The sun shined through the bedroom of Shawns room. I stretched my arms and looked over at Shawn who was sleeping. The events of last night flooded back to me. My lips curled into a smile while I wrapped my hands around his waist. I can't believe we finally had sex and it was amazing. He held me so right and touched me so softly. I stared in disbelief as I laid into him. 

I felt Shawn turning into me and kissed him awake. He moaned lowly. "Bey?"

"Yea baby."

"How you feeling?" 

"Im good. Just admiring you."

"How you really feeling?"

Shawn opened his eyes fully as he waited for my answer. 

"I'm scared...He knows where I stay. He knows how to get in my house. I don't know how to protect Erin. They let him go for a small indiscretion, but MY TESTIMONY DIDNT MEAN SHIT. NOTHING. NOTHING TO THEM..... It took....everything I had to go up there. In return, I got a slap in the face by the so called justice system."My voice strained as I struggled to fully get my thoughts out. 

"I know it's hard right now, but I promise you I will never leave you. I will protect you as much as I can. Erin too. I care about both of you. Imma make sure you both good."

I smiled at Shawn before kissing him and rolling out of bed. "Thank you baby."

I went into the bathroom and handled my morning routine. I didn't feel like going out today. I will still in shock of everything that happened. Shawn made me forget about it for a little while, but the verdict kept replaying in my head over and over. Keith's smirk, everything. I tried not to worry too much about it, but I couldn't help but wonder if my son would be safe.

Upon leaving the bathroom, the sweet smell of pancakes and bacon hit my nose. Shawn was the best cook and made the most amazing food. I hurried downstairs and saw him shirtless with long pajama pants on. 

"Hey" I spoke with my arms wrapped around his waist and my head resting on his back.

"Hey to you. You want eggs?"

"No, but do you have an apple juice?"

"Yea, It's Tiera's favorite." He said chuckling.

"Can I have some?"

"Yea, bey go ahead. It's just juice."

"It was just water." Shawn rolled his eyes at my comment referring to our argument previously about me not asking to get water. "I'm kidding Shawn. Relax baby."

"I like the way baby is rolling off your tongue." Shawn said as he finished the last pancake. 

"I like the way it feels rolling off my tongue." I reached over him and grabbed a piece of bacon before grabbing a plate from the cabinet. "Go sit, I'll make us a plate, since you cooked."

"Thank you." Shawn kissed my temple before sitting at the kitchen bar.

I put five pancakes on each plate and bacon. Shawn had made eggs for himself so I gave him his and grabbed the syrup. 

"Bon appetite." 

"Thank you gorgeous." 

I sat next to him and we prayed over our food. 

"What we doing today B?"

"I'm not really in the mood to do anything Shawn. I just wanna stay in. I don't want to see any reporters or any TMZ crazies." 

"You sure? I have a spot that's secluded and its pretty low key."

"I'll think about it." I gave him a soft smile before finishing the food.

"Imma call my mom about the kids." He stood up leaving his unfinished food on the counter.

I ate silently while I waited for him to come back.

____________

Jay Pov

I got up to call my mother. I know Bey would still feel a little off, so I decided to not push her about leaving. I let her be.

I found my phone and my picked up on the third ring.

"Hey Shawn. How you feeling?"

"Hey ma, I'm good. How about you?"

"Good. The kids wore me out." She chuckled.

"Sorry ma, we thought we'd be back, but then the verdict was bad and Bey was a wreck. She pretty much slept the day away. Ill come by in an hour or so to pick up the kids."

"Well they're sleeping, so when they wake up, Ill call you, so you can come. Try around 1 or so."

"Ok. Thanks ma. Ill see you soon."

"Ok Shawn. Love you."

"Love you too."

I hung up and went back downstairs to finish my food. Bey had finished hers already and was washing up the dishes. 

"You don't have to do that. you know."

"I want to. Its only right."

"Thank you."

"Mhmm." Bey stayed silent and just washed, but her whole vibe had changed.

"Bey?"

"mhmm."

"Come here."

"I'm almost done." She was on the last pan, but I wanted immediate attention. I walked over to her, taking the pan out her hand and turning off the water.

"Shawn, I told you I was almost done."

"I don't care. Something's going on."

"YOU DON'T SAY!" She spoke with annoyance and sarcasm.

"Bey talk to me. Tell me what's going on."

"WELL LETS START WITH MY RAPIST GOING FREE. THEN, WE CAN GO INTO HOW IM SLACKING HARD AS FUCK AS A MOTHER. I CANT HOLD MY SHIT TOGETHER FOR ONE DAY TO WATCH MY OWN SON. AND FINALLY, WE FUCKED LAST NIGHT AND I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO THINK ABOUT THAT."

"I said we could wait."

"SO THATS MY FAULT TOO."

"BEY, NO. Nothing is your fault. I never said it was yours."

"Not you but everybody else seems to think it's mine."

"Who is everybody? you havent even talked to anybody on the phone."

"Its the TV, twitter, everything." She threw her phone on the table. "They are saying Keith wouldn't have been that way had I not tempted him or stayed with him as long as I had. Or I'm addictive or how I'm always dressing sexy and of course, he wanted some more. They're making it all about me. Like I asked for it, when I didn't. I told him No and it's like that doesn't even matter." Bey broke down as she spoke more and more. She looked so fragile. It pissed me off that they were getting to her like that. 

I pulled her into me, so she could cry into me. I picked her and she wrapped her legs around my waist with her head on my shoulder. I carried her upstairs and laid her in the bed. "I'll be right back." She didn't respond, she just cried. 

I went into the bathroom and ran the water filling up the tub. It was nice and hot, but not enough to burn. It was just how Bey liked it. I put a few essential oils in it that she liked with the bubbles overflowing. 

I peeked back in the bedroom and Bey had stopped crying and was just laying there in a ball. I turned back to the water and turned it off. I came back into the bedroom and sat her up. She didn't respond. She sat stiff and tired.I brushed her hair back and kissed her neck softly. I took off her shirt slowly and then her bra. She instinctively covered herself. 

"Its ok. Trust me." She slowly let her arms down. 

I stood her up and slid off her panties. I grabbed her hand and led her to the bathroom. When she saw the tub, she gripped my arm and smiled a little. A tear escaped her eyes. I lifted her hand, so she could get in. She tugged my arm, so I could get in too. 

"You sure?"

Bey just shook her head up and down. She hadn't spoken any words and hopefully that would change. I just wanted her to express her feelings, but it had to be in her time.

I took off my pants and slipped behind her. She snuggled up with her back into me and I could feel her body relax instantly. I could get used to days like this minus the crying.....

____________________________________________________

Sorry, I haven't updated in a while. School has been killing me fr. Drop those thoughts, comments, all that. I'll update again probably over the weekend because midterms will finally be over. 

What do you think will happen?

Should Shawn exercise patience or try to keep getting Bey to open up?

Mama G is turning into the babysitter...