The thin sun rose over the courtyard of Acropolis, doing little to disperse the chilly fog that clung to the pieces of concrete that still littered the area. Natsu yawned and huddled closer to Gray, who was gripping his coffee cup tightly between his hands. The steam curled up through Gray's hair and over his head, dissipating in the early morning air. A chill crept under Natsu's jacket and he shivered.

"Don't chew your nails." Gray reached out and grabbed Natsu's hand, pulling it away from his mouth. Natsu huffed and Gray looked over at him. "You okay?"

"Mn," Natsu replied. The last week had been hectic, and being in the courtyard only reminded him of burning all those bodies, and the way the scent of scorched flesh had clung to him long after he'd scrubbed his skin raw in the shower. Gajeel was now leading a team to clear the rubble and reshape the courtyard, but it was all still a mess and a reminder of everything they'd failed to do.

"C'mere." Gray wrapped an arm around Natsu and rested their heads together, then kissed Natsu's temple. With everything that had been going on in the past two weeks, they only time they'd had to themselves were their few hours of restless sleep at night, curled up on the hard mattress in the officer's quarters and holding each other through their nightmares.

"You ready to head out?" Natsu lifted his head when Laxus stepped in front of them, holding out two fist-sized white patches. A flaming phoenix was emblazoned on the center of each of them – their new symbol of governance. Of hope.

"They look good." Gray took one of the badges and ran his fingers over the emblem. Freed had designed it after the Resistance leaders had come up with the symbol, and it now permanently adorned the breast of the white jacket Sting wore. "Hopefully people won't try to kill us on sight."

"That's what the secret knives are for," Laxus said conspiratorially, raising an eyebrow before moving on to the next group.

Natsu fixed the badge to the breast of his jacket, frowning at Laxus' retreating back. "Was he... do we have secret knives?" he asked. Gray shrugged.

"He probably does," Gray said, gesturing at Rogue, who was making his way toward them. "Secret knives," Gray clarified when Rogue looked puzzled. "I'm assuming you-"

"Sixteen." Rogue's face was impossible to read, and Natsu didn't know if he should laugh or be terrified. "That way you can protect yourself no matter what position you're in."

A hint of a smile tugged at Rogue's lip, but his gaze dropped to the spot just over Natsu's left shoulder. Natsu hesitated, thinking of Rogue in Undertown – Rogue, who probably had kept sixteen knives on him, and who had used them to stab dozens of men, who had either raped or tried to rape him. And there were hundreds more than he hadn't stabbed, but likely wished he had.

"You okay?" Gray asked gently, and Rogue shook his head, blinking away memories.

"Y-yes." He rubbed his eyes. "Yeah, it's..." Rogue tipped his head back, looking up at the sky. The sky was still dim, with gray clouds scudding across the dark water beyond the port. "Still getting used to this," he said, smiling. "Seeing the sky, sleeping somewhere safe. Not..." He trailed his fingers over a nearly-faded bruise on his wrist.

"We're, uh... headed to Sycca," Natsu said, glancing at the datapad that Freed had given him earlier. He made a face at the idea of riding on the maglev. "You staying here with Sting?"

Rogue glanced over at Sting, who was on the steps to the Acropolis, deep in conversation with Erza. Sting looked good, Natsu thought. He barely resembled the hard-faced man Natsu had met months ago in the Resistance hideout – he looked like a leader, here.

"You two off?" Edo-Natsu appeared, bumping Rogue's shoulder and giving him an uncertain smile. Natsu hadn't missed the awkward tension between them over the past week, and had tried to stay out of it. Rogue gave Edo-Natsu a gentle smile, squeezing his arm and then heading over toward Sting.

"How's Gray?" Natsu asked, taking in Edo-Natsu's haggard appearance. He looked like he hadn't slept in a week – he probably hadn't.

"Not... great," Edo-Natsu admitted, running a hand over his face. He sighed at both the boy's concerned expressions. "He's okay. Still throwing up everything he eats, in a lot of pain, fever's up and down. He's coming out of it, though, he knows where he is now. That... Sin..."

"There was a lot of awful shit down there," Gray sad sadly, eyes flicking over to Rogue's retreating figure. "Nobody here knows anything about the withdrawal?"

"Nothing helpful," Natsu said, shaking his head. "There's none of the drug left here, so we couldn't take him off it gradually. And nobody's going back to Undertown anytime soon. The Zeurocol stims helped a bit with the pain – if you find any more that might help." Natsu nodded and tapped the name into the datapad.

