The Man With No Plan

"It's fine, Liam." Harper sighed.

"I've been home for a week and I've only seen you twice. That's not fine Harp, it's wrong. You're my twin." Liam continued, ignoring her reassuring words.

Dropping down onto her bed Harper ran her fingers through her damp hair in an attempt to detangle the knots. After a long shower she managed to wash the blood and scents off of her, only light traces of gold still streaked her long brown hair.

"I've been sick the past few days." Harper offered the excuse in the hopes of getting him off the topic.

An exasperated sigh sounded from the other end. "That's worse. I didn't even feel that and I always know when you're sick. Harper, I feel like we're losing our connection."

Rolling her eyes Harper bit her tongue to keep from saying that their connection was lost long before now. But for the sake of her brother she decided not to mention that small detail. Since her mother's death the twins started to drift apart. Harper craved answers and began questioning the Hunters' laws while Liam continued to obey every command like the perfect soldier he was. It only grew worse when Harper turned eighteen and decided she was leaving the Hunters'. Liam approached her as she was packing, instead of wishing her luck or trying to understand her decision Liam called her a traitor. That hurt more than when her father refused to say goodbye, hurt more than when everyone she grew up with and considered family didn't even spare her a glance as she walked out.

Swallowing past the lump in her throat Harper refused to cry over something that happened years ago, she was past all that.

"How about we catch a movie tomorrow? Just you and I." She offered hoping to get him off her back.

"I can't tomorrow. I have a meeting with the Elders. How about after tomorrow at six?"

"Can't." She sighed. "I'm booked tomorrow night. Are you free on Thursday?"

  The muffled curse on the other end answered her question before Liam spoke up.

"I have a three day seminar with a new group of recruits."

"You're teaching again." It was more of a statement than a question.

"Yeah. It was uh dad's idea for me to relay my experience and techniques to the newer students."

   Pressing two fingers to her temple Harper felt an onslaught of memories slam into her. Memories of their father preparing them on how to speak in front of crowds, training them on how to portray certain moves in a small space. The excitement she felt at the prospect of teaching with Liam crashed into her bringing back sensations she tried ignoring.

You left that life behind.

"We'll figure it out." Liam chuckled breaking through her thoughts.

  She wanted to point out that they hadn't had much luck on the matter in the past but she had a feeling her twin knew it just as well but refrained from admitting the truth. Blissful ignorance, she scoffed internally.

"I gotta go Liam but we'll talk soon."

"Alright. I love you, Harper."

Swallowing hard Harper mumbled the words back and ended the call. Closing her eyes she tossed her phone aside and sighed. Although it was mid afternoon she felt exhausted both physically and mentally. She wanted to blame it on her injuries but she knew it was do to her conversation with Liam and the constant reminders that she was no longer apart of his world. She didn't miss the Hunters' but she did miss belonging. To be apart of her family's everyday lives and that sense of security when she looked at the many members who would die protecting each other. And the man standing behind her door.

Turning to face the closed bedroom door Harper wondered just what he was doing? The shadow of his feet shifted from side to side before he took a few steps backwards only to return to stand in the same position. She wasn't sure how long he'd been doing this but she didn't notice his presence until midway through her ten minute phone call from Liam. Was he hoping to hear a secret about the Hunters? Despite her common sense she felt a bit disappointed at the possibility. Is that why he was here?

Forcing her gaze away from the door Harper ran her fingers through her hair nervously while she contemplated her next move. She couldn't hide in here forever, for one she wasn't the cowering type and she was hungry. Kiev didn't seem like he was going anywhere anytime soon and she didn't hear Elena since she came out of the shower. They were alone. Swallowing hard Harper felt her fingers trembling as she continued to run them through her hair. Her heart thumped in her chest, fear and excitement mingled together in a strange combination that had her feeling more uneasy if that were possible at this point. The butterflies flying in her stomach had her wondering which emotion overpowered the other but she knew the answer before she asked the question.

