Diavolo: i think i know a way to make more money

Doppio: you'd make a decent stripper

Diavolo: i'd make an AMAZING stripper but that's not what i'm talking about

(fr tho i fell in LOVE with Diavolo's design the first time i saw him 😭😭 ngl he might be one of my favs)

—

Abbacchio: two shots of vodka... *pours half the bottle*

—

Jotaro: daughter. your mother and i are getting a divorce.

Jolyne: ok

Jotaro: that's all you got to say?

Jolyne: may divorce be with you

—

Abbacchio: all my life i've really liked syrup. i just like eating waffles all day—

Giorno: have you ever had bacon and syr—

Abbacchio: UH, i'm not finished.

Giorno: but—

Abbacchio: i've always liked to make it waffle sauce, like hey, this is a different way to make these and stuff, so let's get started.

Giorno: alright so let me grab the toaster—

Abbacchio: OH my gOD can you just let me do what i need to do

—

Narancia: *tilts bottle so juice spills on the carpet*

Fugo: aaahhhh! oh my gaaaaad...

Narancia:

Narancia: *pours juice onto carpet*

Fugo: bROOOOOOOOOO

—

Caesar: hello, 911?

Joseph: this is 911 whatchu doin'?

Caesar: i'm dying

Joseph: oh shit!! without me?

—

Bucciarati: there's only one thing worse than a rapist. *rips paper away* boom.

Abbacchio: *gasps* a chILD!!¡!

Bucciarati: nO—

—

George Joestar I: i should've left you on that street corner where you were standing.

Dio: but ya DIDN'T

—

Abbacchio: honestly i dOn't remember i was probably fUCked up. yea i was crazy back then hahahauhhh

—

Fugo: mmmggghhrrr fUCK school! FUCK all this bullshit what the fUck! tHE FUCK!!!!!!

—

Mista: what do you want from me??!?!?

Trish: *eats KitKat the wrong way*

Mista: please, stooooooooop