“Those are…”

The word wouldn’t come out. It was stuck in his throat the more he looked. He has said the word more than a hundred times in his life, but now it left like venom.

His mouth was dry, eyes wide in acknowledgement of what was in front of him. His head was overwhelmed from so much happening in the past few hours. Johnathan came back beaten and crushed pleading for Evan to take him away. At first it was a bizarre and unreal request, but the more tears were shed it was obvious it was the only right thing to do.

In the back of Evan’s head were just questions and theories of what could happen. All his research on mermaids never told the outcome of taking them out of the water. He recalled how uncomfortable Johnathan felt when the waves didn’t touch his tail. How something had to be touching the salty water.

The bound between him and ocean was strong, but now it was broken. Broken into a bathtub of water, slim, and scales. It was beyond what Evan would imagine and probably Johnathan too by the look on his face.

He was frightened and in pain. Evan rushed to his side, placing his hands on either side of Johnathan’s face and rubbed smoothing circles with his thumbs. His blue eyes were blown. Fear practically consumed him.

“Johnathan, breathe. Tell me what happened.”

Those comforting hands distracted him from the pain for a split second. He ached from the waist below. All the new body parts he woke up to felt like blades. Inside he could feel his lungs working twice as hard for his gills were no more.

Even through all of this he tried to do what Evan told him. Johnathan breathed in deeply then exhaled trying to calm his nerves.

When he could regain a steady heart rate he began to talk. “I…I was having a nightmare. They were beating me and started cutting my tail,” Johnathan took in a shaky breathe. “Then I woke up in so much pain, Evan. I don’t know what happened.”

The thumbs on his cheeks kept their circular motion the more he talked. Evan nodded his head in understanding then looked at his lover’s legs. They were as real as his. It was like he didn’t even have a tail to begin with.

Evan went to touch but the second his finger graced the skin Johnathan shook his head furiously. The youngest retracted his hand then placed it back onto a pale cheek. It seemed neither of them couldn’t have a break.

For days they were alone. So far away from each other their worlds were crumbling. Now they were eye to eye in Evan’s bathroom. A new pair of legs replacing what made the other so different.

The Asian unplugged the tub’s drain then grabbed a towel from a cabinet. Gingerly he dried off his beloved’s body being ever so gentle around his legs. It was the only thing he could think of.

Through the stabbing pain and confusion Johnathan still felt the safety Evan always gave him. It submerged his self being in a warmth he craved. Like the warmth of his arms sliding under his knees and back. The warmth of Evan carrying him out of the bathroom and into another room.

It was dark besides the moonlight shining through one of the windows. He felt the soft cushion of the bed on his back then shuffling of clothes came from his right. Evan was back at his side in seconds slipping briefs up his legs.

His motion was hesitant the more he went up, but he let the elastic settle on Johnathan’s hips. Then the bed dipped as Evan joined him.

“How bad do they hurt?” he asked as his arms snaked around the older man’s chest.

Johnathan’s tense shoulders eased once they hit the bare chest be hide him. He could feel Evan’s breathe against his hair while he pulled him closer. They’ve cuddled before, but not as close and comfy as this. There wasn’t sand under them or a chilly breeze.

It was just the softness of the blankets and skin on skin. Something he dreamed about, but now that it’s real he wasn’t quite sure.

“It feels like someone is stabbing them,” Johnathan murmured his reply.

Evan peppered his head and neck with small kisses. Whispering apologizes for things he never did. Before Johnathan knew it his eyes closed from exhaustion. The muscular arms around him kept him close to the only good thing about his life as the lips against his neck said those three special words.

____________

When the rays of the sun reached through the bedroom window Evan awoke with a frown. Be hide his eye lids he could see the light pouring in starting the new day. He didn’t want to open his eyes or even move.

His right arm was numb under a heavy weight as he felt someone’s soft breathing against his chest. One eye peeked open to be greeted by dark brown hair. Then he remembered the mayhem of last night. The scream Johnathan let out and his legs.

They were still there, firmly planted on the bed unmoving. At least the man in his arms fell asleep without another problem. He was so too comfortable spooning Johnathan to get up.

Watching his shoulder rise along with his breathing was an experience he always wanted to witness. Evan couldn’t help it anymore. He kissed the edge of Johnathan’s ear and whispered his name like a wonderful secret.

The older man stirred before groaning. His hand shakenly reached down to his thigh. Evan sat up on his elbow and saw the pained expression on Johnathan’s face. His eyes were shut tight and teeth were gritting against each other.

“Johnathan?”

“They’re still there.”

