Sometimes in life, you realize that certain people, just a few, have the ability to unsettle you in the most uncontrollable way. Their presence penetrates your senses and dislocates you in ways that are hard to put into words.

Of course, you can ignore it. You can try to pit your mind against your body (good luck with that). You can come up with a thousand reasons why that person shouldn't affect you, stir up you, shake to your core. You can analyze, interpret, control, and discipline yourself.

But whatever you do, nothing will change the truth. It defies you, the other person, the universe, and any reasoning ability you think you have. It's just like that. Whether you like it or not. Just like that. And don't fool yourself into thinking you need time to process it. No. Another trap. There isn't enough time in life to bring you to a clear understanding of it. That's why the sooner you surrender, the better your chances of making sense of it all, and maybe escape or not, from that.

When I kissed Heather, in that star embrace scene that felt like it had escaped from a dream, I knew my arguments, reasoning, and racing mind were losing the battle today. The war was over. Heather had razed with everything. And the moment that certainty surfaced, a wave of relief followed.

I pulled away, breaking the kiss as if my head needed a pause to process the shift, to acknowledge the change of mindset only I was aware had happened. Heather was left mid-kiss, her eyes opening a second later than mine, her eyebrows slightly frowning.

"What are you doing?" She said.

That mix of annoyance and urgency in her tone made me throw myself at her again. She clasped her hand around my neck, ensuring I wasn't going anywhere, and her fingers slid through my hair.

She had this raw power in the way she kissed. A touch of roughness in all her movements and gestures, in her hands pressing my body, in her way of taking me whole.

We were lying on the seats, now flatly adjusted, both trying to lean into each other. It wasn't very practical, to be honest, because there was a gap between us. One of us would have to move to the other seat, sooner or later.

However, when I pushed her to move myself on top of her, she thrust me back with a swift, almost painful move that startled me. Whoa. Okay. There was no way I was going to lead the way here. Message received. She then understood what I was trying to do, and moved to my seat, letting her weight fall fully on top of me.

There she was. So close. My heart bolted. I didn't even know where to put my hands first. Somehow, they found her hips as an anchor point, steadying her while she leaned in and kissed my neck.

Goosebumps. An entire pack of them.

"I need to do this for a long time." She whispered.

I needed a moment. A breath. "I won't stop you."

My body was so reactive that a brush of shame assaulted me. But it didn't linger, because as soon as I slid my hands under Heather's turquoise blouse, the heat of her skin told me she was feeling the same. How could our bodies need so much to consume each other in that shameless, direct, and open way?

I caressed her back, her hips, her thighs, and watched excitedly how each touch made Heather flinched.

She pulled away for a moment and clenching my shirt said. "I need you to get rid of this."

"Same to you." I said with the same urgency, which made her smile.

Her turquoise blouse was left crumpled in less than a second and she paused to see my reaction. She was way beyond any idea I could have had about her body. The millions of tiny lights from the air plant danced on her skin, her breasts, her hair, and that confident smile that drove me crazy. Who could she be so confident in that moment? I loved that.

But then, when I looked down at her stomach, something caught my attention. At the height of her right ribs, there was a shiny metal plate implanted like some kind of prosthesis. I stared at it, surprised, until she kindly took my chin to redirect my eyes to her.

"Get rid of this." She repeated, giving me a soft kiss.

She helped pull my shirt up and ended up as crumpled as her blouse, thrown to the other seat. However, unlike her, I couldn't keep my confidence. I had many scars. One big one under my belly, another on my left ribs, and tiny ones all over my breasts from that day when that damn kid, Korrin, challenged me to carry thorny herbs tied to my body to see who could hold it better. The wounds got infected, and the scars never left me.

I gazed down at my body, ashamed. I never took enough care of it. Most of my life I saw it just as an instrument, its appearance didn't matter to anyone... until now.

Heather caressed my breasts softly, passing the tips of her fingers over the scars, not in a sexual way, more like she was just observing like she wanted to decode where they came from. But she didn't ask. Not a word.

"I hope you don't mind." I said.

It was a weird thing to say, I know. But her silence unsettled me, and I was feeling a bit uncomfortable. Her perfect body over my mistreated, scarred, outsider skin.