  She couldn't deny the magnetic pull that had her sparing small glances at the door waiting for him to barge into her room and... well she didn't know what she wanted him to do but she did want him to try something. Scoffing at her own foolishness she shook the thought away. What could he say or do that could make up for everything he's put her through? Nothing. Nothing could excuse his behavior and the same could be said about her naïveté. Her mistake was trusting him.

"Not again, not ever." She vowed.

  Pushing her emotions down Harper pushed away from the bed. With her head held high, shoulders pushed back she made her way to the door and yanked it open. Kiev took a step back, his lips parting as if he were going to speak but quickly closed his mouth. Shifting her eyes away from his troubled gaze she told herself not to read too much into his lost expression. Instead she made her way into the kitchen where two cheese sandwiches awaited her on a plate. Once again Harper was struck with an overwhelming gratitude towards Elena. She might not be sure if the witch was friend or foe yet but she was sure about one thing, Elena was taking care of her and Harper wouldn't forget her kindness.

   Grabbing the plate off the counter she rummaged through the fridge and found a bottle of chocolate milk. Shutting the fridge door with her foot she heard footsteps shuffling not to far behind her. Willing her heart to slow its uneven thumping she took a seat on the stool by the kitchen counter as if his presence didn't effect her when in reality it had her stomach in knots.

   Bringing one half of the cheese sandwich to her mouth she took a small bite, finding her appetite mysteriously gone. Her chest rose and fell with every breath she forced into her lungs as the footsteps stopped beside her, from the corner of her eye she spotted his crisp black slacks. Slowly chewing the piece of bread Harper waited for his powerful, angry voice to fill her apartment or to feel his hands against her skin. As the seconds ticked by and nothing happened Harper wandered what exactly Kiev was playing at? Did he want her to break the ice first? Was that it? Who could crack under the silence first?

Forcing the now unappealing sandwich down her throat Harper turned in her seat and tilted her face upwards to face him directly. Despite the heart wrenching pain she felt slice through her chest at the sadness filling his green eyes Harper kept her demeanor impassive.

"Is there something you wanted?" She asked in a clipped tone.

His eyes scanned her face before they lowered to the cotton tank top she wore, his gaze lingering on the rose like scar above her breasts before they returned to hers filled with an emotion that resembled regret. Rather than react to the sudden emotions flashing across his face Harper twisted around and continued to nibble on the half sandwich. The cheesy sandwich tasted like cotton in her mouth, every bite harder to swallow than the last.

  From the corner of her eye she watched him make his way around her, pausing in when he stood beside her. Sucking in a rabid breath Kiev spoke in a soft voice. "I've went over this exact situation in my head over and over again, trying to word out what exactly I'd say and how I'd say it. I must have gone over it at least a hundred times and you know what I'm still not sure what to say or do."

  Lifting her gaze Harper watched as he pressed his palm onto the smooth counter, his eyes trained ahead as he continued in the same broken whispered tone.

"I've never been the kind of person who could just jump into a situation blindly. I do the research, calculate the risk, understand the problem, then I decide whether I create a plan or I leave it all behind and walk away." He flexed his fingers over the multicolored counter as a muscle in his jaw twitched. "I've done that with everything for as far as I can remember. I've been controlling my fate, manipulating every event to cater to my needs. That's all I've ever known and for the first time in my time of existence I'm discovering a terrible truth, that I'm not in control."

    Placing the sandwich down onto the plate Harper turned slightly on the stool, her brows furrowed in confusion at his sudden admission. Although she wasn't sure about how genuine the words he muttered were she was curious enough to remain silent and allow him to continue. Clasping her hands on her lap she tilted her head and caught a glimpse of his pained expression, his lips pursed, the far away look in his dull green eyes indicated he wasn't fully present in the moment with her. The impassive, arrogant mask Kiev wore constantly began to crack in that moment revealing small gaps of the true person behind the façade. Intrigued Harper listened and watched him carefully as he continued.

