Okay, so I have been getting a lot of questions about this story (much to be expected) and I was just going to add them as little a/n at the end of my chapters because I don't like a lot of non-chapter parts, but it's going to take too long to explain, as the chapters are long enough as it is, but I figured these were important questions that I needed to explain in greater depth, so i figured a dedicated part would be appropriate, I suppose. So, yeah, read on if you have any questions; they might just be answered...or at least I am going to try my best to explain them. (If you know about DID, feel free to skip to the BOLD letter, its important.)

Q: What is DID?

I realized I didn't really do the best job at explaining, and just figured everyone would just go research if they're really that curious. But, I'll save them the time and just explain it on here so I don't keep getting asked this.

DID is a really complex disorder though, and I do not fully understand it myself either, despite the amount of research I have done prior to writing this...so, please, do your own research as well so you can get the full picture. I am not going to teach you about the entirety of the disorder (I can't. It's impossible for someone who does not experience it for themself) but for now, I am simply going to explain to you how Taehyung is in my story, and the things he is going through based off of the knowledge that I currently have of the disorder I have chosen to write about. Everything I have learned is from what I have read through medical articles and DID sufferers themselves, and is based entirely off of their testimony (in other words, I'm saying this is in, by no means, 100% accurate. It is simply my perception of what I have read about it, as well as some random stuff I pulled off of medical sites.) With that being said, once again, I am not here to necessarily teach you everything there is to it. I'm more so giving you my interpretation of it (with some general information about it), so you can go on and look into it for yourself so hopefully more people will get educated about it.

I'm going to start off with some facts I have found online about DID, and then I will go on to talk more directly about Taehyung and what he suffers with in this story. But do keep in mind, I am not going to give everything away just quite yet; you will just have to read and find out yourself. But here is some general information.

1. Dissociative identity disorder (DID) was formerly called multiple personality disorder. People with DID develop one or more alternate personalities that function with or without the awareness of the person's usual personality.

2. A history of trauma is a key feature of dissociative identity disorder. About 90% of the cases of DID involve some history of abuse. The trauma often involves severe emotional, physical, and/or sexual abuse. It might also be linked to accidents, natural disasters, and war. An important early loss, such as the loss of a parent or prolonged periods of isolation due to illness, may be a factor in developing DID.

3. Dissociation is often thought of as a coping mechanism that a person uses to disconnect from a stressful or traumatic situation, or to separate traumatic memories from normal awareness. It is a way for a person to break the connection with the outside world, and create distance from an awareness of what is occurring. Dissociation can serve as a defense mechanism against the physical and emotional pain of a traumatic or stressful experience. By dissociating painful memories from everyday thought processes, a person can use dissociation to maintain a relatively healthy level of functioning, as though the trauma had not occurred.

4. A person with DID has two or more different and distinct personalities, the person's usual ("core") personality and what are known as alternate personalities, or "alters." The person may experience amnesia when an alter takes control over the person's behavior.

5. Each alter has distinct individual traits, a personal history, and a way of thinking about and relating to his or her surroundings. An alter may be of a different gender, have a different name, or a distinct set of manners and preferences. (An alter may even have different allergies than the core person.)

6. The person with DID may or may not be aware of the other personality states and memories of the times when an alter is dominant. Stress, or even a reminder of a trauma, can trigger a switch of alters. In some cases, the person with DID may benefit from a particular alter (for example, a shy person may use a more assertive alter to negotiate a contract). More often DID creates a chaotic life and problems in personal and work relationships. For example, a woman with DID may repeatedly meet people who seem to know her but whom she does not recognize or remember ever meeting. Or she may find items around the home that she does not remember buying. (I would also like to point out that there doesn't necessarily need to be a trigger for personalities to come out. From what I have learned, certain personalities can come out at random, or even force themselves to come out at will.)

I would also like to say that, unlike Schizophrenia, DID sufferers don't necessarily hear voices in the way that schizophrenics do. not exactly. Instead of hallucinations, a sufferer may start to realize, as they mature, that their thoughts are not of their own. An interesting fact that I learned through someone sharing their experience, is that identities (though, usually this comes after a lot of therapy) can actually learn to communicate through the mind, of which can make it very hectic for the host to concentrate on their own thoughts. Summarizing, one DID sufferer explained her experience as such "my mind is like a room of which all of us live in, and we are able to speak to one another within it freely." Some may come to realize that these thoughts are not their own by the "sound" of the thoughts themselves. Typically when we think, we think in our own voice. But with DID sufferers, they may realize that their inner voice may have a different accent than them, different gender, and even different languages, and they realize there is multiple of these voices. A lot of people, though, may not even be aware of this and pass it off until they are diagnosed or brought to light to it in some other form.

As you may or may not remember, several chapters back, Taehyung was seemingly fighting with himself both physically and mentally. This was actually two of his alters that have come to the realization that they are not alone. I won't say who they are, why they're there, or how they came about realizing this quite yet, but I will say that these two alters are the most aware ones. Taehyung, or any of the other alters, is not aware of the existence of multiples, but these two in particular are. I am not going to say their purpose quite yet. But now you know.

You may remember that one of the alters was trying to take medication, whereas the other alter was not having it. They both were aware during this time. When two alters are aware at once, this is called Co-Conciousness.

"Co-consciousness is a term used to describe the experience of someone with multiplicity where more than part is aware of what is going on. Co-consciousness can work practically in a few different ways. For some multiples, it's like they are seeing and hearing everything that's going on, even though they're not the one moving the body. For others, it's more like being told what happened, or watching a short video of memories. I used to be confused as a kid that so many of my own memories are in the third person rather than the first - that is, I see everything happening as if I'm up by the ceiling, looking down on everyone including me. I've since discovered that this is an easy way for me to tell when I've personally been out running the body and when I've just been watching - co-conscious. My own memories are in the first person, co-conscious memories are in the third. This is different for everyone though! I can really struggle sometimes with new friends or in new environments, especially if it wasn't me who has met them before or been there before. People sometimes notice me pause as I'm asking inside for the information and if I'm lucky whichever part recognises the person or remembers the event will quickly fill me in, or switch out and take over." A DID sharer explains.

