It was bright in the vast room. When he was small, before he'd accidentally stumbled through the veil, he'd spent hours here, climbing the pearlescent vines that were etched into the massive stone walls. He would perch on the ledges of the enormous open windows watching the pink and blue floating lights that were the sylphs and smiling at the dryads and the treemen watching over the forests as always. Now he spent his hours by the sea or in the trees, locked away in his room, anywhere that he could find solitude.

He regarded the two silver thrones, running his finger over the detailed metalwork on the place his mother used to sit. He used to giggle when she would tell him that one day they would commission a place for him, a throne worthy of her beautiful nightingale. He didn't feel very much like a nightingale anymore, he no longer had a reason to sing, his wings were broken.

His ears picked up on the nearly silent approach.

"You have always had quite the habit of disappearing, my princeling."

"It was never my intent to worry you, father." he turned and stepped from the dais.

"I understand." Sparkling silver eyes met a matching set. "I know the burden of the stone inside of your chest. I know."

Mitch's brows shot straight up at his father's words. Referencing a fae's loss, with the exception of conveying condolences, was considered the highest form of disrespect and astonishingly  churlish.

"You are my son." He took three steps across the white marbled floor towards him, features mirroring the despondency of his own. "The only pain more agonizing than losing my own heart is watching my son bear the weight of losing his. With every passing moment you drift further away, vitality fading. For all of my strength and valor, in this I am impotent, powerless.  I know it is not my place to ask, but I am all the same. Will you tell me who it is that has stolen your heart?"

Mitch looked away, for just one moment wishing for the freedom to forget his standing, to lay etiquette and duty aside and tell his father everything as he had when he was but a child.  But no. Spilled moments of candor would cause an endless amount of unrest. The veil would surely be closed. His frail connection to the man he loved would be lost forever. He needed it to remain open, he needed to feel like he was still out there, close, safe, loved. If the veil was closed he would fall into darkness, separated so finitely ... the tiny threads that held him together would snap and he would be lost.

"It was not stolen, it was given freely, gladly."

He turned away, moving towards the towering opening in the wall, drawn, as always, to the light from the many stars. He closed his eyes, a recalled memory nearly sending him to his knees.

"I love the stars."

"Our stars are different, and yet the same. Our constellations are different. Maybe our worlds exist in the same space, but different locations."

It was quiet for a few breaths, and Mitch wondered if he'd said something wrong.

"I hate it when you leave me, when you go back... to your world." Scott frowned, pulling him closer against him on the large blanket as if he was afraid he would disappear back into the veil at any moment.  "I wish you could stay. I feel like I'm always holding my breath, waiting for the next time I can see you again and just hoping you'll come back to me."

He turned those golden eyes up to him, flecks of pink and white swirling there for a few moments. He lifted, propping up on one hand while he ran the fingers of his other over his cheek.  "I'll always come back to you."

Finally he got a hint of a smile.

"I wish I could show you off, let the world know how special you are, how beautiful. I wish you could come with me to Paris or Greece or wherever so I could spoil you. I wish I could show you everything."

"I am sorry I have chained you down. Please don't deprive yourself of things you want or places you want to go because of me."  

"Hey, put the white rings away... " He kissed the tip of his nose, glad when the outer ring of white in his eyes slowly dissipated into gold. "You haven't chained me down. I love being with you no matter how different you are, or how complicated it is, or the things we can or can't do. I don't need all of those things, I don't need to go all of those places. I just wish I could give them to you, you deserve them."

Mitch smiled, and Scott kissed one dimple before meeting their lips, laying him back again as he did. Eventually they cuddled in silence, Mitch's head laying on his chest.

He smiled as he felt the hum start in that chest and then his love began to sing.

"and even though I know how very far apart we are.

It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star.

And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby

it helps to think we might be sleeping underneath the same big sky"

He looked up at him, knowing tears were filling his eyes but not caring. He'd never felt this way, never imagined he ever could. It's funny when you have a new emotion that you don't quite understand, but you know unequivocally exactly what it is.

"Somewhere out there

If love can see us through

then we'll be together

somewhere out there

out where dreams come true"

Their eyes met and that was the moment he felt it, his heart attaching to the man he loved. He felt the fear, the overwhelming anxiety that came with such a large, irreversible commitment, but also the chest bursting happiness, the mind bending warmth and safety of being there in his arms.

This was where he belonged, with this man, in his embrace and his heart. He couldn't begin to imagine anything more perfect as he pressed his body against him, snuggling as close as physically possible, face buried in the cashmere of his sweater.

"I love you, Scott."

He heard the small hitch in his breath.

"You... you've never said it. I thought you ...  Isn't that dangerous? Doesn't that mean-"

"It was already yours. I'm yours."

Scott's arms tightened their hold, squeezing him close to him as he kissed the top of his head.

"I love you too, Mitch. I'm yours for always."

___

"I am sorry father."

He took off through the window, running as fast as his legs could carry him. He slowed only when he was at the cliff overlooking the eastern ocean, a place he'd come to know extremely well.

He couldn't imagine an eternity of this, this pain, this neverending torment. He would live as long as he wanted, the choice to live or die his own if outside forces were not involved. He was immune to illness, old age.  His mother had fallen beneath the blade of an outlander, an underling who crossed their borders. It was an extremely rare occurrence, but of course these things do happen.

He'd more than once entertained the idea of throwing himself from this very cliff, purposely aiming for the rocks below instead of the glittering water. He'd imagined crossing into the Outerlayer, giving himself to the demons, the kludde,  amarok and death worms beyond to tear apart for sport. He needed to do something, anything to end the hollow inside of him. He would do anything to escape the painful truth that he could never move on, could never let go, would never stop missing every bit of him.

He touched his lips with his fingertips, remembering the feel of another's against them.

He walked to the very edge, tears falling over to add to the endless ocean below him.

He turned to glance back over his shoulder at the veil only a few feet away and then up to the stars again.

With a trembling voice he sang.

"Somewhere out there

beneath the pale moonlight

Someone's thinking of me..." 

He could barely get the rest of the words out, despair overtaking every particle inside of him. He could still hear Scott singing him this song whenever they knew they would have to be apart for more than a day or two. He prayed to the core of magic that Scott would be happy and that he himself would finally know peace as he forced out the last words.

"and loving me... " he closed his eyes and pictured his love's face as he leaned forward "tonight."