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Taehyung

"Wow, Amanda! It's so refreshing to see you using your phone so much. Is something brewing?" My curiosity got the better of me since her phone had been literally stuck to her hands since the first lecture started this morning.

It was lunchtime already, and she was still checking out her texts and typing frantically, with a silly smile on her face. It was surprising because she was someone who never used her phone much.

The question that I asked earlier didn't even enter her ears.

"Mandy?" I pinched her arm.

"Ouch! What's it?" She rubbed her arm, throwing angry looks at me.

"What's keeping you so busy? I'm bored. Talk to me," I whined.

"Some of my school friends have created a new group chat, and they're adding more friends. This GC was created last night, and this morning when I woke up, there were more than 2000 messages. Can you believe it? I couldn't even read everything!" She laughed, almost bouncing in her seat excitedly while not bothering about the wind that was messing up her hair.

"You don't have to read everything, do you?" I swung my legs beneath me and looked around, bored to hell.

Again, that didn't fall into her ears. She was experiencing partial sensorineural hearing loss, also known as selective deafness. I couldn't tolerate the stupid giggles and constant texting, which was all so new to me after being around her for more than a year. Whenever we were together, she would always have eyes only for me, irrespective of whether we were in bed or somewhere else. And this new habit of hers was already ruining it for me.

"So, what's the discussion about?" I asked, hoping to make myself a part of whatever she was doing.

"We're talking about having a high school reunion very soon. I'm so excited," she squealed.

'Now what did I say about selective deafness? She just proved it.'

I hummed carelessly. "Sounds like fun..."

Internally wondering if there could be anything more boring.

Deaf again.

"Jungkook got selected to play for the college basketball team. He just texted a while ago." I interrupted once again.

"Mhmmm... how come he never told me?" She asked, her eyes still glued to her phone screen.

I peeped in and saw the messages flying by at full speed.

'Wow, how jobless her friends must be!'

A few minutes passed, and I was plotting plans within my mind to steal her away from that stupid GC that was keeping her attention away from me.

"Mandy," I pulled on the sleeve of her shirt, and she let out a long, careless hum without looking at me. "We have just one lecture left for today. Can we go home?" I placed my hand on her clothed thigh and stroked gently yet firmly enough to send out the right signals.

She sighed and put her phone aside, turning to look at me.

"We just had sex yesterday, and you want it again today? What vitamins are you taking, Taehyung?" She tilted her head to the side and cast a questioning look at me.

"I mean, we don't have anything else to do, right? Might as well have sex," I shrugged, squeezing her thigh lightly.

"Not today, Taehyung. Let's keep it for Friday," she got back to texting her friends.

"But today is Tuesday and Friday is three days away. That's a lot of time in between," I protested and turned around to sit down facing her.

"Ahh, come on! Why are you so whiny today? If one of us is not in the mood, we don't do it right?" Amanda spoke in a slightly irritated tone yet with a small tight-lipped smile that had a hint of sarcasm to it.

I nodded.

"But I'm never not in the mood. Only you keep turning down my requests."

Amanda let out an amused chuckle and nodded dramatically.

"Yeah? Yeah, I do. When I'm on my period or during the weekends when my mom is at home or when we have an exam the next day. Even so, we did it the evening before the pathology clinicals last semester. And you're still complaining that I turn you down?" She crossed her arms under her chest and sat facing me.

The wind was blowing softly and sending the ringlets flying to her face, obscuring her beautiful eyes that demanded an explanation for my stupid accusation. She kept moving her curls away with her slender fingers.

"I'm sorry," I apologized and got up, dusting the back of my pants.

"You're already leaving?" Her eyes lifted to look at me as she asked me softly.

"Yeah," I nodded. "I'm going home." I walked away, still hoping that she would call me back or join me in going home.

Nothing happened, and I headed straight to where my car was parked. Before I got into the driver's seat, I side-glanced and saw that Amanda was already walking back towards the lecture hall.

'I don't know why I feel like I want to keep her all to myself. No, we don't have any sort of romantic relationship yet. We have never kissed—not even once. We don't cuddle after sex, and we don't even hold hands while we're not having sex. It is just a plain physical relationship where we both just have meaningless sex and keep exploring more about ourselves—our bodies to be precise.'