"We'll see what we can find," Gray said, reaching out and grasping Edo-Natsu's arm. "We'll come find you when we get back."

"Thanks." Edo-Natsu smiled, genuine beneath the exhaustion and worry. "Well... good luck, I guess." He squeezed Gray's forearm affectionately, then nodded toward the gates that led out toward the maglev station. "Go make us proud."

_____

Natsu spent the entire train ride trying his best not to be sick.

The maglev rails ran across the water, spanning the distance between Imperium and Sycca. The trains moved faster than any vehicle Natsu had been on before, and the world outside the windows blurred past as he rested his head on Gray's lap, grateful for the sensation of cool fingers on the back of his neck.

When they finally arrived in Sycca and stepped off the train, they both froze in shock. "Holy shit," Gray whispered.

The riots had destroyed the city. Entire city blocks were burnt down, rickety black skeletons of twisted metal the only things left that were once apartment blocks and shops. Several tents were set up outside the maglev station, providing emergency prepacks and wear to the citizens, who were lined up in snaking rows that wove between the city blocks.

"You guys here to help?" Natsu turned at the sound of Lucy's voice and he felt a strange pang of homesickness. Even though it wasn't his Lucy, he couldn't help the wistful feeling. He shoved it away, trying to focus on the present.

"Hey, Lucy," he said, giving her a timid wave and stepping away from the maglev platform. She was wearing her usual outfit, but the phoenix emblem was attached to her jacket.

"You're part of Epsilon Squad," she said, gesturing for Gray to hold out their datapad. She tapped it a few times and brought up a map. "Your area – Upper Eastside – is pretty close to the shield generator. It got hit bad by the fighting, but it's a pretty scanty area so not many of the folks have come forward."

"Scanty?" Natsu asked.

"Poor," Lucy replied shortly. Then she looked up at Natsu, her face softening. "Nothing like Undertown, though. It doesn't get that bad up here." He nodded. "Right now you're just doing recon. Asking questions, seeing what you can do. You can take some of the emergency stock packs and medkits, but we're gonna send another squad later this week with what they properly need."

Gray picked up one of the small, black packs and handed it to Natsu, then hefted another one over his shoulder. "Should we expect...?" He trailed off, hand traveling to the gun holstered at his hip. Lucy shrugged.

"Can't hurt to be prepared," she said, eyes already on the next group of volunteers. "Stay sharp, and good luck."

_____

The streets of Upper Eastside were narrow and dark – not much sunlight filtered down to the ground. Buildings stretched up into the sky, most of them blackened and burned, with twisted metal poking out from shattered bricks and cement. It was clear that this hadn't been a good part of town, even before the battle.

Natsu was both surprised and relieved that they were met with gratitude and friendliness. As soon as they entered the area they were approached by citizens, and by the time the early evening rolled around, Gray's datapad was filled with notes, and the stock packs and medkits they'd brought were gone.

"Fuck, I'm exhausted," Natsu said, slumping down on what used to be a fountain, but was now a vaguely-circular-shaped pile of rubble. He pulled a nutribar from his pack and began to eat it, making a face at the bland taste. The sun was starting to set, but the smoke that still lingered in the sky muted the colors and made the fading light thin.

"Lexa, come back here!" A little girl came barreling down the street and ran straight up to Natsu, crashing into his legs and tumbling to the ground. She couldn't have been more than four or five, with a dirty face and blonde hair pulled back into pigtails, and she stared up at him with an intensity that didn't match her age.

Natsu reached out to help her up, and when he touched her, he froze. Something about her was different.

"Hey, sweetheart," he said slowly, tilting his head and staring at her curiously.

"I'm so sorry, sir." A tired-looking young woman caught up to the little girl, reaching out a hand to drag her away. Natsu shook his head, looking up at the woman and smiling.

"It's okay," Gray said, gesturing at the emblem on his jacket. "I'm Gray and this is Natsu, we came to help here. What's your name?"

The woman looked at Gray warily, then replied, "Annabeth." She looked down at her daughter. "I'm so sorry, she..."

Natsu let the woman talk to Gray as he focused again on the little girl. "What's your name, darling?" he asked quietly.

