His cool eyes gaze down at my bare exposed body, his all too familiar foul stench surrounds my nose as he leans in closer. I'm tied to the bed at the wrists and ankles so I'm unable to move but I try to get away before he takes advantage of me. His tongue grazes my neck running from my collar bone up to my jaw then behind my ear. My skin shivers to his touch. No, no not again.

I try again pulling at the rope hoping that it'll come loose. My breathing has become raged as he lightly drags a long boney finger across my waist over the navel. The walls are closing in, I can't breathe, someone help me. Get me out, get me out. Elyse help me, you knew what was going to happen. Why did you let him do this. My cursed legs try to close as he comes near my hips but they are tied too far apart leaving them open.

"My darling Amelia. I am going to take pleasure in making you mine once again." He says with a wide grin then he leans back and starts undoing the buttons of his pants.

I look up, not wanting to see him naked but there's a mirrored ceiling above me and I see my body tied up, exposed with him over me. It's not me, I don't look like myself, I look like Amelia. Sebastian's mother. Magic didn't change me, I don't feel it. I am her.

No... I writhe against the ropes. My wrists protest as the material digs in until they bleed. Please! I cry out straining to break free. I have to get out, to break free because I can't let this happen again. Help me! Someone please! Divine help me... I should have cried out before. I should have fought back.

He laughs at my failed effort, at my pain then leans back down holding me at my waist gripping tightly. "You are mine!"

I scrunch my eyes shut as the tears flow down my cheeks. I couldn't fight him off... Can't do it now. I'm weak, I'm nothing. The darkness becomes me, surrounding every bit of light that was in the room. Devouring it with every heaving breath I take until I am no more, a part of that darkness. A shadow.

"Cam!"

He used me and will continue to use me. He took my innocence, ripped it away from me, made him his thing. A puppet. Forever his. He is still out there and will find me. He's going to find me, he's going to find me.

"Cam! Wake up!"

"Good Heavens!"

I whimper, keeping my eyes closed. "Please stop. Please." Leave me alone, leave me alone. Stop touching me...

There are strong hands on my shoulders and they shake me too roughly. "Cam it's me." He says gruffly.

The words are choked off in my throat. I'm drowning but he speaks again. His tender words pull me back up to the surface.

"You had a nightmare. You are in the castle, you're safe... Open your eyes and look at me." He tells me this time calmly. That voice is younger, gentler. Nothing like Hearthgrim's.

Another sob escapes me as he holds me, one hand is placed on the side of my head. Everything is still dark. Where am I? I open my eyes seeing the King and his housekeeper staring back. A candle from the hallway and the one Maude holds are the only sources of light in the room. The shadows seep away back to the void.

Sebastian sits at the side of the bed next to me while Maude stands at the foot. Hearthgrim is nowhere to be seen. I'm under my covers and my feet and wrists aren't tied down. A dream? A dream...

"It's okay Cam. You're okay." Seb tells me while petting my hair. My eyes don't fall to him, instead they stay on the door.

Maude comes to the other side holding up her arm to my forehead. "Poor thing, you have a fever and are covered in sweat." She says, pulling her hand away and grabs some fabric of my nightgown. It clings to my body as she peels a piece away.

"What... what happened? Why are you here?"

"You were wailing for a while, I could hear you from my room." Maude tells me. Her gaze lingers on me for a moment with her brows furrowed.

Sebastian shifts away and coughs. "Maude and I came to check what was wrong. We tried to rouse you but you wouldn't wake until now."

"Oh." I wrap my arms around myself after sitting up and looking around the room finally. That dream was so real, more like reliving a memory. My body begins to shake uncontrollably and more tears start to fall. "Sorry for waking you Maude." It must be late since it is still dark out.

"It's all right dear. I can draw you up a hot bath and I'll go make a warm glass of goat's milk and bring you a new nightgown. And some fresh linens." She says with a tight smile.

"You don't have to do that Maude, I can take care of her." Seb says standing up.

"Your Highness, I don't think you should,"

"I will do it Maude." Seb says sharply, cutting the old woman off. "I will be up for a while anyway, go rest."

Me and Maude look at Sebastian. She pulls her lips into a thin line as he gives her a look but she bows her head. "You know where everything is?" He nods and she sighs. "Call if you need anything then."

