because I sure am.
Thank you so much for 18k, that's insane.

Connor turned the engine off and gripped the steering wheel tightly. He thought about going home, and never talking to Evan again. He felt his feet carrying him out of the car and to the front door.

He stood there for a second before knocking. He knocked once and Evan opened the door instantly, before Connor had even lowered his hand.

"Hi." Evan said, stomach churning.
Connor hesitated and lowered his hand.
"Were you waiting at the door?"
"No." Beat "I heard the car."
"Right. Can I come in?"
"Yeah! Yeah... Of course." Evan moved out of the way so Connor could walk in, letting out a breath he didn't even realize he was holding.

Connor stood awkwardly in the lounge room as Evan locked the front door again.

"Do you.. Uh... Want a drink? I think there's juice." Evan asked, fiddling with his fingernails. Connor laughed.
"Yes. Please." he looked up, catching Evan's eye. Evan looked away quickly and went to look in the fridge.

"I thought we had juice."
"It's fine if you don't."
"I'm sorry." Evan said, closing the fridge door.
"It's fine. Water's good too."
"Not about the juice." Both boys fell silent. "But like, sorry about the juice too."

Connor chortled slightly and looked around. "This is a nice place."
"You've.. You've been here before though?" Evan poured Connor a glass of water and sat is down on the coffee table. He sat down on the couch and Connor joined him.
"I've only been in your bedroom."
"Oh. Right." Evan squirmed nervously as Connor took a sip of water.
"I'm really really sorry Connor."
Connor continued drinking his water
"Because.. Because I shouldn't have k-kissed back and I shouldn't have gotten so drunk that I would do that." Evan stared at Connor as he slowly sipped his drink, not taking any breaks. The water poured down Connors throat very slowly, the glass barely being held at an angle.
"Connor." Evan said, trying to get him to stop. Connor stared back, making intense eye contact with Evan. His mouth filled with water, and he slowly gulped it down. Evan's eyes flickered to Connors Adams apple, the sharp contours of his neck leading up into his jawline, down into his collarbones. "Connor?" Connor tilted the cup slightly; it was finally emptying. "Connor." A few more seconds and he would have to respond. "Connor."
"Mmhm?" Connor hummed in response
"I love you."

Connor stopped drinking his water for a second, keeping the cup to his lips. He downed the rest of it immediately, put the cup down and looked at Evan.

"I need to pee." Connor said, holding back a smile.
"You are the absolute worst." Evan said, punching the other playfully. Connor squealed and ran away, heading for the toilet. Evan chased him, smiling.

Evan knocked on the toilet door "Connor! Come out so I can kill you!"
"Sorry Evan I can't hear you over the piss!" Evan laughed and went back into the lounge room.

He sat on the couch and waited for Connor to come back. A few minutes later, Connor joined him on the couch. Evan waited for Connor to speak.
"Can I have more water?"
"I swear to god-"
"Kidding!"
"Right. Where were we?"
"You love me." Connor said smiling. Evan blushed and nodded. "well I'm.. I'm very glad that you do. Love me. That you love me."
"Okay."
"You shouldn't though."
"Connor-"
"Evan, I'm a mess. You're so sweet and nice and you have so much love to give and I just.. I don't deserve it."
"I'm clearly not as perfect as you think I am seeing as I kissed Jared."
"I'm not mad about that."
"You're not?" Evan was surprised
"No. I'm mad because I know he's better for you."
"Don't say that."
"Why not? Its true, isn't it?"
"You're a fucking idiot-" Evan said, leaning forward and kissing Connor forcefully, one hand reaching up to hold his cheek.

Connor ran a hand through Evans hair and felt his breath catch in his throat. Evan pulled away for a second and looked into Connors eyes "I don't want Jared. I don't."
"Really?"
"Really really. I w-want you."
"I want you too."
"I'm sorry for what happened."
"Really, don't even worry about it."
"But I am sorry."
"Can we just forget about it? It was only a kiss."
"COMING OUT OF MY CAGE!" Evan yelled, throwing himself back onto the couch
"And I've been doing just fine, gotta gotta be down because I want it all!"

The boys sang together before collapsing into a fit of giggles. They smiled at each other and Connor poked Evans stomach.
"What?" Evan asked
"Belly."
"What?" Evan asked again, laughing
"Squishy. Cute." Connor slowly lifted his finger to poke Evans cheek "Cute." Evan giggled.
"Thank you." he poked Connors nose and made a long drawn out 'boop' noise. "you too."

Connor smiled and kissed him happily.