My world exploding, I hesitantly sat in my car and leaned back against the seat. I couldn’t stop crying. My heart beating out of my chest.

Silently, I guardedly stared at the house before me. The place owned by a man who shattered my glass house. The house owned by a man that destroyed every logical nerve in my being.

A house owned by a man I used to love. A house owned by a man that had a few of my pictures on the walls.

Now I have become a stranger in the photos on his dusty mantel. I was now the stranger in all the photos. I didn’t know who the hell he was anymore. Had I ever known him? I loved him so much.

I could recount the times, when I was a young, impressionable girl, he would wipe my tears.

He helped Daddy teach me to ride a bike. Daddy was mean, always spanking me for falling and scrapping my knees...

But my God Daddy would be right there, brushing off my buttocks or my knees, telling me to “Get up and try, try again.”

In the blink of an eye everything has changed. Everything I have ever wished, hoped and dreamed has become hogwash. My pre-school graduation picture and my first grade class picture were on his dresser.

Pictures of my first cheerleading try outs were in his photo album. My lungs felt like flames. My stomach was the identical twin.

Nervously, I held my legs, but they continued to tremble from the disquieting rage I was trying to keep contained.

It was hot in this car, but I welcomed the heat. My panties stuck to my nookie with both sweat and lust. Lust for a man who used to be my Godfather.

Lust for a man I used to trust. Lust for a man my father once brought in our home when I was a little girl. I loved him like an Uncle.

I used to tell him my most intimate thoughts and his ears became my diary. I even let him read my diary without shame.

He told me that I was beautiful. He told me to watch out for men who would promise me the world just to get a shot of coochie. He told me that some men were vicious creatures.

They wanted what they wanted and didn’t care who they hurt. He also told me to never trust those closest to me.

They would hurt you first. And that was exactly what he did. Hurt me first. Why didn’t I listen?

Who would have known that I should have been watching him? That was what happened when you were young and naïve.

When you have blinders on, you look for the good in people. You become a sitting duck. I’ve been wounded from the pump shot gun of Tommy’s selfishness.

His sickness was blinding. He taught me the ups and downs of love in ways Daddy used to hide from me.

I appreciated Tommy for telling me that I shouldn’t marry the first piece of dick I get.

He told me to live and learn and find out what worked best for me.

Daddy wanted me to be his little girl forever. How long did he expect me to keep my legs closed? Forever? Tommy said I would grow into a beautiful
woman.

He watched me sprout like a rose.

Like a rose...