"I'm good at everything, except at what I'm not."

She said this with all the conviction of someone who knew exactly why that line made me frown. She was good at... and except...

It was a comment that perfectly showed the way her mind worked. If, in fact, it did.

Gem was a gem. A literal glow in the dark personality that shone far beyond the dark hair and darker eyes. She wore a shadow around her like a cloak of invisibility, insisting she wanted to stay in the background, out of sight. She would huddle into herself, becoming a smaller figure than her already petite form.

"I don't like people," she'd say. "Even if I like you, I don't like you."

That was one of things she was good at. Being contradictory. Did she enjoy the confused looks she drew? I wasn't sure. In fact, I didn't think she actually knew the effect her words had on people. No one thought to ask her outright what she meant, because we all knew, sort of, what she was trying to say. So, I didn't think Gem was deliberately trying to be awkward. It didn't mean she wasn't, though.

Anywho-be-do.

Gem wanted to be an introvert, but her personality seemed to disagree. The more she retreated into the cave she had mentally created for shelter, the more she would be outgoing. Loud. Funny. It was confusing and endearing. She was both shy and exuberant at the same time, and didn't know how to deal with the opposing sides. Perhaps that was what brought her under Connors' 'care' in the first place. That's what I used to think, after she'd first arrived and we'd become acquainted. Once I'd seen the turmoil within. She'd sought out someone to help her ying cosy up to her yang and be able to spend some time in the same room without the consequences that would follow.

Gem could sing. It wasn't simply that she liked to, she could genuinely do it. She didn't take compliments overly well, but there was always a swift upturn at the corners of her mouth when someone told her a something she'd just sung sounded good. Or great. It was usually the latter. Many of us quickly realised to leave her alone when the mood took her. Allow her to let it loose. At least then, she only had to handle her own self disdain. She didn't have to battle with feelings of intense insecurity battling with feelings of enthusiastic gratitude.

I didn't know every song she chose, but recognised some. I even liked the occasional one. Once, I sang along to a tune. Well, singing wasn't quite what I'd call it. It was less tune and more tuneless. Still, it was something like the second cousin, fifteen times removed from Take This Lonely Heart, a Nothing But Thieves song I was a fan of. I used to have a t-shirt from one of their concerts, though I hadn't worn is for quite some time, and didn't know if I ever would again.

Would, could. Two sides of the same damned coin.

Anywhooooo-be-do.

She sang, I sang, she shut up. I didn't notice at first and continued my version of the melody. I hadn't exactly realised I was 'singing' but, when she paused and that fact made its way through my ears into my brain, I stopped too. I looked at her, surprised. Why wasn't she still going? She was staring at the floor, unblinking.

"Gem?"

She didn't move at first. I was concerned, so took a step forward. She looked up then. Her dark eyes were a few shades closer to night and the shadow had spread over her face.

"What's wr...?"

She stood up, suddenly and my step forward became a step back. I knew she was angry at me, but what had I done? Was it the singing? Was I that bad?

"Come on, Gem," said Jeremy, moving between us.

He'd been attending to Mucous Mickey, whose roll of toilet paper hooked onto his saline stand had run out. Jeremy was a big man who'd be imposing if he wasn't so friendly. His geniality smoothed the edges of his large figure. I didn't think Gem had learned this side of him, which was the case of many of the residents. He and I had become the closest to friends a patient and orderly could be inside an asylum. It was a relationship we kept to ourselves, as it would be frowned upon if it became widely known. I was certain Gem wouldn't know that, so his presence had the desired effect.

"He shouldn't have done that," she said through clenched teeth.

"Who shouldn't have done what?"

"Sin. He shouldn't have done that."

"What did he do?" Jeremy turned to me. "What did you do, Sin?"

I shrugged. Apart from singing badly, I wasn't aware of anything I could have done to prompt such a response.

"I haven't got a clue," I said.

"He sang!"

"That's all? That's all he did? Come on, Gem. There's no law against singing, is there? You do it all the time." Again. He turned to me. "You murdering another song, Sin?"

"'You know murder's not my thing, Jeremy," I said, thinking all those people died because of me, so wasn't that still murder? "Clearly singing isn't either."

"See Gem? He admits he's not very good. Not even close to your talent. It's good to have a go anyway, isn't it?"

"He SANG!"

Her hissed through gritted teeth voice had escalated to take on a vicious tone. I felt its cold touch trace along my spine and shivered. I was so used to her opposing personalities, liking one and not entirely disliking the other, this new side to her was disconcerting. More than that. It was almost scary. Her body was tensed, as if poised to attack. Her anger has distorted her features into a mask of fury.