"Mind?" She locked eyes with me, as if breaking the spell my scars had wrapped her in.

"I mean... this is not... like... well... My ski—"

She didn't let me finish. "You are gorgeous." There wasn't a single trace of forced politeness, compassion, or obligation. To her, it seemed to be the clearest, most undeniable truth.

I leaned toward her, sat up, took her head in my hands, and kissed her fiercely. My heart thundered like an electric storm raging inside me. I could feel myself losing control, my grip and touch growing more intense. But she played with my impatience, stopping me every time I rushed too much. And from time to time, there was that cute smile, flickering in her lips, as if she was having real fun.

Now I was starting to realize just how much we both needed this, and how hard the waiting had been. Before I could retrace our steps, both our pants were gone, and Heather wasted no time intertwining our legs, pulling me completely down into the seat. No escape. Not that I cared, really.

A strong ache grew between my legs. God. This was becoming unbearable. I didn't know about her, but it had been embarrassingly long since I'd been in a situation like this. My body had been in survival mode for so long, and now it felt completely stirred up. My emotions spilled out like a ragged volcano suddenly erupting, and all I could do was try to hold back all reactions and yearnings that felt untamed.

"Heather." All I managed to say, but she didn't need more information and slid her hand to my thighs.

More kissing.

"I've been wanting to do this for a long time." She said as if that was a relief to her.

Her hands reached my center, parting my legs open, caressing the core with soft, undulating movements. Those movements. God. My breath grew shallow. Sparks of vibrating thunder surged from there to my limbs like an electric shock. The best wildest sensation ever. I wanted to tell her I didn't want her to stop, that I loved her movements, that I craved every inch of her stunning, raw skin on me. But somehow, I couldn't get the words out. Damn it. Maybe it was a mix of shyness or being overwhelmed by the situation, who knows?

For a moment, I was scared that might bother her or make her feel insecure, but none of that happened. She was so good at reading me and very vocal. She wanted me to know everything she felt and thought: Your body is wild, I love this, your lips are incredible, I can't get enough...

It actually made me feel better seeing how comfortable she was, how little she cared about my missing words. But it also got me thinking: how could she be so open in this vulnerable moment and so reserved in every other part of her life?

Without a word, she slid her fingers inside, pressing her body against mine, intensifying the already overwhelming eruption my body was going through.

At some point, I managed to get two words out. "I can't..."

Heather smiled, kissed my neck, kissed my cheek, kissed my mouth, and then said. "Hold it."

She pulled her fingers out and moved down my body, leaving an array of kisses in her pass; to my breasts, to the scar in my stomach, to my tights...

When her lips stroked my center, a convulsion of pleasure shook me and intensified more and more with her following killing movements.

"I can't" I repeated, but my voice came ragged, which shouldn't have surprised me.

Heather's tongue lingered there a moment, ignoring my plea. Then, with perfect timing moved away and slid her fingers inside. Ecstasy. Contraction took my body as she clung to me. Pleasure waded in every inch of my being as I closed my eyes and let the sensation take me whole. How distant that sensation had been in my memory, barely a ghost.

When my body began to relax, Heather wrapped her arms around me and I let my head fall into her chest. I could hear and feel her accelerated breath and her hyperactive heart. How crazy can being desired make you feel? I caressed her soft, wavy strands and let the warmth of her body wrap around me for a moment before taking action again. Because this wasn't over. Not at all. Maybe it had been a long time since I was with a woman, I'll admit it, I was starting to forget how it felt. But none of that faded the insane pull I felt toward her in that moment.

She was now unarmed, at the edge of the fall, with a responsive body that could take it all without waiting for her call. And I was the one in charge of everything. How good it felt to be in control. I wanted her even more than before.

I raised my head from her chest and slowly moved to top her. She placed her hands on my shoulders and stopped me in my tracks.

"Hey." She said. "You don't have to do it just because I did."

I gently pulled her hands down before kissing her again.

"Don't you dare slow me down now." I said.

