SVETLANA WAS AN expert at avoiding awkward situations. The first time she ever encountered somewhat of an awkward situation was when Nikolai almost kissed Alina and she walked in on them. They had cleared their throats and tried to excuse the situation but she simply pretended to not see a thing and address Nikolai with what she had come to talk to him about.

This was what she did when she awoke the new morning to find Matthias' gaze fixated on her. She avoided his eyes, gathered their things, and left the bag beside the tent where he'd pick it up.

They continued on their way, Nina fully aware of the way he'd focus ahead then turn to see Svetlana as she walked in step beside Jesper.

Jesper's eyes squinted, his sunkissed skin glowing with a sense of adventure and giddiness. Svetlana grew to learn his tells, and she knew he was about to start bantering.

"When I'm rich, I'm going somewhere I never have to see the snow again," he said, and Svetlana snorted from beside him. "I hear the Wandering Isle never gets snow. Or maybe Novyi Zem." Svetlana said, then muttered, "Novyi Zem is good all year 'round, except maybe for the summer. The Wandering Isle sounds better."

Jesper sent her a side glance, "Have you ever been to Novyi Zem?"

Svetlana shrugged, "Once, in the summer. It was an overall shit experience."

"And The Wandering Isle?"

"Next destination."

Jesper grinned at her, then turned to walk backward, "What will you do when you're rich, Wylan?"

Svetlana met his eyes with raised brows and a teasing smirk, he met her eyes and winked, a silent thought traveling between them.

Wylan's cheeks turned a pinch of pink, "I don't know exactly."

"I think you should buy a golden piano—"

"Flute." Both Wylan and Svetlana corrected the Zemini boy.

"And play concerts on a pleasure barge. You can park it in the canal right outside your father's house."

"Nina can sing," Inej added, a secretive smile being shared between the ladies of the group. Svetlana snickered.

"We'll duet," Nina grinned, "Your father will have to move."

Wylan turned to Svetlana, "You should join, we'll find you a violin to play," the brunette only grinned at him.

Throughout their journey, it was moments like these that Svetlana managed to cherish. It reminded her too much of Alina's bickering with Mal or Nikolai, Zoya's desire for everything to be set the way she wants it to be, Nadia and Tamar's flirtatious conversations, and Tolya's hours-long poetry recitation sessions.

The memory of the giant bloke of muscle brought a soft smile to her lips. Tolya may have been quite the force to be reckoned with, but he was her greatest friend within the Little Palace. From the moment they met aboard Sturmhond's ship until the moment she stepped out of the Palace with Sophia back to Ketterdam, he was one of the few people she truly relied on, and he helped show her that Grisha aren't just an accessory to war.

When she was younger, Svetlana believed Grisha's only purpose in Ravka was to be part of the army that defended Ravka against its enemies. And as she grew older she realized that the way she thought about Grisha was influenced purely by men in power.

To be completely honest, Svetlana couldn't care less what happened to Ravka as much as she cared about her fellow Grisha. She didn't share Zoya and Nikolai's ambitions of making Ravka a better and more evolved country. She only cared that the Grisha in the country and around the world receive their right to simply live and make something of themselves.

It's why she made Phoenix Bay, to make a safe haven for Grisha in Ketterdam, to protect them when they cannot protect themselves.

Svetlana wasn't a soldier, she wasn't superstitious, and she wasn't a zealot. She cared for her people enough to fight against what she went through so they wouldn't suffer the same fate.

She blinked once, the air around them ice cold as it brushed from between the seven of them, and she realized she'd zoned out for what must have been an hour or two. Nina was somewhere behind her trying to teach Inej some Fjerdan, and she was walking right behind Matthias.

He stopped suddenly, his eyes traveling from Svetlana's to Nina's as she tried to emphasize that the Fjerdan language was like gulls. "Do not eat the snow," he said, his voice loud and booming to reach all of their ears. "It will only dehydrate you and lower your body temperature." He said, then rushed to walk forward and up a hill.

With a sigh, Svetlana followed, wondering why the big man stopped at the rise of the hill, then he turned around and held out his arms. "Stop! You don't want to—"

But Svetlana was already next to him. His giant arm missed her eyesight and she could see exactly what made him halt in his steps.