When she leaves Sebastian turns to me. "We will change your sheets first and give you a bath. Then head down to the kitchen, okay?"

I nod and crawl out of bed still holding my arms to my chest. My skin feels sticky and the now damp fabric clings to my body. I really do need to wash up. I watch Sebastian as he pulls the sheets off my bed, there's a spot right in the middle where I laid that's  wet. I look behind me to the door expecting Hearthgrim to be there but there's no one. It really felt like he was here...

"Cam, can you grab fresh linen from the closet please?" His voice is gentle, soothing...

I turn to see where he's pointing and step over to the closet. I grab a fitted sheet and blanket and carry them over to the bed. He takes an end of the fitted sheet and pulls it to a corner while I do the other side then he lifts the blanket on top. "There." He says wiping his hands together with a small smile.

I look down at my gown then to the pile of sheets. I made such a mess... I'll clean those linens myself in the morning. I feel bad for waking Maude, I hope she isn't mad.

"Come, let's get you washed up now." He holds out a hand and I stare at it for a moment.

I know he isn't going to hurt me but there's still a feeling nagging at the back of my mind. My gaze falls to the doorway behind him; I have to tell Seb what I saw earlier yesterday. His mom knew Hearthgrim, he made me look like her, for what purpose... Biting my lip, I step over to him. I'm safe from those men, Hearthgrim or Drakon can't reach me here as long as Sebastian is here.

Instead of grabbing his hand, I follow Seb to the adjoining bathing room and watch him again as he draws the bath. He puts lavender soap in to make large bubbles over the water. Once it's done filling, he asks me if I need any help or if I want him to stay in my room.

"No." I say quickly turning to the sink and I see myself in the mirror hanging on the wall. "I can do it alone." I murmur. That's why Maude was looking at me oddly. She normally sees me with blond hair and brown eyes. My raven hair and blue eyes are showing but something is different now. The white streak is gone. When did that happen?

Seb nods looking down, his reflection at the doorway of the bathing room. "Okay, I'll wait outside. Fresh towels and night gowns should be in that cabinet and don't worry about what Maude saw. I'll give her an explanation."

"Thank you." I knew this already but my head feels like it is shut off right now. What will he tell Maude to explain how my appearance changed drastically?

He smiles weakly and steps out of the room. I wait until I hear the door close then I undress and drop in to the hot water. This time it is too hot but I don't mind it, it feels good. Did he mean to make it this hot? I cup my hands together to wash my face and hair and arms, I wish I could wash it all away. All the bad memories from my past, all the invisible scars. All the people that used me to have never existed in my life. The nice thing about baths is that you can't tell if there are tears or just water running down your face. I sink down until I am fully under the water and sit for a moment.

Now that I am clean, I feel a little better. I dry myself off and put on a new night gown then walk over to the door. Usually my nightmares aren't that bad, never as real as the one like tonight... Should I tell him that Hearthgrim knew his mother? Maybe he can make sense of it. What am I thinking? Of course I should tell him. I wonder what Sebastian is doing, did he sit by the door the whole time?

I open it and he isn't in the room so I step out of the doorway but I see him down the corridor walking back with a tray in his hands. Only a single cup and a kettle sit on top of the tray.

"What's this?"

"Thought I would make this to save us the trouble of going down to the kitchen. You can drink it in bed." He tells me and a corner of his lips turns up.

Oh. Well that's nice of him, I've never eaten in bed but the thought of doing it now sounds delightful.

Sebastian let's me crawl into bed first then he sets the tray on the side table and moves a small wooden chair up to the edge of the bed.

"I hope you like this, it's a recipe I made up after my mom passed. Maude helped me perfect it." He says pouring the drink into the cup. "Steamed goat milk with cocoa, nutmeg, and a hint of peppermint."

I don't know any of those ingredients but if Seb likes it then I'm sure I'll enjoy it too. He passes me the cup and I blow on it before I take a sip. It's sweet but cool and thick at the same time reminding me of a melted candy I had years ago.

It's too bad that it's hot still. I want to drink more. "It's delicious." I say after taking another mouthful.

