Thanks to changing her diet a bit, and eating the foods Marcello suggested to her, she was feeling a lot better after the chemo treatments.

And now Sarena insisted on going with her. She liked her sister pampering her after the treatments and then taking care of Atiya when she couldn't.

"Girl, you got this. You'll be in remission soon," Sarena said, sitting beside her bed feeding her soup she did not want but ate anyway.

"Doctor said a few more treatments and we shall see."

"Then we will have a big party. Your birthday coming up right? Dirty thirty! Let's kick it. Party at my place...better yet, let's have a girl's trip."

"So you're not going to invite our new little brother?"

"He's exactly that, new. He still needs to earn his way in the family."

"You are being too hard on him, none of this is his fault."

"And I know that. I actually like CJ, he's a good kid, but he still needs to prove himself to me. He might be just like that sperm donor, and in the family for a minute and then leave."

Her sister had a point with that. None of them heard from their father again after that meeting. He ghosted them again, even with Sarena helping CJ with a recording deal. If that's all he wanted from them, he should have never shown his face. She felt so bad that she pushed her sisters to meet with him. She would get over it, but Nola and Tennille wanted to bond with the man.

"So where should we go for your big thirtieth birthday?"

She did not have to think long.

"Jamaica."

"Ooh, nice! Let's plan that shit now. Your birthday is like a month away, you and Nola's birthdays are so close, we can celebrate together."

Her birthday was February 14, born on Valentine's day. Baby sis' birthday was March 2, she would be twenty-one. Nola probably did not want to celebrate her day with someone else.

"Naw, she deserves her own thing."

"Oh yeah, Grammy weekend right after her birthday, so maybe we'll just do that."

This was going to be her first time at the Grammys and she was going to show her whole Black ass.

The next day after chemo she felt a hundred percent better and good thing because both Dallas and Malik were coming down. She would never schedule it so that they would be there at the same time. Dallas was doming to get Atiya for the weekend, so he was coming down early so he could pick her up from school.

He came to the house to get her things and see her.

"Babe, why don't you come with us this weekend to St. Louis? I haven't spent time with you in a while."

She had not spent time with either of the guys that much. She had not told them what she was dealing with either.

"No, this is daddy and daughter time. Why don't you come and see me next weekend."

Dallas huffed. "Is he coming down to see you?"

"Now do you really want to talk about Malik right now?"

"So if you can't tell me you love me, do you love him?"

Now he was going there and she was not in the mood for this. He was more persistent about their relationship because they had been together longer. He was never happy that there was another guy. She understood men didn't like that type of thing. Then again, she never begged him to stay with her. He chose to stay even when she admitted to him she was seeing someone else.

"Dallas, we can be over and done, if that's what you want. I told you I care about you enough to want to keep you in my life, but if that's not enough-"

He pulled her in his arms and kissed her. So much for him being upset with her. "I love you, you know how much I love you, that's why I let you play me like this. I have been with you all these years for a reason. I don't know how much longer I can take this."

Dallas was a good man, and he was right, he stuck around with her through some of the worse trauma in her life, still, he loved her. She never wanted to give him up freely, but if he walked away, she would respect his decision.

Atiya walking into the room stopped them from continuing their heated argument, and she moved away from him. "Daddy, can I bring my princess crown and wand Uncle Icee bought me?"

Dallas did a double-take at the diamond-studded tiara and wand. "Is that...real diamonds?"

"They don't call Icee, Icee, for nothing." Indeed the gift was too much, but when you had millions, that was a drop in the bucket.

"Tiy, you have all the things you want to bring? You know you don't need to pack clothes, you have plenty at my house."

"Well! I can pack more toys. Be right back." Atiya rushed up to her room.

"Ash," Dallas pulled her to him again, holding her in his arms. "I want us to be together, a family."

"We are."

"I mean, live together. You know I will take care of you and my daughter. Tell me what you need from me."

"Just you," she said as she kissed him. "Keep loving me the way you do and taking care of my baby girl."

"Always baby." He gave her another kiss as Atiya rushed back in. "I love you," he whispered in her ear before pulling apart.

No sooner than they left, she heard Malik at her door, ringing the doorbell. She checked herself made sure she was fly as ever, then opened the door for him.

Before he said anything, he swooped her up into his arms, carrying her like a child.

"Damn baby, you're sexy!"

"You don't think I'm too skinny."

"Baby, I love you no matter what."

They ripped off each other's clothes and were hot and heavy before they made it to her bedroom. He liked to kiss all over her body, stopping and licking certain parts. She was so glad today was a day she felt like her old self again. Freaky! Maybe today was the day she would have an orgasm.

But as much as sex with Malik was great, her body did not reach that ultimate high she needed it to. She knew why...though she refused to admit it to herself.

Malik never knew because she would never tell him. She knew he would not be able to handle it like Dallas. To him, she was satisfied.

"Babe," he said, holding her in his arms while they lay in bed. "I love you so much."

"I know." She rubbed a hand over his locs. Gorgeous man, she was lucky ten times over and she knew that. He could choose to leave at any moment, but he chose to stay.

"Ashley Shantell Kelly, marry me. I need you as my wife. You make me happy, and I want to make you happy the rest of our lives."

He was too perfect to be real. How could she tell him no, yet again? That the idea of marrying anyone scared her to dickens. Marriage meant forever. Marriage meant committing your undying love to each other, before God. What were her examples of a happy marriage?

Not her parents.

Not her big sister, who now was an adulteress.

Maybe Kitty and Icee, but it was too soon to tell.

No one she knew was happily married. They were either forever single like her. Married and divorced by now. Or unhappily married but sticking with it anyway. Marriage was just a piece of paper, she didn't need it anyway.

"Malik, I'm sorry. Why do you keep doing this, you know how I feel." She moved away from him, sitting up in the bed, adjusting her wig on her bald scalp. It was glued down, but she feared it would somehow come off and he would see her bald head.

"Is it because of him? Dallas? I know you don't love him and you only keep him around because of Atiya."

"Not true! He's more than my daughter's father, he saved my life, you will never understand!" She got out of bed, grabbed a robe to put on, went into the bathroom, and closed the door.

She was selfish, she knew this. Having two guys that loved her, but unable to commit to either of them. She knew what she had to do. End it with one of them. It

A/N: What do think of Ashley and her sexual condition? Physical, related to the cancer? Mental, related to her feelings for the two guys?

Do you think she needs to decide on one guy? Which one do you think is the right one for her?