jaemin thought for long the next hours.

he felt both confused and overwhelmed.

heck, he also felt mad, happy, sad and stupid.

his head was a mix of emotions, and his heart a mix of feelings.

so, donghyuck liked him?

that was the reason behind the kiss?

"goddamn..." jaemin muttered, massaging his temples. "this is driving me mad..."

jaemin was completely losing his mind.

and this was partly donghyuck's fault.

how could the demon voice his feelings out in such a situation?

well, actually, how could the demon have feelings for someone who intended killing him more than twice!

jaemin knows very well that when he becomes NA, he has no power over his body.

he knows that if NA wants to kill donghyuck, he can do it.

he knows that NA is a merciless and heartless murderer.

but jaemin isn't like that.

jaemin wouldn't want donghyuck to be harmed.

but jaemin didn't have power over NA.

and it seemed like donghyuck didn't have anymore...

well...

that's what he was saying.

but jaemin didn't have the same thought on that matter.

jaemin recalled every single time 'he' almost killed donghyuck.

he could see the fright in his eyes, the quivering of his lips and the panic over his face.

however, jaemin – or NA – never managed to kill him.

that was something weird.

NA killed to live.

NA never missed his shot.

NA always ended his victims.

harming people didn't interested him.

NA wanted to kill. anyone and everyone.

so, how can he explain that donghyuck is still alive?

the demon had appeared at every of his kills, trying to stop him.

but NA never managed to actually kill him.

why?

jaemin showed up before he could.

but there was something important there.

jaemin never showed up on his own.

sure, NA appeared once triggered.

but it wasn't the same for jaemin.

jaemin reappeared when NA was done.

and then, how could he explain that jaemin always appeared when NA was about to kill donghyuck?

jaemin knew why.

it's because donghyuck still has power over NA.

way more power than he thinks he has actually.

sure, he may not be able to use his supernatural force over the human.

but he had something way stronger than any supernatural power.

feelings.

and more than just feelings, love.

and as much as jaemin hated to think this way, this meant that jaemin also had it in him.

otherwise, why would jaemin have appeared when NA tried strangling donghyuck to death and the demon cried? why would he have appeared when donghyuck kissed NA that was about to kill him?

everything made sense.

jaemin and donghyuck were linked.

donghyuck made jaemin appear whenever NA took control of his body.

donghyuck had so much power over the boy...

"could i have fallen for him too...?"

𝙽𝙰

jaemin was in literature class, at his usual seat, next to mina.

he was looking at her side profile as she studied the text their teacher had handed out.

something felt off.

a few weeks ago, jaemin was sure of it.

he had feeling for mina.

he liked her.

but now, he couldn't affirm this anymore.

since donghyuck had voiced his feelings out a few days prior, jaemin had been feeling different.

not only had he realised that donghyuck and him were more linked that he thought, but he also realised that he might have feelings for the demon.

the only thing that prevented him to think that way until the was his potential feelings for mina.

he had been attached to her since the beginning of the year, thinking that maybe they could become a couple one day.

but seeing her right now, working on some literature while he thought about everything that happened to him these past weeks made him doubt.

in fact, it made him realised that it wasn't love.

of course, it wasn't.

it was like adoration, want, neediness...

but not love.

jaemin had never had any type of loving relationship.

his parents had left him two years before, and since then, his vision of love had deteriorated.

developing feelings for mina had been a way to reassure himself.

some way to prove that he still had the capacity to love.

even if he had forced himself to like her without realising it.

"jaemin?" the girl asked in a hushed whisper.

"yeah?" the boy replied on the same tone.

"did you and your demon make up?" she asked, catching jaemin off-guard.

he didn't expect her to ask about donghyuck.

well, he didn't really want to talk about him at the moment.

they still hadn't talked since the demon had said he had feelings for him.

jaemin really hoped things would become normal again.

but it didn't seem like donghyuck wanted that...

"well..." jaemin smiled sheepishly. "it's a bit better..."

"good." mina smiled. "i hated seeing you sad." she added before concentrating again on her paperwork.

jaemin sighed, looking blankly at the text.

mina was getting interested in him.

she was trying to get closer, asking about more private matters than usual.

and she wanted jamein happy.

sure, any friend would want that, but jaemin was sure that there was something more behind mina's words.

these days, she had been complimenting him more, throwing little smiles, clinging to him.

the jaemin of a few weeks prior would have felt absolutely heavenly.

but sadly, the present jaemin wasn't as impacted as he would have been.

this made him feel bad.

he used to like – let's keep it that way – mina while she wasn't that interested in him.

and now that he had realised he wasn't that interested, she started showing interest in him.

jaemin hated the fact that he could need to break her heart.

she was a really beautiful and kind girl.

she deserved the best.

"na jaemin." the stern voice of the teacher interrupted his deep thinking. "i hope my class isn't too boring for you?" she raised a brow, making all the class turn around and look at a confused jaemin.

"huh... no." he smiled shyly. "i was looking for the name of this figure of speech."

"sure..." the teacher nodded, knowing perfectly that it was a lie. "concentrate please."

"yes madam."

jaemin focused on the text again, making sure to push his thoughts away not to get distracted another time.

however, a small chuckle coming from beside him made him turn his head.

"are you laughing at me?" he asked with an eyebrow raised at mina.

"you were cute." she giggled.

jaemin rolled his eyes playfully before looking back at the text.

he was interrupted by the girl once again.

"hey, i discovered something." she whispered.

"tell me."

"your surname is na, just like the serial killer."

jaemin's eyes widened as he forced a smile.

"huh... yeah... curious right...?"

"very." she nodded.

jaemin tried concentrating again, but she spoke one last time.

"it's crazy how such a pure boy and a mad psychopath can have the same name."

crazy indeed...