**This chapter includes some depressing thoughts and mentions of cutting and suicide.**

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JARED POV

Evan and Connor hang out all the time now. Their designated after school hangout is the treehouse behind Connor's actual house.

"Hey, Ev," I said, entering his house.

"Hiya."

"Hiya? Nice."

He giggled. I asked him about Connor, telling him he seemed happy. I made a few flirty jokes about them, of course. My initials are literally JK. Jokes are a part of me.

All jokes aside, Evan really is happy, which makes me happy. We're best friends.

Lately, though, I've been thinking about my 100% platonic relationship with Evan. I've been thinking about if it pOssibly..wasn't. I didn't even think I liked guys until I told Evan that we're actual friends and that I care about him. Then he started telling me all thia stuff about Connor, which was great, but it gave me a little tiny sting in my chest. Maybe I'm just having a heart attack and dying and it's completely unrelated. Whatever.

He and Connor aren't even "dating," and that doesn't look like it's happening any time soon.

I don't even know how I feel about anything right now. Until I figure that shit out, I'll be at Lush smelling bathbombs.

•

CONNOR POV

Evan and I are in the treehouse, as usual. He's staring out the window, looking at the branches on the giant tree we're sitting on.

"This is a really pretty tree," he said quietly.

"You're a really pretty tree."

He turned around and smiled shyly. "Hnghgmhh okay." He giggled.

I smiled and rolled up my sleeves. It gives off an "I'm chill and stuff, but it's warm in here" vibe. Evan sat back down and noticed my arms again. I might as well explain or something.

"My arms, right?" He nodded slightly. I continued, "Well, judging by what you post on Tumblr, I assume you at least know what all this is," I said, gesturing to the red and pink lines all over my forearm.

"Yeah," he answered softly and carefully.

"It's just.. I don't know. Life sucks, you know? I want to die, but I don't really want to die. I want to live and do things and see things. But there's always some voice in my head saying I'm better off dead. These are the next best thing."

"I know what you mean."

I looked at his cast. "Why hasn't anyone signed your cast. I mean, except for the greatest person on earth, of course."

Evan giggled, then he frowned a little. "Well I don't have any other friends. When I broke my arm, Jared wasn't, um, there. He and I weren't 'friends' really. I just come and go and no one knows I was ever even there."

"Wait, did you not break your arm falling out of a tree if he wasn't there, then?"

"No I, uh, descended to the ground..from a branch."

"Are you telling the truth?" I realized what actually happened. He didn't fall.

"Ehmmm.." He looked down even more.

"Oh. Dude, no, you didn't fall, huh."

"I.."

"Did you fall on purpose or something?"

He sighed. "You know, I should go."

"Evan, did you fall or did you let go?"

"Yes."

"Yes what?"

He didn't say anything.

~•~•~

Ouch

Also hahahah enjoy some sad boi Jared