a clammy layer of sweat coats wooyoung's palms as he edges through the hallway leading to san's dormitory. his tummy sizzles with pops and crackles, mimicking the sound of brewing popcorn; wooyoung's heart feels like it's about to implode within its ribcage due to his anticipation. the pace of his footsteps is rapid, frantic through the seemingly endless labyrinth of corridors, and his knuckles are in the process of turning white when they finally lift to the nostalgically familiar door awaiting him.

running a hand through his hair, wooyoung breathes a sigh — the farthest possible from calm and collected. it trembles as it slips past the curve of his lips, unrelentingly excited.

wooyoung can hardly hear his own knocks over the frenzied drumming of his heart.

san and wooyoung have done this so many times this far, you'd think it would've gotten easier by now. you'd think wooyoung would've done something more, anything more, than just stand there, mute and motionless, when san's door swings open. when san's eyes lock onto his own, when san's arms fold around his body, when san's hands tangle into his hair. when san is embracing him, whispering to him, hushing his cries.

wooyoung doesn't feel the tears soaking his cheeks until san's thumbs are wiping them away. perhaps it's the incredulity of it all, being with san again after so devastatingly long, that prevents his human function to move or speak. wooyoung isn't even completely certain he's breathing anymore.

"sweetheart," san murmurs to him, a soft, fragile inquiry. he's holding wooyoung's face between his palms, eyes glistening.

with trembling breaths, wooyoung's jaw contracts, lips parting. an accidental sound issues from the back of his throat, somewhere between a whimper and a sob, and he reaches for san, his chest. yearning to just feel. "sannie," whispers wooyoung feebly, afraid by the wobble in his voice that he'll cry again. he isn't exactly sure why.

"hi," san says quietly, softly, his fingers soothing wooyoung's cheekbones. "hi, baby. are you with me?"

"mmh." fingers gripping onto san's jacket, wooyoung mindlessly waddles into his chest. he nestles there, nuzzles as close as he possibly can. san's warmth seeps into him and wooyoung couldn't ask for anything more, ever.

he understands now, why missing san hurts so bad.

san cradles wooyoung head, tucks him where he knows he wants, so gently he might be mistaking him for a china vase. "you're okay," he reminds wooyoung. that's all he says, all he needs to say. for san knows wooyoung doesn't need anything more or less right now, no matter how meaningful his words may be. wooyoung just needs him, his presence and his touch — so san will give him that the best he can. he'd be willing to do so until his very last breaths, if wooyoung needed.

one of san's hands falls to wooyoung's nape, pads of his fingers tenderly caressing, squeezing, massaging his skin, pliant beneath the contact. when wooyoung visibly sinks into the gesture, his taut figure relaxing in san's arms, falling into ease and safety, san smiles to himself.

wooyoung sighs against san's chest, a content, comfortable breath. "missed you a lot, sannie."

"i know, my angel. i missed you, too."

"really missed you," wooyoung repeats, like there's more to it, the weak mumble somehow blazing in passion and love. "missed you so, so much. it— it was..." he screws his eyes shut. "was hard."

san's hold on wooyoung tightens, as if he fears he's about to vanish into thin air. "i'm here," he tells him.

the mere two words crack wooyoung's heart into two and heals its wounds all at once.

"i'm here, and i'm never, ever not going to be. okay?"

tears gloss over wooyoung's eyes as he withdraws from san's sweater. he looks up at san through a determined sniffle, notices the concern wrinkling his features, his fingers trembling the slightest bit when he reaches for san's face. wooyoung strokes his thumbs across the bones of san's jaw and nods his head. "okay, sannie." san nods with him, encouragingly, and wooyoung cracks a small smile.

"i love you," he says — without thinking. he doesn't need to.

searching wooyoung's eyes briefly, a grin gradually finds san's mouth. wide and bright, gleaming with joy. "i love you," he whispers back, close and intimate. "i love you."

wooyoung's smile deepens. glowing in adoration, he leans up to press a kiss to san's lips, short yet as sweet as ever. san, however, doesn't find that to be enough; his fingers curl around wooyoung's nape as he dips down for another taste, and another and another and another. until his veins entirely consume wooyoung's sweetness, carries the addictive flavour through his bloodstream all the way to his heart, which only beats erratically inside his chest at the love-filled taste.

san breathes, hot and long, over the curve of wooyoung's nose. "i love you," he murmurs once more.