He grins. "Glad you like it. I call it Hot Chocolate. I made it to calm me on even my roughest nights, the nightmares came worse after my father died. I know they are coming for me, that's why lately I have been staying awake... To save me from the nightmares and to protect myself if they ever do come."

I gulp down on the hot liquid and our eyes meet but he continues, looking away first. "I remember how they both died too, my mother not so much because I was young. She had collapsed one day while tending to her gardens and never woke, I was 8 or 9. Years later my father was killed in his sleep late in the night. I remember hearing the guards rushing to his room so I followed, they did not notice me until after I saw him sprawled across his bed. There was so much blood." When he places the kettle on the tray he looks to me leaning back with his arms crossed. "I find that talking to someone helps ease the mind, it doesn't completely heal the inner wounds but it does help."

That may have worked for him but if I speak it aloud today it will make it all the more real. I break away from his gaze not wanting to delve into what I dreamt about. He can't know, if he did he would disown me. Throw me out to the streets back to the cathouse where I belong. "This pain is mine to carry." I tell him while looking out the window not wanting to talk.

He breathes out quietly. "You don't have to be alone in this. I would be lying if I said I have not grown fond of you over these last couple of weeks. I think I can say we have gotten to know each other pretty well. Wouldn't you agree? What you have told me about yourself so far has not changed the way I feel about you."

How he feels about me? It's hard for me to admit that I feel the same way but I think I do. The tip of my finger encircles the rim of my cup and I shake my head. No, he will feel differently if he knew this. The tears that roll down my cheeks fall onto the sheets below.

"Cam." He says softly. "Look at me." A hand moves to mine but I pull it away. There's a moment of silence as he collects himself. "You may not want to talk about it tonight or tomorrow or even a week from now but in my experience, talking to someone about it sooner rather than later helps."

"Please. Trust that you can confide in me and that I won't judge you... and know that I am here for you." He shifts in his chair, the wood creaks under the stress. "Does this have anything to do with the two years that weren't written in your documents?"

I shake my head holding back a sob and look down, not wanting to meet his eyes. "Yes you would. Just like you do with the women at the Lucky Star."

"Oh." He turns away with his mouth parted open. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to,"

"Stop." I say looking at him with burning eyes. "I know how you feel about their lifestyle. If you knew what happened to me..." You would kick me out, you wouldn't be fond of me anymore. End of our friendship.

For once he is at a loss for words and looks away first rubbing his lips. We both sit silently as I finish the rest of my now cold drink. I set it down on the tray then pull the blanket up to my chest.

Sebastian leans forward holding his hands together. "I'm sorry Cam, for making you feel like you can't open up with me. I know it must be difficult. Whatever it is that haunts you, just know that I won't hold it against you in anyway. I want to help you heal from the past. I want to help you, like you helped me... Pull you from the ledge so to speak."

Pull me from the ledge... Everything he has done has helped me greatly but talking to him about this won't do any good. It won't reverse what already happened. Won't erase it. Why does he need to pester on about this? I sit back in my bed thanking him for his help. But I don't want to talk about it anymore...

With a sigh he stands up moving the chair back to the wall then turns to me. "Get dressed little bird. I want you to come with me."

"I want to be alone." I tell him flatly rolling onto my side so that I'm facing away from him.

"Nope, I can't do that. Get up." He says and I hear him walking around my bed to the other side so he's looking at me.

After a moment of him staring me down, I slip on my shoes with a grumble and wrap a blanket around myself then follow Sebastian through the halls down to the stables. The warm night air fills my chest relieving some of the weight that was pushing down on it. The sky is still dark but to the east there is a lighter blue shining. I don't know why I came with him but I knew I would be laying awake in my bed crying. He probably knew that too. At least now that I'm outside I can take my mind off of my dream. Even if it is for a little while.

As we walk through the corridors Sebastian tells me that he was on his way to the stables when he heard my cries so he came to check on me. How many people heard me crying if Maude was able to hear it? Did the guards or other servants that shared the walls of our adjoining rooms hear me and not come to help?

He clicks his tongue walking into one of the stables, disappearing in the darkness. More than one footstep sound as Sebastian walks out with his griffin. The same one from the one I saw on the wall. Is that where we are going?

"Allow me to properly introduce you two. This is Neo." He says rubbing his hand underneath the creature's large beak.

