You say, "I am allowed to do anything"—but not everything is good for you. And even though "I am allowed to do anything," I must not become a slave to anything. - 1 Corinthians 6:12 (NLT)

I had my very first sexual encounter when I was nine years old. According to the Urban Dictionary a sexual encounter is : Any interaction involving two or more people that results in the /pleasure/fulfillment of the parties involved. Usually, but now commonly occurs through texting, social media, web chat, etc.

When I had my sexual encounter, I can honestly tell you that I was just trying to play with my friends. I played with kids that were slightly older than me. Recently I discovered that the girls I hang around with those many years ago, are now married. I used to play a game called 'House' and house was a game that represented the importance of having a family. There was a father, a mother and of course kids. Usually, I took the role of the father and had all sorts of sexual encounters that other kids my age and those a little older were familiar with. 

I want you to also know that in those days, I never had internet access. I had never watched porn or saw something obscene in the movies. I was a kid. I was still guided by my parents, and even though I was, they did not know that the so called friendly game exposed us to something that stirred up sexual desire. For the next couple of years I struggled with sexual addictions that occurred to a small boy that never had sex but had a sexual encounter. And I was only nine! 

The beauty of being created in the image of God is that there's something to image after. We are made in the image of God. God wants us to understand the importance of having a relationship with Him. Even though I have a very bad past, I am so grateful and thankful for salvation. You need to know that God saving you is something that is special. God wants us to understand that we are made in His image so much that He sent His son even after He saw we had failed. The son of God reconciles us to the Father. His reconciliation covered our sin and restored our broken relationship. 

So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most. - Hebrews 4:16 (NLT)

Jesus Christ invites every person to the throne of our gracious God. There, we receive His mercy because we need it. What can a boy that's had several sexual encounters do to change himself? Nothing! Jesus had to die for me before I could start having my relationship with Him. Even though I had been sinning and doing the craziest things, God had a plan for me. As He does for you too. His plan is for you to know that you are made in His image. 

YOLO

I read in an article that showed that most sexually active people are teenagers. I am sure you are not shocked. Nobody is too young anymore. With the amount of porn and internet access we have today, there's only so much masturbating a kid could do in a single night. Now, I know you are uncomfortable reading this. Trust me, I am also uncomfortable, as I write. It's better to talk about the things that affect us and be uncomfortable than to shamelessly have sex and not think about what we did. 

In High School and in college, life changes for most people. There's pressure to date somebody. Pressure to have sex. Pressure to drink alcohol and pressure to be involved in all sorts of things. I wish I could say I was perfect, but I am not. And you know what, I thank God I do not have to be perfect, however, that shouldn't mean we should live however we want. We have the Bible to guide us into making the right choices. 

The effects of sexual encounters

Sex is God's gift to man. Sexual activity is only preserved for people who are in holy matrimony. God designed marriage as an institute where people could have sex with no feelings of guilt, fear and emotional heartaches. Having sex out of the context of a marriage relationship only manifests heart aches and pain. 

You might be having fun and feeling good in all of that sexual rush and excitement, but what it creates is memories that we cannot easily forget. If you are reading this and I struck a cord, I am sorry. I only write to help us understand the traumatic effects of sexual encounters. Having sex changes you psychologically. And depending on how often you do it, it creates a bond with the person with whom you share a sexual encounter. 

God can  Loosen the bonds

For in that day,"
says the Lord of Heaven's Armies,
"I will break the yoke from their necks
and snap their chains.
Foreigners will no longer be their masters. - Jeremiah 30:8 (NLT)

Here's what God is willing to do for us. He is able to cut off all kinds of bonds we might have created with some people from our past. He is able to break them and tear them apart. Why does God want you to be sexually pure as a single person? I want you to also understand that when I say single, I mean every person that is not married. You are single and not dating. You are single and searching but not dating. You are single and have found but not yet official and not dating. You are single as you are dating. And you are single and engaged. Where are you in the singleness spectrum? God is reminding us that we are truly created in His image. We need to start functioning as people created in the image of God. 

Strip off every sin

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. - Hebrews 12:1 (NLT)

God has a part to play in ensuring that we enjoy being single. Much as He plays the bigger role, we also have a role to play. The Bible says, we should strip off all kinds of sin. Let us strip off sexting. Let us strip off masturbating. Let us strip off drinking. Let us strip of watching porn. Let us strip off unhealthy relationships. We need to strip it all off. What the bible promises cannot work out until we do our part. If a recipe book promises to give us some nice cake, we must understand that the ingredients play a big role. The success you have in a relationship is dependent on how successful you are as a single person. It's only when we are single and focused on pleasing God that we can fulfill our purpose. All these other things will only slow us down. Don't just pray for a good relationship, as you pray, I hope you are also making yourself into a good partner. A relationship is between two people. The success of your relationship is dependent on your individuality.  

Wherever you are in your singleness spectrum, the most important one however is the one where you are truly single and are not in any type of romantic relationship. God wants to bless you and to help you understand the importance of your relationship with Him and the relationship that you have with yourself. 

Note: I apologize for giving off raw deets like that. I really understand why we want to be relationships and do all sorts of things just to get into one. The best relationship you will ever have is the one you have with God. Never ever forget that. God bless you if you made it this far! Shalom.