Before them was a pyre built on a slight rise with rocks all around it, whoever built it tried to make the flames last, but the Fjerdan wind was ruthless, and the three stakes driven into the ground turned into coal, three charred bodies trapped onto each stake, their skin blackened and cracked, still smoldering.

For a split second, Svetlana almost heard her name being gasped in the wind. For half a moment, she thought she could see her reflection in one of the bodies. And then, the anger bubbling beneath her skin was smothered down as she rushed to the pyre. Someone called for her, and she felt the slight graze of someone's fingertips against her arm, but she was quick and smooth as she slid down the hill and towards what used to be honorable Griha.

Somewhere far behind her, she could hear Nina and Matthias arguing, throwing words around, but she kept her gaze locked on the bodies before her. One of them moved, and it croaked a moan. Svetlana's hand slammed against her mouth, now her eyes watered, and she struggled to find air to fill her lungs.

She was reminded that this is what happens to Grisha when they're captured by Fjerdan witch-hunters. She was reminded that this is what she was fighting against, this is what she was trying to put an end to. She can't do that sitting on a throne in a Palace somewhere in Ravka.

She had half the mind to use her Saints-given abilities to cut the poor creature's access to air, but that was far more ruthless than what it deserved. She turned to Inej, a hand extended and the Suli girl sent a silent prayer before placing a sharpened knife in her palm.

Svetlana turned to the body before her, Nina sobbing somewhere behind her, and she quickly pushed the knife into the crook of its neck. It choked for a moment, then gasped, "Thank you" as it released its final breath.

Svetlana turned to Matthias, eyes glistening and the blade soaked through with the creature's blood. She marched towards him and pressed the blade to his chest. "I hope you take pride in your brothers' actions."

Nina sobbed a thank you, then struggled to pull herself upward and off into the frozen land before them. Matthias met Svetlana's eyes, then followed after the Heartrender.

Svetlana walked their path but didn't get close to them. She could hear their argument, and so can the rest of the crew, but they didn't acknowledge it. Svetlana didn't want Nina to be alone with the Fjerdan, even if they were once lovers.

WATCHING NINA AND Matthias argue for a good hour reminded Svetlana of herself and Zoya during the war. She wondered if this is how the group she had been traveling with experienced whenever the two girls managed to disagree on something— which, thanks to Zoya's peculiar taste, was almost everything.

The group had been trying to locate the Firebird. It was Zoya, Svetlana, Alina, Mal, David, and a few other Grisha riding on one of Nikolai's flying ships that landed somewhere near Caryeva. They decided to continue their journey on foot and every time Svetlana pointed at something, Zoya would make a point to disagree with her— just because she can.

"I remember these," Svetlana gasped as she crouched beside a bush of berries. She had discarded her blue kefta with colorful embroidery on the ship and remained in the tunic and pants offered to her by Zoya. The girl in question stood a few feet behind her, her raven silky hair draped down her shoulders as she looked over Svetlana's shoulders, she had two strands from the side of her head tied together and a few hairs from her bangs going into her eyes. "I used to eat these a lot as a child."

Zoya made a noise as Svetlana popped one of the berries in her mouth, she scrunched her face in disgust, "That's probably poisonous. Maybe that's why you have such a lightweight head."

Svetlana sent her a lopsided grin, "Wanna kiss me and find out?" she had asked her, still chewing through the handful of berries she picked. Alina caught the rosy blush that graced her cheeks and neck and held it against her for the weeks to come.

Zoya pressed her lips together in a failed attempt to cover her shy smile and rolled her eyes, "You're lewd."

"You love me, Nazyalensky."

She shrugged, Svetlana's arms finding a way to wrap themselves around her shoulders. "Doesn't make you any less lewd."

Blinking, Svetlana was dragged back to reality when the ground below her shook from its depths. The rumble was so strong, she noticed Kaz holding onto his cane with furrowed brows.

"What the fuck is happening?" She asked, voicing the same question in everyone's minds.

"Are there fault lines this far north?" Wylan asked, and Matthias looked no further than a confused dog. "Not that I know of, but—"

A piece of the earth was plunged from the ground and floated up to the air in a quick whoosh right beside Matthias' feet. Another one came up from Nina's right. All around them, blobs of the ground came up and floated above them like the bars on a cage.

"Matthias, please tell me this isn't the works of your sacred Djel," Svetlana yelled as she jumped away from another blob coming out of where she was standing. Matthias sent her a glare that she missed, too busy trying to stay upright and avoid getting sent sprawling into the sky from whatever the fuck was happening to the earth.

