"This is it," I spoke to my reflection. I spoke to the girl who looked back at me, apprehensive of my decisions.

Since long, my reflection wasn't convinced of my modus operandi. She always assumed I was either doing things to forget about Philip or undertaking relationship with men who struck a resemblance to him. In toto, there was never a day when Philip remained elusive from my mind. Even today, my deciding to meet up Steve seemed to be an attempt to shove away Philip's thoughts.

After the family dinner at John and Philips', there was no doubt that John would reunite Philip's girlfriends with him. Although she was still an ex, every part of me wanted to rattle John in his decision to bring her back. But it was Sasha told of the truth, uncovered the secret. I was never a contender for Philip's love or affection. Mine was a one sided love and it would remain such. Unrequited.

With thoughts engulfing me, my eyes teared up. 

So close, yet to far. That was how fate decided to intervene in our lives. He moved away and every part of me broke into pieces, knowing well he would never return. But the cruel play of luck didn't halt its play. I was offered the job in the same restaurant where he worked. Coincidences had a strange way of toying with people and I was the latest of its victims.

Beep Beep. My phone chimed up, displaying the time. 

I dragged my purse and phone and zoomed out of the door and into a cab. Thoughts about my current stay mocked me. I was yet to find a place. It was John's kindness which I was exploiting, alongwith his credit. Throughout the drive, I checked for residencies around the restaurant. After scanning through details, I gave up and dialed John.

It was their last day in California. Tomorrow morning, they would wake up bright and happy in Roseville while I would be remain company less in a new city.

"Hello there," John answered the call. In his background Sasha was clearly audible.

"Guys, I am gonna miss you. Can't you stay for a bit longer?" I could hear chuckles from the speaker. 

"The last time we met was at family dinner and that was a whole week ago. Still you want us to stay?" John's question was valid. I was caught up with work to spend any time with them. And now, when the realization donned that my support staff was leaving, I felt lonelier. "I know," Sasha's voice floated across. "Work keeps you busy but baby, we gotta go back home to the kids and the shop too."

Yup. They had a family and I had to somehow adjust to the new reality. The one where John and Sasha wouldn't be there to support everything I did. I had to finally come to terms that I was an adult and my dependence on everyone had to cease. 

"But.." I held back words, knowing well Sasha would be missing her twins. She was a second mother to me when I was working for John. A woman who helped me with all my heartbreaks, a comforting shoulder which held my head while I wailed. The strong woman who helped me navigate through my feelings for Philip. It was Sasha, who understood what I felt for Philip wasn't merely a crush.

"But baby," Sasha took over the phone. Her heightened voice reached me. "We will always come and visit you and whenever you have a couple of days off, you too can come.." I nodded, feeling a pang in my heart. I hadn't felt the rock holding its ground even while leaving my folks but with John and Sasha, it was goodbye all over again.

The cab came to a halt around the coffee shop which Steve texted. I stated my goodbyes on the call and looked out. Although a part of me wanted to tell the driver to drive me back to the hotel where I could sleep off the weariness of the conversation, I decided to try something new. Move ahead.

The place in front of me was a normal hangout center. Inside, the dim lighting and cozy corners with square tables and soft music gave the place a beautiful vibe. I checked my phone for the time. Five minutes early.

Sliding into a corner booth, my eyes remained fixed on the world displayed through the window. The sun shone bright. It was prickly and humid, something which I detested all my life. The world outside seemed to resemble a theater set, bright lit with orange and yellow lights. With cars rushing on the road, I squinted my eyes to see what they would look like.

"Is the seat taken?" I turned around. Breath escaped my lungs. Philip and Luke stood near me. I half rose on the chair before falling back when my thighs hit the bottom of the table.

"What are you both doing here?"

"Philip gets his coffee here and I am here for some work," Luke answered on behalf of both.

"So to come back to the question," Philip gestured his walking stick over to the empty chair in front of me. "Is the seat taken?"

"No, of course not."

Here we go again. Falling back into the pit which took me ages to crawl out of.

Sliding opposite to me, Philip's head tilt seemed to be an indicator for Luke to leave. With a fictitious hat topped gesture, Luke disappeared behind the door.

Checking my phone, I knew this meeting would have to be cut short with Steve's arrival. 

"Philip," I called him out. His head tilted towards me and his eyes met mine. It still arrested my words although for him, I assumed, I was a mere faceless voice. "The thing is, I was supposed to meet someone here. So if that.."

"Say no more," Philip's leaned over and without any chance of expression, his hand slid close to mine. I swear I felt sparks of electricity run through my skin. "When your date arrives, I will leave." Running his hand over his cane, Philip folded it. "The thing is, you are seated at the place I usually sit. So.."

"Oh I am so sorry. I can move.."

His hand arrested my wrist. My heart skipped a beat and jolted up into my throat. My chest deflated with the lack of oxygen. I watched the green eyed man sliding his hand away from mine with a hushed apology. "I like the company. After all, it was you who made me a coffee addict."