His baby blues opened to look down on the limbs. Many emotions swarmed deep into them before he snapped himself out of it to look at the Asian next to him. He was elegant in the way the sun light shined be hide him with a halo glow. His hair was messy; the faux hawk he always put up was lopsided and uneven. A face full of worry with tired eyes never looked so nice before.

He was beautiful and always would be.

Evan leaned closer placing a light kiss to Johnathan’s cheek. This was their first morning together. Their bodies pressed against each other mixing their body heat while waiting for the sleep to rid them for good. Evan’s smile was radiant. His arms curled around Johnathan’s frame and brought him as close as he could.

With a giggle the older man snuggled right up against Evan’s chest. Kisses covered his cheek and forehead before traveling down to his neck. It was such a pleasant moment until Johnathan tried to squirm away.

His legs burned once movement took place. He closed in on himself, trying so hard to hold the tears in. It felt like the world was giving him everything he wanted, but stabbing him in the process so he never fully enjoyed it. Evan ceased his smooches and rubbed a comforting hand against Johnathan’s arm.

It felt like needles were poking the inside of his legs. The pain wasn’t as great, but it was still unbearable. But there was Evan, calming him down like he did last night. If he stayed like this for the rest of his life he would go through with it just to be with the Asian.

“How bad do they hurt?” he asked in a hushed voice, it was deep with slumber that sent a small shiver down Johnathan’s spine.

“Not as much as last night, but it still hurts like a motherfucker.”

Evan slipped off the bed and made his way over to his computer to power it on. Watchful blue eyes starred at his sun kissed skin. His pajama pants hung low on his hips, muscles contracting when he moved. A face so sharp and handsome focused on a monitor.

It was the same Evan, but the morning version. The fresh out of bed version Johnathan never got to see. Now there he was bent over clicking away at something. Johnathan would rather have him be back in bed.

“Has this ever happened before?” the youngest questioned, “I mean the whole legs thing.”

“I’ve never heard of it happening before. We never go near the shore,” Johnathan uttered. His eyes wondered down the length of his new legs. The pain had subsided but didn’t completely vanish.

Evan nodded before he stretched his arms above his head with a yawn. He was exhausted beyond belief. This was the first time he had a decent sleep for three hours and it was all because of Johnathan. He was a mess without him. Now they were a mess together but happier.

His feet took him to Johnathan’s side of the bed and bent down to meet his lips. Morning breathe wasn’t the best thing, but he ignored it for the sake of his taste. Johnathan’s lips only had a tiny hint of salt to them now. Everything was still the same, but what made him a water dweller was slowly dying.

When they broke apart bright smiles were exchanged. Evan cupped the older man’s cheeks and squished them together. Then he processed to scatter kisses around his face while Johnathan laughed under him.

This time he didn’t squirm for fear his legs would start to hurt, but that didn’t stop his hands from attempting to push his partner away. Along with the kisses Evan spared moments to whisper “I missed you” and “I love you”. He was beyond affectionate. He was deeply in love.

So deeply in love with the man with a golden voice. The man that lived in the sea and swam with a tail. He was no longer the mermaid though. Johnathan’s body had adapted too much to his new surroundings. He was all human. It had shattered his heart in the beginning thinking that Johnathan would become uncomfortable with the sudden change.

Instead the man he loved was giggling while he peppered his face with light kisses. Last night he was panicky and scared. All Evan could think was to take him into his own arms and hold him until everything was better. It worked yet something still lingered in the back of his mind. The “how’s” and “why’s” were what ate at him.

There was zero information about it. Even Johnathan didn’t know a single thing. It was a mystery that had to have an answer and Evan would find it. Not today though. He was far too busy showering affection onto his lover.

When the two had to catch their breath Evan offered breakfast and went to the kitchen get something simple for them to eat. The oldest laid there on the bed looking around where his eyes could view until his beloved came and sat him up against the headboard.

“Better? Now you can actually see everything,” Evan laughed while handing him a bowl of cheerios with milk.

Throughout the rest of the day Evan told what his normal routine would be while avoiding what he really wanted to talk about. Everything seemed to be happier and relaxed. There was no reason to ruin that. The questions still beckoned in the back of his head.  Questions about what happened under the ocean.
_

____________

For two weeks Johnathan was immobile on the bed. His lover tried his best to entertain him with food and the internet, but he was becoming reckless. Every time he dared to move a leg muscle the same familiar pain would shoot throughout his body.

It was agony the way Evan got to move around freely. Since they met Johnathan wanted to walk with him. Hold his hand and walk outside in the blinding sun, but he couldn’t. The world looked down at him and laughed in his face.

