Username: @CaptainNaccho | Title: Bone and Blood | Genre: Science Fiction

***Warning spoilers ahead***

The end had come. It was not the apocalypse anyone expected. Angels didn't fall from the sky to have the last dance with the demons rising from the deepest pits. It wasn't the green army of undead eating brains and making woooo sounds. The nuclear and other chemical weapons built by men's hands were clean of the pungent smell of blood rising from the jewel of the universe.

No, the end was way worse.

A race of beings whose existence was beyond the comprehension of the last men. Shifters, they were called. Untamed beasts of gore and violence, they were. Beings who could turn from their primal state and back. They could be anyone. They could be anything.

Young Dmitri is the last of his family. Hope for a career was gone. Hope to find peace in the comfort of a home was also gone. Hope to play in the park, shop in the mart, visit a landmark, grow old, and watch the sun set on your kids and grandkids: all gone. After hope had failed and all good falling star wishes vanished, just one last thing remained. Survival.

Review:

CC: *I think this is a work in progress first draft. I admonish the writer to finish his work before asking for a review or reading one. That way you don't get brought back multiple times, disrupting the flow of the book; making it less interesting and riddled with plot holes. Worse, you might never get to finish the book because of ill reviews.

Take it that you are painter listening to the words aired about what is on your canvas. You might end up painting something out of your original plan. Taking away the pride of bringing a picture in your mind to life. Finish and then showcase. *

Now, this is what I think about your first draft. There were just two chapters. In spite of most of the errors, I want to say that I enjoyed reading the book. I think there is still a lot of questions I want to ask: plot-wise. I also loved the character description of the Shifters; It made it easy for me to understand their fears.

Like many first drafts, taking time to re-read and check for misspellings, wrong use of punctuations, the lower case I, capitalising of proper nouns, and the rest is key. Some of the aforementioned were quite evident in the book. I will suggest the use of professional editors, beta-readers, and editing apps like Grammarly; To help in looking for errors that went past the periphery of the Writer's vision while editing or writing. I have an article on the use of colon, semi-colon, dashes, and comma. It can also help you improve your writing.

The setting description was okay, but it can better. The setting is the life force of every book. It helps the readers to be able to see what the character is seeing or feel what the character is feeling.

For example, the setting description in Study in a Scarlet (Sherlock Holmes)

Number 3, Lauriston Gardens wore an ill-omened and minatory look. It was one of four which stood back some little way from the street, two being occupied and two empty. The latter looked out with three tiers of vacant melancholy windows, which were blank and dreary, save that here and there a "To Let" card had developed like a cataract upon the bleared panes. A small garden sprinkled over with a scattered eruption of sickly plants separated each of these houses from the street, and was traversed by a narrow pathway, yellowish in colour, and consisting apparently of a mixture of clay and of gravel. The whole place was very sloppy from the rain which had fallen through the night. The garden was bounded by a three-foot brick wall with a fringe of wood rails upon the top, and against this wall was leaning a stalwart police constable, surrounded by a small knot of loafers, who craned their necks and strained their eyes in the vain hope of catching some glimpse of the proceedings within.

I have an article on settings; you can also check it out. It is going to help you greatly.

Paragraphing is also an important aspect of writing. I found paragraphing defective in the book. On a few occasions, I noticed so many points cramped into a paragraph. In my perspective, I think some of those points that are somewhat different and important should have their own paragraph.

Check out my article on paragraphing to find out more.

Lastly, but no so much important to other readers. Giving a different font or italicizing your memories embedded in a chapter. Like a scene where a character has a flashback or so, not to get the reader lost and tired, which leads eventually to dropping the book aside; worse, moving to another book. Most people use italics.

This book is off to a good start and I hope to read more.