She looked up at Annabeth, who gave her a hesitant nod. "Lexa," the girl said quietly. Her eyes dropped from Natsu's face to the phoenix emblem on his jacket. "That's pretty."

"It's a phoenix," he explained, still trying to figure out what was different about her. There was an energy around her, something sparking and thrumming that he could feel in his fingertips. "It's a special kind of bird. It means hope."

"Are we in trouble?" Annabeth asked. Natsu looked up at her terrified expression and realization hit him.

"She has magic, doesn't she?" Natsu asked.

Gray looked down sharply, and Lexa backed away from Natsu, face dropping into something closed off and afraid. Annabeth dropped to her knees, wrapping her arms around her daughter.

"Please don't take her," Annabeth begged.

"It's okay," Natsu reassured her quickly, crouching down on the ground in front of them. "It's okay, Faust- he's gone, it's..." He looked up at Gray, whose expression was wary. "It's not – nobody's gonna get in trouble. Look."

Gray knelt down beside them, holding out a hand and forming a small flower of ice in his palm. Lexa's eyes widened and she leaned forward, touching it hesitantly. Her mother let out a sigh of relief, eyes flicking forth between Gray and Natsu.

"She's... we've been hiding it for so long," she whispered, stroking Lexa's hair. Lexa huddled back against her, looking uncertain but staring up at Natsu. "He would have taken her, he would have-"

"He's gone now," Natsu reassured her, glancing over at Gray. They hadn't even considered that there were still those outside the guilds who had been hiding magical abilities. "It's safe. Nobody's going to take her."

"You too?" Lexa's voice was curious as she looked at the ice flower, then up at Natsu. He smiled and held his hand out as well, summoning the smallest, most non-threatening flame he could make. Lexa backed up a bit, but the expression on her face quickly transformed from fear to curiosity.

"What kind of magic can you do?" Natsu asked gently. Lexa looked up at her mom again, eyes wide and uncertain.

"Can I show them, mama?" she asked. Annabeth's eyes flicked back and forth between Gray and Natsu, then her face softened and she nodded. Lexa slowly held her hands out in front of her. At first, nothing happened. Then the air in front of her began to shimmer, like looking through campfire smoke.

"Not too fax, Lexa," Annabeth warned. Lexa pouted, then squinted over to the other side of the ruined fountain. The air there began to shimmer as well, and Lexa grinned at them proudly.

"Door!" she said excitedly. She picked up a rock, tossing it through the blurred space in front of her. It disappeared, then clattered to the ground on the other side of the fountain. "Me, too?"

Natsu looked over at Gray uncertainly as Lexa grabbed his hand, pulling up and tugging him toward the shimmering field. He braced himself as he walked through it, feeling a chill run up his arms, and then-

-then they were on the other side of the fountain, and he felt slightly out of breath. Lexa jumped up and down excitedly, squeezing his hand.

"Holy shit," Natsu whispered, looking back over at Gray, whose expression of tentative excitement mirrored his own. "Holy shit, she can make portals."

_____

"New mages?" Sting's voice was crackly through the datapad, but Gray could hear the excitement in his voice. "Of course there would be, the kids... gods, I can't believe we didn't think about it. How many have you found?"

"Eight, so far," Gray replied. He looked over to where Natsu was holding a toddler on his hip and grinning at her. They were settled in a cleared-out room that used to be a warehouse before the riots claimed it. Several sets of parents milled around with their children, and Gray could see flashes of magic from the corner of his eye.

"So you want... should we open the guilds again?" Sting's eyes were wide and excited, ignoring the fatigue that colored the rest of his features. "Start accepting new mages?"

"I don't know about the other guilds," Gray replied, rubbing his face. "But... we could try to set up Fairy Tail again. Here, in Sycca, maybe? Nobody from here would send their kids to Imperium."

"Good point." Sting thought for a moment, tapping his fingers on his desk. They had set up an office for him in Acropolis, and Gray was impressed by how official everything seemed. He wouldn't have been surprised if, when the elections finally came around, the people voted for Sting to remain in power.

"We can see what we have to work with here," Gray said. "We can- I mean, we're not experts or anything, but Natsu and I can control our magic. We could teach the kids. Some of the others could come back too, if they wanted."

"I know Laxus and Freed aren't keen on staying here," Sting replied, turning to the vidscreen beside him and pulling up several files. "Lucy and Levy might, not sure about Gajeel. There's a handful more from the other guilds, but..."

