Bey POV

The sun shined through my window as I stretched my arms out. A moaned escaped my lips as my body spread. It felt like euphoria. I yawned while rubbing my eyes. Then, reached over to grab my phone. I checked the time and laid back until I remembered yesterday. I checked to see if Shawn got my message. He did, he just didn't respond. Sadness rushed over me again. I sighed, rolling out of bed. It was going on 7:30. I needed to make sure Erin was up to catch the bus. I brushed my teeth and threw on something quick so I could get him ready.

I walked down the corridor to Erin's bedroom. He was sleeping so peacefully. I smiled and watched him for a few before snapping out of my thoughts.

"Erin, baby. Wake up." He just scrunched up his face as I shook him.

"Erin C'mon. You're gonna see Tiera. You don't wanna miss her right?"

Erin opened one eye and looked at me, deadpan. He was so funny.

"C'mon" I picked him up and stood him on the ground.

"Maaaa"

"Don't ma me. Go use the bathroom and brush your teeth. I'm going to get your uniform."

Erin walked to the bathroom rubbing his eyes while I found his uniform. After school, I need to wash all his uniforms, so he doesn't run out of clean ones. It took Erin about 10 minutes to finish in the bathroom. I washed his face and did a breath check. We got him dressed in 5 and had just enough time to eat coco puffs and get on the bus.

I waved good bye to him and watched him get on the bus. It was around 8:30 and I figured I should get dressed. I decided to text my girl, Kelly. We hadn't talked in a while and I missed her a lot. Kelly is an actress and starred in quite a few films. I'm so happy for her, although it leaves very little time to spend together. She was in town, this weekend, for a press conference and movie premiere, so maybe I could see her. I called her and she picked up on the third ring.

"Kellyyyyyyy."

"Bey. You dead serious." Kelly said sounding drained.

"What?" I laughed

"You know damn well I don't get up until 12. What you want?"

"I miss you, Kelly." I whined. "I wanna see you."

"Alright, but you buying me some food. Ill meet you in about an hour at your house."

"Ok bye honey. Don't fall back asleep either."

"Mhmm bye."

I was ready for Kelly to come over. I haven't seen her in two months and we haven't talked in about three weeks. We can go weeks without speaking but when we link its like we talk everyday. She is a close friend and I know she could definitely help with the Shawn situation.

I stayed in my lounge clothes but I washed up and played some music as I got ready. I blasted my song and my favorite part came on:

My skin is my cape, huh

My black is not beige, huh

Natural face, huh

That's how I wake up

No love for the fake ones

You get what you give, huh

Bills, bills, bills, bills, spend

Kelendria rich, huh

Talk saucy and nice, but this shit is sweet

Whole 'nother side that you never seen

I sow my tithes, you watch 'em reap

I talk to God, my minutes are free

GO KELLY! I had this song on repeat and blast. I had surround sound in my house so every room I was in I could hear it blasting. I am living my best life. I thank God for not having neighbors because I know they definitely would've called the police by now. I periodically looked out of my windows to see if I could see Kelly's car, I knew I wouldn't be able to hear her ring the doorbell.

It was going on 11:00 by the time Kelly came.

"KELLYYYY." I yelled as I opened the door.

"BEYYY"

We both hugged while rocking.

"Come in." I said ushering her inside.

"Whats been going on Bey?"

"SO much I wouldn't know where to begin. How about you?"

"Well I'm working on this new film now with Idris and Lupita. It's basically about love and blah blah. But Its amazing because majority of the cast is dark skin, which I love."

"Thats great Kelly. How is it working with Idris?"

"Its amazing. He is so damn fine."

"Who you telling?" We laughed.

"How is your love life going though? I asked her.

"Its going. I've been on a few dates. Theres one guy who I really have a thing for. His name is Ty and he is so adorable and sweet."

"Let me see. How'd you meet?"

"Well I actually met him through a friend, Jay at an event. It was the fundraiser, I tried to get you to go to." Kelly spoke as she pulled up a picture of him. She showed me and he was like a little frog, but in a cute way. I didn't see them together too much, but if she liked him. I loved him.

"Oh ok. He's cute. Damn Kelly, Maybe I should've went. I could've met him instead of dumbass."

"Bey, you're not always gonna get a good catch sometimes you need to keep trying."

"I know. I actually was interested in someone but I messed it up."

"What happened?"

"Well, he just moved to the area with his daughter. His daughter and Erin go to the same school. They are best friends. I met him and we hit it off, so over the past couple of weeks, we've gotten really close. One day, I came over to his house after working with Zsa Zsa and he was watching the kids. It was late and I hadn't eaten, so I went into the kitchen to get some food—"

"Damn Bey, You mad comfortable, huh."