"I've done the research, calculated the risk, I understand what I must do and yet I keep returning to the same state of confusion and helplessness. The same problem with no solution, no plan and that's never happened to me before."

  Shaking his head Kiev squeezed his eyes shut momentarily before he reopened them and turned to face her. The slight shimmer of tears in his worn out eyes caused her breath to hitch despite her best efforts to remain emotionless. She tightened her hands on her lap to keep from reaching forward and grip his hand in an attempt to comfort him. She had to remain strong and hold her ground.

  He sighed, sensing her sudden withdrawal. "I don't know what to do to make that look of hatred in your eyes disappear."

    Digging her fingers into her palm Harper resisted the urge to turn away from his resolute gaze.

"You can't do anything." She answered, watching his shoulders sagging in defeat.

"I'm sorry."

Harper shook her head. "Don't..."

"I'm sorry for almost killing you. I'm sorry for dragging you into this, I'm sorry for lying to you. I'm sorry."

   Tears prickled her vision forcing her to lower her head and stare at her clasped hands. Kiev sounded genuine, his expression one of a broken man as another chunk of that mask fell off giving her a closer look at the man awaiting beneath the disguise. The thing was she wasn't sure she wanted to get a glimpse at that man anymore. A week ago, of course but not now. Not after he nearly killed her. She couldn't just forgive him that easily and if she took a peak at the complex man that was Kiev she knew she wouldn't be able to hold on to the anger. The anger was all she had as a defense against the part of her that wanted to forgive him and wrap her arms around him. It was all she had to protect her heart.

"What you did is not okay. It was really fücked up." She found herself speaking the words out loud.

"I know and I'm sorry. I know I keep saying it but I am and I don't know how to express to you how sorry I am. Tell me how to make it up to you. How do I earn your forgiveness?"

Did she want to forgive him? Yes. No. The two answers swirled in her head each teasing a possible outcome. Kiev could be messing with her, this could all be apart of his plan or he could be telling the truth. She couldn't tell which possibility she preferred. Kiev was bad for her there was no debating that. Being involved with him would be dangerous for her and yet the small moment when they were together was pure bliss. Could she ignore the fact that there was no future for them? Could she risk her heart for a man who could break it without remorse?

Blinking away tears she looked up through a row of dark lashes. "You could tell me what's really going on, why you trapped me in this deal?"

A muscle in his jaw twitched as he turned his face away from her hopeful gaze. The simple action gave her an answer she had hoped would be different.

Hot tears streaked her cheeks despite her best efforts to keep them at bay. Swiping away the evidence of her disappointment Harper sucked in an uneven breath while cursing herself for even considering Kiev to be anything but a monster.

"It's not that simple." He sighed.

"I don't care." She sniffled. "Just get out."

Crouching beside her he gripped her trembling hands in his larger ones. Shaking his warm touch away Harper closed her eyes, refusing to fall victim again to the deep sadness filling his emerald orbs. She couldn't afford the anguish.

"Please try to understand why I can't tell you everything." He pleaded, the desperation in his tone pulled at her heart strings.

"Because you're a selfish asshole who doesn't care about the pain you cause. I have nothing to do with whatever you and the Hunters are involved in." She cried out, her throat burning with the sob that crawled up her throat. "I left all of this and you brought me back and I hate that you did. I hate you."

"Don't say that."

  Swiping angrily at the tears falling freely down her face Harper nodded. "But I do, I hate you."

"Harper."

"All you do is hurt me, why shouldn't I hate you?" She asked, unsure if she was speaking him or herself.

  His warm, bronze hands clasped over hers stilling her from wiping away the pesky tears. She whimpered at the contact of his skin against hers wondering why it had to be this hard. Why did it have to be Kiev who made her stomach do somersaults, who caused her heart to trip over itself or send goosebumps to erupt across her body by one simple touch. Why did her heart yearn for this man? She couldn't pretended that she wasn't falling in love with him any longer. She knew these raw feelings of desire and longing were more than just a simple fling. She didn't know when or why she started falling for a horrible person like Kiev but she was and she couldn't stop herself from continuing down that path despite his past actions. Her heart refused to believe what her mind knew all too well.

