"My husband and I have never considered divorce... murder sometimes, but never divorce."
-Joyce Brothers-

~~~~~

"What do you think has happened this time?"

"Drenched floor bathroom? Oh wait.. that's last week highlight. Expired milk on the fridge perhaps?"

"Nah, that's already happened a week after the marriage"

Hoseok, with a cup of coffee on his other hand, rubbed his chin as he deeply and seriously thought the answer of the question. Meanwhile, Jimin, the one who threw the question, couldn't help but to flinch every time he heard distance harsh scolding from the next room, Min Yoongi's office.

"How long has it been going on?"

Munching his sandwich slowly while seemingly counting something in his head, he shrugged it off. "It's barely reached the second month" he said.

"Not the marriage genius, the trainees.. how long has Yoongi been scolding them?"

"Aaaah, one hour forty eight minutes" Jimin said as he checked his watch. Hoseok heaved a deep sigh and finished his cup of coffee with a big gulp before bravely stepped into his boss' office, rescuing a bunch of pitiful puppies from the devil's spawn. Yet, when he saw the man's tired and depressed face, Hoseok definitely knew who was the one that need help.

Yoongi let Hoseok ushered the kids out of his office before he threw away his jacket to the corner of the room. Pulled his chair harshly, Yoongi sat and buried his tired face into his palm. Hoseok could only swallow all the saliva while waiting the time-bomb in front of him exploded without warning.

"Hoseok"

Hoseok gulped. "Y-yeah?"

"Tell me..Who the f*ck is annoying enough to care about how you.."

Hoseok licked his lower lips anxiously, anticipating anything that would come out next as Yoongi took a very deep breath as if he tried to not burst out a chain of cursing to his friend.

"About what?" Hoseok carefully asked.

"About how you set the bloody hell TOILET PAPER?!"

Not only Hoseok who was jumped out of his chair, Jimin who was just getting into the room almost dropped his phone when Yoongi yelled out the last two words. Anyone in that room could tell that the man was filled with raging anger from head to toe because of how red his face was.

Toilet paper, should we roll it over or roll it under? Well that's definitely one sacred thing that anyone should discuss about before they said "I do". Legend said that toilet paper case had ruined thousands marriage couples. But once again, shouldn't it be ok if couples just sat and talked it over? Nicely of course. Well, seeing how Yoongi reacted about this matter, it seemed that the spouse of him couldn't take it lightly.

"Hey, I know that we're inexperienced about all of these marriage things, but I guess Hoseok will agree with me if I say that both of you need quality times together"

Hoseok instantly nodded in agreement to Jimin's advice. "Listen, you guys just married a couple months ago but all the things we heard were arguing, fighting, and so on. Further more, you guys don't even sleep in the same room! I mean, what kind of marriage is that?!" He added frustratedly which just made Yoongi fueled even more.

"Don't talk as if you understand our circumstances Hoseok"

"Yeah, you're right. I don't know about what shit is happening with you guys. But one thing I'm sure enough is that both of you were fully enjoying the baby-making time that night."

Hit the spot man. That should hit the spot. Jimin mentally praised the upset Hoseok who was walking out the room.

"Look, we won't bother you about your household things, just please tone it down when you're in the office. People starts to complain about how harsh you're to everyone, okey boss?"

Yoongi brushed his neat hair lightly before he nodded towards his friend's advice.

"One more thing, don't tell her that I told you this, but Jiwoo said your wife is in the stage of pregnancy that makes her hard to even drink water. You know about this right?about her pregnancy sickness?"

"What?" Yoongi frowned. He tried to recall everything happened in the house but he couldn't remember seeing her abnormal eating habit. But then he realized, he's never seeing her eat at home. They never had dinner or breakfast together at home at all. These months he was totally occupied with the project that made him rarely saw her face. When was the last time I properly seeing her face? He thought. Without any second thought, he grabbed his jacket and car key before slammed the office door, leaving Jimin absurdly.
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.
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"Soomin?" Yoongi placed his car key on the table as he searched for his wife at their house. He was planning to check his wife at her office previously but her colleague said that she was called for sick since yesterday. Why didn't she say anything?! Yoongi thought.

There was no one answering his calls. He knocked her room and opened it slowly but she wasn't there. Then he heard a flushing sound from the toilet. "Soomin, are you in there?" He said as he knocked the door gently.