"What the hell is happening?!" Jesper cried, his voice squealing.

"Some kind of earthquake!" Inej replied.

"Inej I know you've never really left Ketterdam but this is not what an earthquake looks like, darling!" Svetlana cried back, unable to stay upright anymore as she lowered herself to her knees.

"Look!" Nina pointed to a single black dot in the sky, seemingly unaffected by the whirling wind. "We're under attack."

Svetlana has come across many people with amplifiers before. She's never seen a Squaller fly, she's never seen a Tidemaker walk through solid matter, and she's never seen an Inferni manipulate hellfire. What she was witnessing now was the action of a Grisha under the influence of Jurda Parem.

The Squaller stirred in the air, turning the storm into a frenzy and sending pieces of sharp-edged ice flying toward them. They could barely see, each one of them trying so hard to maintain balance as they got pushed deeper within the circle of floating rocks. They were being pushed to make one single, easy target.

"I need a distraction!" shouted Jesper.

"Get down!" Wylan shouted back, and they flattened their chests to the ground, a deafening boom echoed from the sky. Svetlana looked up just in time to see the Squaller being thrown off course and forced himself to focus on righting himself. Jesper took his momentum distraction to aim his rifle and fire.

Jesper's single bullet sent an echo as it flew out of its chamber, and a moment later the Squaller was plummeting toward the earth he was just manipulating. Before he even hit the ground, another piece of ice hurtled at them.

Jesper aimed to between the trees and shot, but his bullet missed as the Grisha rammed a fist upwards and Svetlana watched as Jesper was thrown off his feet by a shaft of the earth. Jesper rolled on the ground and fired again, and a cry from the tree line told them that Jesper's aim was true.

As much as Svetlana wanted to step in and try to get them out of this situation, she knew exposing herself now would make the crew lose all the trust she spent weeks building up amongst them. She knew Jesper, Nina, or even Inej would know how to handle it and she doesn't need to use her abilities to bring down an already injured and overdosed Grisha.

Somewhere from behind her, she heard Inej whistle. She turned just in time to see her launch herself from Kaz's cupped hands on his knees into the air and then fall somewhere behind the treeline. A moment later, the earth was still.

"Trust the Wraith," Jesper gasped.

A moment of silence stretched between them after the chaos, and Svetlana was the first to release a breath.

"Wylan, get us out of here." Jesper panted.

The reddish-haired boy instructed them to get down after they managed to walk out of the enclosure the Squallers had pushed them into, and slapped an explosive on a slob then joined them.

Matthias and Jesper covered their ears, and Svetlana watched from beneath her arm as nothing happened. Jesper's lips curled then turned to Wylan, "Seriously?"

The slab exploded and pieces and bits of the earth and ice came down on their heads. Wylan looked up, he was covered in dust but carried a slightly dazed and deliriously happy look on his face. Nina snickered at him. "Try to look like you knew it would work."

Svetlana got up to her feet and stumbled away, the explosion threw her off balance as her ear rang. She held out a hand, trying to hold on to anything, and a massive arm came in contact with her and led her to where Inej was. Svetlana glanced upward only to find Matthias already looking at her, he wasn't holding her but she wasn't letting go. With a sigh, she pulled her hand away from him and sat beside Inej and the body of a trembling boy.

He wore clothes of olive drab and his eyes were glassy. It reminded her of the Tidemaker she had witnessed in Keetterdam. Blood spilled from the bullet wound left on him by Jesper, and a knife jutted from the right side of his chest from Inej. Svetlana knew he wasn't going to make it out of this.

"I need a little more," the Grisha mumbled, and Svetlana realized that Nina was kneeling beside them. "Just a little more."

Svetlana looked away from his paling face and sunken eyes, she met Nina's eyes as her lips pressed together. "He's on Parem." She whispered to her.

Nina's eyes filled with tears, and her eyes jerked down to the boy when he held her hand. "Nestor?" she called, and Svetlana's heart shattered as she realized that the Heartrender knew this boy.

Maybe he was in the Little Palace with her, maybe they studied side-by-side, maybe they were sent to Keramzin together. It's disturbing to see someone of your age die before your eyes, Svetlana knew all about that.

"Nestor, it's me, Nina." She almost sobbed, her tears trickling down her face.

