Self Afflicted

Kiev's POV

Glancing over his shoulder Kiev tightened his hand on the handle of the car to keep from reaching across the hand rest and grabbing Harper by the shoulder, to force her to look at him not out the window. Flexing his free hand over his knee Kiev stared at the back of her head. Her long brown tresses were pulled back to one side by a gold encrusted clip, and the light dusting of gold across her cheekbones, over the bridge of her nose and powdered over her hair. Paired with the ivory satin gown Harper resembled a virginal goddess and he was under her spell.

He still couldn't believe she had come down to Sinful and as a dancer of all things! His blood boiled in his veins at the reminder of Harper straddling the wolf! Gritting his teeth Kiev forced the image of Harper tossing her head to one side as she dipped her head to his ear, her voice low and sultry. No man, no person, would ever feel Harper's soft lips against his ear or hear the husky tone of arousal in her voice, to see the shiny glaze of lust shimmering in her eyes. Anger and envy sliced through him, the pair of emotions wrapped around his heart and squeezed the cursed organ that had ceased to ache since spotting Harper.

  Every cell in his body ached to touch her, to wrap her trembling form in his arms and protect her from their world. From himself.

   With her arms crossed beneath her breasts and her body facing the window Harper was completely ignoring him. A small smile tugged at his lips as he remembered her exasperated huff when he transported into her car. It hadn't occurred to him that she wouldn't listen to him until he was halfway across the main room. She didn't fight him when he slid his extended hands out to take the steering wheel from her. Staring daggers at him she crossed her arms and turned away from him without a single word. He didn't expect to be welcomed with open arms but he sure wasn't expecting the cold shoulder. But you deserve it.

   The shadows resting on her lap hissed in agreement, slithering across her torso and wrapped tightly around her possessively. A sense of betrayal washed over him. For the first time in his life Kiev's shadows weren't obeying him. The reason he was currently driving with his extended hands was due to the sad and infuriating fact that his shadows weren't obeying him. Upon being anywhere near Harper they attach themselves to her, quite literally. She didn't know it but they would did anything she asked of them, there was no command they would refuse her. A minor annoying perk all thanks to the damn curse. Harper had no idea what sort of power she wielded over him.

"Can you get these things off of me?"

Although she hadn't turned around to face him she did acknowledge his presence by speaking and that was something, right?

"I will, if you tell me why you were at my club." He lied knowing he wouldn't be able to get hi shadows to separate from her so soon.

"I don't mind them." She countered with her back still to him.

Glancing down at the slender darkness caressing her hands and rubbing along her fingers encrusted in dried blood, his blood. Without understanding why Kiev reached his hand out and tentatively laced his clean fingers with the ink like blood coating her fingers. Harper tensed and the movement didn't go unnoticed by him. She tried to tug herself free but he only tightened his grip on her. Needing to feel her after having only dreams to get him through the days he needed to feel her, skin to skin, with no barrier between them. Even if it was something as simple as hand holding.

"Let go of me." She hissed venomously.

The shadows on her arms rose from their resting place and mimicked her hiss. Blinking away his shock he wondered if she noticed what she unintentionally did but found her shoulders rigid as she continued to stare out at the passing buildings. With one last squeeze Kiev released her hand much to his reluctance to do so. Yanking her hand far from his reach Harper tucked her hand between her knees without so much as a twitch of her head.

Swallowing hard Kiev closed his eyes against the burning in his chest even as the car slowed down. He concentrated on the gaping hole in his heart that continued to be torn open wider rather than the abrupt stop of the car. He balled his fists at his sides to keep from touching his chest, gritted his teeth against the agony and forced himself to remain in his seat as Harper threw the door open. The car rocked gently as she climbed out and trembled with the force of the door being slammed shut. A few audible gasps brought a faint smile to his lips when he realized Harper had two different kinds, as well as shades, of blood smeared across her face where he held her and across the ivory gown. Not to mention the shadows that lingered around her curvaceous body like a second skin. A sight to behold he'd bet and his little huntress could care less about her appearance.

