jaemin emptied the content of his stomach in the toilet bowl.

he had been feeling sick in his stomach since they had come back from the lab, but he couldn't hold it in anymore.

jaemin knelt in front of the toilet bowl, his arms holing the toilet seat tightly as he vomited every ounce of food that was in his body.

and even when he thought having nothing more, he kept vomiting bitter bile.

it really was the worst feeling ever.

"jaemin..."

donghyuck knelt next to the human, rubbing his back with his palm as the younger kept throwing up while sobbing.

donghyuck stood up again, heading to the kitchen to grab a glass of water for the boy to drink.

by the time he came back, jaemin was sitting on the floor, his back resting against the toilet seat, crying hot tears.

donghyuck flushed the toilet before crouching in front of jaemin.

"have a glass of water." he said, handing him the glass; but jaemin shook his head. "you need to..."

jaemin reluctantly grabbed the glass of water with a shaky hand, bringing it to his lips to take a sip.

he gave it back to donghyuck right after, and the demon placed it on the sink.

"let's go to bed." donghyuck said, helping jaemin standing up.

the younger was weak.

his muscles were exhausted, his thigh was hurting, and his body was trembling.

donghyuck decided to lift him up, which he did, allowing the crying male to hide his face in his chest.

the demon delicately placed the human inside his bed, sitting by his side after.

jaemin was still a sobbing mess.

his cheeks were red, his eyes were puffy, and his breathing was ravaged.

"shh..." donghyuck whispered, running one of his hands in jaemin's hair. "stop crying..."

"d-d-donghyuck..." jaemin sniffled. "i-i c-can't..."

"of course, you can, jaemin..."

"i killed people!" jaemin yelled, startling the demon who then tightened his embrace around the boy.

"you often do... it's something usual for you..."

jaemin cried even harder in donghyuck's chest.

he may hate this demon; he was in a way too weak state to let go of him.

it's as if he needed him at the moment.

it was a strange feeling.

but having the demon he hated with his arms around his frail body made him feel warm.

it even made him feel secure.

as if nothing bad could happen to him anymore.

"it's something usual for NA..." jaemin told after a while, when his sobs had died down. "i am not NA..."

"you may not be NA... but he is jaemin..." donghyuck whispered.

"that's why i hate myself."

donghyuck didn't answer.

he only tightened the embrace around jaemin's body.

he was his guardian demon.

he was supposed to take care of his life.

he was supposed to keep him alive and happy.

why did he had to be assigned to a broken boy?

"you shouldn't hate yourself." donghyuck stated.

"should i love myself instead?" jaemin snorted. "nothing is right inside me..."

"it's not that..." donghyuck sighed. "you've just been traumatized. and this caused you to become NA..."

"traumas don't fly away in a snap of fingers..."

donghyuck approved.

jaemin was right.

he was broken, and he will forever be.

you can't make a trauma disappear this easily.

and even less if it's a trauma that influences your whole life...

and in jaemin's case, it was.

donghyuck knew that the boy had lost his parents.

he also knew that it was a demon who killed them.

but he knew nothing more.

this was surely why the human hated donghyuck at first.

in fact, he still did.

but he needed the demon at the moment.

he needed someone to hold, someone to cuddle.

and his parents weren't there anymore for him.

sadly, he needed to replace them.

and donghyuck's warm and comfortable embrace reminded him of his mom's.

that was what prevented jaemin from pushing away the demon.

he felt too good with him.

and as much as he hated it, he couldn't deny it.

"thank you..."

donghyuck lowered his gaze, looking at the sad boy that was looking up at him with a pout.

had he just thanked him?

but for what?

"why...?"

"for being here for me." jaemin replied in all honesty. "who knows what i would have become if you hadn't been there for me..."

jaemin let his thoughts imagine a world in which the demon wouldn't exist.

he imagined being discovered by the police right away because of his carelessness, and because of the fact he never makes the traces of his passage disappear after he kills someone.

he imagined killing even more people, and having no one to comfort him.

he imagined being alone.

but he didn't want to be.

"it's normal." donghyuck replied. "that's what i am supposed to do."

"are you doing this just because you're asked to?"

donghyuck was a bit taken aback by jaemin's question.

the immediate answer would be YES.

donghyuck was a demon.

it was in his nature to help his human, whether he likes it or not.

but, the more donghyuck thought about it, the more the answer tended to be NO.

observing jaemin had taught him two things:

first, jaemin was broken, and needed someone.

and second, donghyuck was perfect for that, because he knew how to tame him with his powers.

did donghyuck take a liking to the human?

kind of.

they had compatible personalities.

that's why they had been assigned to each other.

and that's why donghyuck wanted to help this boy, and save him from his traumas.

"i'm doing it because i want you to feel better." donghyuck replied sincerely.

"why...?"

"because whether you like it or not, we're linked, and seeing my human suffering make me suffer too."donghyuck explained calmly.

"so, you're doing this for your own good." jaemin told.

donghyuck looked down at the boy whose eyes were watery.

he pulled the boy even closer to his chest, resting his chin on top of the boy's head.

"stop seeing the negative in life jaemin." donghyuck said. "we may not have had the best first encounters, but i genuinely care for you, and i hate seeing you suffer."

"easier said than done..." jamein mumbled. "you know, everything seems to be against you in life when you lost both of your parents."

donghyuck hummed in approval.

he wanted to know more.

he wanted to help jaemin.

but he was too scared that the boy wouldn't like to open this easily.

he could feel how jaemin slightly tried pushing him away each time donghyuck tightened his embrace.

he could see jaemin looking away each time their eyes would meet.

he knew jaemin wasn't found of him.

but he had to do with...

"when was it?" donghyuck asked, not knowing how jaemin would take it.

"when was what?"

"your parents' death..."

jaemin took a deep breath.

the scene flashing in his memory once again.

haunting him.

"two years ago."

donghyuck gulped at the coldness of the other's tone.

"you don't need to tell me..." he said quickly.

"what do i have to lose...?" jaemin sighed, inching closer to donghyuck. "as you said, we're linked, and my sufferings make you suffer too. i guess having you knowing what causes these sufferings could help..."

donghyuck didn't answer.

he let his hands rubs jaemin's back as the boy took deep breaths.

"a demon killed them. in front of my eyes. he did it at night, in the street. i don't know why he didn't kill me too..." jaemin spoke slowly and low. "he tore their bodies open, making some blood spill everywhere. the road got painted red, the surroundings got painted red, their bodies got painted red. and i was just staring at them, dying because of some mad demon..."

donghyuck gulped. "i-i-i'm... sorry..."

"i am too." jaemin replied. "if only i had closed my eyes. if only i hadn't been this immersed in this horrific spectacle... maybe i wouldn't have become like this demon. a mad man that kills innocent people."

"but you're not- "

"i am like him." jaemin cut donghyuck. "he made me like that. he traumatized me. he made me mad. everything is because of him."

donghyuck stayed silent as jamein started crying again, remembering every of his past kills.

the demon held him tighter, thinking about the times he had witnessed jaemin killing innocent people.

that wasn't jaemin.

jaemin was someone pure.

NA was haunting him, and preventing him to be who he really was.

"jaemin." donghyuck placed a hand under the crying boy's chin, lifting it up to look at him in the eye. "we'll find this demon, jaemin. i promise. we'll find him, and we'll get rid of him..."