Ooh, and I wished you had hurt me harder than I hurt you
Ooh, and I wish you wouldn't wait for me but you always do
I've been hoping somebody loves you in the ways I couldn't
Somebody's taking care of all of the mess I've made
Someone you don't have to change
I've been hoping
Someone will love you, let me go
— Hailee Steinfeld, Alesso, Let Me Go

TYLER

"I know it's hard, man," said Mario as if he knew what was bugging my mind. Perhaps, he was the only person who truly did since he went through the same thing two years ago when he broke things off with Faith.

I tipped my head back and finished off my beer. "Do you still love her?" I asked just for the sake of putting my mind off the choices I had to make for a while, not because I was curious about his feelings for Faith. My eyes found him as I put the empty bottle carefully on the table next to his.

If Mario was surprised, he didn't show it on his face although his hands, which were trying to open his third beer, kept on failing in doing the task. "If I don't, I wouldn't bother to disturb you two yesterday."

I cocked my head to the side, pondering his words. I wondered if he was trying to tell me that he was jealous or if there was some other meaning in his sentence. I settled on the first. "Man, there's nothing going on between Faith and me. We're just friends."

Mario and I have bonded more these last few hours than we've ever been in the last three days. I wouldn't say I trusted the man with my life but I definitely valued his opinion. And it would be better if he knew that I wasn't going to be in his way should he ever decide to reconcile his relationship with Faith.

"No, I'm not worried about that." Mario shook his head and brought the beer he finally managed to open close to his lips. Once he took a drink, he continued to explain, "you're currently under the microscope, everything you do is reported back to the organization. They know your schedule better than you do and I just didn't want them to think that there's something going on between you and Faith."

He seemed to read the confusion on my face as he continued, "I heard from Nico that you've been spending time with her lately." When I was about to tell him that none of them was planned, that I met Faith by pure coincidence, he held one hand to stop me. "No, I'm not being jealous or whatever you think I am. There's nothing left between Faith and me. She will never forgive me for what I've done and I understand." Even though he said that with a voice full of confidence, as if he was truly believed it, yet there was a hint of sadness in his eyes. His head might believe it to be true but I knew his heart wished otherwise.

"I just don't want the organization thinks she might be someone they could use to keep you on the leash. I was hoping when they saw the three of us, they thought we were just friends having a good time." He grabbed his beer off the table and took a drink. "Nico, the one who was assigned to keep an eye on you, said that you didn't spend much time with your girlfriend. He said he saw your girl with the same dude a few times."

My body went perfectly still. Autumn with a guy? "Did he know who?" I didn't bother to hide the jealousy in my tone.

Mario shrugged. "If he did, he didn't say." I was about to press on the matter but Mario continued, "after all, you're his target. Not her. They want to study you, find weaknesses they could use against you in the future. In the end, all relationships are just a liability."

"Is that why you're always alone?"

I expected him to say something or even to get offended, instead he tipped his head back and laughed as if I just told him the funniest joke in the world. "No. I'm always alone because I don't want to get personal. I keep everyone at arm's length so I wouldn't have any liability."

"Nobody could live all by himself."

Mario offered me a sad smile. "I just don't want to give them power over me."

"If you don't have any liability holding you back, then why didn't you walk away? Why didn't you leave the organization?"

"You're kidding, right?" When I didn't answer, he folded his arms behind his head. "Because I still want to live. No one leaves the organization, man. At least no one left and lived to tell the story."

AUTUMN

I turned on the TV and watched Riverdale on Netflix as I waited for my pizza to come. I was too lazy to walk to McD or any restaurant nearby but I was hungry. Good Hemmings, there was a thing called food delivery.

I ordered pepperoni and cheese and when the bell finally rang, I jumped to my feet and ran like a mad, hungry girl which I probably was right now. I was going to swing the door open like I usually did but then I remembered reading an article somewhere about the dangers of opening the door before checking. For the first time in my life, I leaned forward and peered through the small peephole. A guy dressed in a regular red and white shirt wearing a cap with similar color combination stood on the other side of the door, a box of pizza in his hand. Well, he looked like a delivery guy for me so I swung my door open.

