......I am strong.

I keep chanting the same words as I drive back home.

On reaching the garage of my apartment, I can't help but think how ironical my life is. Charlotte Gray. A girl I wanted to torture so bad that she left the school, that she lost the fire in her to fight back, to never stoop down my level. That very girl derived her inspiration to live, the fire to never bear torture ,from me. Funny! Not.

I shake my head to rid myself of such thoughts. I park the car and exit it. I then take the elevator to the 5th floor of the building. On reaching my floor I exit the elevator and walk towards my flat. I find him leaning against the wall. On seeing me, he grins and straightens up giving me a mock salute.

"Hey Julie!"

"Hi Landon!"

I unlock the door and we both enter. Almost immediately I realize how lonely I am. Save for Landon no one has ever visited me, not even Emily.

How could they? You never allowed anyone. Now did you?

No. But I have my reasons.

Then you can't expect anyone to visit you.

I guess it is tr.....

"Earth to Julie! Julia! JuLIA! JULIA!"

"God Landon! Do you plan on causing permanent damage to my ears?"

He narrows his eyes at me and then looks at his watch and then back at me. I roll my eyes at his antiques. Idiot!

"Two minutes, Julie! Two minutes! That's how long we are here and we both are still dressed fully. Are you sick or something? Your voice was sounding hoarse and now this. What happ......"

I cut him off saying, "Are you saying all I think is sex?" He looks at me, shakes his head and replies,"I don't mean that. I mean we begin talking after the deed. But seriously Julia, what happened? "

I ignore him and lunge at him. He catches me with ease as we share heated moments. Kissing we pour all our anger, frustration,
disappointment into it. He moans so loud that it would have made me smile if it was any other time. But right now I can't manage to smile.

I am used to role playing for my partner during the deed but only Landon returns the favor. We both know who the other imagines their partner to be. Today I can't imagine him. It hurts. A lot. I feel numb so I simply let him take control and fulfill his desires.
I don't say anything when he cages me against the wall.
I don't say anything when he carries me up to the guest room.
I don't say anything when he throws me on the bed.

Suddenly he pulls away and says, "Julia I heard what Francis did." I look away. He holds my chin between his right index finger and thumb. Then with a soft smile he says,"Julia, after you cut the call Clark had called me. He told me everything. I kept on asking you because I wanted to know from you. I am not pitying you or something. As your friend I want to help. I am here for you today and nothing else. If I touch you then it will be as Landon to Julia. No Mel. No France. OK. If you want to just talk I am okay with that too. The choice is yours Julie." His earnest eyes state that he isn't bluffing. "Why is everyone wanting to help me today?!" I grumble. He grins and asks wiggling his eyebrows,"So?" "Do you have to even ask?" Then with a smirk I reply "Give it to me, babe."

And he does so.

***************
"Tring! Trinnggg! Triinnnggggg! Trriiinnnngggg!" the alarm blares. I pat the the bedside table in an attempt to switch it off. I yawn and rub my eyes. Then I turn to my right to find Landon still sleeping. I turn my body completely and place my head on my propped up elbow. I take him in completely.

Same eight-pack abs.

Same panty-dropping smirk.

Same mischievous smile that warms the heart when softens.

Same dark brown eyes, that are now covered with his eyelids.

So similar yet so different.

Francis and Landon aren't twins but....they are resemblance in some things are really twin-like. But there are few major differences, like their last name and grades. And also reputation.

Francis' habit of sleeping around gave him the reputation of a hot bad boy. On the other hand, Landon's habit to do so gave him the reputation of a pervert. Where Francis sad eyes are considered to mean that he is misunderstood and hurt, there Landon's sad eyes are considered to be result of a night with an inexperienced girl. Where everyone wants to solve the enigma that Francis Johansen is, there Landon Fleming is considered to be not worthy of a second glance unless for checking him out or flirting with him. Where Francis could demand fresh girls as if they are commodities there Landon has to be okay with his hand-me-down.

I run my hands through Landon's hair ruffling them softly. Sure Francis has stopped sleeping around but his reputation still follows him. He thinks I don't know him and the world thinks I don't know both him and Landon on an emotionally intimate level to judge them but.........I do. I know the reason why who is how they are! Landon is my friend and all we feel or will ever feel towards each other is purely friendship. Though our tangled limbs and the messed up guest room might say something else but even this is just a friend helping another friend to cope up with a tragedy. I place a soft kiss on his forehead and whisper ,"Landon! Landon! Wake up, Lan!" "Five minutes!" he moans. I don't say anything and stare at him some more. Last night all food was forgotten as he helped me try to get over Francis. I can't say I am over Francis. Gosh! I doubt I will ever be completely over him! But I am finally trying....