"Kelly, shut up" I laughed at her stupidness.

"Anyways, I got me some food and heated it and he made a comment about me being a fatass because I could smell it and it smelt so damn good. So I acted like I was mad and he came up behind me and he snuggled his head into my neck. I could feel his lips and I was trying not to get all nasty and shit because the kids were in the house, so I walked away to get my food out the microwave. This nigga gonna call me Ms. Thickums. And I Was like too thick for you. He had the audacity to say says who and proceeds to pick me up and place me on his kitchen counter."

"Okkkkk Bey. About to get freaky in kitchen. Withcho nasty ass."

"Whatever, nobody was getting nasty, at least not completely. But anyways, I basically brushed him off and wouldn't give him his credit for picking me up and he wouldn't move from in front of me until I did. I tired to push him away, but he started gripping my thighs. Bihhhh, I damn near died. It felt so good. I'm like Oh lord, I can't let this nigga know what he's doing to me, so I'm like Shawn, move. He just grips me harder and pulls me in to his dick, which is dumb close to my cooch. He just keeps moving between my thighs and he's rubbing his dick all over my girl. We damn near fucking and I'm really into it, I got my arms wrapped around his neck and shit. Our lips were inches apart, but then Erin walks in and we pulled apart. Girl, I was tight, horny, and freaked out at the same time. Kelly, man that shit was so good, it had me in another world." I bit my lip as I reminisced on what happened almost a week ago.

"BEYONCE GISELLE KNOWLES, YOU A WHOLE FREAK." Kelly yelled standing up and jumping all over me.

"Kelly, thats not all though. I have to tell you how I fucked up though."

"Oh yea thats right, you may continue." She said sitting back down on the couch.

"So Shawn had texted me and called me, but I didn't want to talk because I was so nervous about what happened after. I mean we have gotten close but I'm not ready to be intimate with someone, especially someone I'm not dating. We are just friends. I didn't want to take it to another level and then he leaves or hurts me. Then, I had to think about Erin. If Shawn and I don't work or took it to another level and it didn't work, I didn't want that to affect Erin and Tiera's friendship. So, when he called, I didn't answer him. I was going to talk to him eventually but he found me instead. Yesterday, when I picked up Erin from school, Shawn and his daughter walked up to me while I was getting in the car. He was upset and asked me why I hadn't spoke to him. I tried to brush him off but he was raising his voice and people were looking. I got in my car but he stopped the door from closing. He asked if Erin was sleeping and said he was coming over. I rolled my eyes and I left. I tried to drive off but he still followed me all the way to the house. When we got there, the kids went to the kitchen to do homework while him and I spoke in my bedroom. He was yelling about why I ghosted him and I told him I couldn't deal with being with him and stuff. He doesn't know about Keith and I didn't tell him, but I kept thinking about It, because I wanted to tell him so bad, it hurt and I just cried. He didn't even care. He just left after he said what he had to say."

"Damn Bey. Did he say why he was upset though?"

"Yea, we talked after we calmed down and he basically just said he wanted communication and that's it. He said from now on, the only time he really wants to talk is when its about the kids."

"Aww BB. Why don't you explain the Keith situation? It may change his perspective on you and how you felt."

"I texted him last night. I was hoping we could talk this morning over coffee or something, but he hasn't replied."

"Give him time, Bey. You need to think about his perspective, all he knows is, he really fucked with you but you just dipped on him."

"I know, thats why I wanted to talk, but he really seemed like he meant what he said about just talking for the kids."

"Well look, theres more fish in the sea. This one didn't workout, but if you come out with me tonight, you might find someone you're interested in."

"Kellz, you know I don't do the scene."

"Bey please. Come to the premiere with me." Kelly grabbed my hand and gave me her best puppy dog eyes. "I dont want to go alone. Everybody is bringing someone and you know those industry people can be some bougie and uptight. I need my girl with me. Plus you said you would go with me at least once and you still haven't gone to any."

"Yes, but I've always seen the movies." I said trying to reason my way out.

"Bey."

"Fine, Kelly. I guess I finally have a reason to wear one of my moms dresses now."

"Yassss."

"Ok, look its at eight tonight. Ill have the town car come around 6 to pick you up, so you can help me pick out an outfit. Okay?"

"Ok. I'll be ready bum."

"Good, come let's watch some movies."

"Alright, I wanna watch Pyaar Impossible."

"Bey, Im not watch that damn Bollywood movie."

"But why? Its soo good, Kelly."

