ur uncles side bitches

me
guys?
could one of yall come to the stud/

kev
hello is it important bff?

jacob
if it's ab sibger boy we're not avaikable

me
could one of yall/
could/
oh r u busy??

kev
i mean we're in an uber on the way to yk that cafe?? the one by that creepy ass park???

me
yeah yeah ik
that's pretty far tho so it's fine

kev
do u need us? we can turn around if u need

me
oh no no it's alr
was just wondering when you'd be back

jacob
awh is lil woo sxared to be home aline 🥺

me
aren't u scared of the dark??
exactly

kev
soon woo dw
def before midnight!

me
oh
alr i'll see u then

kev
u sure everything's okay??

me
mhm
have fun :))
seen

###

tugging at the ends of his hair, wooyoung switches off his phone, yet remains clutching onto it, simply for stability over himself. he feels as if he's seconds away from passing out — everything is so stuffy and he wonders momentarily if maybe a breath of fresh air would do the trick, until he notices his fingers beginning to tremble against the device in between them.

it's never gotten this bad before. usually wooyoung would feel a little dizzy and sometimes even nauseous, which he blames on the haunting images patronisingly refusing to leave his mind, but even with that, a few sips of water and distractions from his friends would be easily enough to help recompose himself.

this time round, however, wooyoung ponders if maybe he pushed himself too far. maybe getting back on his two feet again and again and again, and trying and trying and trying, despite falling over countless times, despite barely being able to recognise his surroundings, despite sobbing on his knees for the sounds to come to a stop, wasn't as rewarding as it once seemed.

at least he did it, though, right?

at least he managed to fight the battle against himself, and dance to his heart's will.

wooyoung should be happy about it. he's spent months enduring the same thing over and over, he's tried so hard, so why isn't he?

why isn't he happy with himself?

breath only shallowing as seconds go by, as if the oxygen in the silent void before him is being sucked away from his reach, wooyoung finds himself switching his phone on again.

he doesn't know what's running through his mind, or if there's even anything up there to begin with, when his shaky fingers start to move. and he isn't even sure of how he has the capability to type in a coherent word, but he manages, somehow.

###

me
san???
are you free

where_san_sings
in all of my glory, yes

me
uhm
idk how to say this but
i don't rly have anyone else rn and i just need someone's help

where_san_sings
are u okay??

me
i don't rly know
it feels weird

where_san_sings
can u try to describe it to me woo?

me
hot
it's so hot
dizzy too

where_san_sings
and what about ur breathing? please can you describe that for me too?

me
fast
it's like
ik i'm not but it almost feels like i'm suffocating??
idk i've never felt this way before

where_san_sings
hey it's okay
i'm here woo it's okay
i'm not sure how you'll feel about this but can i call u?

me
oh

where_san_sings
all i want to do is help i promise but i completely understand if you're not comfy with that

me
no thats okay san

where_san_sings
are u sure??
please be honest with me

me
i'm sure
seen

###

using the back of his hand to wipe away the tears streaking his expression with pain, wooyoung brings a hand to his chest, which twitches now and then in its movement. he grows startled at its rapid pace, along with surprise that he hasn't already notice the heavy, booming sound echoing into his ears.

interfering with wooyoung's fear, his phone abruptly vibrates in his clammy palms. he blinks throughout his incoherent breathing, multiple times, only now realising what he's done to himself.

but, reminding himself that all the latter wants to do is help, wooyoung nervously picks up the call.

"hey," says a voice almost immediately — san's voice — rushed, yet warm. although wooyoung can, most likely, recognise the voice from a mile away, it feels different when directed at him somehow. "woo?"

"h-hi," wooyoung struggles in a whisper, internally cursing himself for how pathetic he sounds. god, san is probably going to think he's so weird.

"hi, woo." san is delicate, even through his worry, and wooyoung can't help but imagine a small smile on his lips. "i can hear a little, but your breathing — how is it? has it gotten any better?"

wooyoung shakes his head. then, his cheeks burn in humiliation, because san can't even see him. "i-i don't—" he pauses, clenching his eyes shut. "i don't th-think so, n-no..."

"that's alright," san assures instantly. "because i'm going to help you. that's why i'm here, remember?" wooyoung mumbles out a quiet hum of acknowledgement, a fresh wave of tears pooling over his eyes, his chest heaving up and down. "we're going to take deep breaths together, okay? have you done this before?"

"n-no," wooyoung whispers, his nails digging into his palm.

