THE BIG FAT JILY WEDDING

"Dude, don't worry" she'd said, boy does Sirene Black wish she could take it back, because as she stared at a crumbling wedding venue in front of her eyes all she could think was 'Shit'

Now, you might be wondering how she got herself into such a bloody mess — the answer is procrastination.

You see, because Lily and James had been stressing so much about their wedding — the gang had taken it upon themselves to divide and conquer, Sirene was handed the venue department, Sirius the music, Remus the invitations, Lauren the dresses, Peter the hotel rooms, Marlene the food and well, Alice wasn't allowed to do anything because she would start crying about how far they'd come, and it's not the best thing to do while you're giving around orders.

Sirene Black had put it off for the thousandth time when Lily and James asked her yesterday.

"Hey, Si about the venue—" James said as both him and Lily sat down opposite to Andrew and Sirene at the family room of the marauders house.

"Don't worry dude, I've got it" Sirene said leaning back into the couch as she took a sip of her beer.

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Sirene Black:

"Please, I've singlehandedly filled cells of Azkaban by kicking deatheater arse, how hard can finding a venue be?"

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Little did she know — she would come to regret those words more than she ever thought she would.

"Oh, my godric" Sirene said with her face falling at the sight of the venue, the person showing her it smiled hugely.

"So, what do you think?" He wiggled his eyebrows.

"Listen, man, I don't know if I mentioned this before when I was talking to you on the phone" Sirene said plastering a smile on her face, "But um, I WAS PROMISED A BEAUTIFUL WEDDING VENUE OF SOMEONE'S DREAM, WHICH THIS — DEFINITELY IS NOT! SO, WHY DON'T YOU FIX THIS BROKEN FUCKING PLACE THAT LOOKS LIKE IT JUST GOT HIT BY AN EARTHQUAKE AND GOT IT'S REMAINS WASHED OUT BY A TSUNAMI BEFORE I GET OVER THERE AND STRANGLE YOU TO DEATH!"

After a few awkward moments the employee spoke up, "So, no deal?"

"No, Jimmy, it's a no deal!" Sirene exclaimed throwing her hands back in disbelief, "The pictures you showed me were nowhere close to this hot piece of garbage"

Jimmy let out an offended gasp, "You insult me? Get out."

"Fine" Sirene said and then plastered a smile on her face, "Oh, wait, I almost forgot your tip" she pulled her middle finger up and then walked out of the place with a frown on her face.

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Sirene Black:

"Yeah, I'm fucked...I mean, like royally fucked, like I'm actually thinking of running away from here fucked. What am I going to tell Lily?"

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What the hell was she going to do now?!

The wedding is in two days and she'd promised Lily a perfect venue with her favorite view.

Oh, god. She'd had to go to him, wouldn't she? She dreaded the moment she would have to walk up to him and ask for help.

...

"I'm glad you came to me" Andrew said and then giggled like a little girl, "I am quite the master when it comes to planning wedding venues"

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Andrew Rosier:

You see, I'm a genius when it comes to wedding planned, I've planned thirteen weddings to this date...one when I was just eight" he points to his finger where the ring was, he then smiled, "I'm hoping to turn that thirteen into fourteen"

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"Uh huh" Sirene said as she watched him uninterested, "So, get on with it"

"I actually have a lot of venues in my mind" Andrew said, he reached inside his backpack and then pulled out a binder as thick as three books combined, "No, that's not right..."

"What do you mean that's right?" Sirene frowned, "Isn't that your binder for the whole wedding?"

"No, silly" Andrew scoffed, "This is just for the cakes"

"What the fuck..." Sirene's eyes widened.

"I know" Andrew nodded, "anyway, let me look for the venue binder"

"Yeah, you go ahead and do that, sweetie" nodded Sirene, "Meanwhile I'm gonna go outside, bite the curb and wait for someone to kick me"

"Have fun!" Andrew said absentmindedly as he pulled out another binder, and then another, and then another...wow, Sirene loves this idiot.

Sirene gave a look and then gathered her things from the table, she kissed him on the cheek out of habit and then made her way outside the cafe.