"You're right, all I've done is cause you pain but no more. I can't tell you everything now but when everything is over with I swear on my mother's ashes that I will tell you everything."

  Pulling her hands away she scoffed at his pitiful promise. "I'll be dead by then." She mumbled, hating how her voice cracked as a sob racked her body.

"No, you won't be." Cupping the side of her face with his hands he forced her to meet his tender green gaze still shimmering with unshed tears. Leaning forward he shook his head, his brows pulling together in determination. "I won't let you die."

"I know your plan includes me dying, even if it's not you who actually kills me." She hiccuped.

"Fück my plan." He growled venomously.

  Removing his hands from her jaw Kiev flicked his wrist causing a rolled up paper to materialize out of thin air along with a emerald encrusted dagger. Without pulling his gaze away from her wide eyed stare Kiev brought the silver tipped dagger to his palm. Swiping harshly against the smooth skin he didn't flinch as a pitch black blood oozed out of the large gash. Her stomach lurched at the sight of his thick, sticky blood and churned as the metallic scent tickled her nostrils yet she couldn't for the life of her look away.

   The rolled up paper opened and Harper was shocked when the paper resembled the copy of her contract tucked safely away in her drawer. Puzzled, she turned to Kiev for an explanation but found his gaze unblinking as he placed his hand above the contract. Flipping his hand over so his palm faced the contract Kiev clenched his fist causing the dark blood to drip down onto the paper like molasses. The thick blood swirled and twirled as the contract glowed.

"I Kiev, son of Dmitri swear to protect you, Harper Grant from any harm. I give you my blood oath that you will not die by my hand or another. I swear to protect you from any evil doings within my kingdom and outside of it. I swear to lay my life down for you from this moment on until my last breath."

The ink like blood swirled in place forming Kiev's oath and several inches below the blood formed his name in bold, italic print. Clenching his fist above the contract Kiev released the dagger from his hand causing it to clank to the ground. The heavy thud echoed against the walls of the eerily quite apartment.

Stunned by his unexpected actions Harper grabbed the contract with trembling fingers. Dubious that the contract was legit Harper attempted to tear the gold paper and found it hardening in between her fingers. Speechless she snapped head up and stared at Kiev's determined expression. She searched his expression for any indication that this was another ploy to gain her trust but found nothing in his moss green orbs but anguish and an raw desperation for acceptance.

Glancing down at the contract in her hands and then back to the man before her Harper didn't know how to respond to his oath. A small part of her was still a bit concerned to believe him, believing him would me having hope and hope led to disappointment.

"I can't tell you everything you want to know but I'll tell you what I can." He whispered, his voice raspy and low as if he was afraid he'd frighten her.

Opting to remain quiet while she pondered her next move Harper kept her stare steadily on his grey tinted face. Kiev took her silence as a yes and continued.

"You're right, I tricked you into a deal by using Olivia as leverage. I needed you to prove how unstable the Hunters' are in their quest to destroy my people. I used your love for your sister against you."

Lowering the contract Harper found the confirmation bittersweet. She swallowed hard and told herself she wasn't going to react or speak a word until he was threw speaking.

Kiev leaned forward and wrapped his hands around hers, his chest heaving with each breath he took. "I lied about not visiting you after the attack. I came every night, in your dreams."

The confession caused her eyes to widened in shock as she thought about the perfect Kiev of her dreams. The one who held her close and much like the Kiev on his knees before her begged for forgiveness. The one that mumbled words of regret and comforted her when the pain grew unbearable. The same man who allowed her to hit him repeatedly in a vain attempt to relieve some of her anger and hurt. Her perfect Kiev was also the monstrous Kiev who hurt her repeatedly.