"Staring is rude, Julie!" Lan mumbles as he turns to face me with his head placed on his propped up elbow.
"I know, I am thinking Lan."
"Whose relationship's funeral are you planning? Or wait! A new student joined right?"
"Lan! I don't always think all this!" I say with a pout. He grins,"I know. Hey Julie can I ask you something? " I nod absentmindedly. He hesitates at first making me look at him then,"Do you think she will like me back?" He bites his lips as he waits for me to answer him. I nod and then say,"As much as I know her, Melinoe is infatuated with Austin. She is not in love. Trust me from my own experience I am saying that it is only for sometime that a person can remain infatuated with another if the feelings aren't mutual. I loved Francis, who proposed Charlotte yesterday, and today itself I am talking in the past tense. Austin and Candace are dating for quite a few days now, I doubt Mel is infatuated with him anymore. I suggest you try to woo her. Your relationship will go a little backwards, you know first sex and then feelings but it's okay I guess. " Landon nods contemplating my words. He tilts his head upwards facing the ceiling. He then lets out a loud frustrated scream. I cover my ears. Turning to me he asks, "And what will I tell her about my living arrangements? That I sleep around so I can get a roof on my head for the night? That I don't while away the money I borrow but I try to multiply them by gambling so as to earn a living? That I would have to spend most of my nights in the streets if you don't let me stay here? That my I-am-a-pervert-and-an-absolute-jerk facade is my defense mechanism? Why will she ever like someone like me?" A sob escapes his lips and he turns to face the other side to hide his tears from me. I ruffle his hair to comfort him as I hug him from the back. "Shh Lan! It's okay. I am here. I have an idea just look at me." He shakes his head stubbornly. "Lan! Listen to me please!" He slowly turns around and I suggest with a megawatt smile,"You can tell her you are my flatmate. Your things are here and the guestroom is basically your room so it isn't a complete lie and thus easily believable." He looks at me with hopeful eyes and I nod at him with a smile. He then looks away and says,"But Julie I can't pay the rent. And lets be honest I know you never do anything for free. Up till now I could comfort you but if Mel really gives me a chance I will not cheat her so......."

Slap!

He sits up with a jolt clutching his right cheek that now has a light outline of my left hand. I sit up too breathing heavily. "What the hell, Julie?" he asks with wide eyes. "What the hell? What the hell? You are asking me what the hell? Do you know how your whole 'I-could-comfort-you-up-till-now' sounded?" I made air quotes while quoting him. Before he can say anything I continue, "It sounds like I help you only for your body! You know that is not true! I have a soft spot for you because I know your damn situation. But no. Julia Archer can never help anyone out of goodness that is Charlotte and Emily's work. Right?! This is why I never help anyone. If you ever date Mel you think I will still approach you? You mean to say I sleep with Kevin too?! Landon, Emily and Melinoe are my life, they are my best friends I will never do any such thing with either of them." I say as I try to keep my tears at bay. I don't know why I snapped at Lan. Probably the ever correct Charlotte Gray is wrong for once. I am not strong. I am not strong. Lan looks a little scared at my outburst as he tries to hug me but I shrug his hands off. "I am sorry, Julie. I didn't mean to hurt you. I am really sorry. See this is one of the many reasons I know she will reject me. I can't talk to you properly without hurting you even when all you are doing is trying to help. I don't know what will I say when I see her latching on to some other male's hand. I am hopeless Julie. But I am really sorry." Sighing I turn back to him as I hug him patting his back. I reply,"You are not hopeless Lan. I just have a lot in my mind. Don't worry about the rent. I will pay it. You keep an account and I will too then you can pay me in instalments after you get a stable job okay? Anyway my parents have a lot of money and they are paying so it doesn't matter. " I feel him sigh and then nod,"Thanks Julie. And sorry for being a jerk." I pull back and grin at him.

I can't be mad at him for long. Our conditions are similar, his parents died when he was very young and my parents never support me. I know it might feel that they shouldn't be supporting me and the kind of life I lead but it was their fault too that I turned out like this. The bluff I fed Lan about my parents paying the rent was something I tell Emily too. But only I know who pays what.

*****************

Both of us get ready and enter my car. As we speed off to the school I tell him, "Knowing Mel she will jump you the moment you ask her out for a date but refrain from touching her and go for a normal dinner date. She prefers homemade to restaurant food. I will teach how to make some. And....." "How do you even know to cook? You always have protein powder or salad and water. Even today you had just the protein powder. So how do you cook so well?" I smile and say ,"I use to cook for my Dad. Okay now back to the point. So as I was saying, go for a normal date ,compliment her and you know the usual. But don't touch her. Holding hands is okay but if possible refrain from touching her at all. Ask Emily other nitty-gritty details, she knows better. You know! If you both start dating, then she will probably take you in. She will not let you share a flat with me. Not after all our PDA." We both smirk at each other. A silent sign that we are to do that in front Mel to make her jealous when the right time comes.

We reach school and exit my car. Nobody bothers, me and Landon entering the school together is nothing new. As we walk towards the school a strong hand grips my shoulder forcing me to stop. I turn around to see who dared stop me. I turn around and come face to face with..."Hey Emily." She glares at me.........

************************************

Hey buttercups so a new chapter is up. I hope you like this chapter. It informs us that Julia is not that horrible, she is human too. Comment what you think about Landon. I am already working on a new chapter there is a chance that a new chapter might be updated as a compensation for the delay. I can't promise though. Until then

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💞💋💞 Reina.