"Yeah," Gray said, looking around the room again. The eight families had come forward eagerly after Annabeth had told them about the potential new guild, and Gray imagined more would show up in the days to come. He sighed, wishing Makarov were here.

"You okay?" Sting asked. Gray turned back to the datapad, hesitating before answering.

"One of the kids... she can make portals."

Sting's face transformed slowly into an expression of tentative hope and excitement. "That's incredible! She could- if she worked with Freed, with his runes, and the tech... some of the mages used to interface with it, we could-"

"We're trying not to get our hopes up," Gray said quietly, looking over at Natsu again. He was smiling, but it didn't quite meet his eyes. Ever since their fight in the courtyard, Natsu's anger and frustration had been softer and more subdued, but it was clear that he was still grieving. "She's only four, I mean, it's impressive, but..."

"I understand," Sting said. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I'll talk to Erza, see about setting something up for you in Sycca – an old hotel or something, if the families want to stay. We'll figure it out."

"Thanks," Gray said, looking down as one of the children grabbed his pant leg and stared up at him expectantly. "I gotta go, but we'll talk soon. We're sending someone back with those stims for Gray, hopefully they'll help."

Gray could tell that Sting was trying to keep his emotions in check, but the frustration and sadness that appeared on his face at the mention of Edo-Gray were obvious. Gray wished he hadn't said anything.

"Thanks," Sting said softly. "He's... a bit better. I'll make sure they get to him."

There was an awkward silence, then Gray gave Sting a tired smile. "Talk soon?"

"Talk soon," Sting agreed, and then the transmission ended, leaving Gray with a room full of magic and no idea what to do with it.

_____

_____

Gray hadn't gone this long without Sin since he'd started it three years ago. Twelve agonizing days had passed, and the world around him moved on while he shivered and shook and threw up. Every part of him ached, and for the first few days he'd been certain he was going to die. Now, he kind of wished he had.

"Hey, love." Natsu's face appeared in his field of vision and Gray blinked slowly, swallowing against the nausea that was always present. "You know where you are?" Gentle fingers stroked Gray's back and he shivered at the touch.

"Yeah," he mumbled. An icy hand touched his forehead and he groaned, wrapping his arms around himself. Wasn't Natsu supposed to be warm? Cool fingers brushed Gray's sweaty bangs out of his face. "C-cold."

"You're burning up again," Natsu murmured softly. Gray shivered, feeling his jaw seize up from the tension. When he opened his eyes again, the room was still spinning. "C'mon, let's get you back in the shower."

Gray didn't have the strength to argue. He let Natsu pull back the blankets and tug him to his feet, then guide him across the room and into the ensuite until he was sitting on the floor of the shower. There was a hiss as the water started up and he flinched as cold droplets began to hit his skin.

"N-need... warm," he mumbled, pulling his knees to his chest and pressing his forehead to them. Natsu sat down next to him, bare skin pressed together, and he wrapped his arm around Gray, pulling him close.

"You've got a fever," Natsu said, maneuvering Gray under the stream of cool water and running fingers through Gray's hair. "You've gotta cool down or we'll need to get Wendy to come back."

"N-no," Gray argued, shaking his head. He immediately regretted it – blood pounded between his ears and the room shook violently. "Frak, gods, I n-need... I c-can't..." Sharp pain shot up his arms and he realized that he was digging his fingernails into his skin.

"Stop that," Natsu said gently, pulling Gray's hands into his lap. "You're gonna be okay."

Gray tipped his head sideways and looked at Natsu. His hair was plastered to his scalp and water dripped down his face, but his gaze remained on Gray, strong and steady. The look on his face was one of pure trust – complete faith that Gray could do this, could get better.

Was that enough to make it true?

"I wanna... w-wanna go home with you," Gray mumbled, reaching out and touching Natsu's cheek. Another violent spasm had him pulling away in pain, but Natsu reached up and grabbed his hand, squeezing it tightly. "Gnghhh, it h-hurts."

"I know, love," Natsu said gently, kissing Gray's knuckles and shifting closer to him. Gray's jaw clenched again and he groaned, pain spiking through his head and nausea slamming through him. He gasped, turning away from Natsu and retching. There was nothing in his stomach for him to throw up, and bile burned the back of his throat.

"Gods..." he gasped, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and shaking violently. "I'm so... gods, I'm so s-stupid." He pulled himself tighter into the ball, shaking as the cold water slammed against his skin, burning like sparks up and down his arms. "I h-hate this."