Evan noticed how irritated he was getting. He brought in his gaming system to let Johnathan release all the stress with a game. It failed horribly. The oldest almost threw the controller then decided to quit out of more rage.

One afternoon while Evan was on his computer making music Johnathan watched him from the bed. He could hear the light vibrations coming from the headphones. Then his gaze went down to his legs and then to his toes.

Slowly he wiggled his big toe without a trace of pain. It was a small achievement, but to his lack of patience Johnathan tried to move his foot. The yelp that came through his lips caught the attention of Evan who quickly took off his headphones and rushed to his side.

Worriedness was spread all over his face as Johnathan only glared at his limbs. They laughed at him. Taunted him with something he couldn’t have. For the next three days he hadn’t try to move again. He only sat there in annoyance and boredom.

“Evan?”

The patter of feet on hardwood floor approached the bedroom door. The Asian walked over to his companion with a glowing smile.

Johnathan on the over hand was not smiling. Instead he held out his hands which Evan took into his own quickly without question. Then Johnathan wiped the smile off of his face. The older man began to drag his legs over the edge of the bed.

His expression and panting showed how much it hurt until he sat on the edge looking up at a very shocked and confused Evan.

“I want to walk.”

“But you can’t walk. Just lay back down.”

“No,” Johnathan cut him off. His eyes were serious as they looked up at earthy orbs above him.

Defeated, Evan nodded his head and wrapped an arm around the other’s back. There was no way he could deny his request. Slowly he got Johnathan up to his feet. Once he was up the needling pain in his muscles weakened his balance and Johnathan had to lean against his partner for support.

Carefully and slow Evan guided him over to his computer desk that wasn’t too far. On the older man’s face was so much pain. Pure agonizing pain while biting back tears with each stabbing step he took. When he reached the desk he shook his head and clung to the other.

He had reached his limit. Evan scooped him up in his arms and took him back to the bed where he laid with him. They stayed close like they always did as Johnathan quietly sobbed into the Asian’s chest. It was a big step for him, literally. Evan was proud and told him how much he was.

The next day Johnathan awoke to the warm body of his lover. It was a peaceful morning until Evan got up to do his own thing. What the oldest wasn’t expecting was for Evan to pull him to the edge of the bed and ask if he was ready to walk again.

Memories of yesterday resurfaced and haunted him, but Evan insisted. Johnathan couldn’t argue with him. He let the bigger man hold him up with a supporting arm around his back and they repeated the route as last time.

Hours and weeks turned into months of walking. Some days Johnathan didn’t need to hold onto Evan so much, but other days he sobbed and begged to be put back onto the bed. Every good and bad day meant progress.

Johnathan just had to keep it in mind. He had to bite through the aching pain and Evan was right there beside him. Every morning he woke him up to start walking around the room. Each bit progress made each of the two open up more.

Evan began talking to his friends again and working out. Johnathan opened up about the days he spent in a cell. The night he told about the horrible experience tears were spilled, but were kissed away with gentle lips.

Once Johnathan was getting comfortable as he could they expanded their walking outside of the bedroom. The stairs were off limits until his balance became better and Evan wasn’t so terrified of him falling. It was the first time Johnathan got to see the rest of the house. Sitting on the couch watching the big screen was his new favorite thing.

He found the shows to be silly, but very entertaining. On late nights the two of them would cuddle close with a blanket and a bowl of popcorn. Usually Johnathan was the first to fall asleep on his partner’s chest. Evan didn’t want to wake him so they slept on the couch.

During their home therapy sessions they grew as one. If the youngest wasn’t gone running errands they were together in some sort of way. Whether it be hugging on the couch or looking at each other while the moon light shined upon their features in the darkness.

Their fingers touched any bit of skin they could. Feeling how surreal this was and how warm the other was. It was every night. The two admiring each other in the dark, letting their fingers run through raven hair or trace the sharpness of a jaw.

When it came to be too overwhelming they collided into a kiss. One so meaningful and passionate like their first one so long ago. Hands wandered down further than they have before, but never too far while other hands tangled themselves in locks of hair.

The kiss would become messy as tongues met in wet caves. And like every night Evan was the one to break apart first before anything got too heated. He apologized in a hushed voice, but Johnathan was there to hold him tight and kiss him goodnight.

It was as far as they got in their growing relationship. There was no real rush to go any further like other couples. They were happy with where they are. Living together, spending time together, helping each other. For so long they wished to do everything together and now that the chance has come into their lives they still couldn’t enjoy it fully. Not yet at least.