Chapter 41

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Jimin was sitting on the cold bench in Yoongi's kitchen, his legs pulled up to his chest, staring at the other side of the room absentmindedly. He was only wearing a t-shirt, which he had pulled over his legs to keep them warm, and boxers. The exact same clothes he had been wearing when he had finally admitted the truth to Yoongi.

It had been a rather simple answer. It took a lot of willpower from Jimin to answer completely honestly, but he had done it. "I'm not a mermaid. That was a lie." There was a short pause in which he searched for any reactions on Yoongi's face. "I'm a siren. One of those creatures that seduce and kill humans in all the tales that are told around here."

Yoongi had had exactly one question. One Jimin could only give one honest answer to. "Do you?"

Now he was sitting here after Yoongi had asked him to leave him alone. Give him some time to think. Jimin had never seen Yoongi like that... so... blank. The boy wasn't showing any type of emotion. If he had maybe Jimin would have known what to say. How to make it better. But like this he'd just nodded, grabbed a pillow and walked out of the room. And since Yoongi's apartment was just his bedroom, bathroom and the kitchen the kitchen would have to do.

He was impatiently sitting there, tapping his foot and glancing at the door. Had Yoongi gone back to sleep? Did he expect Jimin to leave the apartment entirely?

Around half an hour had passed and Jimin was just about to get up and grab something to drink before going to sleep on the hard wood bench when the door to the room opened and a tired looking Yoongi entered.

Jimin could tell he was overthinking again. Not that Yoongi wasn't always overthinking, but he was probably taking it too far again. His face looked like it might have aged around five years in the last half hour. His eyes were a bit red and his face puffy.

Had he cried? Jimin couldn't tell. Maybe.

"Jimin... could I ask you some questions?" Yoongi's voice was rough and tired.

Not hesitating even a second Jimin nodded enthusiastically, moving to the side to make space for Yoongi, who simply sat down on a chair opposite of him. Not that it was surprising that he didn't want to sit next to Jimin but it hurt nevertheless.

"Are you with me because you want to seduce and kill me?" The question sounded ridiculous but Jimin gave a serious answer.

"Of course not."

"Then why are you with me?" Yoongi was playing with the edges of his finger nails. A sign that he was nervous. Again, not surprising.

"Because I love you." Jimin admitted straight up.

Yoongi let out a sigh that did sound a lot like relieve. "How much of what you told me so far is true... what is a lie?"

Jimin tilted his head, confusion written all over his face. "In what context?"

"What you told me about mermaids and their culture and so on... how much of it is true for sirens? Is anything you said true? Are there even mermaids?" Yoongi asked, still playing with his hands. Jimin kept getting distracted by it.

"No... no mermaids... and what I told you was true for the most part. We are shapeshifters... because that makes it easier to bait our prey... and yeah... I haven't really told you much about mermaids I think." Jimin stated wrapping his hands around his feet to warm them. Even though he couldn't feel cold in that sense he felt like the temperature in the room had dropped in the last hour.

"And the thing about the kiss being special and mermaids being monogamous?" Yoongi questioned further, running his hand through his hair. All Jimin wanted to do was to reach out his arms and hug him... but he couldn't... not yet. At least he hoped it was a 'yet'.

"It's true. We only fall in love once... and parting from that person breaks our heart. Quite literally. A Siren can die due to the pain." Jimin admitted, bringing his hand up to his chest. Yoongi didn't know it. Or he wasn't as aware of it the way Jimin was, but Jimin's life was now connected to his. It was no longer possible for Jimin to be happy without the boy by his side.

"That's kind of sad..." Yoongi admitted looking down to the floor. "What are things you haven't told me yet? What should I know about you?"

"I don't know..." Jimin admitted. Being a Siren was normal to him. He wasn't sure what was there that Yoongi might want to know. "Maybe that my voice can share emotions... and even manipulate what you feel. Sirens use it as a way of communication... and again, as a way to hunt." He glanced down to the floor.

"How many have you hunted... or rather killed?" Yoongi asked, voice a bit strained. Like he really didn't want to know.

"You don't want to know." Jimin concluded looking Yoongi dead in the eye.

"I do."

