A/N: I know I usually put flashbacks at the end of the chapters but because I haven't written this story in so long (and also have run out of ideas) I'm no longer doing that and doing longer present time instead :)

Eighteen

        “Why do you want to talk to him?” Kelsey sneers, pressing my cell phone tightly to her ear. I was getting out of the shower when it rang and she snatched it before I could even get into the kitchen. “Well, you’re my friend. Why can’t you just tell me and I’ll tell him?” She drums her fingers on the counter and I lean against the wall, growing impatient. She’s been refusing to let me have my own phone the whole time. “Fine,” she growls, sticking her arm out towards me. I quickly take the phone away and move it to my ear.

            “Hello?”

            “Fallon, hey. It’s Adam.” I vaguely remember him as one of Kelsey’s druggie friends. “Sorry for calling you, but it’s an emergency.”

            I turn away from Kelsey’s wide eyes and face the living room, running my fingers through my hair. “What kind of emergency?”

            “It’s Eve.”

            That’s all I need to hear before I’m running for the door. “I’m on my way.”

            My head is screaming at me as I rush towards my car. I don’t have time to drop Tyson off at Ms. Rose’s so I pray to whoever is listening that Kelsey can take care of him for the hopefully short time I’m gone.

            Horrible scenarios rush through my mind as I turn the key in the ignition, scared of what’s going to happen. It takes five tries to start the stupid car. It isn’t until I take a deep breath and try again that I realize my hands are shaking so bad.

            “Let me.”

            I practically jump out of my seat as Kelsey climbs into the passenger side and reaches for the keys.

            “What are you doing? Where’s Tyson?” My words come out so fast that I worry she can’t understand them. I don’t think I’m calm enough to attempt to even repeat myself.

            “I’m coming with you and I dropped Tyson off next door.”

            The smallest bit of relief washes over my as Kelsey takes the keys from my palm. I want to tell her not to come; to fight with her to get out of my car. However as she starts the engine, I know that despite my anger and frustration towards her behavior, I need her with me right now.

            “Do you want me to drive?”

            I slam on the reverse and pull out of the parking lot. “No.”

            “Fallon, you need to take it easy. Why don’t I drive?”

            “No,” I spit, waiting for the cars to pass so I can merge into traffic. “Come on!” I yell, bashing my fist on the horn. It blares and finally someone slows, letting me cut in. The tires squeal as we lurch onto the pavement and then we’re on our way.

            Kelsey, for the first time possibly ever, knows better than to ask questions. Honestly, if she asked what was going on I would probably scream at her. Not only because she would be pissing me off, but also because I haven’t the slightest idea. Adam wouldn’t tell me.

            It doesn’t take long to get to Eve’s house. I’ve never been there before, but Adam gave me the address and this looks like it’s it. I park in the driveway and jump out of my car. I leave the engine running as I jog towards the front door, letting Kelsey turn it off as I reach the steps.

            My hand hangs over the door, ready to knock, when it opens unexpectedly. I expect to see Adam, ready to rush me into find whatever emergency involving Eve is waiting for me. But that’s not who’s there.

            “Fallon,” Eve gasps, freezing in place. Her eyes are as wide as golf balls and she loses her grip on the box she’s holding. It starts to flip and I catch it, cradling it in my arms to distract me from freaking out. “What are you doing here?”

            “What’s going on?” I feel like I can’t breathe. “Adam said there was an emergency.”

            Eve looks confused and annoyed at the same time as she stares at me. Suddenly, she wrenches the box from my grasp and walks past me towards her silver car that’s parked in the driveway.

            “Everything’s fine,” she says quietly, avoiding me. “I don’t know why Adam would lie to you. But it was nice of you to rush over so fast.”

            The sarcasm in her last sentence breaks me from my shock. Ignoring the fact that Kelsey’s probably watching us, I rush after Eve and stop behind her, watching her put the box into her trunk. I don’t notice what’s inside the box but I can see that there’s a lot more than the one she was carrying.

            “What’s going on, Eve?”

            She slams the trunk of her car closed with more force than I thought she has. Turning to me, her eyes narrow and she throws her hands in the air, as frustrated and angry as I am.