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Sirene Black:

"Did I mention I'm fucked? Cause, I'd like to — would Andrew have helped me with the venue and saved my lazy arse? Yes. Did I have the energy to watch my fiancé sit around giggling like a little kid and show me his binders? No...

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"Yeah, um, why exactly are you coming to me?" Sirius scratched his head awkwardly, "Wasn't that kind of your job?"

"Yeah, but I—" Sirene sighed, "Just, ok?"

"Well, now, if I must" Sirius shrugged, "I know this place that's perfect!"

"Really? Tell me about it!" Sirene said excitedly as she edged closer to the end of her seat, looking at her twin expectantly.

"Well, it's basically a club—"

Sirene walked out. Sirius turned to smirk.

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Sirius Black:

"No, I actually love weddings. I always wanted to marry a girl who agreed to walk down the isle with Queen playing in the background, like ya know as she's walking down the beat drops and it's like ba ba BOOM!" he pauses, embarrassed, "I would've helped her but she was so over confident, I had to teach her a lesson" he shrugged.

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Sirene knew that she would have to end up fixing this problem herself after approaching her several friends and ending up with nothing but disappointment.

And then the lightbulb lit in her head.

Why the hell hadn't she thought about that before?! James and Lily wanted a private, quiet wedding with just close friends, what better place for a quiet wedding than a lake? It sounds sketchy when she says it out loud but trust her it'll all make sense.

Sirene pulled out her wand from her backpack and then apparated to the prettiest lake she could think of, The Salazar Lake, it was the prettiest lake on earth only the thing was — muggles can't see it, to them it's just some regular lake with dirty water.

To magic folks though it turns into the shiniest water that reflects the scene on the surface in a way that could put mirrors to shame. The tress around it were always green and it even had a little bridge for pictures.

So, Sirene bought all the things she could need for a wedding venue decoration and she got to work. She created a whole altar by using an arch and a lot of flowers that she could legally not disclose where she got it from, just know that she has connections.

She then put flowers all the way around and she looked around with a smile, she did it.

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Sirene Black:

"I mean, not to brag or anything" she chuckled, "but I did come through, what did I say? Piece of cake!"

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The day of the wedding-

Lily and James looked around the venue and their mouths were open with astonishment.

"What are you doing?!" Lauren exclaimed, "Go the other way, both of you, you're not supposed to see the bride on the day of the wedding"

"But I—" James and Lily said together but shut up after they saw the murderous look on Lauren's face.

"Yeah, that's what I thought" Lauren said as both of them scrambled on to their seperate tents that Sirene had set up. "Dear Helga, she did do a pretty good job"

"I know" Sirene said with a grin, "If you and Remus need me, you know, hit me up"

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Marlene McKinnon:

"Please, you're telling me, Sirene Black — the procrastinator and the lazy ass of the group did this all by planning it? As if! I bet fifteen galleons she did it all in one day"

Lyra Avery:

"Honey, if you're done with this could you help me with my zipper?"

Marlene McKinnon:

"You know what that means" she winked

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The rest of the day went without a hitch watching her best friends marry each other is like the dream come true of every best friend, ok maybe not every best friend but Sirene had watched the two grow up together.

She had watched Lily change James for the better, she'd watched James turn Lily into a prankaholic and she'd watched both of her friends fall hopelessly in love with each other.

She took a look at the pictures in her hands, there were pictures of Lyra and Marlene, James and Lily and then there was a single picture of Andrew.

He rolled his eyes and then pulled out a big thumbs up with a big cheesy smile, watching him in that picture made Sirene fall in love with the idiot all over again.

"What are you all smiley about?" Andrew said as he pulled her to his side, pressing a kiss to the side of her head, "Don't tell me a gentleman caught your eye and now you're planning to leave me for him"

"Oh, yes, a gentleman did catch my eye" Sirene said and then handed him the picture, "This young man right here"

"Hmm, he does look pretty fit" Andrew said with a shrug, "I guess I can allow it"

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Sirene Black:

"Make that fourteen" she smiled at the picture in her hand.

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...

GUYSSSS I FOUND THIS IN MY GOOGLE DOCS THIS IS SO CUTE the writing sucks of course because i wrote it like 2 years ago and this is unedited too so yay 13/14 year old me???