'I'm sure it is just that to her, but I find myself getting obsessed with everything about her and slowly getting addicted to her presence around me. I sometimes wonder if I'm just being a jerk and using her to fill in the loneliness in my life. My feelings right now are complicated.'

On my way home, I stopped at my grandma's favorite restaurant and ordered tteokbokki. Not wanting to stay alone at home, I ate my food slowly and checked out every woman who walked past me, hoping to take my mind off her. Strangely, I was comparing everyone with Amanda, and the feeling that I was experiencing was entirely new to me. For the first time, thinking about her aroused not just my lower half, but I also felt a strange clenching within my chest, and it felt nice.

༺───※ ·❆· ※───༻

May 11, 2021

"Does it hurt here?" I gently pressed down using two fingers on the left side of the little girl's abdomen, and she shook her head with a soft 'no'.

"Can I show you something?" I asked her, and she nodded softly.

I untucked my shirt and lifted it slightly to show her my small surgical wound on the lower right side of my abdomen from my appendectomy many years ago.

"Do you see this?" I pointed to the scar, looking at her, and she nodded lightly.

"Yeah. You have a booboo, too" She pouted sadly.

"Yeah, I do. I got it when I was your age, and now I'm doing all good, right?"

She nodded again. "Can I touch it?"

I agreed with a smile, and she touched the scar very tenderly with one tiny finger.

"Does it hurt now?"

"Absolutely, not. I almost forgot that it's still there," I chuckled and tucked my shirt back in when there was a knock at the door.

My eyes lifted from the girl on the bed to the door that opened just a bit, letting my gorgeous wife step in with the brightest smile on her lips.

"Dr. Kim, hello!" She waved to me as if we were strangers.

I played along and waved back at her.

"Hello, Dr. Amanda! Come in," I gestured for her to enter, and she walked in closing the door behind her; her heels clacking softly against the cold tiles.

When she came closer, the little girl's mother gave us concerned looks.

"This is Dr. Amanda. She works here as a dermatologist and cosmetologist..." I grabbed her bicep, pulling her closer to me with a proud smile. "And she also happens to be my wife."

"Oh! So nice to meet you, Dr. Amanda!" Exclaimed the little girl's mother.

"Nice to meet you, too!" My wife bowed to her. "Dr. Kim was talking about your daughter, and I asked him if I could meet her. So that's why I came here now," Amanda turned to the little girl on the bed. "How are you feeling now, honey?"

"I'm feeling good," she smiled big at my wife.

Amanda smiled and gently stroked the girl's head.

"That's so good to hear. Why do I feel that we look a lot like each other?" My wife wiggled her eyebrows at the girl, and she giggled, closing her mouth with her hands.

"I like your hair," the girl pointed to my wife's hair, and Amanda nodded.

"I like your hair too, princess."

"I told you," I chuckled, wrapping an arm around my wife's shoulder.

"So you take your medicines and rest well and be a sweet baby. Dr. Kim will send you back home very soon. Sounds good?" Amanda leaned forward and asked her, and she showed thumbs up.

"Good girl. We'll see you later then!" I said, and we bowed to the girl's mom, leaving the room thereafter.

Once outside, I wrapped my arm around Amanda's waist and walked her towards the Neonatal ICU.

"Where's Dr. Sehun? You're doing your rounds all alone?" She asked me.

"Sehun is coming in late today. Mandy, I want you to meet someone," I stopped walking and so did she.

"Mhm? Who's it?"

"A very tiny person. In there," I pointed to the NICU door and Amanda nodded excitedly.

After sanitizing our hands and wearing protective head covers and gloves, my wife and I stepped into the NICU. I instructed the nurses to wait outside, and they obeyed at once.

Walking her up to the incubator in a corner, I held her shoulder firmly and pointed at the baby with my other hand. Amanda's eyes glistened with unshed tears the moment she spotted the frail body of the little human that was sleeping peacefully and snoring softly inside the glass walls of the incubator, dwarfed by all the huge monitors surrounding her.

"Preemie?" She asked softly while she blinked rapidly to fight her tears that threatened to fall.

"Yeah, 35 weeks," I gently squeezed her shoulder as she placed her hands on the wall of the incubator.

