Having to return to Portland came sooner than she'd have liked, but she couldn't complain either. She had held back on texting Nikhil till she was in town. She wanted to have the guts to tell him face to face, not hide behind a text message.

Tuesday, when she returned to work, the first thing she did was look at her schedule and email Julie about the next meeting with Nikhil. Due to the breaks, not a lot of work had gotten done - that is the excuse she gave Julie in wanting to set up a meeting with him.

Julie had replied roughly two hours later with a quick apology for not replying earlier as they were in a meeting. She asked if tomorrow they could meet for an hour, since he had meetings all day today and tomorrow, but with the hour gap he had during lunch, it could work if she came to the office and saved the time of him having to drive there and only give them half-hour to discuss things, which wouldn't get far.

Esha had answered, saying she wouldn't mind driving to his office.

Julie had replied, saying she'd put it on his schedule, and a quick note that since it was lunchtime, she wouldn't be joining them for the meeting. Esha, again, didn't mind that. It was probably for the better.

And so, the day had passed by in anticipation for her as she tried to focus on working, but also all the ways she could tell him what she needed to. At the end, the next day, when she met him, none of the scenarios that had played in her mind did justice.

Julie greeted her upon entering the office floor. She informed after the greetings, "He's in his office." walking beside Esha to lead her there. She opened the door without knocking, and apologized, "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were still..."

Julie never did have to knock before entering his office since she always knew if he was in a meeting or not. If Nikhil wanted to be left alone for a while, he'd simply call her office desk to make sure no one disturbed him.

Nikhil got up, away from the woman who was standing in front of him. "It's alright, Julie. Sonia was just leaving." It was his way of telling her to leave.

Sonia tried to hide her tears, but Esha spotted her red eyes. She offered Sonia a smile, not knowing who she was, and Sonia looked away before leaving the office.

Julie began to ask, "Is...?"

Nikhil nodded, "You can leave for lunch. It's fine."

Julie acknowledged and left the two in the office. For a second, Nikhil just looked at her face. He thought she looked refreshed, figuring that the Holidays must have been good for her. Nikhil waved at Esha to take a seat. He wanted to be professional but didn't have the heart to be blunt to her. So, he decided to go with small-talk, and at the same time pushing aside the conversation he had just had with Sonia, his ex-girlfriend. "Hey, how are you? I was a bit surprised to see you on the schedule today."

Esha took the seat across his desk, "Yeah, we have some things to discuss."

"On the project?" He asked, curious. "What about? It's too soon for..."

She quickly interjected, "I know. I didn't want to wait. Seeing the places, I had ideas in my mind already so I worked on it."

"Alright. Let's see them." He leaned forward to get the file she had placed on the edge of the desk in front of her.

Before he could lift it, however, she placed her hands on them with considerable strength so he couldn't move it even the slightest. His brows arched, questioning her actions. She asked, "What's the rush? Aren't you going to get lunch first?"

Still cautious of her, he retrieved his hand and got up. "Come, we can go to the office kitchen."

She teased arching a brow, "What, you don't trust me to be in here by myself?"

He shook his head, mentally responding to her. It was a regular office after all. What was she going to do? "Suit yourself then." He commented before leaving the office to go to the office kitchen, grab his lunch from the fridge and heat it up.

She sat back in the chair once alone in the room and exhaled. She wiped her hands on her skirt, finding herself surprised for she didn't normally get nervous. Okay, get it together girl. She scolded herself, shaking her head and sat up straighter again. Distraction - that's what she needed. Noticing a frame on the right side of the desk, she leaned forward and picked it up. one could say she was curious to see what he kept on his desk, but she told herself it was simply an activity to indulge herself in while she waited.

She didn't have any pre-expectations and smiled simply at the couple staring back at her with the happiest smiles she had known. She assumed they were his parents. She could definitely tell that he had his father's eyes - soft around the edges - and his mother's warm smile.

As much as she didn't want to, she couldn't help but feel a bit envious. Whenever she saw a married couple who had survived the relationship, she felt a hollow inside her chest. She missed what she didn't have growing up - ironic, she would tell herself, because how could she miss what she didn't have in the first place? Though the past few years of her life had turned around since Arjun came into her sister's life and her social circle had expanded, it didn't change how her life was before that.

Hearing the click behind her, she returned the frame to its place and turned around with a forced smile on her face. She realized in the moment that it would be harder now to say what she had came to say. She hadn't expected to be reminded of her own family - or lack thereof.

She saw he had two bowls. He placed one in front of her, "I don't know if you had lunch already, or if you like pulao, but..." He expressed while pulling out the chair next to her and sitting there, instead of going to his chair on the other side of the desk.

