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A Form of Love

BEN HOBBLED OUT TO THE DEAD BODY WITH MR. ARNOLD. They wrapped the thief in a blue, plastic tarp and tossed him into the back of the truck before driving away. Ben hadn't mentioned where they planned on disposing of the body. 

I didn't ask. I didn't want to know. I tried not to think about the blood on his hands at our first meeting, clear evidence that I had always known what I was getting myself into with him. I focused on canning tomato sauce in the kitchen, blowing a strand of hair from my face as I struggled to tighten a stubborn lid. 

"How are you doing this morning?" Mr. Choi appeared at the screen door.

"Good," I clipped back with a brisk smile, waving him in. "Don't judge me. It's a mess in here. I'm trying to preserve these tomatoes. We have so many, it feels sacrilegious to let them go to waste."

"I hear you on that. My mother was always one for not letting things go to waste and I've carried on the tradition," Mr. Choi said as he perused my handiwork. "You've got a good thing going here though. You done this before?"

I shook my head. "Ben has a couple books on food preservation. A whole library about living off the grid, really. I've read most of it. Nothing much else to do with my days."

"Aren't you the sweetest Post-Apocalyptic June Cleaver that I've ever seen. Next thing you know, I'll be finding you vacuuming this place in kitten heels and pearls," he teased with a wink.

"My mother would be so proud."

Mr. Choi moved next to me and helped screw the lids to the glass jars. "Where is your mother, Annabeth? Do you have any family?"

"My mom died with the last wave of the fever last winter, the worst one. I was tested, but I was one of the immune population. But she wasn't. She hadn't been doing well since my grandmother passed away last year. I think she was too weak to fight by that point," I answered succinctly and coolly, as to avoid anymore questions on the matter. Mr. Choi got the hint.

"And your father?"

"He's out west somewhere in California. I haven't seen him since I was a kid. He's got a new family now, or did. I don't know what's happened to them during all this. He sent me a Christmas card and a check to help with text books for college right before everything happened."

"And now you just have Ben."

I nodded. "And he just has me. He's never mentioned his mother. His dad died in the last outbreak as well. All these supplies, all the education that Ben received about survival, that was from his dad. He was deep into Doom's Day prepping."

"He mentioned that. He talked so much about his father on the drive up, I didn't realize the man had passed."

"They were close. He took his death pretty hard."

"Understandably so." Mr. Choi knelt down to the empty cabinet where I was storing the jarred goods. "You've needed each other."

"He's the reason why I'm still alive."

The simple truth of the statement left me winded. Overwhelmed by the previous night, my thoughts had been foggy with doubt all morning. Ben had slept in, but found he could walk on his ankle when he woke up as long as he took it easy. He popped a couple Advil for good measure. We hadn't talked anymore about the thief, even though I could see the trail of blood staining the dirt road from the kitchen window.

Mr. Choi gave a faint nod as he rose from the floor and ran a hand over the arched back of the cat as the animal hopped up onto the counter. "Sometimes, I feel the same way about William Arnold. After Vietnam, we needed each other much like you two do now. It helped to have someone who understood."

I wet my lips and paused, glancing over at him. His tone was eerily similar to my mother's when she tried to make a point. 

"I need him. I always have, not just for how he protects and provides for me. I need his presence like oxygen. But I don't know if I love him. Not like you and Mr. Arnold love each other."

The confession left me dizzy. I heaved a breath. Mr. Choi gave me a sympathetic smile.

"Do you feel safe with him? That's what I'm trying to ask. You're a sweet girl. I never had children, but I have always been a more paternal person. And I want to make sure you're okay. Ben isn't a bad man, but times like these can change someone if they aren't careful. I don't know you very well, but I feel like I need to make sure you're taken care of."

Despite the nightmare I had witnessed at midnight, I couldn't say if I was scared of him. I wasn't. I'd always felt safe with Ben, physically at least. Morally, I was at sea.

"He is very good to me," I said, honestly. "Always has been."

"And you're good for him, from the looks of it." Mr. Choi nodded with a faint grin. "It sounds like what is between you two is a form of love. There isn't just one kind, you know. You have nothing to feel guilty about. Here, I'll help you finish up in here and then you can show me where this vegetable garden is in the park. We could use some of these tomatoes."

It was late afternoon when Mr. Arnold and Ben returned in the truck. There was a third person in the cab sitting between them. It was a emaciated girl, around eleven years old.

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