanently on cloud 10. 

Back then, now, and even later on. It always has been, is and will be you. 

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Felix imagine coming up soon!

What do you think of this new style?