In this scenario though, not only were two identities aware at the same time, but one of them was in partial control. At certain times, two personalities may have control of the host's body at once. Usually though, one personality may have 90% control, whereas the other(s) may be limited to only certain limbs. Like a leg, or arm. In the case with my scene, one alter had control of the host's arm, whereas the other was in (almost) full control of everything else.

Taehyung, as well as other certain alters though, have not yet experienced this Co-conciousness.

"For someone with classic DID, they have very high levels of dissociation, both in identity and memory, which usually means that they are amnesiac whenever a different part is out. Amnesia can cause distressing experiences such as not being able to recall important personal information (name, date of birth, home address), years of their life, or daily struggles such as 'coming to' in an unfamiliar place and having no idea how they came to be there. Some people are really aware that they are losing time or memories like this, others are in a kind of confused fog where until someone asks them a question - where did you get those shoes? when's the last time you ate? what did you get up to on Wednesday? - they're actually unaware that they're experiencing amnesia.
With classic DID, not only is the person experiencing amnesia, but they are confused by evidence left behind while other parts have been out. Obvious things may be clothes in the wardrobe that are unfamiliar and not to their taste, family members upset about arguments they don't recall having, friends who think they know them by a different name etc. "

*****Here are some things to keep in mind for future chapters:

Taehyung isn't aware of his other alters, and his other alters (besides two of them) are not aware of anyone else.

There are currently 4 alters in mind (currently) though this can change, if needed for more developement. You guys have seen 3 so far.

Each alter has their distinct personalities that you will start to pick up as the story goes on.

I will reveal the names, reasons for their existence, and other bits of information to help you get to know them better in due time. But please have patience.

Next.

another person came to me expressing their confusion regarding the switch of personalities and the way I am portraying them, and so I'm gonna use their feedback 'cause I know it probably speaks for a lot of you. I went ahead and Ieft their username out because I know how some people can maybe take things like this the wrong way, so I just wanted to leave their user out so they didn't get anybody @'ing them.

My response is going to address *why* I wrote this the way that I did (not introducing them yet), and hopefully let you see what goes on through my mind when writing this, as well as address any of your concerns regarding the mystery personalities. Oh, and one more thing, I am not mad at all at this user, I'm actually really happy they brought it up. I'm not psychic, so it really helps to see what I can improve on to better the experience for my readers. So, here we go...

First off I wanna say that, despite my story being on chapter 10 with like...30k+ words, this is still very early on in the story. Believe me...I have a lot of stuff I want to do with this, and these chapters haven't even touched the surface of it all. (I just got stuck on the route i was taking, hence the super long hiatus.) I didn't introduce the personalities right away on purpose, but rather am trying to give hints with certain traits as to who it is (example; Taehyung's sudden confidence, and then sometimes he acts eerie and talks a different way) Despite what some people may think about it, I didn't want to give away who they were right away because I wanted to make it where it was sort of like reading it from Jungkook's perspective, but not..? How do I explain...so, since Jungkook isn't aware of the fact he is speaking to different personalities, let alone knows all their names, I wanted to give the readers a similar view when reading; confusion and wonder. I know it's kind of hard for some people to catch certain things I am trying to do, but that's just how I write; I write to get people thinking. I like to slip subtle things into my stories (in this case, the certain personality traits) and then extend off of it later on...it's kind of like I plant a seed and give it time to grow before I pick the vegetable that was grown from it. I hope that makes sense. So...that's why you need to read my stories closely sometimes in order to catch certain things I am trying to do...in my opinion, I love reading stories that drop little things in, and then later on bring it back up because then I'm like "oh yeah, I remember that!" it's kind of fun to me. And, it makes rereading, if you ever want to, even more fun because then you can now see things that you maybe didn't the first time you read it. But, I only do that for people who are similar to me...and it's not required to enjoy reading my story; it's just a bonus.

You see, you're not really meant to know exactly who it is that's speaking right now, besides Taehyung. I know you probably want to, so forgive me, but I made it this way on purpose. Do not worry if you don't understand who is saying what right now, because right now it is in it's early stages. What you have read is only a small % of them. They will be getting much more identifiable soon, and they will become actual characters in the story and not just Taehyung's side personalities that come out every now and then. And once you get to know the characters, you might think back to the early chapters and try and pinpoint who exactly it was that was talking; but the fun of it is, you don't know for certain, and you know, mystery is fun sometimes! I'm sorry if my story confuses you, and I'm sorry I didn't do a better job at explaining my intentions before. Sometimes I like to get a little *too* mysterious with them, and I forget about what my readers may possibly think about it. But now you know. I never meant for my story to be bothersome to read.

But, apologies and explanations aside....to summarize; please don't worry, and just read. Have patience, and I will make sure to do my best at answering all your questions that you have in the coming chapters. If I still left questions unanswered when this story comes to an end, it will be nothing but my fault. But, for now, trust in me that I will do my best at making things more clear in the future. If you have any questions now though, feel free to comment! Maybe if I get enough of them, I will just add a Q&A chapter in the future.

p.s. I meant to update this a lot sooner, but things came up and then I got a game and....I put 30 hours into it already 🤦‍♀️ I was obsessed, I'm sorry. But the chapter is nearing completion, so no you dont have to wait months again.

anyways, yeah that's over and done with. have a good night or day♡