"i know, sannie." wooyoung giggles, and grazes his warm nose against san's. he feels him smile. "love you, too. loads."

"i don't think anything can beat hearing you say that in person."

teasingly, wooyoung cocks his head. "really? then, i love you. i love you so much, san. i love you, i love you, i love—"

wooyoung squeals loudly when san sweeps him off his feet. his arms are embracing his hips as he spins him in one, then two, then three circles — and wooyoung is giggling, laughing, beaming out of pure bliss, because he's with his san again and nothing has ever felt better and—

"i love you," san tells him once he's back on the ground, half breathless. their fronts are pressed together, arms hugging whichever body parts they can reach, foreheads resting against one another's.

"good," wooyoung mumbles, dazed. "you should."

"yeah." pecking the skin beneath wooyoung's eye, precisely where his mole sits, san smiles. "i should."

wooyoung does, too — until his expression deflects into a displeased frown. "sannie."

"hmm?" brows furrowed into apprehensive confusion, san's eyes dart across every inch of wooyoung's features for something. "what is it, sweetheart?"

"am cold."

the sight of wooyoung's lips thrown out into a grumbling pout tugs a quiet, fond laugh from san's throat. "what— so you're just gonna let yourself die from hypothermia 'cause of me?" he returns lightheartedly. "some commitment you have, wooyo."

grinning relentlessly, san pulls the hands laced behind his neck into his own and intertwines his fingers with wooyoung's. he takes a lazy step back, resulting in them stumbling disorderly into his dormitory; san chooses to blind himself to his faults at the exhilarated giggle wooyoung sings. bright and lovely and contagious — unmistakably san's favourite sound in the world. no matter how many melodies he sings, nothing makes his heart beam more than the chime behind wooyoung's tongue.

a self-indulgent decision, san presses a kiss to wooyoung's jaw, before detangling their limbs.

"where're you going?" wooyoung mumbles protestingly.

"i..." san kisses wooyoung once more, this time meeting the corner of his mouth, as if to revoke his grumpiness. "am going to put your luggage away," he explains, like it's plainly common knowledge.

not to wooyoung, it isn't. he finds that the mundane favour makes his heart swell.

"oh, yeah," he mutters, briefly turning to his bags still lounging in the hallway. "forgot about that."

"i figured."

wooyoung glowers at the suggestive look across san's face, crossing his arms almost defensively as the latter deals with his suitcase first. "don't look at me like i just gave you a blowjob."

"specific. do you want to give me a—"

"san!" wooyoung shoves the elder's chest, flustered — which he can't bare to admit to himself — at the pleased grin on san's lips. he turns away, yet can't escape san's enamoured giggle as he rolls wooyoung's suitcase into the dormitory, wheels rumbling obnoxiously against hollow oak. not that wooyoung would choose to.

"i'll be a minute," san announces over his shoulder. "go n' get something to drink, baby. you need it."

"mm, okay," wooyoung calls after him, and smiles appreciatively . "hurry, though."

the thoughtless widening of wooyoung's lips makes him feel nothing but silly, a humiliating red colouring his cheeks when he finds his gaze lingering upon san's shoulders. once the unearthly figure disappears from his sore sight, wooyoung finally takes it upon himself to oblige by san's request; and as if it's his second home here, he struggles to find a glimpse of hesitation in his steps as he meanders into the orange hue of san's kitchen, lights dim yet discernible.

wooyoung only notes the low hum of the occupied microwave after a staggered stammer reaches his hearing.

"oh. shit, erm—"

the voice is deep, noticeably deeper than san's, and wooyoung can barely refrain from cursing aloud.

this cannot be happening.

with near reluctance, wooyoung meets mingi's wide gaze. he seriously looks like he's about to cry out of anxiousness.