Before she could think about how she felt about his admission she spoke. "I don't believe you."

His long fingers tightened around hers. "It's true. Do you remember the first night? We were lying in your bed, you said you had a long day and you just wanted to relax. On the second night you remembered that I-" He paused mid sentence. "You remembered the attack so you slapped me and told me to leave. On the third night you punched me over and over again while you cried. The fourth night was the worst though. You refused to.."

"Talk to you." Harper mumbled.

"I dropped onto my knees in front of you and begged you to look at me, to just look at me."

Harper flinched as he cupped the side of her face with the hand he cut open. The warm blood against her cheek had bile rising in her throat. Oblivious to her inner struggle with the blood on her skin Kiev placed his chin on her knees and looked up at her like a child. The idea of Kiev, heir to the Demon throne nearly on his knees begging for forgiveness seemed ridiculous and highly unlikely. And yet here he was on his knees, completely vulnerable.

"What you've done is inexcusable." Harper said, watching his Adam's apple bobble. "I can't forgive you."

  Harper knew the exact moment her words registered in his mind. It was the moment his fingers gripped her face rougher, the way he lifted his head off her lap as if she had slapped him. Steeling her already wavering resolve Harper stood by her decision. Kiev had tried to kill her, it was a redundant fact that kept her from succumbing to the pesky inner voice that wanted to mend their relationship.

  His cold, emotionless gaze from that night still caused her to shudder. All the sensations from that night sometimes still felt like they were happening. The feel of his fingers closing around her throat, his detached tone echoed in her ears. Close your eyes.

  Those were the last words Kiev said to her and they were a constant reminder that Kiev could kill her without hesitation. As heart wrenching as it was it was true. She was only fooling herself thinking Kiev could separate his hate for the Hunters' from whatever this was. What about the contract?

  Lowering her gaze to the paper in her hand she wondered why he'd make a blood oath to protect her. How would that help him?

"Do you want me to beg?" Kiev asked, his voice piercing through her thoughts.

   Pulling his hands away from her face he dropped onto his knees with his hands hanging limply at his sides. "I'll beg, fück my pride. I've got no plan on how to fix this but I need you to give me a chance. To trust me."

"Trust you?" She laughed bitterly at the idea. "You're asking me to trust you after you tried strangling me?"

  He nodded his eyes pleading for her to reconsider. "Let me redeem myself."

  A jolt of pain shot through her chest causing her to press her free hand against the rose shaped mark beside her heart. Her fingers brushed the smooth lines and the scene from five days ago flashed before her in high speed. The look of pure hate in his eyes, the darkness, her soft pleading for him not to and then his response, close your eyes. 

  On their own accord her eyelids fluttered closed as the storm of emotions raged wildly inside her. Her mind racing with possible scenarios, each leading to the blank, hateful stare of Kiev. This war stood between them. A war from before her time. A war Kiev has been actively involved in, perhaps from the very beginning. The bad blood between their races was the obstacle to over come, could they overcome it.

Maybe they could. In a perfect world Kiev could let this war be while they explored this relationship further but then what? If it didn't work out would he return to his original plan for her? Or if this worked out between them how would they live? The Hunters' would be furious. Victoria's story came to mind.

   Fear filled her at the thought of facing the same fate as her ancestor. To be slaughtered like an animal by her own people, or worse any future children she had. Without thinking her hand slid down to her torso, her fingers tracing small circles as she considered the dark future that came with pursuing this any further. The Hunters' wouldn't let her be, they'd kill any children conceived by a demon. There was no future for them only lost and sorrow.

  The revelation felt like a vice grip around her lungs making breathing difficult. This would go no where. Forcing her eyes open she averted her gaze away from the pleading green eyes glistening with tears.

"I can't." She whispered.

Rising to her feet she turned to leave the room and gather her thoughts when a pair of arms wrap around her hips. Wide eyed Harper glanced down to find Kiev burying his face into her torso. His body shook violently as he mumbled something against the fabric of her tank top.