It's dark yellow eyes watch me and it takes a step forward. "Hello Neo." I smile holding out my hand. After a sniff from the griffin, I pet it between its eyes. The soft feathers fluff up under my hand.

Sebastian chuckles. "He loves being pet there."

Neo pulls its head back to look at Sebastian as he grabs a handful of grain and feeds it to him.

What an amazing creature. Being this close, Neo is much larger than I remember. It's golden wings, even though they are tucked in, I can tell they span longer than its body. I hope we get to ride. To finally feel the wind on my own face as we soar through the sky.

"Considering you have been a bird, riding Neo should be no problem to you." Sebastian says with a grin.

I shake my head quickly side to side. "No, not at all. Are we going to fly?"

Neo let's Sebastian climb on first then he reaches his hand down to help me up. I sit behind him trying to find a comfortable spot but he whistles sharply before I can and Neo jumps up taking off into the sky.

I yelp at the sudden jolt and grab at Sebastian's sides so I don't fall off. He laughs heartily and I do the same feeling the joy bubble up in my chest. I feel light and free with him and Neo. The view up here is amazing too, I've never flown this high. Faint candlelight from the street lamps glitter the dark city below. We go higher and I look up to see white fluffy clouds floating, hanging against the dark blue. I lift my hand up almost touching the cloud. Cold air nips at my hand so I tuck it underneath my blanket and look out in front of us. At the edge of the land, where it meets the sky, it's bright yellow with a splash of orange and red. The sun is almost coming up bringing in the new day.

Neo dips his head down gliding towards the wall and I wrap my arms around Sebastian's waist without thought. The air rushes past us blowing my wet hair behind me. I close my eyes resting my head on his steady back. Wind blows around my body so I grip the blanket tighter over me so I don't lose it as it billows. It doesn't bother me though, the way the part moon shines and the colours of the sky from the rising sunlight dances across the tops of the trees. It's all beautiful. Reminding me where I am, what I've been through. How I survived. Thank you Seb, I needed this... An easy, steady breath leaves my chest as I lean my head back letting the wind surround me, feeling lighter than ever before.

"We have watched a sunset together, now we watch a sunrise." Sebastian says lowering us to the walkway of the wall.

"Okay." I say with a growing smile, jumping off Neo before he is even settled, then step over to the edge of the wall to look out. The bright colours have spread higher above the rolling hills but no sun yet. On this side of the wall, tall trees have grown with long thick branches that don't even reach the top of the wall. These trees are different form the skinny cone shaped ones I saw in the forest.

Sebastian walks up next to me leaning his arms on the wall. We stare out to the land and I feel his gaze fall onto me. My eyes shift to him but he turns away quickly. At that brief moment my heart quickens as I shift my weight slightly closer to him.

He coughs filling the silence. "I do not know what it is about watching the sun rise and sink below the horizon but it brings me comfort. My mind just clears of all thought, good and bad. It's like I forget who I am momentarily."

I hold the blanket closer to me looking out, tears build up in my eyes for a reason I know not. Maybe from his words or at how kind he has been to me. Sebastian has become a great friend. He cares for my well being and worries about me. A protector and saviour.

I wonder how many times he has watched the sunrise because of sleepless nights. How often does he need to come out here to forget who he is. Will I ever forget my past? Or will I spend my nights sitting awake hoping for an escape. No matter how far I am from those men they still haunt me...

I can't, won't let that happen... Like Seb has said before, my past doesn't define me but it can teach you to not make the same mistakes. They've made me stronger.

"Those two years that were unaccounted for..." I swallow hard when Sebastian looks at me. "Drakon made me do private shows for older gentlemen," My throat constricts. Each word harder to say but I need to tell him, tell someone about what those men did to me. "I would shift for their liking. Have tails or ears of certain animals. Or made to look like a person they desired. Most men I would only see once but one. Hearthgrim. He found me about 6 months after I started and didn't miss a week since. Sometimes he came twice in one week. The most those men did to me was touch me or I would sit on their lap as I had cost a lot to do more. It seemed like a usual night with Hearthgrim. He had a routine that I followed, until he... had his way..."