"Well I beg to differ," I raised my hands up in defense. "You had it coming for years, not drinking coffee. I was merely a catalyst."

"And a good one at that," he pointed. With his hand wave, a smiling waitress stood near our table.

"Yes Philip, the regular?" she asked.

He nodded. "Yes. And anything the lady wants."

She took our orders, which I barely recollected. My ears replayed the words lady, time and again. I was no more the girl who worked under his brother. I was a lady. A fucking grown ass lady.

"So are you liking the work Marcy is giving you?" Philip prodded. I turned my head vigorously. Whatever precious time I had with him, I didn't want it wasted over work conversations. 

"Let's not shop talk." 

He chuckled at my words, leaning back in his chair. "Fine, what do you want to talk about?"

"I don't know," warmth spread over my cheeks. I looked away towards the streets which still looked like like the brightly lit theater production. "You start."

Talking to Philip was like rattling a butterfly nest. My stomach fluttered and I kept digging my teeth into my lower lip, unable to withstand his gaze over me.

"Fine, so when are you coming back to the house for dinner?" His question pulled me off guard. I assumed it was a one time thing. The one where I was invited as John and Sasha were present. "Mom loved talking to you. She now knows what John raved about."

"I am sure you are exaggerating," another hand wave in the air later, I drew a deeper breath to infuse more blood back into my organs, all of which was accumulated on my face.

"Hand to god no. She wanted to meet you again. Dad too. It was me who asked them to hold their horses."

"Why?" was a saddened tone which emerged. Did he not want me around him and his folks?

Get a grip Daisy. My conscience smacked my reverie. Remembered the decision to move on from him. Don't fall back into the vicious circle.

"Because I told them you are busy impressing everyone with your culinary skills." I giggled, hearing his words like a school girl. "Oh I forgot to mention. I loved your veal chops."

My heart launched up a thousand time and every cell in my body was fired from his compliments. I was sure, if someone tried touching me, they would have been electrocuted. I was like freaking live wire. By the time coffee and croissant was served, I dunked my lips into the searing hot beverage but felt nothing. It was Philip's words which made me feel heated on the inside.

"You had my food?" I asked, staring at his face. The images of me leaning over the table and pulling him towards me for a kiss, ran wild. "But Marcy said it was for someone special."

He chuckled. "I am the special one. I sometimes critique the serving before its placed on the menu."

"Ohh so you have a rich diverse palette?" I know. My flirtation radar was off. It was broken bad. Speaking of flirting, my eyes slid to the phone. Almost an hour late, Steve seemed to be the unchivalrous bastard who didn't bother shooting a text. He was ghosting me.

"So Daisy, you still haven't told me when your date would arrive?" Philip's voice carried a concerned tone. He didn't turn away or bother checking the surrounding, although none of it would have mattered. With his stare searing my skin, I gulped down the dryness in my mouth. 

"It seems, I am stood up."

"Who would dare do that to you?" he spoke in a humorous yet annoyed tone, chuckling. Was my suffering funny?

"You are enjoying it, aren't you? 

His index drew a cross over his chest. As he leaned over, his biceps bulged up, filling up sleeves of the white shirt he donned. "I most certainly am. But not the fact that you got stood up. Its your company."

Ohh. My heart dived onto my stomach and disappeared. I might have been flatlining on his words. Leaning my head back, I inhaled the cold air thrown from the centralized air conditioning. "I enjoy your company too," were let out. 'I hoped it was us on a date' remained behind the walls of my chest.

A few moments in silence, when Philip sipped his coffee and closed his eyes as the richness engulfed him, resonated with me. The barista in me loved every ounce of his reaction as if this was indeed the first coffee he ever drank.

"You come here often?" he asked, sliding his cup on the table.

"Nope, first time." And yet, it would be the most memorable.

"Then let me tell you," he plucked up the menu and dragged his finger over the section, correctly placing it on the beverage section. "These ones, 4 5 and 6 are a must try. If you are into dark bitter beverages then the last four but if you are anything like me, then you would love number three."

I checked the name. French Cafe au Lait.

"You know its for people in France whenever they have chilly mornings? Not for L.A. where half the time everyone sips ice teas."

"You know what? You are right. It is for cold times but I remember John telling me that you are always cold. So you are not the right person to make that statement."

"What did he tell you exactly?" I pretended to roll my eyes while my eardrums resonated the beatings of my heart onto the ribcage.

With a head tilt towards the window, Philip smiled. "I made myself fall into a trap? Didn't I?"

"Maybe!" Suddenly the urge to intertwine my fingers into his rose up. "What did you guys talk about?"

I was desperate. Holding onto the last shred of patience while I stared at the man whose cheeks were dusted pink. Put me out of my misery, Philip. Let me have something to tuck you away in my memory as a happy thought. Something to let me remember you every time I even picturize to move on.

"Just random stuff. Like how you talk and walk and how your nose cringes every time you sneeze." Suddenly, his head turned towards me with a longingness in his eyes. "I have never considered not being able to see as a curse till the day I met you."

~

Somethings are worth seeing but others, worth feeling