"If we watch that then we have to watch Legally Blond after."

"Damn... is it really worth it?"

"Thats for you to decide?"

I pondered it, but eventually said yes because I loved that movie, but Dil Dhadankde Do, was also up there with it. Anyways, we watched both movies and ate fat food all day. Honey buns, ding dongs, cinnamon rolls and five different chips. It was life and I'm so glad I could pig out because I haven't in such a long time.

We laid in bed for hours, but I did get a nap in during legally blond because that movie was so damn dumb, I couldn't bare to watch it anymore. I woke up to Kelly jumping on my bed waking me up.

"BEY WAKE UP!"

"KELLY GET YO ASS OFF MY BED." I pushed her legs causing her to fall against my bed.

We started laughing before looking at the time. It was already 3 and I knew Erin would be home soon. I thought about babysitting arrangements. I checked my phone and I had a text from Shawn.

It read:

"Nah, I'm good."

I instantly got sad, Kelly must've noticed the mood change because she asked whats wrong. I showed her the text and she took my phone and started texting.

Hello, Shawn. I'm Kelly, Bey's friend. My friend is bummed out and Im taking her out because I don't need her being all depressed over a man. She needs a mama's night out, so can you watch Erin tonight? -Sent

"Here you go." Kelly said handing me back my phone.

"Kelly, why'd you text him?"

"Because you need a sitter and you also need to see him. You'll thank me later."

I rolled my eyes at her and got out of bed.

"Whatever, we will see."

"Bey, its about time for me to go anyway. I'll see you tonight."'

"Bye Kelly." We hugged and I walked her out.

I watched her pull out and went back upstairs to get ready. I looked on my bed and saw a text pop up.

Shawn: Alright, drop him off when you are ready.

Bey: Thanks.

Shawn read my message but didn't reply, which made sense. I threw my phone on the bed and Erin came through the door.

"Hey baby." I said as I leaned over the banister to see him walk in.

"Hey Mom."

"How was school?"

"It was good." He spoke as he ran up the stairs to me.

"That's good baby. Change into some play clothes, you are going to Tiera's house."

"Again?" He seemed upset.

"You don't want to go?"

"I do, but you've been busy so I haven't hung out with you a lot."

"Aw I'm sorry Erin. How about tomorrow, we take a break from school and we can spend the whole day out."

"Ok Ma." Erin went to his room to go change his clothes and work on his homework.

I went to mine and took a shower. I made sure I was smelling extra good, with my bath and body works, A thousand wishes set. I was in there for 20 minutes, shaving and washing my hair.

I got out and it felt so damn good. I had the heat on and the warm air hit me. I dried off and I walked into my toasty room. I put on my shimmering lotion so I could have golden sparkles on my skin. I looked in my closet and looked through the many dresses my mother has designed for me. I found a few but I didn't know which one to go with. I decided to keep it classy and chose a long flowing gown. I loved the way it hugged me and I was feeling myself just a tad.

I did a once over and Erin walked in.

"Oh my gosh, mom. You look beautiful."

"Aw thank you baby. You think I should add anything."

"I think you should add some rings and earrings."

"Ok, Let me curl the rest of my hair and Ill add it."

I went to the bathroom and finished curling my hair. I took a deep breath and went back in my room to see Erin sitting on my bed in basketball shorts. I was so nervous about tonight, I was just about ready. I put on my heels and grabbed my clutch. I looked in the mirror once more and told Erin to come along. I thought about it for a moment and I told him to bring a bag and throw in a toothbrush and a change of clothes in case, he slept over or I came back late.

It wasn't long before he was ready and we were walking out the door. I texted Kelly to send the town car to Shawn's address since it was closer to her and because I didn't want to drive all the way back home. I figured I'd ask him if I could leave the car in his driveway until I got back.

30 minutes later...

I pulled up to Shawn's and Erin opened the door before I could fully stop. He rang the doorbell as I got out the car to walk to the front door. It was no more than 30 seconds before Shawn opened the door. He had looked down at Erin, but I couldn't hear what they were saying. I just saw Erin run in and Shawn look up as I approached him.

He looked at me and stared not saying a word.

"Hello" I spoke softly trying to gauge his attitude.

"Hey, you..umm... you look beautiful." Shawn eyed me up and down before landing back on my face.

"Thank you." I smiled at him while holding my dress with one hand.

"No problem." He said as he grabbed my hand to help me up the stairs.

I reached out for it and walked up. As we walked through the door, I remembered to ask him about my car.

"I was wondering if you would let me park my car in your driveway, so I don't have to drive all the way back home."