"it's nothing to be nervous about, though, yeah? i'll be with you the entire time. i promise you. i'm going to count to three, and once i start, i want you to breathe in until i stop. after a few seconds, i'm going to count to three again, but this time i want you to breathe out. if at any time you feel you want to stop, just let me know, okay?"

taking in san's words, its soft tone and gentle pace, wooyoung clenches his eyes shut, discarding the walls spinning around him. "y-yeah. yeah, okay."

and he lets san's voice guide him through the practice, gradually grounding him back to the reality of his surroundings. initially, wooyoung doesn't see how this'll be of any help, for he only sputters embarrassingly against his lungs closing in on him upon the first few tries. but eventually, he proves himself wrong.

san's reassurance and praises pave wooyoung's path to a sense of ease, huddled in the corner of one of his university's practice rooms where everything seems just right again.

"i'm sorry if i was a bit awkward through all that," san says sheepishly, after a few seconds of silence passes. "it's been a while since i've calmed someone down from a panic attack, so i almost forgot what to do for a second."

"san," wooyoung softly demands, resting his head against the wall by his side. "don't think like that. s-seriously, i don't know what i would've done without you. and like i mentioned, i-i didn't have anyone else to go to, so it really... it just means s-so much to me that you helped me the way you did, even though i'm sure you must've been confused."

san hums. "i'm glad i can be a person you can rely on, woo."

"that was so corny," wooyoung remarks, face scrunching up slightly, laughing when a disbelieved scoff meets his ears.

"let's just act as if your entire speech from, like, two seconds ago doesn't exist, then, shall we?" san returns, dripped in sarcasm.

"speech? don't you think you're getting too ahead of yourself there?"

"yeah 'cause i'm the delirious, sleep deprived one in this friendship."

"shut up." wooyoung rolls his eyes, despite, this time, knowing well that san doesn't have the pleasure of catching his irritation. "what time is it, though? i should probably head back soon..."

however, before wooyoung finds the energy to move his body — if pressing the button on the edge of his phone even counts as that, for that matter — san answers, "good idea, it's almost twelve for you right now."

"are you sure you live in seoul?" wooyoung teases, and san laughs. bliss fills his chest at the fact that the older remembers their conversations just like he does. "'cause kev told me they'd be back by then."

out of curiosity, san asks, "back from where?"

"some expensive ass café. pray on my behalf that they bring back some rich food for me, i fucking need it," wooyoung complains in a mutter, as he stands up, knees slightly aching due to his sitting position.

"is a candle at my yves shrine good enough for your wishes?"

wooyoung bursts into laughter, heading to the door and flickering the light off behind him. "you have an yves shrine?!"

"fuck yes, i have an yves shrine," san confirms, like its the most normal thing ever.

wouldn't we all, though, if we could afford to dedicate an entire corner of our room to the hottest woman on earth? exactly.

"be nice! she already gets enough judgement as it is."

"what? why?" wooyoung wheezes.

"my roommate is a gay, boy group stan."

"and which one of your friends is that?"

"song mingi," san answers through a dramatic sigh.

"ah, the dumb narcissist?"

now, san laughs. "oh my god, i have to tell him that!"

"i won't get shredded to pieces, will i?" wooyoung asks with slight worry, and san only laughs some more. "dude, i'm being serious! if he can punch a goddamn wall, what's stopping him from punching my face?!"

"if it makes you feel any better, you're so pretty that he'll probably kiss you first."

"we've got a problem, then, 'cause it didn't make me feel any better," wooyoung says, climbing up the last flight of stairs. however, the compliment only makes him smile harder now that he's actually hearing it from san rather than reading just a bunch of words on a screen. "is this where i hang up on you to make up for it?"

"but i lit candles at my yves shrine for you," san argues.

wooyoung grins. "and thank you for that, but do make sure no yves' are burnt in the process! i was only kidding just then, but moonbae are meant to be back, like, right now, and since i have to act normal—"

"impossible," san comments quietly, yet wooyoung simply ignores it.

"—being on the phone to singer boy is the farthest from it, so." wooyoung pauses, unlocking the door to his and his friends' shared dorm. "i'll probably bother you later if i feel like it, though, just a heads up!"

"i'll definitely look forward to it, woo."

###

a/n: woah a not-so-text-chapter what do we think??

and gosh the news is so scary rn, i hope we're all staying as safe as possible :( my heart goes out to everyone in ukraine rn, i hope with everything in me that the situation gets better soon </3