Dear Sara,

Pulling out the big guns with that question! I'll get to it in a bit. But first, I'm sorry to hear that you're still having a hard time with this girl. What in the world happened? It can't be easy to have to face her constantly after such a bad ending.

And speaking of bad endings, I am still dealing with my own. It may have seemed like things were sorted a while back, but just like everything else about out group, it wasn't what it seemed. The new record deal I had signed wasn't about to let me look foolish, or say anything spiteful. So they had someone craft a speech that would sound humble and grateful. Mature. Especially after all the jabs Lou and I have thrown. It was fine to say, and it's not that I think the opposite, but my heart wasn't really there.

That sounds so awful after everything that's passed. But I'm not healed from it. So how can I feel peaceful? I use that mask when I need to, to get by. It may help you as well, like armor in a battle.

Alright, the burning question, who do I miss most? I'm not sure anyone would really guess, but Niall. He's the calmest of the bunch. People are drawn to him because he really is a kind person, always smiling. He'd leave me to brood when I needed it, not needle me like the others. I appreciated that, even more so now that we aren't around.

Sincerely,

Zayn

^^^^^

My heart...poor guy seems so lonely. But remember, this is the Zayn in my head, so I guess I did that to him myself! 😂

Thanks so much for reading! Until tomorrow!