"I know," Natsu said softly, brushing Gray's hair out of his face and kissing his forehead. "But you can do it. I believe in you."

The conviction in his voice made Gray's chest tighten painfully. Natsu believed in him.

Maybe he could believe in himself, too.

_____

Natsu sat on the bed, flipping through files and reports on his datapad. Other-Gray had been sending him updates on the new guild – a few days ago, Laxus and Freed had returned to Sycca to start rebuilding a place for the new mages to stay. The idea of a new generation of magic-users made Natsu feel light. The sickness had burned away, and new saplings were growing from the remains of the dead things left behind.

A ping at the door made him look up from the datapad. Gray stood in the doorway of their room, arms crossed over his chest. He looked exhausted, but healthy. The Sin had finally made its way out of his system after three long weeks, and just yesterday he'd managed to keep down a meal without throwing it up.

Gray stepped into the room and the door slid closed behind him. He moved over to the bed, then reached out his hand to pull Natsu to his feet.

"I'm coming with you." Gray said softly. Natsu's breath caught in his throat as he searched Gray's face – Gray's eyes were clear, no trace of confusion or uncertainty. This wasn't the drugs talking, or the fever. This was Gray – his Gray.

"You..." Natsu trailed off and ran a hand over Gray's cheek, fingers tracing the shape of his scar. He brushed his thumb over Gray's lips and Gray turned his head, pressing a kiss in Natsu's palm.

"I know we can- we can't go back," Gray said, voice breaking. "It's never gonna be the same. But... I love you, and I can't... I can't lose you again. You're my heart." Gray brought his hand up to grip the ring on the chain around his neck, and Natsu wiped at the tears that were already slipping from Gray's eyes.

"What about... Sting?" Natsu whispered, chest aching. "And Rogue..."

Gray squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head. He swallowed a few times, fighting to get the words out, and Natsu's heart ached. He never wanted this. He didn't want Gray to have to choose.

"I can't..." Gray took a shaky breath. "I still love them. I can't stop." Natsu's chest tightened and he gripped Gray's hand tighter. "They're always gonna be... I can't forget them. And maybe that means you and I won't- won't work, but I... I have to try." Gray rubbed his eyes. "I need... to say goodbye to them."

A soft sob broke out of his throat and Natsu felt guilty weighing heavy in his chest. He pulled Gray into a tight embrace, kissing his head.

"I'm so sorry," he breathed. "I don't want... I didn't mean for you to lose..." His voice left him and all he could do was cry softly against Gray.

"I know," Gray whispered. "I know, I'm - it's not your fault. It's me, and this, and I just... frak, I'm so tired. Of everything, the- the fighting, and the killing and... and the nightmares." He clutched Natsu's shirt tightly. "I have to stay away from... I can't be like this anymore, I have to be better. I have to be." He shook his head against Natsu's chest. "I missed you every godsdamned day, and I can't throw that away."

"I love you," Natsu said shakily. "I was so lonely. I missed you so much, I watched... I watched you die and it hurt so badly. I thought I was gonna die too." The tears were dripping down his cheeks now, soaking into Gray's hair, and his breaths were coming in sharp gasps. "I'm so sorry. I don't want to hurt you."

Gray tipped his head up and pulled Natsu into a gentle kiss. Natsu made a soft noise against Gray's lips, leaning in and running his hand up Gray's arm. Each press of their lips said so many things – whispers of sorrow, screams of regret, cries of guilt. They broke apart after a minute and Gray shivered, resting his forehead against Natsu's.

"I just..." he hesitated, taking Natsu's hand and playing with the ring on his finger. "I need... I need to say goodbye. Is that okay?"

Natsu knew that Gray meant with more than just words and it made his chest ache, but he nodded anyway. "Of course, love," he whispered. "Take all the time you need."

_____

"You're going with him." Rogue's voice was soft and Gray couldn't meet his eyes, keeping his gaze trained on the floor. A heavy silence hung in the air between them until Sting reached out and took Gray's arm, gently pulling him into the bedroom. The door whooshed shut behind them and Gray sat down heavily on the bed.

"I can't..." he started but he choked on the words, dropping his head into his hands. He couldn't do this. How could he say goodbye? How could he leave them, leave the people who'd seen him broken and put him back together? "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be sorry," Sting said roughly, crouching down in front of Gray. He ran his hands up Gray's thighs as Rogue sat down on the bed, running his hand down Gray's back. "We understand. You've missed him for a long time."