I only sang!

Jeremy didn't turn to me this time. Instead, he kept his attention on her, which I was thankful for.

"Sin, why don't you go sit somewhere else while I talk to Gem, eh?"

I nodded, though he couldn't see me. Taking a last look at Gem, and regretting it, I moved over to sit on the other side of Mucous Mickey. It didn't stop her seeing me, as she'd watched me go, but at least Mickey being between us was something of a diversion. Not in a kind of human shield way – I wasn't putting my friend in harms to way to protect myself. If people were injured, or worse, because of me, it might be my fault, but it wasn't my fault.

Does that make sense? Yeah, it makes sense. In my head at least.

Jeremy was talking to Gem and, after a little while, she seemed to calm down. The murderous look on her face calmed to irritation and she sat back down. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Then, she went back to staring at the floor while continuing to sing. Thankfully, it was something I didn't know., not that I'd make the mistake of joining in again.

"I'm just going to sit here for a little bit," I said to Mickey.

He smiled but, before he could say anything, grabbed a large wad of tissue to stem the stream of snot that had erupted from his nose.

Jeremy came over to us and sat down next to me. I tried to gauge his mood but couldn't.

"So?"

He sighed and ran his fingers through his thick greying hair. Like me, he'd started to grey in his early twenties. Unlike me, he'd hadn't tried to disguise it with dye.

"I suggest, when she's singing, you don't join in, OK?"

I nodded.

"I sort of figured that out myself. But what's the issue?"

He looked around to make sure no one was listening. Mickey was still sitting next to me, but we knew he didn't listen to anything or anyone unless it was directed at him. If you weren't speaking to him, it was clearly nothing for him to concern himself with, so he didn't take notice.

"Obviously, this is between us, right?"

"Of course. You know that."

"I know, but I have to make sure." He paused, and I could tell he was trying to think where to begin. "Basically, she doesn't like it when someone sings along with her."

"I got that," I said. "But why? She's good, so it's sort of appreciation of that."

"Maybe so, but I recommend not doing it in future."

I told him I didn't intend to. I didn't need to be told.

"Well, I'm telling you anyway. I might not be there next time, and you know the others wouldn't be too fussed about stepping in."

By the 'others', he meant his fellow orderlies. They would be more likely to only stop anything that might happen if blood was drawn or bones broken. Then they'd have too. And they'd be swearing too. Bloody shitheads. Now I've gotta make a report. And drag their sorry arse to medical. Otherwise, they'd be happy to wait and see what transpired. If they had to break up a fight, it meant they could jab us with their 'little pricks'. They enjoyed that.

"Understood," I said. I waited for him to say more, but he didn't. I felt he wanted to, so: "What's wrong with her?"

"She's not a bad singer, is she?" he said quietly. I nodded my agreement but didn't say anything that might divert or delay any further conversation. "She used to be one, you know. A singer. It's all in her file. You know how Connors likes to be thorough."

He did indeed.

"Well, and this really isn't for other ears, she was kidnapped."

"Seriously?" I exclaimed. I had no idea, and nothing she'd said had ever given any indication that she'd been through such an ordeal.

"Shhh," Jeremy hissed. "You'll get us noticed and me fired."

"Sorry," I apologised. "Go on. It was just a surprise."

"I know, but... It was a fan. A superfan, he called himself. He kidnapped her after a gig at some pub. Nothing big, but she was doing the rounds. You know the sort of thing. Friday night entertainment for the punters."

I did know I'd been to many a pub on a Friday or Saturday night and seen soloists and groups. Some weren't very good, but there were lots of excellent acts.

"He made her sing. The report doesn't say a lot about it, but the guy made her sing for her meals. Made her sing to use the toilet. He even made her sing to stop him... Well, you know... She enjoyed singing, being a singer, but he was forcing her."

"What happened?"

"She refused. He tied to make her but how do you make someone sing? In the end he threatened to cut her throat, so she'd never be able to again, but she still resisted. So, he did it. Cut her throat and then kicked her out."

The starter for this story came from two places. One was my lovely girlfriend and the other was the brilliant Netflix show Squid Game. The phrase "I'm good at everything, except at what I'm not" was something my girlfriend would say, then it was used by Mi-nyeo (Kim Joo-ryeong) in the show as "I'm good at everything, except the things I can't do."

It was too perfect not to use.

Have you watched Squid Game? We really enjoyed it. What did you think?

Any(who-be-do)way, here you have part one of The Broken Songstress. Part two will come very soon! I hope you enjoy it. Remember, if you have a starter sentence yourself, DM me!