  The sight of his dark head buried against her brought a fresh round of tears to her eyes. His fingers dug painfully into her skin even with her clothing providing a barrier. An overwhelming feeling of despair crashed into her, of desperation, self loathing and remorse. The new emotions felt foreign almost as if they didn't belong to her and yet she felt suffocated by them as if they were her own.

"Kiev." She whispered, her voice hoarse with the oncoming tears

  His head lifted at the sound of her voice and Harper was taken by complete surprise by the tears streaking his face. Those beautiful emerald like orbs shimmered and shone with tears, the same gems were rimmed bloodshot. His bronze skin held an abnormal paleness that worried her. The contract in her hand fluttered to the ground, forgotten as Harper weaved her fingers through his soft ebony hair.

  A sob tore from her lips as she stared unblinkingly into his, overtaken by grief with what she saw in them. The mask had finally crumbled revealing fear, desperation and a vulnerability that broke her heart for the man on his knees.

"I beg of you do not give up on me. Please Harper, don't give up on me. Don't leave me." He cried.

  Turning his head so one of her hands slid across his face he kissed the tips of her fingers, her palm, and the inside of her wrist as he repeatedly pleaded with her. His lips trembling with every word that left his lips, the warmth of his tears staining her skin as he continued to press kisses along her hand.

"Kiev, please." She whimpered the plea knowing it fell on deaf ears when he pressed himself further against her.

  Tilting her head upwards she felt her own hot tears trickling down her face. Her heart felt as if it were going to burst with the overwhelming sorrow, her own, Kiev's and a new sense of despair for whatever the future held for her after tonight. Telling Kiev no would devastate them both, yet saying yes would do the same. There was no better choice, no path that could offer either of them relief from this misery. She felt boxed into a corner where both options led to her heart in tatters. The difference was in one it would be Kiev who destroyed her, i the other it was the ways of their world. Both scenarios seemed evenly matched except...

  Slowly Harper lowered her head and watched Kiev's shoulders shake violently as he continued to pepper kisses along her wrist, palm and fingers. The fervent way he continued to plead as the tears freely trailed down his cheeks, across his sharp jaw and onto her hand was too much for her to bear.

  This was the difference between the two dead end choices, Kiev. Running her fingers through his soft hair Harper sniffled finding herself wondering if he was worth the heartache. Was he worth risking everything for?

Yes, her huntress whispered. He is worthy.

  Swallowing hard Harper didn't know if she could agree with her huntress, not yet. The heartache was too fresh and barely healed for her to be able to put her heart out again, especially when she sensed it wouldn't come back to her this time.

  Pulling her hand free from Kiev's seeking lips she weaved her fingers into his hair. Ignoring the unnerving feeling of doom that drummed deep inside her she pulled him closer to her and stroked the back of his head with one hand. His arms wrapped around her hips, his grip leaving her struggling for breath as he seeped his gratitude into her torso.

  Closing her eyes against the pain she stroked his soft hair in the hopes of quieting his heart wrenching sobs. Although she hadn't officially said yes doubt lingered in her mind but how could she deny him? A fresh set of tears trickled down her face as she realized she had been wrong before.

  She wasn't falling in love with Kiev, she was already in love with him. And her love for him might just be the death of her.

***********

  Okay let me just give you all time to wipe your eyes and blow your nose. How do I know you're crying you ask? Because I cried writing this!!! Oh my God you wouldn't believe how emotionally draining this chapter was to write. I didn't even intended for it to go this way but once again Kiev hijacked the story.

  Anyhoo is like to thank you all for commenting on the last chapter, I didn't get to respond to anyone which I feel terrible about but I will be reading them today. Thank you guys. I know I say it often but I can't explain in words how much your support means to me. So I'll say it again, thank you!!

Btw if you listen to the song above after reading the chapter or during you'll cry even harder, trust me I did.