"More than I can count." It wasn't something Jimin felt particularly guilty about nor proud, but right now he felt bad because he had to tell Yoongi.

"Why?" This time Yoongi's voice was breathy. Not more than a whisper. Jimin felt tears gather in the corners of his eyes, but he swallowed everything down and answered. "It's my nature."

Jimin was scared. Scared that he might lose Yoongi. So scared.

"What about the last year? Or even last two years? Do you just go out and kill people or do you have a reason?"

"I don't usually. It's just... because it's what I do. I haven't killed anyone like that since I met you though... just those two bullies." He really hoped answering honestly was the right way to go. He could hear Yoongi's breath get caught in his throat.

"You killed them?" Yoongi sounded disbelieving. Like some part of him really felt bad for those two. They didn't deserve Yoongi's sympathy. Not after all they had done.

"Yeah. Drowned them. One in the ocean, one in his pool." Jimin left out the bloodier details of his second killing. It wasn't anything Yoongi had to know.

"Didn't they go missing officially?" Yoongi asked and Jimin still struggled with reading his expression.

"I made sure they wouldn't be found." He could tell that Yoongi was scared by how easy those words rolled off his tongue. At this point he was pretty sure that Yoongi wouldn't want to have anything to do with him anymore. Maybe he should just try to stall time. But that wasn't fair towards Yoongi. If the boy wanted him out that was his right.

"And that doesn't make you feel... bad? Because it makes me feel guilty, even though it wasn't directly my fault."

"I don't feel guilt the way you do... my emotions are not as varied as the ones you feel. I don't really feel things like guilt. I can feel happy, sad, in love, homesick... but that's about it. Sorry." Jimin stated. It was the main reason he struggled with reading Yoongi's emotions right now. They were too complicated to make sense to Jimin.

"It's not really your fault if it's your nature... if I told you that I want you to stop. That you're not allowed to kill anyone. Would you do it? Would you stop?" Jimin could tell that they had come to a core question. Maybe everything wasn't lost after all.

"I'd do anything for you if it makes you feel better." It was the truth. Jimin had reached a point where Yoongi's life was something he'd put even before his own. Of course it was like that. Otherwise he wouldn't have kissed Yoongi in the first place. Wouldn't have taken up the one-sided bond that made him this vulnerable.

Yoongi nodded. "I'm okay with that." He swallowed hard. "I know what you are... and it's okay as long as you don't kill anyone else. You have to promise me."

"You know... I really wanted to kill that last bully when we met him today. But you stood up for yourself and it was pretty cool and I didn't really feel like it was necessary to protect you anymore... so I'm okay with it." The boy said, chuckling softly and pulling his T-shirt closer to his body and hugging his legs.

"How did you kill them exactly? I mean how did you get them into the water... if it's something you think I might be okay with hearing." Yoongi asked getting up and sitting down on the bench next to Jimin, who turned in order to face Yoongi.

"It might sound a bit weird but I can use my voice to manipulate people to a point where they do what I want them to. Be it seducing or simply bombarding them with such high levels of bad feelings that they end up wanting to end it all at that moment... I can't really explain how it works." The boy was playing with the edges of his t-shirt, avoiding Yoongi's eyes.

"Could you use it on me? To show me?" Yoongi asked and Jimin instantly shook his head.

"No. Absolutely not."

"Why not?" Yoongi leant forward, putting his hand on Jimin's knee, but the boy simply shook his head.

"No way. You pretty much ask me to hurt you psychologically. That shit isn't completely without consequences. It's probably like your depressive phases... just worse. A lot worse. And all of it at once." Jimin tried to explain.

"But you can make it stop." Yoongi said like it was the most obvious thing.

"It will feel real. And it might have after effects. The bully today. I scared him by showing him creepy shit. Stuff that happened to his friends... stuff that might happen to him as well. And you saw him. I stopped. I did it for a couple of seconds and I stopped right after. But that doesn't change anything about what he saw. He'll probably not sleep for a couple of nights. It's just scarring." The boy tried to reason. "What I can do is worse than that. I scared that guy. That is nothing. What I can do is make you feel so much pain that you stop caring... you think you want that?" Jimin shook his head. "And even if you still do... I'm not going to do it."