"Yoongi?"

There was a faint and weak voice of her from behind the door which made Yoongi panicked for a second. He stood still in front of the door till Soomin appeared with a pale and sweaty face. "Did you left something? Your phone?" She asked, tried to look strong enough to hide her weak condition but who did she try to fool? It's Yoongi anyway.

He gently grabbed her hand and guided her to the kitchen, letting her sit at the dinning table. "You want soup or porridge?" He questioned while checking the groceries in the fridge and he got a frowned as a response. Yoongi stared at her silently, scanned her tired face and slightly loosing-weight figure which made him conscious about the change of her body condition. He slowly scooted himself to her and squatted in front of her with his eyes still lingered deeply into hers.

"What is wrong with you?" Soomin asked and shifted on her chair awkwardly.

"I'm about to ask you that" he paused for a second. "What is wrong with us?"

"Everything. Everything about all of these situations is wrong" Soomin bluntly said as she waved her hands dramatically towards her surrounding. "It's a whole mess Yoongi and it won't get any better. I.. we're totally not ready for this marriage life. We're not ready to care about anything besides our own self. We're not ready for.. this"

"Hey you better stop right there" Seeing her nonchalantly pointed her belly while telling the last statement, Yoongi gasped and stared at her in disbelief. "Listen, I admit that it's kinda hard for me to adapt into this new life. Somehow the awkwardness between us is still lingered in every inch of this house and I should say that sometimes I just want to burry myself because of it. I guess it safe for me to say that it also goes to you, yeah?"

She sternly stared back at him. "I won't deny that"

"I.. well.. To think of how we're basically sticking into each other for years and how we both miraculously developed complicated affection towards each other after all those roller coasters of emotions and dramas, we need to admit that we've never been this close before. I mean, close as living side by side just the two of us in such a civilized way. Adding to that, I can easily count how many times we had a decent and peaceful talk since the first time you're able to say my name. It's when you're 3 years old right?"

"Two and a half according to my mom" she lazily replied.

"That's when you could pronounce Ugi instead of Yoongi"

"Can we just back to the topic?"

Yoongi gave a little smile and dropped himself on the floor, sitting crisscrossed comfortably. Sigh "Hey, how about we try to start this all over properly? I uh I totally respect your decision to have your own room from the time being, so how about we start to have at least breakfast and dinner together at home?" He raised his eyebrows as he still maintained his smile,waiting for her to say yes.

It took her a couple of minutes, leaving Yoongi hanging with the stupid expression stamped on his face, till Soomin defeatedly nodded while uttering a weak "Ok". Since she's kinda worn out with this awkward-weird-yet-relieving conversation, Soomin was gonna end this talk by leaving her chair. Yet before she could even move, Yoongi decided to prolong the talk by bringing himself closer to her.

"Hey there little peanut" he gently said as his eyes fixated on her belly. "Did you hear that? Please worry no more, we'll definitely try our best for not being a sucks couple" he continued while Soomin rolled her eyes to his choice of words. "We'll slowly learn and prepare.. to be the best parents for you".

Trying to hide her flustered and blushing face, Soomin could only drift her eyes away from Yoongi and pathetically fake a cough which made Yoongi chuckled secretly. "I'm sorry for being ignorant, I promise to be a better companion for you and your mom". Another fake cough was heard but Yoongi determined to burry his desire to tease the restless wife by keep talking to his little treasure.

"So for now, I would like also to make an agreement with you. Could you give your old man a hand for not pushing out all the yummy foods back to mama? If you don't like the food she gave you, just tell me what kind of junk food that you want, then I'll shove it into her mouth for you."

This time Soomin wasn't faking a cough, she was literally choked by the husband's words to the extent that she felt the needed to grab his no-longer neat hair till its completely detached from the scalp.

"Gah! why didn't I wrap that thing with condom that night" She frustratedly snapped as she pushed him away before stomped away from the kitchen, leaving the speechless Yoongi sprawled on the cold kitchen floor.

"Uh, so the thing that you regret from that night wasn't because you did it with me but because you let my bare willy say hi to your-"

"OH SHUT UP MIN YOONGI!!"

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A/N

Hi, I'm back

Lmaooo