"Please," he begged, his face falling. "I need more."

"We don't have anymore, Nestor," Svetlana whispered to the boy, her fingers fidgeting, as if she wanted to reach out and comfort him but is unable.

He sobbed, "Please."

"I can heal your wound, Nestor. If you stay still." Nina said, raising her hands to slow down his heartbeat. Svetlana laid a hand on her shoulder, "Save your energy, Nina. Look at him."

But the Heartrender refused, shaking her head as more tears fell down her cheeks. "No. No, there has to be something we can do, there has to be—" Svetlana sent a look up to Matthias, who silently crouched down beside Nina and pulled her away from the thrashing boy.

Nestor stood up, dragging behind him his wounded leg. His eyes were rimmed red, his skin pale and sweating, her limbs shivering. "Where are they?" he screamed, looking around the group. "Where did they go?"

"Who?" Svetlana asked, slowly walking closer to him.

"The Shu!" he cried, tears running down his face as his nose flared, "Where did they go? Come back!"

They watched as the boy wobbled on his feet, then fell face forward into the snow. He didn't move again.

Svetlana was frozen in her spot. The mention of the Shu shook her to her bones. Her eyes were wide as she stared at the dead boy, a Grisha just like her, one of her kind— one of her people. 

The same people she tried to fight for so they don't end up in the Shu's hands like she was.

With a shuttering realization of her failure, Svetlana's face dropped off every emotion she carried.

Where the Fjerdans took Grisha to imprison them and kill them, the Shu took Grisha to test and experiment on them. They wanted to discover the origin of their power and how to replicate it so that everyone could be equal to Grisha.

She was thirteen when she met her first Shu scientist. He seemed kind and gentle— until they had her strapped to a table hanging upside down with her wrists cut open as she bled freely into multiple buckets for them to collect.

If Svetlana had to choose between being taken hostage by Fjerdans or the Shu, she'd choose the Fjerdans any day. For even though they're brutal, she'd prefer to die with her honor still intact than to be cut into slithers to be tested upon again.

As she watched the Squaller and Nestor use up their energy to perform what can only be described as impossibilities, Svetlana realized just how dangerous this drug is. It doesn't just amplify a Grisha's power, it changes it completely. The Grisha practice Small Science. They manipulate the energy that is already there. With Parem, it makes them create energy from within themselves. Their power outgrows their bodies until they simply have enough and drop dead.

Svetlana blinked and heard Nina's confused voice. "I don't understand. If they have jurda parem, why go after Bo Yul-Bayur?"

Svetlana shrugged, "They want more. The Shu have always been greedy bastards."

Kaz sent her a glance, "It's possible they have a stash of it, but can't reproduce his process."

"Good. I hope they never do." Svetlana mumbled to herself.

"That's what the Merchant Council seemed to think. Or maybe they just want to make sure Yul-Bayur doesn't give the formula to anyone else."

"Do you think they'll use drugged Griha to break into the Ice Court?" Inej asked.

"If they have more of them." Kaz shrugged. "That's what I'd do."

Matthias shook his head. "If they'd had a Heartrender, we'd all be dead."

The idea made Svetlana shiver.

"Wylan earned his keep," Jesper said as she pulled his rifle around his shoulder. Wylan sent him a wide-eyed stare, "I did?"

"Well, you made a down payment."

Kaz rolled his eyes, "Let's move."

Svetlana spared one glace to Nestor and to the body of the Squaller, then turned. She halted in her steps when Nina held her wrist. "We need to bury them."

"The ground's too hard and we don't have the time. The Shu team is still moving toward Djerholm. We don't know how many other Grisha they may have, and Pekka's team could already be inside."

Nina glared. "We can't just leave them for the wolves."

"Do you want to build them a pyre?"

"Go fuck yourself." Svetlana hissed at the same time Nina growled, "Go to hell, Brekker."

"Do your jobs. I didn't bring you to Fjerda to perform funeral rites, Zenik."

Nina raised her hands, "How about I crack your skull open like a robin's egg?" Svetlana laid her hands upon Nina's, trying to lower them and calm her down.

Kaz smiled at her darkly, a devilish grin tugging at his lips as a glare so evil flamed up in his eyes. "You don't want a look at what's inside my head, Nina dear."

Nina took a step forward, and Svetlana pushed her back at the same time Matthias stepped in front of her. "You go. I'll help her bury them. We'll catch up." Svetlana offered.