I quickly glanced at the monitors and ensured that the baby's vitals were all normal.

"Do you want to hold the baby?" I asked, and she turned to look at me.

"Can I?" Her soft whisper was followed by a low wail from inside the incubator.

The baby had woken up and was squirming and stretching her tiny limbs while trying hard to open her eyes and raise her voice demanding a feed.

The nurse knocked and peeped in from the doorway, and I gestured to her to bring the baby's milk. Since the mother, Yu-Mi, wasn't lactating yet, the baby was kept on bottles, and a few minutes later, when the baby was fully awake, the nurse came in with a small bottle of formula milk.

She gently opened the incubator door and carefully lifted the baby out of it after disconnecting the tiny vital monitor probes stuck on the baby's body.

"Can I do it?" Asked my wife eagerly.

The nurse agreed gladly and handed the baby to Amanda who had seated herself in the feeding chair by the foot of the incubator. She was no amateur in holding a newborn; in fact, she had assisted a lot more deliveries during our resident year than I have done in my entire career.

I watched as she snuggled the baby close to her chest and very carefully tilted the bottle towards the baby's tender lips and teased it with the tip of the bottle's nipple. Soon enough, the newborn latched on to it and began drinking, emitting a soft gulp sound each time she swallowed. She held tight on to my wife's hair in one hand and her coat in her other hand. I chuckled softly and stood watching how my wife lovingly cradled the baby in her arms and watched the little one slowly drift off to sleep as the bottle was gradually emptied.

Handing over the empty bottle to the nurse, Amanda carefully laid the baby over her shoulder and slowly stroked the baby's back and bottom, and then we heard a satisfied burp. The nurse cleaned up the baby's mouth with a small washcloth and took her from my wife's shoulder and back to the confines of the incubator, where she would remain for at least three more weeks.

Giving one last backward glance at the incubator, Amanda and I left the NICU. There was complete silence surrounding us, and though we both have seen and been around babies very often, and I meet and handle them at work every day, yet today was cathartic. I felt a new awakening within me—the need to have my own kids, the desire to see my wife giving birth to our babies, lots of them; the need to experience a different sort of love from the lives that we bring into the world.

Yes, I want to be a father and have a family full of children with my wife, Amanda.

I didn't know what was on her mind, yet she had never become so emotional while being around a newborn in a NICU. During her resident year, she had even been posted on duty at the NICU for an entire week and never once had she shed tears seeing the tiny little, totally dependent lives. The fact that she was so emotional today gave me hope that she was having the same thoughts as I was. I will talk to her about it very soon.

 
Amanda

"I'll see you later, gorgeous," Taehyung kissed my cheek. "Oh wait. Your phone is here," he pulled out my phone from his trouser pocket when it was buzzing with incoming texts.

I walked into my consulting room and settled down in my chair, and Taehyung followed me.

"Who is it?" I asked, referring to the incoming texts.

"I don't know. You check," he extended his hand holding the phone, and I tilted my head to the side.

"Since when? You know my phone is not just mine, and you can read everything that's there," I reiterated the fact and leaned back in my seat.

He plopped down on the chair, unlocked my phone and began scrolling through the texts.

"Useless school group chat," he shook his head. "Sooya has sent some photos of...oops. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't look," he shut his eyes tight and reopened them after a while, and I burst out laughing.

He continued scrolling through the texts.

"And there's a text from your mom...aaaannnddd...hmm.. What does Yoongi have to say?" I watched as his eyebrows furrowed while reading what were apparently Yoongi's messages. And then my eyes widened in realization.

"You knew it?" His eyes lifted to meet mine as I uneasily shifted in my seat.

"Knew what?" I tried to play cool.

"Smart, huh? You knew that Namjoon would be taking over the hospital?" His tone was cold, stern and demanding.

Unable to look into his eyes, I looked away and swallowed hard.

"I did," I lowered my gaze, nodding.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me then?" He tossed my phone on the table, sounding frustrated and angry.

But before I could say another word, Taehyung got up and stormed out of my room.

Ah, fuck! MIN YOONGI!

So, Taehyung now knows what Amanda didn't tell him. Hmm...

And, the chapters in ENVY are my top favorites in this book.
😁

Published on : 10/08/2021