Yoongi sighed. "Please... I just want to know what you're capable of. What they felt. Because I'm partly at fault too."

Jimin shook his head. "They don't feel anything anymore. They are dead. I'm not going to do this."

"You said, you'd do anything for me." Yoongi accused, leaning forward even more.

Jimin could tell. Yoongi had no idea what he was trying to get Jimin to do. He was taking him seriously, but not as serious as would have been reasonable.

"Not when it comes to hurting you." Jimin whispered.

"Five seconds. Just five seconds and I will leave you alone." Yoongi asked and Jimin glanced to the side, distress clearly visible on his face. "I don't want to. Why are you this stubborn?!"

"Just five seconds." Yoongi interlinked their fingers with each other. Yoongi was stupid. Jimin was sure of that. But the boy was stubborn and Jimin knew he wouldn't stop asking.

"Five seconds." Jimin repeated pulling his legs out of his t-shirt. "And you're stupid. So goddamn stupid."

"I know." Yoongi chuckled. "But I have to experience it first hand?"

"So stupid." Jimin sighed. He really didn't want to do this. It hurt him physically to see Yoongi in pain and now he was supposed to hurt Yoongi?

"Tell me when you're ready." Jimin ordered, grabbing both of Yoongi's hands and holding them as firmly as he possibly could.

Taking a long breath Yoongi sat up before nodding. "I'm ready."

Jimin pressed his lips into a thin line worriedly, before opening his mouth and singing a couple of tunes. It was a slow song. Rather easy. In a language Yoongi had never heard before, but it wasn't like he was able to concentrate on it. Instead it felt like his whole world broke down. Every bad emotion he had felt the last ten years coming back to him. Every insecurity, fear and guilt he had felt suddenly washing over him.

Intrusive thoughts, things he thought he'd finally gotten over came back, suddenly everything felt like it was too much. How was he supposed to deal with this? His dreams that were so unrealistic to the point that they were ridiculous. How bad his social skills were. That he'd never made friends. Never been able to. The fact that he really, really wasn't someone to like. Not even he himself liked himself.

He tried to be a good person. All the time. But he felt like he was failing. He still ended up feeling arrogant. He still was egoistic. He still did what was best for him all the time. He didn't want to. He wanted to be someone good. Who put other's wellbeing over his own. But by the end of the day he still was such a fucking asshole.

He could feel the oh so familiar self-hatred come back. The guilt he felt for small things in the past.

All of that seemed to circle him in a thunder of emotions and pain and hurt. He wasn't someone to like. After all even his own mother had given him up. Left him to drown.

And then there it was. The breaking point. Why was he doing this again? He really didn't know. What did he have to gain by living?

Just seconds ago there were so many emotions flooding him, so much pain, so much noise and now everything felt silent and numb.

And then it stopped. The feeling returned back to his arms and he could feel Jimin holding him, carefully cradling him in his arms, whispering warm words of affection.

Yoongi could feel tears in the corners of his eyes. He felt like shit. It wasn't nearly as bad as it had been seconds before. But he felt so uncomfortable in his own body. He didn't want to be himself. It was disgusting.

Sobs started bubbling up in his throat and he tried stopping them, but he couldn't. Instead he buried himself in Jimin's chest and started crying. Crying to get all of it out of his system. All those bad emotions he thought he'd gotten over years ago, that apparently still lingered there, somewhere deep inside of him.

"Shhhh." Jimin's voice was soothing and relaxing. Another song filled the air. This one a lot warmer than the first one. Yoongi sighed in relieve when warmth flooded his body, taking away all the pain and fear that had come back to daylight. It washed all of it away. And before he'd even completely come back to himself, he'd fallen asleep on Jimin's lap.

A/N

😢

Here a longer chapter for you guys. Jimin finally told him.

I just want to say something about Jimin in this story.

Although he seems quite human he isn't quite so. As mentioned in this chapter he doesn't feel all the emotions we humans feel.

He can feel pettiness or jealousy. He can't feel insecure.

He can feel happy in love or sad but he can't feel guilty. One easy way to describe it probably would be that he can't really question whether what he is doing is wrong or right.

He can only go by what Yoongi tells him.

Yeah I just wanted to say that.

Love ya'll❤