"Pepperoni and cheese for Miss Summers," he read the paper he held in his other hand. He proceeded to confirm my order and address.

"How much is it?" As the words rolled out of my mouth, I realized I didn't have my wallet with me. Stupid! I was too excited about the pizza that I ran to the door empty-handed.

"It'll be seventeen dollars fifty cents." He handed me the pizza and I carefully put it on the small table beside the shoe cabinet.

I held up one hand. "Hold on, let me get the money." I made a short trip to the coat stand. I wasn't the type who took out all my belongings from my pockets and put them on the table or inside a drawer. Whenever I got home, I simply let whatever was in my pockets stayed in my pocket until I needed them. Just like I thought, my wallet was still in the right pocket of my coat. I pulled out two tens from my wallet and walked back to the door.

The delivery guy still stood in front of the door, carrying the receipt in one hand, however, I swore I saw his eyes scanning the inside of my apartment, almost as if he was looking for something. Or someone. By the time I reached the door, his eyes were on the floor, gazing lazily at the line between the wooden floor of my apartment and the pale yellow tiles of the hallway. Although I found it rather odd, I kept my mouth shut. It wasn't nice to start accusing someone. Plus, I had no idea how he would react. Since Villain X, I finally realized that not everyone that looked normal was actually normal.

I handed him the two tens and told him to keep the change. He gave a brief nod and walked away. Carrying the pizza box in one hand, I went back to the couch and put it on the table. The smell of pepperoni and cheese made my stomach growl so without further ado, I opened the box and dug in.

I was on my third pizza when I softly heard my phone buzzed. After tossing several pillows aside, I finally found my phone stuck in the small gap on the couch. Using my clean hand, I pulled it out and tapped on its screen.

I nearly choked on my pizza as I read the caller ID. It was Audrey, Tyler's mom. I put the half-eaten pizza into the box and quickly swallowed what was left in my mouth.

"Hello?"

"Autumn! It's so good to hear your voice, dear. How are you?" Audrey has always been cheerful, she was simply the coolest mom I've ever met, but right now there was something else in her voice that made me sit a little straight and put the phone a little closer to my ear. Today she sounded different, she sounded like she was truly happy.

"I'm good. A little restless but I'm okay." She didn't need to know that I was having a really bad hangover this morning. Audrey may be the coolest mom but my mom wasn't. I've heard from my big dumb dodo brother, Steven, that the two ladies were spending a lot of time together lately. My guess, it probably had something to do with the upcoming wedding. "How're you? How's the wedding preparation going?"

"Oh! You've received the invitation! That's great. I was calling you to make sure you received it first before I start asking you a favor." It sounded like she switched ears before she continued, "your mother assured me that you would be happy to do it but I told her that I must ask you first instead of just assuming you would."

"I'm so happy for you!" Typical my mom always vouched for me before asking for my opinion. Although in this matter she might be correct, there was almost nothing that I wouldn't do to help Audrey. Still, I needed to know what her request was. "What is it that you want me to do, Audrey?"

After knowing her for over two years, I've gotten used to calling her by her first name and not Mrs. Vincent, which was a good thing since she would be Mrs. Bernucci in a fortnight.

"I would like you to be one of my bridesmaids." I was so surprised that any words I was trying to express were stuck in my throat. I've never been to a wedding, believe it or not.

My mom was an only daughter and although my dad had a sister, Aunt Clara was only twenty-four years old. The last time we'd met, a year ago when I visited her in Toronto, she was married to her job as Creator Program Manager at Wattpad, an online platform for both writers and readers.

In short, all my life I've never been invited to a wedding before. It sounded impossible but it was the truth. Usually, when my parents' friends were getting married, my mom and dad went alone. I supposed it would be rude to join them when the invitation clearly marked two persons and not two and a half.

"Autumn dear, are you still there?"

