sannie
was told u left for canada earlier today
i rly doubt u care to hear from me and i'm
sorry for continuously bothering u like this
i just don't know what to do w myself until i know for sure that ur okay
and i hope more than anything u are wooyo
i'm so sorry for doing this to u
seen

###

ur uncles side bitches

cob
so
are yoy goung to talk to us or not

kev
^^ bcuz i'm sure leaving for the studio as soon as u get home from an entire other continent after ignoring us for almost two days means u're perfectly well woo

me
huh
i just need to practice relax

kev
have u even eaten after ur flight
or done anything at all to take care of urself?

me
i can order it's fine

cob
we just got chciken for yoi
if i set off now i thinj i can make it there witjiut it gettinf cold

me
thanks but i can have it once i'm back
there doesn't need to be any rush does there

cob
i'm alreadt omw

me
cobie
u don't have to honest
nothings going to happen to me bc i haven't eaten in a few hours chill out

cob
i dont like repeatinf msyekf
i also dint like changjng my plans so you're jsut gonna havr to deal witg me

me
why are u guys acting like this

kev
do we look brainless to u???

me
i mean
if u rly want me to answer that then

kev
say wtv but when it comes to reading u we're pretty intelligent

me
and what is there to read ab me ??

kev
fucking dumbass istg

cob
i am two minites away so we'll find out soon enoufh!

me
i'm literally fine??
what r u talking ab

kev
yeah?
how's ur singer boy then?

me
what
im so confused rn lmao
seen

###

wooyoung's hands start to get clammy. he really cannot be faced with jacob bae, who somehow seems to know exactly what's gone on, right now. or anytime soon, realistically. knowing the elder for three years, and living with him for almost one, he knows firsthand how this is going to go — jacob won't let him rest until he tells all.

and wooyoung can't tell all, even if he wants to. he's not ready to lose the few shards of himself he has left.

a fraction of wooyoung wants to accuse yunho of breaking his promise and gossiping to his best friends about... that, but he knows that that wasn't the case. unfortunately, jacob and kevin just know him far too well.

wooyoung's hearing catches faint footsteps padding across the floor outside the studio. he rushes to his side, turning his music on, making it look like he's here for a genuine purpose.

he can't have jacob think otherwise; if so, there'll be no chance of wooyoung getting away with lying to him.

as the hinges of the door to the practice room creak open, the boy can only hope there is any chance of that happening to begin with.

"since when did you have the appetite to turn down chicken?" jacob questions, already seeing right through wooyoung. he hasn't even said a word as yet. nudging the door shut with his shoulder, jacob nears him, a plastic bag holding together for dear life between his fingers. "one trip without us, and you're suddenly chloe ting."

snorting, a small smile climbs onto wooyoung's mouth. "you're that much of a negative influence, cobie."

"yet you came back."

wooyoung's face falls. he figures jacob notices, too, but he simply pretends he doesn't hear the next words coming, running an anxious hand through his hair.

"so." jacob pauses, and wooyoung knows his head is telling him to for dramatic effect. "how badly did he fuck up?"

"he didn't." ignoring the bag jacob scoots towards his lap, wooyoung swallows. "i-i... it was me. i did it."

"unfortunately, i don't know what it is," jacob says softly.

wooyoung's fingers start to shake in between his laces. they don't even belong to the same sneakers he wore that night, but he wishes so badly he was back with san, bickering over stupid ribbons beneath the twinkle of the stars all over again. "he—" the mere syllable dries wooyoung's mouth out. he clears his throat.

"would it be easier if i guide you?" jacob asks, his head titled to one side. wooyoung chuckles dryly; they'd do this often when yeosang had just passed. his head budges into a small nod, regardless.

"how was the date?" wooyoung perks up, ready to fight for war, and jacob corrects himself quickly, "the very strictly platonic date."

shoulders drooping down, wooyoung brings his knees closer to himself. "it was... good."

"it was?"

"yeah," wooyoung answers. he doesn't even have to think about it. "we got there, and sannie — h-he liked it, i think. we... we ate a bit as well. he loved the cake." wooyoung laughs a bit, mostly to himself. though, he hears jacob join in just a bit. "uh, and we— we just talked for a while. it was— it was fun, honestly. really fun."

jacob's lips curve up, yet his eyes don't mirror any emotion similar. "i'm glad to hear that, woo. what... what happened next?"

"oh. u-uhm—" sadly, wooyoung smiles. he doubts you can call it that, however; due to the feelings his heart is pumping out, a frown would fit much better in its place. "we— we went back to his place."

