"Dad, can I hang with Ruby tonight?" Bronx asks. I almost nod, almost, until I remember what exactly he did.

"Hell no." I say, shooting up off of the couch. "You're not going anywhere for six more weeks, buddy."

"But, Dad," He whines, and I roll my eyes.

"Don't you 'but, dad,' me, mister. You're going straight up those stairs, and you're going to park your ass in that room." I say. He pouts and crosses his arms, his Green Bay Packers lanyard sticking out of his pocket.

"Who's to say I don't sneak out later?" He asks, and I chuckle. He makes this too easy.

"Keys." I hold out my hand, and he groans before handing me them. "I'm not stupid, Bronx, give me your car key." His eyes widen as he reaches into his left back pocket, which is hanging low because his jeans don't come up farther than the swell of his hips. This is what got me fucking pregnant. "Pull up your jeans, son."

"What the hell, Dad? Can I do anything without you being on my case about it?" I laugh at Bronx's annoyed tone.

"Quit being so hard on your poor father and watch Wild 'n Out with him." I say, and Bronx kind of smiles before sitting down. I wouldn't necessarily call Nick Cannon funny, but the guests he has on are.

I get a text at about ten, when Bronx is already passed out next to me. It's Joe, who's just started a group message with all of the dads in it.

joe trohman: sup guys you should come over so we can discuss the dance thing

brendon urie: it is friday night I'm in the middle of impractical jokers

ray toro: I'm in if jr can come too

me: ^^ bronx is passed out

gerard way: bandit's w/ her mom for the weekend so I'm in

joe trohman: see you guys in a few

I think against waking Bronx, instead slipping on my shoes and grabbing my phone, picking Bronx up. Damn, this kid isn't twelve anymore.

When I finally get him to the care and buckle him in, he *magically* wakes up when I slam my door. "What're we doing, Dad?"

"Going to Joe's house." I say quietly. He seems to perk up at that.

"Joe as in, Joe Trohman?" He asks hopefully. I nod my head at him, and he fist-pumps the air. "I fucking love you, Dad."

"Just because you want to fuck his daughter doesn't mean we're here for you, okay?" I ask, and Bronx's eyes go wide.

"Dad, I don't like Ruby.." He trails off, scratching the back of his head lightly.

"My ass." I say, and Bronx bites his lip, and I say, "What's wrong, kid?"

"Dad, I'm gay." He says. When I laugh, he looks really confused and scared.

"Son, I hope you really weren't afraid to tell me that. If you were, we have a bit of a problem." I say, and Bronx looks at me like I'm fucking crazy. "Son, I'm also gay."

"But how did you have me?" He asks. I don't really know if I should tell him this.

"Son, you know how I told you your mom died?" I ask. He nods. "Well, you don't exactly have a mother."

"Hold up, are you saying I came out of a dude?" Bronx asks, eyes wide. I nod slowly. "Dad, that's fucking gross!"

"You haven't even heard the worst of it." I say. Bronx's eyebrows raise. "I don't know who the guy that knocked me up was."

"So you don't know who my other dad is?" Bronx asks. Now he's getting it. I nod, and he laughs. "Who would've thought you were a bottom?"

"Hey, you'll see just how fun bottoming-" I stop myself from continuing. "We are sure as hell not having this conversation."

"Use condoms?" Bronx asks.

"Use condoms." I agree. I pull into the driveway of the Trohman household, and Bronx rushes inside and upstairs.

I walk in next, looking a little awkward. Brendon is there, wrapped in a blanket, Ray is there, and Gerard is there. It looks like they were all waiting on me.

"Sorry about Bronx. He wanted to hang out with Ruby tonight, but I wouldn't let him because of the whole skipping and stealing thing," I explain They all nod.

"Wentz, I swear if your son knocks my daughter up, I'll kill him." Joe threatens. Brendon laughs loudly at that.

"You don't have to worry about that. He's gay as hell." Brendon says. My eyes widen.

"How did you know that?" I ask. Brendon laughs at me.

"Pete, man, have you seen the way your son dresses?"

"Okay!" Joe says, changing the subject. For that, Pete is grateful. "This dance is supposed to commence in exactly one month."

"I'm bored." Gerard says suddenly, propping his feet up on the coffee table. "Holy shit, guys, let me tell you about this hot piece of ass that's working on my neighbour's house."

"Gerard, we're here for-" I try, but Brendon interrupts me by placing a hand over my mouth.

"Let him continue." Brendon says. Gerard smiles at him.

"He's totally short, but he's hot as hell. I'm not even really sure what his name is, but gosh, he looks like he'd be good in bed." Gerard continues. Ray leans forward.

"Frank Iero." Ray says. "That's him. You live in the Country Club, don't you? He's working on Patrick Stump's house."

"That sounds like a hot name." Brendon says. Ray nods, grinning wildly.

"Stump's hella hot. He has a kid named Declan that goes to the school across the street from our kids." Ray explains. "Rumour has it, Patrick's wife died three years ago from cancer. Fucked his kid up real bad."

"Frank Iero. Tell me about Frank Iero, you sneaky bitch." Gerard says, and Ray laughs.

"He's extremely short, like Stump's height, I think. They're both like two feet tall. Anyways, he's single. Focusing on his career. Wants to be a carpenter." Ray says, shrugging. "I can totally hit you up."

"Guys, guys, at this rate, we should just make a fucking club." Joe says. "We aren't ever going to get anything done with this dance."

"Brilliant!" Brendon exclaims. "We'll call it 'The Single Dads Club That Are Very Thirsty!'"

"How about just 'The Single Dads Club'?" I suggest. I make eye contact with the other four men as they all nod.

I don't know what the hell I just got myself into.