Audrey's voice dragged me back to reality and I blinked several times, cursing myself for letting my mind drifted away. "Yes. Sorry, I was..." I cleared my throat then continued, "surprised, I guess. I thought Shanelle would be your bridesmaid."

Shanelle was Alexander Bernucci's daughter from his first marriage. I found it funny to call him Mr. Bernucci, and not Principal Bernucci, since not until last year, he has been my high school principal at Carlton High. Long before I knew that he was Tyler's biological father.

"Yes, Shan is one of the bridesmaids too. This is my first wedding and if I can have two beautiful girls as my bridesmaids, why the hell not?" Audrey let out a breathy laugh which brought a smile to my face. I could picture her looking so radiant and happy. "So, do you mind doing me this favor?"

"Of course!" I smiled. "I will make sure I watch The Bridesmaids so I know what my job is. I want it to be perfect for you."

"Oh dear, don't worry about it. Mostly, you just need to walk in front of me down the aisle and stand behind me when I and Alex exchange vows."

She informed me that the town would be ready before the wedding and I didn't have to do anything else but to be present on the big day. Cesar, my mom's favorite designer, had my measurements and currently working on the gowns that Shanelle and I would be wearing. It seemed that, like she just said, I didn't have to do anything.

Right before she ended the call, she said, "tell Tyler I miss him. He hasn't called me since he got there. If you could guilt trip him into calling me, I'll make sure your dress will be perfect."

I laughed. "I'll try my best, Audrey." We bid each other goodbye and ended the call. I tossed my phone beside me on the couch and leaned in to grab the remote control. I searched for The Bridesmaids and pressed play. I knew Audrey had told me that I didn't need to do anything but I felt that it would be better to know what was expected of me rather than disappoint everyone. I glanced at the front door, kinda hoping Tyler would be here with me. It would be so much fun to watch a romcom with him and not by myself.

No more than ten seconds after I put the phone down, it buzzed again. I wondered if Audrey forgot to tell me something but when I looked at the screen, it was a text from a series of numbers that I didn't recognize.

How's your head?

"Who the hell—" As if to answer my question, another text came in.

It's me. Frasier.

I rolled my eyes as I typed my reply.

How did you get my number?

I put the phone down and turned my attention to Melissa McCarthy on the screen. Before Megan, the character that Melissa played, even finished her sentence, my phone buzzed again. "For Hemmings' sake!" I put the movie on pause and grabbed my phone.

I have my ways. We're friends, aren't we? Yet you didn't bother to give me your digits.

His answer only made me more curious about how he got my number. It was only day four in Columbia and so far, I haven't given anyone my phone number. Not a single soul. Not even Ishita, who seemed to be a really nice girl.

Only one person, besides Tyler, who knew my phone number and that person wasn't even alive since it was an inanimate object called SIS —Student Information System— and no one, except the school's staffs, had the access code.

There was no way he hacked into the school's system right? Or did he pay someone to look up my records? How the hell did he get my phone number, seriously? I clicked my earlier message and resent it to him.

I decided to wait for his reply since I was so curious and I surely wouldn't be able to focus on watching Bridesmaids while thinking the one thousand possible ways to get my number. The phone in my hand buzzed.

I'll tell you over a drink. Interested?

I quickly typed and sent my reply.

Are you crazy?

I barely recovered from the last night. I was having a headache although it was not as bad as it had been this morning, yet I was still able to feel the tension pulsating against my temples and the back of my head. Since I wasn't a hypocrite, I wasn't going to make a stupid vow about not drinking alcohol anymore, but I would try my best to give my body a week rest. His reply was almost as short as his hair.

Then it's forever a mystery.

I rested my head against the couch and groaned. If I was lucky, I'd still be able soundly tonight. Another buzz then followed with another one. Too lazy to move my head, I lifted the phone in front of me and read.

Jokes. I'll tell you tomorrow.

Get some rest, temptress.

I was in the middle of typing a reply when another text came.

I mean it. Rest. Put the phone down.

I put my phone down and did exactly as he asked with a small smile on my face. An hour nap wouldn't hurt.

© All Rights Reserved 2018 Rosen

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