One of the things that we find hard to do sometimes is to be ourselves. When we meet extraordinary people, I don't know what triggers on our minds to make us act different from who we really are. Sometimes its because we want to be accepted, other times I guess it just happens. The problem with not being yourself is that you present a different persona to the people you meet. Living two different lives is exhausting. You need to enjoy being yourself. 

Know who you are 

We already covered this in the first chapter. We learned that we are made in the image of God. But we also have to accept that we are not going to be like other people. Everybody has what they may call little 'eccentricities' which make us look odd. Even Jesus had that. Jesus was the oddest person that ever lived on Earth. But there is a reason for that. He didn't come Earth, He came from Heaven. Jesus behaved in a way that is normal in Heaven. And He was comfortable with who He is. He was proud to be who He is. 

The Father and I are one." - John 10:30 (NLT)

Jesus was proud to be one with His Father. He never changed for anyone. He was Himself. All the time. 

You still need your individuality in a relationship 

Relationships are a mixture of different personalities. You don't need to become subsumed in a relationship. There also has to be a place for your individuality. The problem of allowing relationships to give you an identity is that it eats away at your individuality If for so long you identified as an 'us', it becomes so difficult to function as a single person. That's why, people who become subsumed in their relationships won't even grow before getting into another relationship. Life is not about jumping from one relationship to another. You also need time to develop yourself and to know who you are. Especially, to know who you are in God. That's very important. I have a room mate and we do many things together. We both study the same courses and we attend the same church and many things we do together with regard to maintaining the house and living conditions. Even though he and I are close, we have two different personalities. Even same sex relationships have to be healthy. You cannot always be together and always be around each other. You need time to yourself, just alone. To understand yourself. I am not talking isolating yourself and being away from God, and people. I mean proper retreats where you grow in God. Everything in our lives should be about God. 

Your worth is not dependent on external factors 

It's only when you are truly single that you can know who you are. I'll say this again. I am not against relationships, if it should seem so. I am merely just concerned about how we can neglect everything, including our spirituality to be in a relationship with somebody we like. I also want you to know that being single requires special determination and commitment to yourself as an individual. We learned that after you learn how to love God, you have to learn how to love yourself. But we skip this part and go straight to loving our partners without even understanding ourselves. You won't know everything there is to know when you are single. But at least, know something. 

When I started out as a writer on Wattpad three years ago, I was so concerned about how many people read and voted and commented. Honestly I do appreciate that. It's always amazing to read a comment and to know that somebody voted. It is. But even that can make us lose sight of pursuing God. I have seen even among Christians, that life becomes a competition over who had the most reads and the most votes. Having the most reads is not a yardstick one uses to measure how good a christian book is. I have read some amazing books here that nobody seems to have liked. It's about God. You should understand that as a believer, your motive towards everything you do is important. You cannot have much ministry here without prayer and knowing God. That's why all through this book, my emphasis has been on knowing God. Your worth is not connected to who likes you or doesn't like you, your worth is strongly connected to the relationship you have with Jesus. The minute that is thrown away, it's sad and perhaps sorrowful. 

Who are you without social media?

Are you the same everywhere? Or only Christian here? Friends, Spirituality is no joke. It's real. And God expects us to do our part. Life is hard. But it's harder when we don't know God. 

For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? - Mark 8:36 (NKJV)

We might have the best looks and the best life out there. Its good. But the one thing that God looks at is our spirituality. Why is that important? Because Spirituality is everything. Being single is important because we get to understand that life is spiritual, but if we are single, and don't grow, when would we ever know God? I used to think it was impossible to have a certain kind of life in God. Then I realized I was too concerned about how people saw me and what they thought about me. When I started to see myself in light of what the word of God says, I stopped caring about people's opinions. 

The truth is, whether we like it or not, people will always be opinionated. People will always criticize. People will always judge. That's the world we live in. But we are above that. Look at what the Bible says:

 For whatever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—[]our faith. - 1 John 5:4 (NKJV)

To overcome this world, you have to be born of God. Don't be ashamed to be a Christian. Let's grow in God enough to put away all tastes for worldly pleasure. When we do that, then we can overcome the world. You cannot overcome something you haven't conquered yet. You also cannot overcome worldliness if you are not in God. 

In my own family, some people don't like me for choosing God. There were times when I was criticized for taking life in a very spiritual manner. But I'll tell you what helped me overcome. When an attack comes from your family, its more painful than any other kind of attack. But when you know who you are in God, you'll overcome all kinds of attacks. 

Encourage yourself in the Lord

Now David was greatly distressed, for the people spoke of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was []grieved, every man for his sons and his daughters. But David strengthened himself in the Lord his God. - 1 Samuel 30:6 (NKJV)

I also discovered that, there's times you have no one to stand with you. Days as such exist. And when they come, you'll have to encourage yourself in God. Guys, we have God. That in itself is enough! We don't need anything else. Yes, trouble comes. Issues arise. Life becomes difficult, but in the midst of it all, we should never forget that we have God. 

The Lord is good,
A stronghold in the day of trouble;
And He knows those who trust in Him. - Nahum 1:7 (NKJV)

Your Christianity will be tested. And when that times comes, remember who you are. One of the most interesting scenes I ever saw in the first Lion King movie was that one scene when Simba talked to his Father. He was at some river and while looking at his reflection, he saw his father. The father said something amazing. Mufasa said: You have forgotten me because you forgot who you are. He said something like that. The last words Mufasa also said were quite striking. He said: Remember who you are. 

Is it possible to forget who you are? Yes it is! The bible says, The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble, and He knows those who trust in Him. Do you trust God? Enjoy being single and learn to love God. Everything you do right now will only help you later in the future. I never understood the power of saving until I started doing it. Saving seems harsh, when there's also something to use the money for. In the same way, being single will seem harsh because when you are single, it doesn't mean you won't notice cute guys and it doesn't we(brothers) won't notice the cute girls. But we are in saving mode. Awaiting to be with the one the Father chose for us. Shalom. 

My prayer to you: Father, I pray for everyone today. Make every reader the epitome of excellence in all kinds of relationships. May we enjoy relationships of good quality. May we enjoy friendships that help us grow in you Lord. Thank you for every reader. Father, bless them all and guide them into building the right relationship. In the mighty name of Jesus.    

Note: This is my last chapter. Thank you all for being amazing. God bless you all. Shalom.