Sitting with a desk in between them just felt impersonal to him.

"You can cook?" She asked.

He spotted a pinch of surprise in her tone. "I live alone, Mishti. How else do you think I survive?"

She frowned at his words, but more specifically, a single word. She whispered, her voice barely heard, "I really wish you'd stop calling me that."

"What?" He questioned, not having caught her murmur.

She shook her head, picking up the spoon, "Nothing, just saying I like pulao." In reality, she was not a fan of peas. She would pick them out of dishes whenever possible in restaurants and at home... well, she barely ever cooked. So, there was that. Given he had thought of her and had brought her half of his lunch, she didn't want to dismiss the gesture.

He didn't believe her, but didn't push it either. Instead, he nodded towards the file, "Now can I see the sketches?"

"I don't have them."

His forehead pulled together, "I'm confused."

She said, "I have this policy," firmly holding the bowl in her hands as it laid on her lap.

"Okay?" His response was that as a question, unsure of where she was going with this.

"Five second rule. Regarding pretty much anything that can complicate my life, I follow it. It's like... if something isn't going to matter in five seconds, minutes, hours, days, and so on... I let it go. I don't spend more than those initial five seconds to think about it."

He nodded, understanding some of it, but still lost as to why she was telling him this. "And, does it work?"

"From what I feel, yes. I haven't regretted a decision I've made in the past. And in that hotel room in Vegas, when I realized... Anyway, I was going to let it go. Forget about it. Like, I didn't even say it out loud to actually let it settle in. I mean, you were just some guy. I didn't think I was ever going to see you again." She laughed without humor, "Obviously, I was wrong."

He hadn't thought they would talk about this. After his talk with his mother, he had decided he would give her space - which was way he had tried to stick to business topics when really, all he wanted to know was how her Holidays had been, what she had done, and the likes. He put his bowl aside on the desk to give her his proper attention. "Okay, all that is good, but what are you trying to say?"

She let out a sigh, at loss of words. Why couldn't she remember everything she had rehearsed before coming here? Brain can be so cruel at times.

She explained, "When I was home, Parth made me realize a few things."

He was surprised she talked about it to someone. "I thought you didn't want anyone to know."

"I didn't. I probably still don't. But that guy figured out half of it by himself. As soon as we'd met, he knew there was a guy problem, and with me, that is never the case so when he asked, I just had to tell him."

He turned the chair towards her, slightly hopeful given she was mentioning it all. "And what did he make you realize?"

"That the person I am... I don't live with regrets. And if I don't give this a chance, I may wonder every now and then in life. I don't want that. So... even if just so I don't have any regrets in the future, I'll try... if you're still willing after how I behaved before the breaks."

"So you're going with this just so you have a clear conscious?"

With his tone, she slightly flinched. She hadn't thought of it as that, but now... she could see how it could have been perceived as such. "No! Look, no. That's not what I meant at all. I'm not good at things like this, okay? I just meant..." She struggled a bit to express it in proper terms, "See, there are some things I am very particular about. I have a way of looking at it, and no matter what, I don't let anyone or anything change my mind, because for me, what's wrong is wrong."

He countered in a patient voice, "Life isn't black and white, Esha."

"I know! I know that. But like I told you, I don't like complications. I try to live life as black and white as possible."

Because then, there are less chances of me getting hurt, she thought but didn't add.

Exhaling, she continued, "If something bothers me, I let it go. If someone annoys me, I tell them off and cut them out of my life. I pull myself away from situations that is going to bring drama. I walk away from anything I feel would be toxic to my life and I don't let myself feel bad over it. It's second nature to me. I like to live a simple life. And with you... I tried to ignore it. It worked until I found out it was you. Then I tried to remove myself from the situation, but it didn't work because I still kept thinking about you. And I... it just feels right, okay? I don't know what else you want to hear. Isn't it enough that I'm willing to put in the effort?"

"You're right. It should be." He calmly answered after listening to her and not getting angry. He had been before, but he realized it wasn't easy for her like he was making it out to be. He had noticed how blunt she could be at times... and her current frustration at not knowing what to say, what the right thing to say was, told him she was out of her element and trying.

Somewhere internally, he did feel happy with her unintentional and indirect confession that even if she were home with her family, she was thinking about him. For now, that meant something to him. It was a beacon of hope and he was going to be damned if he wasn't going to cling on to it with everything.

For a second, she worried if his words were going to be followed by a 'but'. When they didn't, she felt a moment of peace hearing his words. They were short. To the point. But still, it made her peaceful.

Dubiously, he confirmed, "You're sure?"