"You'll get lost," Jesper said, raising a hand as if it's the most obvious thing ever.

With a huff, Svetlana ushered to the massive man in front of Nina. "We'll keep him as a guide. We'll be right behind you, it won't take long."

Kaz took a moment to glare at all of them equally, then fixated his eyes on Matthias. "Remember your pardon, Helvar."

They walked away, still chatting about Nina and Matthias. Svetlana gestured for the bag from off his shoulders and she dug through it for a shovel.

She pushed its pointy head to the icy ground and dug in, Nina gulped. "Here?"

Matthias, who had started matching Svetlana's pace, turned to her. "Did you want him elsewhere?"

"I... I don't know. It all looks the same to me." She was looking around her, trying to find a piece of the earth that wasn't covered in a white blanket of snow or ice. Svetlana looked up from where she was digging. "Nina, this is the best it's going to get. I'm sorry."

As she went back to digging, Matthias lifted his eyes off the ground. "You know our gods?"

"Some," Nina muttered, shrugging a shoulder.

"But you know Djel."

"The wellspring."

Matthias nodded at her, Svetlana barely keeping the rhythm of pushing the shovel into the ground, carrying some dirt, then throwing it out of the hole she was creating as she listened to their conversation. "The Fjerdans believe all the world is connected through its waters — the sea, the ice, the rivers and streams, the rain and storms. All feed Djel and are fed by him. When we die, we call it felöt-objer, taking root. We become as roots of the ash tree, drinking from Djel wherever we are laid."

Svetlana had stopped digging at some point, a churning thought passed her mind and she met Nina's eyes with a frown.

"Is that why you burn Grisha instead of burying them?" Nina asked, and it was the same question Svetlana carried. Her heart hung heavy, and she watched in solemn as Matthias gave one stiff nod.

She decided against speaking because if she started she doubted she'll be able to stop without revealing that she was Grisha. She resumed her work, and Nina spared her a glance as he continued to dig a grave for Nestor.

"You'll help us lay Nestor and the Squaller to rest here?" Nina asked in a small voice, and Svetlana only glanced up to see Matthias nod again.

It was the least he could do regardless.

Nina joined the two, trying and failing to pick at the ground. Then she shook her head, "Nestor shouldn't have been able to do that." she said, her lips pulled into a disturbed frown. "No Grisha can use power that way. It's all wrong."

Matthias remained silent, and Svetlana had cleared her mind of any thought just to listen to them. She watched his hold on the shovel in his hand tighten, his knuckles turned white. "Do you understand a little better now? What it's like to face a power so alien? To face an enemy with such unnatural strength?"

His words made Svetlana halt, and she was thankful that they paid her no mind. She remembers this story being told once before, of a girl born to a Grisha father and an otkazat'sya mother, a girl who can yield and manipulate shadows of darkness. Then again of the girl who can hold the sun in the palm of her hands. And years before that of the seemingly human creature that can manipulate all three orders of the Ethrealki Grisha.

Fearing the unknown was human nature, everyone knew that. Fearing the unknown in other people is what starts wars, massacres, and genocides. The unknown was all around them, in every country, city, village, and corner. When would the cycle of violence end? Would anyone ever find peace at any given point in their lives? Svetlana was exhausted.

"There were Grisha in Elling." Svetlana heard Nina murmur, and she resumed into their conversation as her arms continued their work on the grave.

Matthias halted mid-swing. "What?"

"They were spies doing reconnaissance work in the port. They saw me enter the main square with you and recognized me from the Little Palace. One of them recognized you, too, Matthias. He knew you from a skirmish near the border."

Nina's revelation made something stir within Matthias, Svetlana could see him understand why she did what she did the more she spoke.

"They waylaid me when you went to speak to the manager of the boarding house. I convinced them I was undercover, too. They wanted to take you prisoner, but I told them that you weren't alone, that it would be too risky to try to capture you right away. I promised I would bring you to them the next day."

Svetlana understood. Of course she did, she was seated with the big bosses in Ravka. She's seen exactly what Grisha do to captured Fjerdans. Let alone drüskelle. Matthias would have never seen the sun again.

"Why didn't you just tell me?"

Svetlana almost snorted. Nina threw down her pick. "Tell you there were Grisha spies in Elling? You might have made your peace with me, but you can't expect me to believe you wouldn't have revealed them."

