Have you even had a crush on someone so bad that when they left, you almost.. yes almost though your life was over. And even thought it seemed like a crush, it stayed on and tortured you for however long you'd remember. The days felt longer and even though you tried all possible ways to get on with it, throwing yourself into activities or friends or several different haircuts and styles, nothing worked.

The nights were tougher because the mind and heart knew that you were finally lonely to start their feud. Hope and logic would fight to death and dance in front of you. You would want to decide at a moment to leave, somehow hitch a ride to meet him but then your mind will rationalize the truth. The cold harsh truth that he was older and probably has a girlfriend.

Worst, when you'd compare all the guys you'd met to him. Philip became the yardstick again which everyone else was measured and declared a failure. Philip was my Mr. Darcy whom I'd never got to meet again.

That was my past four years. An infinite loop of hope and despair. Carrying heartache with a flickering hope of meeting him and a knot in my gut everytime the hope faded. I was a zombie when it came to men. I felt nothing, I loved nothing. My admiration rooted itself into obsession. Everytime Sasha or John reiterated his name, my body would alight itself as if he was physically present. It took a couple of years, drawn over a course of a century to get over him. Or to imbibe in me, the assumption.

Whoever said strangers come into your life for a reason had to meet me so we could exchange notes.

"Ms. Thomas," the assistant waited for me to look at her. Once I did, her smile enveloped her face before words fell. "Mr. Fernandez will see you now."

Backed against the wall, I stood clenching my chest as if my heart needed a physical intervention, beating faster than usual. Nodding at her, I gestured a finger asking for a few spare minute to compose.

Palpitation rocked my body and my head was spinning at its axis as if I saw a dead man walking. To be clear, I did indeed saw the ghost of my past. Standing in the present, he might not know who I was but I had a hard time forgetting him, his face. His smile. Heck, I was still trying.

People who made impact in ones lives weren't easily forgettable. They stayed with their marking on us. Philip's interaction with me was was only limited to one time but he left a mark on me before leaving. A stranger who taught me to be proud of ones scars.

Plunging my hand in the bag, I felt around for a smooth plastic, picking up which I dialed my mentor. John was quick to respond and I ran with my question.

"Did you know it was Philip?" I placed my hand on the speaker and whispered.

There was silent at his end. For a whole minute it remained so. Then he announced. "I am putting you on speaker." Sasha's muffled voice floated across. "What happened? Did he say something?"

My eyes widened at the implication. Sasha knew about my crush and she was sworn to secrecy on pinkies and the suspense reveals of the shows which she didn't get a chance to finish, if she ever told her husband about it.

But her question made it evident. Not only did John knew but apparently, so did Philip. Having not much left to be said, I breathed into the phone with my words directed at Sasha. "Danny was killed by Jon Snow and the dragon goes missing after flying off with her body."

The assistant nodded and gestured me in.

Once I reentered, Philip stood from his place and extended his hand. My motor functions had ceased to cooperate. I had time travelled back into the past, to the girl who didn't want to leave Philip's company.

Philip couldn't see my expressions. He couldn't read me, even if he wanted to. That thought gave me the courage to take his warm hand into mine.

"Did Marcy take you inside the freezer?" Was his first question upon taking my hand. I nodded before the realization slapped me. He cannot see my expressions either.

"Oh yes she did." 

I looked around the place, checking for photos of his with a family or a girlfriend. Married and committed men were the easiest way to break out of a crush. Sadly, Philip only had photos of John's kids; Violet and Hazel.

Gesturing to a seat, Philip sat at his. He intertwined his fingers upon which his chin rested. He was by now, well versed with the knowledge of who I was. I, on the other hand couldn't even manage to utter another word.

"Nervous were you.. during the interview?" He asked, leaning over the table.

I nodded again. Giving myself a mental slap, I responded in affirmation. As Philip waited for me to talk further, I settled into the comfortable hold of the chair before answering.

"She took me to the freezer and I thought I didn't make it. And then I was about to leave when she.." I didn't have to continue. Wide smile was drawn across Philip's face. It narrated his knowledge of her ways of working. "So she did this to everyone?"

He laughed before nodding and answering. "Only to her sous chefs.."

"But I have to do sauces!" I was still not a sous to be precise. 

He was quick to respond. "You will get there soon enough.."

What seemed like a great ice breaker ended up being just a conversation starter. Both of us were uncomfortable, looking around. Unaware about his state, I assumed it was a weird feeling of meeting an acquaintance after so long that he doesn't know how to react or talk to them.

But Philip wasn't like any of us. As I said before, he was the yardstick. He wasn't just good at all this. He was brilliant. But if Philip too was having issues in coming up with a topic, it only meant one thing.

Disaster.

Knowing there wasn't much to speak, that we ran out of mundane topics too, I was about to push the chair back when Philip spoke. "Are you staying at the inn?"

I nodded. 

He waited on me to answer and that's when I realized why I didn't always answer in words. Philip looked straight into everyone's eyes, even though he couldn't see. I generally forgot his impairment because my brain and eyes were used to looking staring into everyone's eyes. In a way, my sight refused to acknowledge the fact that he couldn't see me. He didn't know how I looked. 

Philip didn't have a blind man's tell. He never looked an inch away or up from the speaker's face. His stare looked as if he was trying to read everyone's soul. It surely made me forget my gestures were unviewable. I have to be more vocal.

E.n.u.n.c.i.a.t.e. my mind mocked.

"Yes I am.." I said. Another question popped up in my mind. "What about you.."

A quick swish of his hand into his background, he answered. "Just behind. Although mom and dad stay a bit far away.." clamping his hands together, he questioned. "You are coming to meet them tonight, right?"

That was out of the blue. I caught me off-guard. I didn't even know his parents were in California, let alone the fact that he invited me to meet them. Stumbling for words, I answered. "I don't.. Sasha wanted to meet.."

He nodded as if understanding what I wanted to say. "Yes she will be there too." He leaned over the table, a soft smile decorating his face and those soul searching eyes wandering over me.

I was confused. John said he was going to stay at his friends. He never told me about his parents being here. "Isn't John with his friends.."

Philip rose from his chair and walked around. The place from where my voice emanated was traced by him. He leaned back, partially sitting on the side of the table. "Let me tell you a secret.."

He bent forward slightly. It was enough for me to be transported back to the day I met him at the café. His musky cologne waft into my nose, my senses were heightened. I turned to him and there was a part of my mind which watched his plump lips as he spoke and wanted to know what it would feel like to kiss him.

We all have been there, haven't we? Nope.. Really!. Were you telling me it was only I, who felt like that? Strange!

Philip continued. "John's California friends are our folks." He smiled as if the world's biggest secret was uncovered by him and he was happy to be of service. "Don't tell him I told you.. but he likes to act all cool dude."

Yup. That I agree completely. John had this façade that unless he acted cool, people wouldn't chill with him. And by people he meant the new wave of student crowd at the café, all of whom idolized him.

Well, more like students who idolized his tattoos and the body be was bestowed.

I remembered the times when my own classmates used to loiter around the place just to catch a glimpse of him. Little did they knew that the hunk man was taken and not just by any woman but 'The Woman.' Sasha wasn't just a model and a influencer. She was also a down to earth human being who believed a lot in charity; the same place where she met her soulmate.

"So.. I am still waiting for your answer" were Philip's words to catch me out of my daydreaming again. Stuttering, I was processing what to say when he took the reins. "It's decided.. You are coming.."

/

A/N

Babies..

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