WHEN THE DOOR FELL shut behind him, Levi almost felt like he was being locked up. He knew he had chosen to come here himself and yet he couldn't help but feel it had been a bad choice. Why was he opening himself up again? For what? To be disappointed again? And yet, when he looked at Kai, he couldn't bring it in himself to walk away. It was eery in a way how alike their eyes were. Somehow it felt like he was looking at himself. He didn't know how to feel about it.

Kai scraped his throat then, evading his gaze. Perhaps he found it just as confronting to stare in a mirror.

"How are you?"

It was a strange question, because Levi didn't feel like there was room for casual pleasantries between them. He didn't leave much room for that with people to begin with, because frankly, it took a lot of effort, but especially not with his long lost brother who turned out to be an experienced criminal. Kai glanced back up again when he didn't reply at once, a somewhat sad smile appearing on his lips.

"My bad," he said," you're right, I can't show up after all these years and start the conversation like nothing happened."

"I didn't say anything," Levi remarked.

"You didn't need to," Kai shrugged," we both have the same father, you think I don't know a disappointed look when I see one?"

It wasn't accusing, a slight joking note to his voice to make everything sound lighter, even though the situation absolutely wasn't anywhere near light. The mention of his father almost let shivers run down Levi's spine, but he swallowed whatever ball of twisted emotions that man had placed in his throat. He never had been family to him, but his mother had tried, as much as she could. Perhaps now he had another chance.

His conversation with his mother flashed in front of his eyes then, the way she had leaned over to him with her thin hands and soft smile, the one which always looked like it was ready to crack into grief and tears. These days she was getting better, but it was continuing on that way which proved difficult. Levi was hopeful though, even if it was stupid to even allow himself to feel anything of the sort in case he got hurt, but she was clean for the longest time since she had gotten into rehab. Her expression was more radiant, her weight gain such a pleasant sight in comparison to the pale, sickly ill woman she had been before. When he had told her about Kai that brightness had dimmed at once, not because she was sad Levi had mentioned him, just because she hadn't told him herself.

"I'm sorry, Levi," she had whispered," I was young, irresponsible, I didn't want a child, not with that man. I wanted him to have a better future."

"You don't need to apologize," he had replied," I get it."

He truly did. His mother had wanted to give Kai a chance to escape, but nothing was that easy in this world. When she had looked at him with tears in her eyes and squeezed his hand, all he had wanted was to hug her. It was a strange feeling, the desire to feel protected and alright. Until a year or two ago, it hadn't even been an emotion he had permitted himself to have. When he had hugged his mother, it still felt like he was the one protecting her, but somehow it was also soothing.

If Will heard anything about this though, he knew his friend would practically tackle him in a hug, so he was going to keep it silent for as long as humanly possible.

"I'm sorry," Kai said.

He looked a lot livelier in comparison to before. That sight of him, pale and bleeding, had kept Levi awake at night, the image haunting his heart. Never before had he even wondered about having a sibling or thought he could have a normal family setting, but here was this man who suddenly turned out to be his brother, and then before Levi had even been able to say anything at all he had saved him. He knew no one would have pressured him to go to the hospital, but he had to go. Not just because the man had received a knife wound while protecting him, but also because a childish part of him, the one which wished for someone who wouldn't abandon him, couldn't help but want to know him.

An older sibling, someone who fundamentally would understand the things he had been through, so much clearer than anyone else.

"You told me to apologize," Kai continued," when we saw each other again. I know it sounds stupid, but it did keep me awake at night, wondering whether you would come back to hear my apology." The smile curling up on his lips seemed to be bleeding from the broken fragments of his heart. "I wouldn't have blamed you if you hadn't."

Levi swallowed again, clenching and unclenching his fists nervously. "Thank you."

"For what?" Kai blinked.

In response Levi waved at the hospital bed.

"This," he said," your apology, saving Eleanora, surviving. All of it. Thank you."

"Apologizing is the least I could do," Kai spluttered, obviously taken aback by his answer," I'm the one in the wrong -"

"I don't care who's in the wrong," Levi shrugged," I've learned from our mother that holding onto too much breaks you down. If I can grant her forgiveness for neglecting me, why can't I do the same with you?"

It was an honest reply, but one he himself hadn't actually expected to say. Most times his words were all jumbled up in his head and didn't come out right in serious moments like this. Not that it mattered, he had realized, because Will always waited until he finished his sentences, Alex always offered ten things he was likely to say to help him along, Eleanora always took his hands in hers and squeezed gently. When people cared, they were prepared to listen. Who would he be if he didn't even do the same for Kai?

His brother quickly wiped away the tear which had been sliding down his cheek, collecting himself again as he waved at the chair beside his bed.

"If you want to you can sit down," he said, before adding a moment later," I would very much like that."

Levi complied, the silence between them somehow pleasant. If Kai had kept talking about it all and apologizing, he would've felt uncomfortable, but he didn't do any of that. He sat and stared at his intertwined hands, breathing softly, gaze so full of quiet wonder it seemed like he was dreaming. When he looked back at Levi, the confidence he had carried in the house where they had first met had returned, most of his vulnerability concealed in his eyes. It was no wonder they were family, they both knew how to hide emotions well.

"So," he said," you have a girlfriend. My little brother's all grown up."

A soft chuckle left Levi's lips. He didn't mind the subject change, because it was clear if they had continued on earlier Kai would've cried and his brother clearly didn't want to do that. They sure were all emotionally challenged in his family, but Levi couldn't complain, because he was exactly the same. It was actually comfortable to see it. In a way it made him feel like he knew Kai already every time he recognized ways he had used himself to put walls around his heart.

Everything wouldn't be okay simply because of one conversation, but at least it was a start. Talking about Eleanora always made him feel at ease anyway.

"Yeah," he said," I don't deserve her, she's amazing."

"I think you very much do," Kai said, shaking his head," and I know my word means nothing, but you're a much better man than I am. She cared about you a lot." He twiddled with his thumbs, breathing out. "Both of you are braver than me."

"I don't think a coward would take a knife in his shoulder," Levi said.

"You'd be surprised," Kai chuckled," I've seen a lot of things while working to survive."

"That man," Levi began," won't he chase you? With all this drama, that is."

Though there were many men he could've been talking about, Kai immediately got who he was talking about. He shrugged, seeming to be dulled towards any emotion regarding their father.

"Probably," he said," or probably not. In the end Vince only cares about himself, so it depends on how much this will trouble him. I actually don't think it will, because he's difficult to find. If the criminals focused on getting their money back weren't able to find him, I doubt the police will."

"I hope he dies," Levi said, knowing the words weren't light but not letting himself feel guilty for them.

"I hope he does too," Kai said, voice barely a whisper," but at least I do have a family now. I will take care of you, Levi, like an older brother should."

"You don't need to," Levi replied," I just want you to be there."

Kai nodded silently and when he looked him in the eye this time, he didn't avoid his gaze when the tears came.

"Isn't it time you introduce me to your friends?" he smiled, his tears glittering silver underneath the hospital light," this time without me being in the role of kidnapper."

When a smile curled up on his own lips, Levi couldn't help but feel lighter.

"I think it is."