"But I love you," Gray sobbed, wrapping his arms around his stomach. "I can't stop and I'm s-sorry, I c-can't – you s-saved my life and I c-can't..." he took a shaky breath. "I'll miss you so much."

"We'll miss you too," Rogue said quietly, and Gray could hear the pain in his voice. Hundreds of memories flashed through Gray's mind – soft kisses, familiar touches, gentle words, loving hands. Rogue's touch had been the first one that hadn't hurt him in two years. They had given him so much and loved even the broken pieces.

"Mi bedaŭras min," Gray sobbed, turning and burying his face on Rogue's shoulder. "I don't know if I can live without you." Everything hurt and his chest ached, but he kept picturing pink hair and gentle hands and Natsu's lopsided smile. He couldn't lose that. He couldn't lose this. Everything was falling apart.

"You can," Sting said, reaching up to touch Gray's cheek. "And you're not losing us. We'll still be here."

"It's..." Gray swallowed, pulling back from Rogue and reaching up to trail a gentle finger down his cheek. "I'm..."

Rogue pulled him closer, hesitating and staring into Gray's eyes for permission before pressing their lips together. Gray let out a soft moan, bringing his hand to the back of Rogue's neck and tugging him in closer. He hadn't kissed Rogue in weeks, but the sensation of his lips was so familiar, imprinted into Gray's body. He could never forget this – would never forget this.

Sting moved up onto the bed behind Gray and his lips brushed the back of Gray's neck. Gray sighed, reaching back and running a hand through Sting's hair. Rogue's fingers were on Gray's cheeks, and he felt Sting's hand drift down his side to caress his stomach.

"Is this okay?" Sting asked, words whispered against Gray's skin. "Is he-"

"I said I needed to say goodbye," Gray said, voice breaking. "I can't..."

Sting tipped Gray's head back and kissed him, rough and steady like Gray was used to, and Gray turned and gripped his shoulders, trying to breathe. Rogue's hands were in Gray's hair and on his hips and he shivered, biting Sting's lip and then tipping his head to the side while Sting trailed gentle kisses down his neck.

"C'mere," Sting said roughly, tugging Gray until he was straddling Sting's thighs while Sting pressed kisses along his collarbone. Gray moaned softly, dragging his fingers through Sting's hair and leaning back against Rogue, who had moved to stand behind him. Rogue's chest was warm against Gray's back, and Gray could feel a steady heartbeat through his thin shirt.

Gray's breath came in short gasps as Sting brought his hands up under Gray's shirt, drifting them over his chest as he placed soft, open-mouthed kisses up the side of Gray's neck. Rogue's hands were on his hips now and Gray rocked forward out of instinct, moaning softly at Sting's fingers pressing over the scars on his back. It felt so good, so familiar, so-

-no. He closed his eyes and saw Natsu's soft eyes and sweet smile, and he pulled back.

"Frak, I... I can't." He swallowed heavily and rested his forehead against Sting's, feeling the tears come again. "I want... I can't."

"It's okay," Sting whispered, bringing his hands up over Gray's shirt and running them up and down his back. "We understand. We're gonna miss you so much, but... you need to go. It's better for you. He'll take care of you, things... you'll be okay."

"What if I can't be?" Gray's voice broke and he collapsed forward onto Sting's chest, shoulders shaking. Sting made a soft noise and shifted until they were lying on the bed, Gray tucked under Sting's chin, while Rogue curled up behind Gray with an arm around him. "What if I... if we go and th-then I'm just... I'm too b-broken and h-he'll..."

"And he'll love you," Rogue said gently, kissing Gray's neck. "It's going to be hard, but you both know that. He loves you so much, karulino."

"It hurts," Gray whimpered, pulling tighter in on himself. "You're... part of me and it hurts."

"I know it does, amataj," Sting whispered, holding Gray tightly and looking over at Rogue with heartbroken eyes. "I know it does."

_____

Gray's chest ached as he stood next to Natsu at the maglev platform. The wind whipped around them and he crossed his arms over his stomach, glad they'd found a place to wait that was far away from the other passengers. He felt sick and scared an on the edge of tears.

"It's okay," Natsu whispered, touching Gray's lower back gently. Gray couldn't help flinching at the touch and he flushed, embarrassed. "We can wait, we don't have to go now."