Silence. And then— "That morning, on the docks—"

"I had to get us both away from Elling as fast as I could. I thought if I could just find us a vessel to stow away on... but the Grisha must have been watching the boarding house and seen us leave. When we showed up on the docks, I knew they were coming for you, Matthias. If they'd captured you, you would have been taken to Ravka, interrogated, and maybe executed. I spotted the Kerch trader. You know their laws on slaving."

"Of course I do," he said bitterly.

"I made the charge. I begged them to save me. I knew they'd have to take you into custody and bring us safely to Kerch. I didn't know— Matthias, I didn't know they'd throw you in Hellgate."

Svetlana shook her head, "What else did you expect?" she muttered, pulling both of them away from their conversation to see her. Svetlana looked up and met Nina's eyes. She held no grudges, she held no shame. There was nothing there but understanding. "When that ship pulled into the harbor of Ketterdam, what did you expect? For him to remain in the cell of a stadwatch office? With a slavery charge?" Svetlana almost scoffed. She only glanced at Matthias once before going back to dig the final bits of the grave up.

"Why didn't you speak up? Why didn't you tell the truth when we arrived in Ketterdam?"

"I tried, I swear it. I tried to recant. They wouldn't let me see a judge. They wouldn't let me see you. I couldn't explain the seal from the slaver or why I'd made the charges, not without revealing Ravka's intelligence operations. I would have compromised Grisha still in the field. I would have been sentencing them to death."

"So you left me to rot in Hellgate."

Nina glanced up at Svetlana, seeking help from the girl, but her eyes were fixated on the grave before them. She was just listening, she wasn't watching. This was something Nina had to deal with all on her own.

"I could have gone back to Ravka. Saints, I wanted to. But I stayed in Ketterdam. I gave up my wages for bribes, petitioned the Court—"

"You did everything but tell the truth."

"I was trying to protect my people!" she cried. "People you've spent your life trying to exterminate."

Matthias gave a rough laugh, bitter and cruel, then turned to the shovel in his hand. "Wandenolstrum end kendesorum."

Nina sighed, her shoulders slumped. "Isen ne bejstrum."

Svetlana knew the saying. A popular Fjerdan motto; The water hears and understands. The ice does not forgive.

"And what will you do now, Nina? Will you betray the people you call friends again, for the sake of the Grisha?"

Both Svetlana and Nina looked up at him in confusion. "What?"

Matthias' cruel smile was still painted on his lips. "You can't tell me you intend to let Bo Yul-Bayur live."

The idea never truly crossed her mind, and Svetlana was surprised to find Nina staring at the ground. She was going to kill him regardless, but she was glad to know that she wasn't the only Ravkan who wanted the best for the Grisha. And then Nina looked up at Matthias, determination shining in her eyes. "I can't bear the thought of my people being slaves, but we have a debt to settle, Matthias. The pardon is my penance, and I won't be the person who keeps you from your freedom again."

"I don't want the pardon."

"But—"

"Maybe your people would become slaves. Or maybe they would become an unstoppable force. If Yul-Bayur lives and the secret of jurda parem becomes known, anything is possible."

"They'd have to find a way to make the Grisha adapt, get their bodies used to small doses of the drug first, experiment and try their best to control the immense power within them," Svetlana said. "Grisha with more power will have Ravka in another civil war, but this one will be between the Grisha and the otkazat'sya. I don't think the King and the triumvirate would want that. They're trying to fix the country, not tear it apart."

Nina and Matthias shared a glance, then they both stared at her for a long while. "Do you plan on killing him? Yul-Bayur?"

Svetlana shrugged, "If I find him."

Her eyes met both of the soldiers before her, Ravkan and Fjerdans. And she, without acknowledging a homeland, was simply a fighter for the Grisha.

Nina's eyes traveled down to the ground, thinking through what was running through all of their minds. Matthias never removed his eyes from the brunette, and she noticed the light blonde hairs peeking through Nina's tailoring.

The sun was setting and a colder breeze was brushing through the land. They would have to lay to rest soon, and she doubted they'd be able to catch up to the others before they set camp for the night. She wondered what he was thinking about.

"It would mean betraying the other," Nina started. "They won't get their pay from the Merchant Council."

"I don't think I've ever heard of the Merchant Council keeping true to their word of a deal with Barrel rats before." Svetlana shrugged, Matthias copied her action. The action seemed foreign to him.