Sighing he opened his eyes and inclined his head downwards. With all his heart he wished he could take back their last encounter, take it all away then maybe she wouldn't look at him with those angry, hurt eyes with the underlying fear not to far behind. He wanted to have Harper greet him with a kiss, the happy glimmer in her soft brown eyes proof that she was just as excited to see him. He wanted her not to hate him. Although he had to admit she had many reasons to he didn't want her to. Yes he knew their relationship was bound to end in a bloody mess with one or both of them dead but a small part of him, the stupid part of him wanted to enjoy her while he still could. Before he had to let her go after he brought Cade's mate home safely. They couldn't have eternity but they could have these stolen moments.

It was selfish he knew that but the thought wouldn't fully leave his mind. He just wanted her to himself before he had to return to what must be done, before reality caught up to them.

"Suck it up." He mumbled to himself. Setting the car on park and grabbing the car keys he transported himself outside of Harper's door wondering if she bought another crystal to keep him out. He hoped not.

Through the quickly fading smoke he recognized her storming towards him, her eyes cold and distant as they met his for a brief moment. Averting her gaze she approached him and snatched her keys from his open hand.  Drawing what little patience he still had Kiev didn't utter a word as she pushed her door open, slipped in and shut it quickly behind her.

  Time to find out if she had a new crystal. Sucking in a ragged breath he hoped she hadn't otherwise this was going to hurt like a bitch! Concentrating on recreating her apartment in his mind Kiev felt his body shifting and before he knew it he was standing in the small living room.

"Is that blood?" Elena exclaimed. Her eyes twitched to him momentarily. Elena's shoulders stiffened as her mouth pressed together in disapproval.

  Following her gaze Harper rolled her eyes. "Can't you take a hint?"

  Shifting on her feet Elena looked between the two, her eyes filled with accusation and fury. Kiev felt her heated gaze burning a hole in him. The sudden urge to get out of the witch's scrutinizing stare made him feel a fresh wave of shame as he recalled the last time the three of them were in the same room.

"The blood is his fault." Harper said, setting him with a dark glare. "He killed a man."

"Who you were giving a lap dance." Kiev said through gritted teeth.

"What?!"

Whipping around to face him, Harper ignored Elena's horror stricken expression. Placing her hands on her hips she narrowed her eyes.

"You have no right to tell me who or who not to be with."

"Yes I do. You signed that contract, binding you to me for a decade. So yes, I do have a say in who you throw yourself at." He argued.

A soft red tint flushed across her cheeks, her eyes dropping for a brief moment to his lips before they returned to meet his once again.

"Oh, yes the contract. The one you and my sister manipulated me into signing." She took two steps towards him, her fists clenched at her sides. "She got the baggie of God knows what's in there and you get what Kiev? The opportunity to kill me and exact revenge on my family, isn't that right?"

Despite her bitter accusations and venomous tone he noticed the tears glimmering in her eyes. The hurt clear in her eyes as she attempted to seem unfazed but he could see deep into those caramel colored eyes and see the damage his recklessness had caused.

He wanted to drop onto his knees and beg for her forgiveness but his own pride kept his feet firmly on the ground.

Swallowing hard Kiev saw the shadows circling her legs, twisting and entwining themselves around her shapely legs like a pet snake.

"How do you know about the baggie?" He asked, watching the shadows grow in girth.

"I saw Olivia come down with it before she met your brother. You three must have had a blast laughing at my expense. Poor stupid Harper fell right into a trap!" She seethed, her cheeks going crimson as her gaze filled with more tears.

Kiev frowned, his brows knitting together in confusion. Brother? Did she mean Yuri? "My brother?"

Taking another step forward, Harper jabbed her finger at him the anger coming off of her in waves. "Yes, your brother. The guy who attacked me, the one you swear acted without your knowledge was having a good old chat with my sister. You are all working together to...to kill me."