"That's fine." He let go of my hand as we entered the house. "Where are you going?"

"My friend, Kelly, has a movie premiere and she really wants me to go and support."

"Yea, I knew you guys were going out based on that text she sent." He side eyed me.

"I'm sorry about that. I didn't know she was going to text you that. We were just talking about the kit—a situation and she was trying to make me feel better."

"Alright, well I don't mind watching Erin. Him and Tiera are both going to be busy, T said she had a lot of plans for them." He chuckled before sitting on the couch.

"Shawn, I really hope that we can—"

"Bey, I don't want to talk about that anymore, let it go. I said my piece, ok?"

"I get it, Sorry." It was awkward for a minute. My eyes roamed the room and I glanced over to the kitchen, thinking about what had transpired not too long ago. I sighed wishing that I could go back in time.

I felt Shawn looking at me and I looked over. He turned his head and acted like he was on his phone. I laughed a little causing him to look at me.

"What?"

"You not slick."

"Slick with what?" He was really trying to play dumb.

"I saw you looking at me. You tried to play it off."

"Whatever, man."

"Yea, it is whatever." I shrugged standing up and walked towards the kitchen. I was so thirsty.

I opened the fridge and grabbed a glass pouring myself some water.

"What are you doing?" Shawn said walking up to me. He shut the fridge and eyed me down.

"What does it look like?" I replied taking a swig of my water.

"It looks like you're being rude. You can't just go in to my fridge and raid it like a fat ass."

"You sure loving throwing that word around. Fatass, thickumz, what else is next?"

"You are ridiculous."

"Im ridiculous, you're getting upset because I got water...not some fancy ass wine or some bougie ass caviar."

"IT'S RUDE."

"It wasn't rude when you thought I wanted you." I snapped back

"YOU DID! IF ERIN HADN'T WOKE UP, YOU SERIOUSLY THINK WE WOULDN'T HAVE HAD SEX"

"NO, BUT I'M GLAD HE DID, ESPECIALLY WITH YOU ACTING LIKE A CHILD."

"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO STARTED FUCKING CRYING BECAUSE I WANTED A DAMN TEXT BACK OR CALL. IF ANYONE IS ACTING LIKE A CHILD, ITS YOU."

"YOU REALLY GONNA THROW THAT BACK IN MY FACE? HOW DA—"

"Daddy." This time it wasn't just Erin who walked in, it was Tiera too.

We both looked at our kids who had tears in their eyes.

"T, Whats going on?" Shawn asked looking down.

"You guys were arguing."

"We're sorry. We didn't mean to get so loud."

"Why are you guys mad at each other?"

"It's adult stuff, don't worry about it."

"Is it about sex?" Erin asked.

"ERIN, THAT IS NOT YOUR BUSINESS." I was upset about Erin mentioning that, he's too young to be saying stuff like that.

"I'm sorry." Erin put his head and tried not cry.

"No, its ok. I just don't want you to say that ok. It's not something you should know about." I bent down next to him and brought him in for a hug.

"Ok mommy, um..was Shawn being mean to you like Keith?" Erin asked quietly while looking down.

"No baby, Shawn is really nice. Don't worry about us. okay?"

"Ok" Erin relaxed and so did Tiera. I looked between the two kids as me and Shawn knelt down in front of them. I heard a horn honk and I figured it was the town car.

"Come" I spoke to both of the kids with my arms opened wide. I kissed both of their heads as they embraced me and told them to have a good time and that I would be back. I stood up and looked to Shawn.

"That's my ride. Ill be back, Erin has his bag with him in case, he gets sleepy and can't wait up."

"Alright."

I walked out of the kitchen and outside to the black town car.

The driver, Ray, opened the door for me. I sat in and there goes Kelly.

"Hey, I thought we were going to your house."

"We were but, I just got dress and came this way because one, I wanted to see where this man lived and 2. I wanted to be on time. You look amazing though Bey."

"Thank you. You too Kellz. So where is it?"

"Its at the La Grangia Theatre."

"That's beautiful."

"I know. They usually do amazing when it comes to events and stuff. How'd it go in there thought?"

"It was a pain in the neck. We got into another argument about water....WATER, KELLY. How the hell you gonna get mad over me getting water."

"I see he's still not over it."

"Not in the slightest, but the worse part was the kids overheard and came in the middle."

Erin was so sad, he thought Shawn was hurting me and asked if Shawn was like Keith."

"Oh Bey.." Kelly said softly.

"I know, I told him Shawn was a good guy and that calmed the kids down. It's just hard, I don't want to fight anymore."