"hey," mingi greets, regardless. or tries to — his voice wobbles in the process.

wooyoung fails to bear any empathy for the boy leant over the kitchen counter. is hey really all he's going to say? you must be fucking joking. "uhm—" instinctually, wooyoung crosses his arms over his chest. "hi?"

it comes off more spiteful than wooyoung intends. he doesn't care.

"god, this is not how i wanted to do this," mingi mutters, presumably to himself — but wooyoung hears.

his fists clench in their position as he passes mingi to the fridge, chin held high, and maybe wooyoung is bitter as he refuses to spare him his attention as he snaps open a can of pepsi. the tingling in wooyoung's throat loosens the agitation caught in his joints a slight, as he mercilessly gulps down a long drag of the drink. wooyoung nudges the fridge door shut.

"do what?" he finally inquires, curiosity tarnishing his careless facade.

mingi looks down at his lap. "i just— i've been meaning to, uhm—" he breathes out, his following words a rush, "i'm really sorry, wooyoung. for— for the things i've done— for everything. i didn't mean anything i said to you, i was just— i was just angry." finally looking up at him, mingi's eyes brim with tears. "i shouldn't have taken it out on you, or san, and i'm— i'm sorry."

sure, san forewarned wooyoung that an apology was awaiting him, yet he's taken aback, still. uncertain with how to feel, wooyoung runs a hand through his hair and turns to mingi. he contemplates. "you don't... need to be sorry to me."

"what?" mingi looks distraught. like, super distraught. "no, i— i do. i do need to be sorry. and i really fucking am."

"i mean— yeah, i get that. i just—" suddenly, the cola sloshing around wooyoung's intestines thickens and he thinks he's about to be sick. "honestly, i don't care if you're sorry to me or not. that's not the problem," wooyoung admits quietly. a beat of silence passes. "you hurt san. like, you really badly hurt sannie, and i can't— i hate that." by now, wooyoung's voice has plummeted into a small, delicate whisper. "he... he means a lot to me. too much. i don't fucking know if there's even a word for it. so when people make him feel like that, like how you did, it's just... wrong. the worse thing. you know."

"yeah." mingi chuckles, half-heartedly. "yeah, i know. i'm still sorry, though. i need you to know that."

"well, i know now. so you're good," wooyoung says. maybe he's sugarcoating a lie. being so near mingi's presence makes wooyoung, quite frankly, want to punch him directly in the nose, but he'll cope.

and that's easy to say and act upon when san saunters into his view, eyes alight when they lock onto his. wooyoung would throw away the key forever if he could.

"uh, hi." san's expression is weary of the pair before them. "are we... okay here?"

"yup."

"perfect."

san blinks rapidly. "alright. great, even, because i need you for a second," he declares, eyes landing on wooyoung again. something glistens with them. "maybe a little longer, actually."

oh. shit. okay.

"me?" wooyoung says, followed by a shamelessly coy giggle leaving him. grinning just as bad, he takes san's hand when he offers so, unaffected by the childish gag of revolt mingi makes. how can he care when san looks at him like this, touches him like this?

as soon as they're out of mingi's impure sight and wooyoung is backed up into a wall, san peppers his jaw with pecks that tickle, cause wooyoung to squirm skittishly. san's hands are roaming his waist now, settling somewhere low, and wooyoung is only a giggling wreck as san's lips travel down to his throat. "san— sannie, hey," wooyoung musters between flushed cheeks, palms grasping san's neck to tilt his chin up at him.

"yeah?"

"what's this for?"

san straightens his posture, brows furrowing. "are you pretending to be stupid to fuck with me or do you actually—"

"sannie, what?"

"you're joking." it's slightly disturbing, how san looks like he's about to guffaw in wooyoung's face.

"i'm not joking about anything. seriously, bubs." wooyoung pinches san's nape. "what are you talking about?"

the sculpt of san's features soften in a feeling wooyoung can't quite decipher — and it's not like he's spared the time to, either, because san pulls him into his chest, albeit gently, and fondly nuzzles into the crook of his neck.

wooyoung is nervous. "sannie?"