"Yes, we do." Gray looked up at the tracks that spanned the ocean to the mainland. The sky was gray again, clouds obscuring the faint light of the sun, and Gray was glad for it. It felt a little like Undertown again – dark and cramped and familiar.

There was a familiar whirring sound as the maglev pulled into the station, and Gray's feet felt frozen to the ground. Gods, it hurt, he couldn't leave.

He had to leave.

"I'll wait for you in there, okay?" Natsu said softly, then turned to hug Sting and Rogue, who had come up behind them. They both pulled Natsu into tight embraces, pressing kisses to his cheek before letting him go.

"I'm-"

"Don't say you're sorry," Rogue said gently, eyes wet with tears. "Just – take care of him. He needs you."

Natsu nodded, then gave the two of them one final look filled with both hope and regret, before he turned and boarded the train. Gray stood still, facing the doors of the maglev and holding himself tightly. He couldn't fight the tears anymore and they left hot trails down his cheeks.

"C'mere," Sting said softly, touching Gray's elbow. Gray turned and let Sting pull him into his arms, trembling against Sting's chest. Sting ran his hand over Gray's hair, pulling Gray's head to rest on his shoulder.

"We'll still talk," Rogue said, joining the embrace and kissing Gray's cheek. "Maybe come visit, once things calm down here. This isn't goodbye."

Gray tried to reply but his throat was thick with tears and he couldn't say anything. What was there to say?

He reached up to trace his finger over the phoenix on Sting's jacket, trying to pull hope from the symbol. Everything was burning to ash, but beautiful things grew from destruction. Natsu believed in him, and maybe with his love, Gray could be more than a disaster.

Gray inhaled shakily, taking in everything he could from the embrace – the feel of Sting's rough fingers on the back of his neck, the scent of soap that lingered in Rogue's hair, the way he fit so neatly in their arms. He pulled himself reluctantly out of the embrace, then kissed them both, hoping that the gesture conveyed everything he couldn't say.

An awkward cough interrupted them and Gray looked over to see Gajeel standing next to them, looking uncomfortable.

"I, uh, wanted to do somethin' for you before you left." Gajeel's voice was rough and he shifted from foot to foot, hands in his pockets. He looked up at Gray and gestured to the chain around his neck that held his ring. "Can I, uh... can I see it?"

Gray frowned, bringing his hand up to the chain and gripping the ring tightly. He knew Gajeel well enough to trust that he wouldn't do anything dangerous, but wariness kept him hesitant.

"I'm not gonna- just-"

"Here." Gray finally found his voice and pulled the chain over his head, reaching out hesitantly and placing it in Gajeel's hand. Gajeel looked at it carefully, then looked at Gray's hand. He touched the metal and it began to shift, slowly shrinking in size.

"Try it." Gajeel handed the ring back to Gray and Gray stared at it before slipping it onto his finger. It fit perfectly, and the weight of it there after so many years made his chest hurt.

"Dankon," he whispered, not meeting Gajeel's eyes. He wasn't sure if Gajeel knew what this meant to him, but he knew that if he made eye contact now, Gray would fall apart. "Thank you."

"Yeah," Gajeel replied gruffly. "See ya, I guess." Then he turned around and stalked back toward Acropolis, hands shoved in his pockets.

Gray stood for a moment, stunned, before stepping back from Sting and Rogue and looking at the ground between them. He swallowed heavily, running his finger over the ring – the ring that fit him again, that he could wear to show that he loved the man waiting for him on the train.

What did he have to show his love for Sting and Rogue? Did he have to keep that hidden? Or was that love written on all his scars they'd helped to heal?

"Go," Rogue whispered, and Gray finally looked up, meeting their eyes and almost wishing he hadn't. The air was tense with grief and everything hurt. Gray took another step backward, wanting to touch them one last time but knowing he couldn't.

"Adiaŭo," he whispered. "Mi ĉiam amos vin. I'll always love you." Then, before they could reply, Gray turned and walked away, focusing on Natsu's smiling face through the window, and the heavy weight of the silver ring on his finger.

_____

Underspeak Translations

Mi bedaŭras min = I'm so sorry
Karulino = sweetheart
Amataj = heart/beloved
Dankon = thank you
Adiaŭo = goodbye
Mi ĉiam amos vin = I'll always love you