The way her voice cracked at the end caused an invisible hand to grip his heart in a vise grip. He opened his mouth to respond but paused. What could he say? No? That would be a lie though. Although the original plan didn't require him to take Harper's life it was in the near future. Answering yes was not an option.

  Taking his sudden hesitation as a clear yes Harper gave a curt nod and took a step backwards as if only now realizing the short distance between them.

"That's what I thought." She murmured. A tear escaped and slid along her cheek. Swiping at the wet streak Harper turned on her heels and started her bedroom.

"I'm going to take a shower." She spoke the soft words to Elena who nodded. "You better not be here when I'm done." She added over her shoulder.

  The soft click of the door closing after her echoed in his ears, knowing she was truly done with him. A soft hiss sounded beside him, his shadows displeased with her departure.

  Sighing, he ran his hand roughly over his face. He messed up, no messed up didn't even begin to cover it. Where would he began to make it up to her, to explain himself without revealing anything to her. Once again he found himself returning to the same problem he had been stumped on all week long, how could he keep Harper safe? When he started this mission he hadn't thought there was a way to keep the ex-huntress alive and that didn't bother him even though she obliviously left the Hunters. But now with all the information he learned about her role in his parents' death and getting to know her he realized his mistake. Harper was the only innocent one in this whole situation.

"I thought we agreed it'a best you stayed away."

   Elena's harsh tone brought him out of his thoughts. Facing the witch he wasn't surprised to see her standing before him, her arms crossed over her chest as she glared daggers at him. He did agree to that five days ago but he didn't think he could anymore.

"She wears my mark." He stated in an voice void of any emotion.

"I know."

  His brows furrowed. "You know? Since when?"

  Shaking her head Elena pressed two fingers to her temple and lowered her head. Her short hair slid forward and covered her face from view as she explained. "The scar appeared on the second day. She woke up screaming, I ran into her room and found her encased in pitch black darkness." Elena lifted her head, her eyes meeting his. "In your darkness."

"That can't be. I never came here..." Kiev trailed off realizing that wasn't true.

  Sure he never came to her apartment after he attacked her but he did visit her while she slept. The nighttime visits are what assured him that he hadn't killed her and offered him a moment to enjoy Harper. It was wrong of him to manipulate her into thinking he wasn't real but he needed to know if she was okay and if she hated him.

  Shaking the excuses away he recalled the first night he visited Harper. She was confused, unsure if she dreamt he attacked her or not. Being the selfish man he was he told her it was a nightmare, he told her he would never hurt her. A lump rose in his throat at the lies he told her that first night. They were in her apartment in that dream where he led her to her bedroom, laid them down and wrapped his arms around her. He enjoyed her eager mouth against his as he whispered promises he couldn't keep.

   Ashamed of his cowardly actions Kiev remembered his shadows surrounding them as they kissed, their cold touch turning scorching hot as their kissing grew deeper. Her hands gripped his shoulders, pulling him closer as she whispered something into his mouth. The words were low and inaudible as he was preoccupied enjoying the feel of her soft body pressed against his when he heard her blood curdling scream echo all around them. Before he could lift his head he felt her body's absence and in a blink of an eyeshe was gone, leaving him in a void of darkness.

  He wondered if he had unknowingly marked her. If he did she wasn't safe anywhere.

"At first I thought you preformed the mating ritual but there was no scent on her. It was only when I calmed her down did the shadows leave and I realized you didn't mark her, she marked herself." Elena explained.

"How is that even possible?" Kiev asked, his fear of his connection to Harper being discovered seeming more possible.

   Dropping her hands back to her side Elena smiled, her eyes filled with concern and regret.

"You forget Kiev, although Harper looks and acts human she is still a Huntress by blood. She accepted the bond, I don't know when but she did and because you have yet to mark her and complete the binding her Huntress decided to."