"And Ka will kill all three of us."

"If he learns the truth."

"Have you tried lying to Kaz Brekker?" Nina said ridiculously, her brow raised.

"She's right. I wouldn't be surprised if he knows we were having this type of conversation right now. I wouldn't expect anything less of him."

Matthias shrugged. "Then we die as we lived. For a cause."

Svetlana noticed Nina's eyes stray to Nestor. "I don't know about you two, but I refuse to die in Fjerda or Ketterdam. I'm going to make it out of here, and Kaz Brekker can try to kill me. He won't get very far with it."

Matthias' eyes never truly moved away from Svetlana, not until she removed her eyes from Nina. "We are of one mind in this, then," he said. "Bo Yul-Bayur will not leave the Ice Court alive."

"The deal is the deal," replied Nina in Kerch, and Matthias repeated after her. Only Svetlana replied in Ravkan, and for some reason, that action alone brought some warmth to Nina's heart.

Svetlana may not be the most honorable person, or most loyal, but one thing is for sure; she will always look out for the Grisha around her.

          WHEN NIGHTFALL CAME, Svetlana knew it would be the last night for them out in the open before they reach Djerholm. And somewhere in the night, the reality of the situation finally dawned on her. She glanced around her tent, finding Nina and Inej in their sleeping bags beside one another, seeking comfort in their slumber. She slowly got up and left the comfort of the tent.

She found Matthias by the fire. He looked up and somehow seemed relieved that it was her and not Nina. "Can't sleep?" he quoted her, and she brushed the goosebumps rising on her arm.

She took her seat across from him, eyes boring into the fire, wondering if by this time tomorrow, she will board the Ferolind with Natalia in tow or not. She prayed it to be the former.

She heard Matthias shuffle, almost uncomfortable with the silence. Then he opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. "About the pyres... I didn't know—"

"Matthias," she cut him off. Her eyes shifted from the fire to meet his, and he could see its reflection in her eyes. Brown turned into gold, and he wondered if she was going to set him on fire too. He saw he glance back at the tent she just came out of and wondered if she was going to crawl back in. She was without her jacket again, but he wasn't surprised.

"Nina said it's easy to forget who you are when we're around you. She's not wrong."

He furrowed his brows, "What do you mean?"

She shrugged, "It's hard to believe someone of your age and size still believes there's fairness in this world, especially here." he knew her unspoken words, here in Fjerda. He cast his eyes down to the fire.

"Drüskelle fight for the people, right?"

He nodded.

"You do realize those Grisha at that pyre were also people, right?"

He shook his head, "They're unnatural. They're not normal people, they're not—"

"They were people, Matthias. They had friends, families, children, maybe. And they were ripped away from their homes and brought here to be murdered under the false excuse of a fake trial."

His eyes hardened. "The trails aren't fake. Grisha always—"

"Answer me this. When you were training to become one of them, how many Grisha trials have you seen?"

The silence stretched, and Svetlana smiled sadly. "Do you know why Grisha never stand trial in the Ice Court, Matthias?"

He shook his head.

"Because they die before they get the chance." She revealed. "Grisha are taken out of their cells by your brothers-in-arms, and are tied down to pyres just like that one, and they're set aflame simply because they exist."

Her mind traveled to Natalia. A horrific thought passed through her mind, and for a moment her heart skipped several beats. She prayed she was not too late to get her out of this hellhole. She prayed she is in this hellhole.

They sat there as he absorbed her words, and for some reason, it made sense to him. He shuddered at the thought. "Did you know many Grisha?"

"Yes," she said, her voice barely a whisper in the wind, but he heard it. "I grew up with Grisha. I was raised in Ravka, Grisha were all around me." when he remained silent, she continued, her eyes fixated on his. "They were my friends, people I cherished. And every time we hear of a drüskelle attack, we check in with each other. I've lost most of my friends to drüskelle, never to be seen or heard from again. Will I find my friends in the Ice Court, Matthias? Or will they have already been murdered or set on fire on a pyre?"

His eyes glistened with tears, but he refused to let them fall. Svetlana frowned. "I hate to be the one to burst your bubble, but your country isn't as righteous as they've led you to believe."

Then she was walking back to her tent, stomach turned and unable to rest, leaving Matthias to glare at the fire alone once more.