She nodded at his question, wordlessly confirming she wasn't going to go back. After a few seconds, she looked up to gauge his reaction and then added, "But... can we keep it simple? Just date..."

He let out a small chuckle, which made her feel as if he was back to being himself. Carefree and not serious or angry. "That's going to be bit hard to do."

She let out a sigh, slumping back against the chair, "I know."

Still, he leaned forward and reached for her hand. Her gaze averted back to his and he promised, "We'll make it work."

She let herself be convinced. It was nothing but everything at the same time. The word he had used: we. She wouldn't make a big deal of it, but it made her feel as if she mattered and that he understood it wasn't easy for her. She felt a part of this thing between us - she wouldn't call it a relationship just yet.

"Can I ask a question?"

"You just did." She replied instantly, slowly slipping back in her comfort zone.

Choosing to not comment on that, he asked another, "That night at my place, there was something in your eyes when you told me to move away." He didn't say it, but she caught on. He was referring to the time in his apartment when she'd tried to leave and he had her against the door, grabbing her arm tightly.

He was worried her strong reaction could be because of an abusive relationship in the past. He didn't think he would be able to control his reaction if that were the case. He didn't want to think of her being in such a situation.

She picked up the spoon of the untouched food, and started twisting it around, "I told you, I'm particular about a few things. I don't let anyone treat me like that. It's just wrong."

She didn't tell him that at times, she had witnessed her father mistreating her mother when he got mad over something. She had somehow habituated to all the horrible things they would say to each other but he got violent rarely and those times, she pretended as if she was fine, but it did rattle her heart. Any child would be disturbed. Since the very first time she had seen him raise a hand at her mother, she had sworn to herself that she would never get herself in that situation. She taught herself to be smarter than that. Perhaps that is where some of her blunt words and actions stemmed from, but she didn't care to internalize it and think over it as long as it made her a stronger person.

He accepted that answer even though he felt there was slightly more to the story. It was wrong of him to get slightly physical and man-handle her. He reached for her hand again, "I am sorry about that, by the way. I didn't say it before and I should have. I don't usually... I know it's wrong."

She smiled, forgiving him, "Yeah, I believe you. You were just desperate."

He let out a playful scoff. "Yeah, whatever. It still convinced you to say yes."

She rolled her eyes, "Uh-uh. That didn't. Parth did."

He let go of her hand and picked up his food again, "Right. So, he's your best friend or something?"

Her shoulders shrugged, "I told you. He's more like my jeeju's annoying best friend. But, since we just know each other for so long..."

"So, he's your best friend." He concluded with a slight tease in his tone, making her frown, to which he had to smile. He didn't know the story behind her resistance in accepting it, but he was sure it was a fun one.

"No, don't ever tell him that. I won't hear the end of it."

He broke out into a laugh, "Sure. Anyway, I guess I should be thankful to him."

They ate in silence for the next few minutes. The conversation had been heavy and Esha truly felt the need to eat in the moment. They only had fifteen minutes remaining.

Nikhil asked. "By the way, when's our first date going to be?"

She ate a spoonful, thinking, and then answered, "How about tonight? You can come over. Reba is cooking, and she's really the best. You can meet her too."

"Reba, your roommate, right?"

"Yeah."

He considered it before answering, "Well, that's all good, but how about tomorrow? Tonight, we go out. Just the two of us."

She didn't have to think over it, "Sure, that's fine too." She didn't see why not. She had thought she'd be nervous, but she wasn't. They've had a few lunches and dinners before. What she didn't realize, however, was that this wasn't just a simple lunch or dinner. They were going out. She had agreed to starting off as dating. He planned on making it such.

"Really?"

"Yeah, why not?" She answered, confused at his surprised response.

"From what I know, girls aren't so casual on initial dates, especially on short notice."

She caught the innuendo he had suggested. She rolled her eyes, "I'm not other girls then." She added to make it clear she wasn't going to shave and all, and that nothing was happening between them at the end of the night, "It's fucking cold out. So, don't expect me to put on a dress and doll up for you. I'm wearing pants and sweater, no matter where we go."

He grinned while responding. He should have known she would catch his double meaning. "Sometimes, you are so cold; I have to remind myself what I liked about you in the first place."

"What did you like about me?"

He replied, not quite giving her an answer, "Ask me that again tonight."

"Hah, whatever. I'm not asking again. You can keep your answer." She wasn't going to play that game.

He stood up with his empty bowl, "Well then, you're missing out."

He tried to intrigue her, but she didn't answer, eating up the last left in her bowl. She didn't think it deemed an answer. Even though she had wondered, she was fine not knowing. Or so she 'believed' and told herself.

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