"Well after tonight, you wont even be worried about it. Imma get you drunk of your ass and we are going to have fun."

"Kelly" I warned. "Don't get me too crazy."

"I cant make any promises." She laughed in her sick twisted way and I just prayed for what was to come.

The rest of the ride we talked and laughed like old times. I wish she could come around more, but I know she's a busy woman.

We arrived almost an hour later, right on time. The driver opened our doors and we stepped out. There were lights flashing everywhere. People were yelling Kelly's name and she grabbed my hand walking towards the red carpet.

"You good, Bey? " Kelly whispered to me.

"Yea, its just been a long time since Ive been on the carpet."

Paparazzi kept yelling and screaming people's names. It wasn't long before we were walking into the theaters main doors. It was packed. I walked around with Kelly close to me. We saw some of my old clients, like Michael Ealy, Patti Labelle, Jennifer Lewis and a few others. It was a great time honestly. The previews played while everyone sat down in their seats, the lights dimmed and so did the crowds voices.

The director of the film came on stage and introduced the film and it played. I sat through and I must say Kelly killed it like always. Her acting was so amazing and I can honestly say I'm proud to call her my friend.

When the movie ended, she got on stage and introduced her self and gave a speech. Of course, she had a round of applause. 

The after party was right after and seeing that Kelly was the star of the movie, she was definitely going. It was almost 10 p.m. when we left the theater and headed to the after party. I sent Shawn a text asking If the kids were ok and he replied saying yea. He kept it sweet and short. I felt like I could sense his attitude and it messed with mine, but I just said fuck it and planned on getting just a tad bit tipsy. Kelly and I changed our clothes into some party clothes and made our way to the party.

Kelly and I arrived at the party and I went straight to the bar. I ordered a hardball and took it straight to the head.

"Damn, Bey. You must be trying to get lit."

"I am. I am tired of being worried about Shawn's bitch ass. Your girl about to have fun."

I looked at the bartender. "Hit me again." He whipped me up another drink and I took it to the head.

"Alright Bey, holla if you need me."

"I will babe, go have fun."

It wasn't long before I was on the dance floor dancing with some man. He was fine, but he wasn't Shawn. He grabbed me by my waist and we danced for a while, tight and close. I felt him nibbling on my neck and I didn't care at all.

"Let's get out of here." He whispered into my ear.

"As tempting as that sounds, I don't think that would be a good idea." I was a little drunk, but not enough to go home with him.

"Alright, well I'm going to head out. I'll see you around."

"Mhmm, you definitely will."

I kept dancing without a car in the world. I was having too much fun. 

I walked back over to the bar and saw a contest going on. It looked like they were taking shots and I decided to join in.

"I want in."

"You think you can handle it baby girl." Diddy, another former client, said to me

"I can handle it, but will you be able to keep up is the real question." The crowd around us Ooooood and brought more attention over to us.

We talked more shit over the loud music and the bartender lined us each up with six fireball shots.

"On the count of three, I want each of you to start. Whoever finishes first, gets to go home with this 600 dollar bottle of Ciroc. Understand?"

We both nodded and waited on the countdown.

"ONE" Everyone started counting together building the anticipation.

"TWO" WE got our hands ready to chug

"THREE" We threw it back like there was no tomorrow.

All I know is, I took one shot and then I was throwing them back to back. I ignored the burning sensation down my throat. I kept going until I ran out. Screams from people all around me, grabbing me and shaking me. I smiled hard and looked at Diddy giving him my best thug face.

"YEAAAAAAAA" I screamed out with everyone else. The bartender handed me the bottle of ciroc and I took a swig.

I was fucked up. I tried to walk towards Kelly, but I stumbled a little. Thank God, she wasn't far.

"Kelllllyyyyy, babyyyyyy." I said smiling at her. "Can you take me home, I miss my baby."

"Bey, you are fucked up girl. Imma call the town car."

"Okayyy." I chuckled as she called her driver. I must've dosed off because when I opened my eyes, Ray was standing over me and Kelly was too.

I stood up slowly and held onto Ray for support.

We made our way outside but I could barely walk. I got into the town car and Ray took me back to Shawn's house.

I was knocked out with in 10 minutes. Kelly stayed at the party, so I was solo. When I came to, I saw Ray opening the door. He helped me out and walked me to the front door knocking on it.

"Oh God...Wha-..Why did we come back here?"

"Ms.Kelly told me to take you here?"

"Fuck, Kelly. You. Know.... This man... really pissed me off... and I ....and I can NOT deal with his shit tonight." I was slurring my words but I really hoped he could catch my drift.

As soon as he was going to respond, Shawn opened the door.