Heather smiled as she wrapped her legs around me. I appreciated her saying that. She was brutal and all that, but there was always that sharp eye paying attention to me, never losing track of the delicate conditions of that fusion we had fallen into. We both knew how much we wanted this to happen, it was pretty obvious, but we also understood that every touch, every kiss, every spark, could stir up entirely different meanings and reactions to each of us. We hadn't walked the same paths in life, and we were still discovering each other in every new context.

I kissed her breasts, and a moan escaped her lips. That was all I needed. I kept going, and more moans followed. I loved the way she expressed herself, so unashamed, so clear, so direct, letting everything she felt pour out of her body. My hands traced her curves until I reached her center, and I couldn't wait a second to graze it. Circles in one direction, then in another. Her body tightened, then relaxed, only to tighten again.

"Don't stop," she said. Not that I was planning to, ha.

I kept moving my fingers, slowly pulling them inside her. Heather flinched. Small but rhythmic contractions told me I was doing it just right. Her cheeks flushed, and she kept her arms wrapped around me, as if wanting to stay in constant contact. She looked gorgeous in that state. I wasn't going to be satisfied until I saw how far I could take her.

Holding a hand to hers, I moved down to find the source of everything I had been desiring that night, her ache, her torture. There was no way I wouldn't get to the end of it. Her warning earlier now felt even more absurd than before. I needed to do it. No doubt about it. My lips and tongue slid there, shifting in movement and pressure, as I easily noticed what she liked most. She was easy to read, too. When I felt the moment, I slid my finger in with the last brush. That was it. Her muscles contracted, taking her body with them. She closed her eyes and let it all take her.

We remained silent for a moment, both of us just catching our breath and relaxing our bodies. I moved to her side and raised an arm to cup her in. She swiftly slid under it, resting her head on my chest.

"I had an intuition about this." She said. "But I could have never guessed it would be this good. It's unreal."

"I agree."

My hand moved over her stomach, stroking her skin in abstract patterns until, unintentionally, my fingers brushed against the metal implant on her ribs. I glanced briefly at it. I had already forgotten about it. Instinctively, I pulled my hand away. Not that I cared, but implants were still something that unsettled me, even though many wore them with the same casualness as a tattoo.

"It's okay, you can touch it." She said.

"Oh, okay..." I kept brushing her skin, now moving more freely over the implant. "Can I ask what it's for?"

"It's a good question." She said.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I've had it as long as I can remember. They told me I fell from a playground when I was at the sanctuary and lost consciousness. It's some kind of rib welder."

"Really?" I said, glancing at it again. "On The Other Side, if you fell from a tree, or a rock, and broke a bone, we just immobilized it with a piece of wood and a couple of ropes. Then we hoped the body would do its job right..."

"Interesting. Here, we don't rely on hope," she said. "I can't even wrap my head around how much uncertainty you must have lived with on The Other Side."

"Everything was uncertain." I said.

"Sounds exhausting."

"It can be... but at the same time, you learn that some things aren't under your control, and you just have to let them go."

Heather paused, mulling it over. "I haven't thought about it like that"

"It's kind of relieving," I said. "Not having data to check, no predictions to control every tiny thing, not being the ultimate responsible for all that happens..."

"Very relieving, yes."

After a while, we resumed our trip through the night sky, circling the city and watching the lights merge into a distant glow, while we stayed surrounded by a thick dark. When we were alone, it felt like we knew each other so well. But that night, somehow, even though everything had gone amazing, I couldn't shake the feeling that there was still so much more I didn't understand about her. Maybe it was that unexpected implant on her ribs or her past as a sanctuary kid that made the click happen.

Heather let Emma hover over the mountain camps, where we had an incredible view of Nexus Court, a strange yet beautiful precinct, and the political heart of the city where every major decision was made.

"I'd like to get to know you better." I said, breaking the quiet.

She blinked, surprised. "Oh...What do you wanna know?"

"Pretty much everything but... let's start easy, what's your favorite food?"

Heather raised an eyebrow, confused. "That's the first thing you wanna know?"

"Food says a lot about a person." I said.

She laughed. "Alright. I'm a sucker for spicy food. Like really spicy."

"Don't tell me you're the kind of person who puts hot sauce on everything..."

"Does that shock you?"

"Not at all," I said with a smirk. "But I'm making a mental note not to let you cook for me."

She burst out laughing. "Your loss, then. I'm a great cook."