Stunned by the new development Kiev ran a hand across his face. "That would mean the bond is halfway complete if her own marking counts."

Elena sighed. "It does count and it will remain until you mark her yourself with the blood ritual."

"If what you're saying is true then..."

"It is true and one look at you could prove it. You're connected now which will make parting that much more difficult for you both."

  He snorted in response. More difficult, he wanted to laugh at the tidy notion. It was agony keeping his distance but decades of training and many years of experience were what had him staying away. Friends and enemies would be the same if they discovered who his mate is. Kiev and the three sorceress supreme were the only living beings from the original order but only Kiev had full demonic blood coursing through him and that made him and any mate he had a target.

  A pang of longing in his chest caused him to turn away from Elena's knowing gaze. Kiev couldn't ignore the part of him that wanted to be with his mate, it was woven in his soul. The pull towards Harper was undeniable, even the huntress couldn't deny it. He couldn't afford that luxury, his people couldn't afford it.

"When was the last time you fed?"

   The corners of his lips twitches upwards in a faint smile at the question. "Are you offering?" He teased in the hopes of avoiding the subject.

"I'm serious." She hissed. "If you want this bond to remain a secret than you have to at least try."

"I have."

"Oh yeah because I can tell by the sickening gray of your skin that you've been trying so hard." She scoffed.

   With a menacing growl Kiev whipped around, his upper lip curled barring his teeth in warning.

"I have tried but I fücking can't! I can't think of another woman without feeling my heart break for betraying her. I have tried over and over again.  I've only succeeded once but even then it wasn't fulfilling more so agonizing. Every body that isn't hers is soul crushing. All I see is her, all I feel is her, all I taste, crave, yearn and want is her! But I can't fücking have her."

   A look of sympathy flashed across Elena's amber eyes and he hated her pitiful gaze. He didn't want to be pitied. Swallowing hard he reeled in his wayward emotions, willing his inner turmoil to remain inner. Drawing from the many lessons with his father Kiev lowered a imaginative lid over his bubbling emotions. He had to remain in control of his emotions, of himself if he had any hope of continuing to remain control of this war with the Hunters.

Straightening his posture, he hardened his gaze. "This conversation will remain between me and my witch advisor." He spoke in a deadpan voice insuring Walter Grant couldn't get word of this conversation.

Nodding, Elena dipped her head causing her multicolored hair to slide over her face.

Returning her nod with a stiff nod of his own Kiev turned his attention to the shadows slithering across the floor, their slender tentacles floating inches away from the closed door where Harper was. Clenching and unclenching his jaw he told himself he had no business here, he shouldn't be here. Ignoring his own advice to leave Kiev heard the trickling of the water as it slid along her body, heard her uneven shudder but it was the soft whimper that tore at his heart.

She was in pain and he felt the heartache as if it were his own. The hallow throbbing in her chest pushed through their link forcing him to face another truth. He caused the pain, he wasn't sure how but he could feel her pain and he was at the source.

With a mind of their own Kiev felt his legs leading toward the door where his shadows awaited to reunite with Harper. Fisting his hands at his sides to prevent himself from reaching for the doorknob Kiev heard movement from the other side of the room.

"You're leaving." He asked as the sound of keys pierced his thoughts.

Tossing a garbage green coat over her shoulders Elena grabbed a set of keys off the coffee table. Looking around the room she nodded. "I need to check on my store and I think you both need this time together."

The muffled sound of her platform heels on the carpeted ground was the only sound in the room as Elena crossed the small living room. Pausing by the door she grabbed a large tote from the floor and turned to face him.

"For Harper's sake I hope you know what you're doing."

With that simple reminder Elena opened the door and softly shut it after her leaving him to face to choices before him.

**************

It felt like Kiev needed the spotlight to express himself, even if it was brief and he was conflicted lol. So what are we thinking guys?

As always comment my lovelies!!!