Please –
I promise I will do what I have to do,
I will do it anyway,
no matter how much I have to cry,
no matter how many times I can't see
my notes clearly from the tears,
no matter how much I hate everything,
no matter how exhausted I'll get –
But please, don't you expect me
to be alright, don't you expect me
to feel okay,
Please don't you expect me to eat enough and well,
and to sleep enough, and to have a rest,
And please don't you expect me to be happy,
Please don't,
because I promised myself I would do it,
but this is too much,
this would be too much to
accomplish at once
So I made my decision,
I did undertake all this weight
and have been doing it as I could,
But please,
Don't. Expect. Me. To. Be. Okay.
It's not the right time for that,
perhaps one day I'll have the chance
to feel good again,
perhaps there will be happier times,
because life's like this, after all –
endless circles, it's all just
endless cycles of emotions
But now I can't and don't want
to be alright, I don't have the time
and energy for that,
so please don't ask me that.
Please. Please don't.