I raised an eyebrow. "Sure you are. But for now, I'm sticking to the service area at Narval House."

Heather chuckled. "Alright, alright. Your turn. What's your favorite?"

"Take a wild guess." I said.

"Hmm... I'm thinking something sweet. You don't give off salty vibes."

I frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you've got a sweet spirit." She leaned in and kissed me on the cheek, then smirked. "I'm gonna take a stab in the dark. Cake? Ice cream?"

"Way off. Remember where I come from? Cakes and ice cream are like myths there." I said. 

"Oh, right." She scrunched her nose. "Okay... something that grows wild... but sweet?"

"Now you're getting warmer."

"Ugh, this is hard. I don't even know what grows in the wild anymore." She frowned, then perked up. "Watermelon?"

"Close, but no."

"Alright, what is it?" She let out a sigh, exasperated. I could tell how much she hated losing.

"Pink grapes from the Oakvale woods." I said.

"Pink grapes?" She said it as if the words were completely foreign. "Are they sweet?"

"Super sweet, unless drones dump Raymn fumes on them. Then they just taste like dirt."

"Wow. Never tried those. Here, we only get what the system approves..." She shrugged. 

"And on The Other Side, you only get what we can find," I said with another shrug. "Which isn't much."

"I'm sorry about that." She said.

"It's okay," I said. "I've got a new favorite now. A favorite from this side of the world, system-approved and all."

"Really?" Her eyebrows lifted. "I think I can guess this one."

"Go for it."

"I'm pretty sure it has to involve chocolate."

My eyes widened in surprise. "You're good!"

She laughed. "Every Outsider loses their minds over chocolate. It's a classic."

"Great, now I feel so ordinary."

She chuckled. "Don't be. It just proves you're human. Chocolate obsession is universal."

"Fair enough."

"Okay, I'll go further, it's gotta be some type of chocolate shake, right?"

"Nope." I said, shaking my head.

"Ugh, I give up."

"Triple-layer chocolate cake." I said, satisfied.

She frowned as if that was an alien dessert. "What? Is that even a thing?"

"It's very much a thing. A delicious thing. I feel bad for you that you've never tasted it." I said, smirking.

"That sounds way too sweet, even for your sweet soul." 

"Maybe we can find a place in the city to have some," I suggested. "Might change your mind."

Her grin turned sly. "Are you asking me out on a date?"

"Only if we don't have to sneak out in the middle of the night, so nobody sees us."

She paused. Her smile faded. Damn it. I meant that as a joke, but there was a layer of truth behind it.

"We have different ranks, Grace." She said. "You know that." Her tone was serious.

"I do. Yes. And?"

"I don't want any trouble. Not for you, not for me, that's why I keep it discreet." She said.

"Oh, I see..." I tilted my head. "For someone who doesn't want trouble sneaking me into the leads' pool, letting me crash in your room, and now bringing me here... doesn't seem like the wisest choice, does it?"

Okay, that came out with a bit too much irony, but I couldn't help myself. That was the plain truth. I loved being with her, but it seemed so full of contradictions.

"Maybe I'm not being very wise lately and I'm sorry." She said. "But It would be unfair If I let you believe this could be a simple."

"I'm very aware of the situation. All I'm asking is for you to stop pretending I don't even exist when we're in public."

Heather remained silent for a moment and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry for that. It's just..."

She bit her tongue and trailed off.

"Just?" I would pull those words out no matter what.

"We are different Grace. You are this straightforward, impulsive, and raw, honest person, but I'm not like this."

"I know that, I don't want you to be different."

"Then assume I need time until I can handle this the way it makes sense for me. That's all I can offer."

"Okay," I said, nodding. "I can do that. But maybe make me feel a little less like a ghost the next time we're together in public?"

Heather smiled. "Deal."

Once we decided it was time to head back to civilization, Heather drove extremely slowly, as if she wanted to extend the time we had together for as long as possible. I didn't mind. Maybe it was her way of showing she cared more than her words let on, or maybe I was just imagining what I wanted to make myself feel better. I'd figure it out with time, I guess.

However, as we descended further, a loud noise shattered the peace.

The border alarm was blaring.