"yeah? just the two of you?"

wooyoung pushes out a hum. "recently, mingi..." he trails off carelessly. "fuck him, i don't care."

jacob is laughing again, the expression drawn on the male before him ridiculously disgusted. it looks like he's just seen someone barf out tomatoes, and it makes the older wonder why that is. but wooyoung is on too much of a roll for jacob to get him distracted. "what happened at san's place, then?" he asks instead. "did you—"

"no!" wooyoung claims, a tad bit too defensively — and loudly. jacob's eyebrow raises, and wooyoung feels like he's being manipulated when his gaze falls back to the floor, muttering faintly, "w-well... almost."

"almost?"

wooyoung doesn't know why jacob feels the need to highlight the word, bold, bright and clear, but he doesn't have the effort to speak against it. mouth zipped shut, he finally brings the bag of takeout onto his thighs, starting to undo the unappealing knot at the top. he thinks of san again.

"why almost, woo, hm?" the tone of jacob's voice is gentle, and since wooyoung rarely ever hears it in such form, a pest in his head successfully persuades him to continue.

"i..." wooyoung's words halt in his throat, and, partially out of frustration, he rips the bag open. since when was it so difficult to fucking speak of all things? "i-i didn't let him," he manages.

"no?" jacob is confused, and wooyoung doesn't need to look at him to sense that. "why not?"

again, wooyoung keeps shut. he shimmies out one of the two boxes of chicken, placing it onto the wooden ground by his feet, before flicking the lid open. it looks good.

"woo..."

"hm?" playing innocent has always been a strength of wooyoung's. he looks up at jacob, blinking once deliberately, as if none of his previous words have registered into his mind. then, he grabs a chicken leg with his index finger and thumb, and shoves it into his face. "want one?"

"wooyoung." jacob is stern this time round.

"fine," wooyoung mumbles, shrugging his shoulders. "i didn't wanna share, anyway."

"it's yeosang, huh?"

fried chicken tickling the pink of his lips, wooyoung freezes at the mention of the boy who was once his best friend. a heavy feeling hovers in his chest, but in seconds, he rebuilds his prior facade, and harshly chomps his teeth into his food. maybe he's pushing it a bit much when he turns to jacob. "you sure you don't want some? it's so go—"

"i swear on kevin's life, i will snatch that chicken from your fucking mouth if you ignore me one more time," jacob threatens; he doesn't sound like he's joking, either.

"sure kevin would want that?" wooyoung mumbles, despite the fight in him flickering out.

jacob sighs. "c'mon, woo."

"fine," wooyoung decides nonchalantly. he even lets his half-eaten chicken tumble back into its box. "what do you wanna hear?"

"is everything too much?"

"depends on how bad it makes me feel." wooyoung refuses to meet jacob's gaze. somehow, however, he still knows he feels guilty. "go on, then. ask away."

it takes jacob a while — perhaps out of shock. "you said you didn't let san kiss you..."

"i... i-i wanted to ask him why," wooyoung whispers.

"why he wanted to kiss you?"

"yeah." wooyoung's voice is hoarse. "'cause, well... you know what happened with yeosang. he was just drunk stupid out of his mind and thought i looked good." he laughs a bit; he sounds crazy, and he can't help but imagine how san would feel if he had a peek into his mind. jacob doesn't say anything, although about half a minute has passed, so wooyoung mindlessly adds on, "guess i just didn't wanna have the same thing happen."

"oh my— wooyoung..."

pity, pity, pity. wooyoung clenches his eyes shut. "it's fine, cobie, please. honestly, it doesn't even matter, i just— i... i'd rather
not kill a second person, y'know."

"at this point, i don't care how much times i have to say this — none of that was your fault," jacob states sternly. sighing once more, his voice becomes softer, competing with the clouds. "none of it was your fault, woo. friends get in arguments all the time, accidents happen all the time."

"but—"

"no," jacob shuts wooyoung down immediately. "you didn't push yeosang onto that road, or someth— god, you didn't even want him to leave. so tell me. tell me how you are to blame for that happening?"

trembling, wooyoung wipes the back of his hands over his tear-ruined cheeks. "i-i made him mad, though, cobie—"

"using that logic, he made you upset, did he not?" all jacob receives is silence and a series of devastated sniffles. "for kissing you without meaning it?"

"but i sh-shouldn't have been," wooyoung argues through his relentless tears. by the looks of it, they aren't going to come to a stop any time soon. "i-it wasn't his fault h-he didn't like me back. if i just left it, it wouldn't have—"

wooyoung sobs. he sobs, gut-wrenching and raw, and it's so, so fucking stupid.

but when a pair of arms embraces his upper body, leaning his head into their shoulder, he latches onto their arms as if he deserves the empathy.

###

a/n: school having a meeting w my father ab my anxiety today oooo i am just so!! excited!!!

i am awfully fucked (no not the good fucked)