"it's past midnight," san mumbles to him, and it's then it hits wooyoung. it's then warmth creeps up on him, swells his heart, waters his eyes, tenses his fingers into san's jacket. and perhaps san notices wooyoung's movement, because he smiles into the latter's neck, hums a note too vague to distinguish, and leaves a long kiss against his skin.

"happy birthday, my lover." san peeks out from his spot, grinning excitably from ear to ear. wooyoung absently strokes his dimple. "did you forget?"

"i think i would have."

"i have to do everything for you, don't i?" san teases lightheartedly, before leaning in again. he kisses wooyoung's cheek, once, then twice, drowning him in a flood of adoration. "i don't mind, though. happy birthday, wooyo. again." a third kiss. "happy birthday, my angel."

wooyoung finds that he shakes his head in disbelief. san looks so... so happy for him, his ears pink and his eyes twinkling, all because it's his stupid fucking birthday, and—

"i love you," wooyoung tells san. for, what, the nth time tonight?

even then, he thinks he could go on till the sun rises.

###

woo_jung

31 293 likes
woo_jung my day :O && back w my people 🤍
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PINNED
where_san_sings love of my life
| woo_jung when chuu sang that song ab yves
| where_san_sings make out with me

where_san_sings ur the most beautiful person ever
   | woo_jung ?-!3))3))3):£ love u :(

crackerphobic HAPPY BIRTHHHHH BABY still kinda mad u left the country for ur special day though
   | woo_jung sorry steph i just needed my sannie :(
      | crackerphobic love 😓😓😓

lifeonmars happy birthday woo!!!! you're so so amazing <3
   | woo_jung hwa ☹️ thank you

j.yun HAPPY BDAY BABE EEEEK I LOVE U FOREVER 💗💗💗
   | woo_jung ILYSM YUN <33 see me soon pls
      | j.yun oh dont u worry ;)

beyonke happy 20th bff. unspeakably glad you exist in my timeline 🫶🏼
| woo_jung i am Not crying over u kevin moon there is no way in hell
| beyonke dang thought i broke u for a sec

princessgi happy birthday :)
| woo_jung thanks

jjongch happy birthday wooyoung!! forever grateful we met again 🫂 also why the fuck are you getting so old
| woo_jung WE WERE LITERALLY THE SAME AGE BEFORE TODAY SHUT UR MOUTH and me too i just dont wanna admit it 🙏

hongjoong.k happy bday :) there's no one like u (literally)
| woo_jung backhanded ass compliment but thanks anyway joong

everythingcoolwastaken I AM NOT LATE EVERUONE ELSE IS JUST EARLY OAKY happy birthdya u absolute fucker
| woo_jung friends r so disappointing😒😒

where_san_sings

64 724 likes
where_san_sings prettier than a forsythia 🤎 happy 20th, mon chéri. thank you for existing, it will forever be you. love u till i die.
comments on this post have been limited

woo_jung WHAT.

woo_jung this is insane. so so insane

woo_jung HELL CAN NO ONE COMMENT BESIDES ME ??? losers :P

woo_jung wait but sannie this wasn't a good idea i think even ur stupid fans have more to say than me im just 😮😮😮 rn

woo_jung fucking hell i love u so much i can't even tell u. till i die and beyond <3

woo_jung oh and btw u need to kiss me so hard when u come out the shower or i Will fucking doxx u no hesitation

###

a/n: happy thursday evening 🙀

my gf mentioned sing me to sleep on call todays n i was like Oh. i'm a writer. like i. write. and people read it. so HI hi hi hi hello i was meant to update like on monday but i had two exams on monday n then i had an exam on wednesday n one today n i want to be D word. but. sing me to sleep 😞😞😞😞😞😭😭😭😭☹️☹️😭😭😭😭😭😭😞☹️☹️😭😭😞☹️ shes back! im veryvery sorry for the delay

although i feel like it sometimes (a lot of times) i have not died i just have exams. my last one is on june 16th which is also ateez cb day so yes i will b like properly returning after then!!!

extra apology to lost and found readers i am more miserable than u r abt it i swear </3 i haven't given up on her we're just. taking a healthy step back.

i'm absolutely shit at this but i love u thank u for everything thank u for waiting and liking my stuff and and and ☹️ i love u ur the bestbestbest