            “I’m leaving.”

            The exact same feeling that I had when Adam told me there was an emergency consumes me. I quietly take a deep breath, trying to calm myself before I freak out. Underlining every ounce of fear, anger and worry I have inside me is a longing for the stupid, horrible drug. It’s telling me to use it; to walk away from this and let go.

            “What do you mean you’re leaving?” I try to ignore the urge and focus on clenching and unclenching my hands at my sides.

            “I’m going to live with my dad.” Her voice softens.

            “Your parents…are divorced?” I can’t believe she never told me; that I didn’t know this.

            “Yes, they are Fallon.” Her tone quickly changes to icy again in a moment. “You would know that if you weren’t so consumed by yourself.”

            Her words infuriate me but also completely tear me apart. She’s wrong. No, she’s right. I don’t know what to believe. I can’t fathom why I never realized this before. I really don’t know anything about Eve but she knows everything about me. How is this possible? How can I have been so self-centered all this time?

            “I am so sorry, Eve.” My words start to sound like desperate cries for help; for her to stay. “Please don’t leave. Please.”

            She shakes her head and looks away, her gaze landing on the pavement. “I have to, Fallon. Nothing ever changes with you. I’m tired of being hurt.”

            “No, Eve, don’t.” I grab her shoulders and bend down so that my face is leveled with hers, only inches away. “I was wrong about everything. We can fix this. I can fix this.”

            Eve’s eyes land on my car parked behind hers. I know she’s looking at Kelsey and something inside me changes. I made the wrong choice. All along, I chose Kelsey, because I thought what I felt for her was love. But despite possibly loving her before, the feeling I have for Eve is completely different.

            I screwed up.

            “I made the wrong choice,” I whisper, more to myself rather than to Eve.

            “And that choice gave you another child,” Eve responds, her words harsh despite her quiet voice. “I can’t do this anymore, Fallon. You keeping hurting me and I can’t take it.”

            “Eve, no-“

            “I love you, Fallon.” She breaks away from my grasp and takes a step back, her eyes serious as tears start to stream out of them. “But I can’t let myself anymore.”

            “Eve.” My voice sounds hoarse, making me think that I’m now crying. “I love you too. Please, don’t do this to me!  Don’t leave me! I need you!”

            I don’t think I’ve realized how much people mean to me until they leave. I didn’t know how important my parents were until I left. I didn’t know how much I thought I loved Kelsey until she left. Hell, I didn’t even realize how much I needed meth until I stopped. But now it’s all happening again. Eve is leaving me and she’s the only person who really helped me through everything that’s been happening.

            I can’t believe how bad I screwed up.

            “Goodbye, Fallon.” She meets my eyes briefly before brushing past me to get into her car. A part of me reaches for her, my fingers touching her shirt when I suddenly drop them. Even holding onto her, never daring to let her go will never make her stay. It will never make things right. I just have to let her leave.

            She gets into her car and pulls around mine, heading into the street. In a daze I follow after her, stopping when I reach the sidewalk. Eve looks at me one last time before stepping on the gas. She starts to drive towards the intersection and I catch her wiping her eyes with the back of her palm. It’s this exact moment when I realize she’s not watching the road.

            It’s like a movie that plays out in front of me. I don’t know if it’s going by too fast, or too slow, because it’s all too real for me to bear.

            “Eve!” I scream, cupping my hands around my mouth in attempt to make her hear me. “Eve, stop!”

            For a brief moment I see her reflection in the rear view mirror, her hand lowering from her face. Her eyes grow wide as she finally sees the traffic lights in the intersection, hers red. But it’s too late.

            Her scream pierces the air as she tries to get the car to break but it doesn’t make the difference. The sound of metal collapsing on itself erupts through the air as an SUV slams into the driver’s side of the car. Both the vehicles skid until Eve’s rolls over, rocking slowly back and forth as the sound of metal scraping starts to quiet.

            I know I should be screaming, running, crying, but I can’t do anything. I’m frozen. There’s only one thought running through my mind and it’s crushing me, tearing apart my insides inch by inch.

            This is my fault.