My throat tightens up even more and my vision becomes blurry. I need to hold onto something, the thick stone railing becomes my anchor as I speak. "I didn't know what was happening and I couldn't disobey, my master had a collar that stopped me from doing anything so I couldn't stop him or use magic. All I knew is that he hurt me and it was wrong. Afterward, I overheard them discussing about buying me. That's why I escaped, I wanted to escape king before then but never had some one to help. I knew that if I stayed any longer he would have continued to use me at his will."

Use me as a puppet to look like Amelia, Sebastian's mom... I shiver at the thought.

"Oh Cam..." He stops, shaking his head. "I am so sorry for pressing you to talk to me about what those bastards did to you. You are so strong and brave to even speak of it... To have the strength to do what you did and carry on as you have been..."

My lip quivers as I try to hold back the tears but I can't. A sob escapes and I cover my mouth as the tears fall. At least now he knows everything, knows that I am defiled not pure anymore... A King doesn't want that. Doesn't deserve that.

"Hey... it's okay." He says softly stepping closer to me. I feel a hand hover over my shoulder but instead he says. "It's not your fault for what he did to you. He forced himself onto you, he assaulted you..." Seb's face hardens and hatred flares in his eyes for a moment then he shakes his head looking at me then his expression relaxes as he lightly places a hand on my shoulder. "And that doesn't make you any less of a person. I still respect you Cam."

His words make me weep more. I want to wrap myself up in this blanket and never face him again. But I hear a quiet, 'Come here.' As I turn to him with my face down he lifts his arms up over me pulling me into his chest tightly. One hand strokes my hair slowly while the other just holds me.

His acceptance and understanding breaks me. My head sinks in to him, my tears now staining his shirt as I bawl. The world seems to slip away with only him and me, his strong arms and steady heartbeat the only things I can sense. Here, now, with him I do feel safe so I let him in and he lets me in further. His chin rests on the top of my head as we stand at the top of the wall.

He holds me until my crying has stopped then he leans back, not removing his arms. Once I've quieted down he asks. "Do you want me to take you back now? Or would you like to stay?"

I wipe my face peeking up to him. "I would like to stay please."

"Okay." Is all he says then he pulls me into his chest again tighter than before.

With a long sigh, I lean into his firm chest. This is... nice. I don't mind this. It surprises me that I like his hugs, that I still don't have the urge to push him away when I am in his embrace. Even after my nightmare. Sebastian is different than those other men I have encountered though. Sebastian is kinder. I trust him.

A few moments later I move back and he shifts his arms off of me so I can step out of his grasp. When I look up into his gaze a small smile tugs at the corners of my lips. "Thank you." I say pulling the blanket up over my shoulders and use it to wipe the remaining tears that are on my cheeks.

"You are most welcome." He says lowering his head and shows me a dazzling grin as bright as a full moon. His eyes seem as dark as the sky in this lighting too. I want to know what he is thinking.

We turn to the wall at the same time and look out toward the horizon. The sun isn't up yet but it's getting lighter, the sky now a blue then yellow. The light pushing the dark away.

I want to tell him about his mother, how Hearthgrim knew her but I don't want to ruin the moment, ruin the beautiful sun rising...

"For the record.." Sebastian says glancing at me. "Those girls at the Lucky Star, I don't despise them. I just don't agree with their lifestyle. But they are content with what they do, have no objections and none of them are forced into it. Trust me, I've asked Trewlany plenty of times."

Well, I'm glad to hear that. At least I know he doesn't hate me, although I had the slight feeling he wouldn't.

He spoke to Trewlany himself, I wonder if she said anything odd to him. And now I understand why the girls were so interested in Sebastian if he came there himself, they must have seen him. A smile takes over as I imagine how the girls acted when they first saw him, all swooning and sighing to themselves.

"Why are you smiling?"

My eyes dart to him. "Nothing..." He narrows his eyes at me and I laugh. "I am just picturing how the girls there would have acted when they saw you."

He snorts leaning away and holds the edge of the wall so he doesn't fall back. "Ah... Yes, those girls took quite a liking to me pretty quickly." We share a smirk then his fades. "Not you though."

"What do you mean?"

"You are different from everyone else. I don't know what it is exactly but you aren't the same as the other girls."

"Maybe because I'm part Fae." I say with a smirk. "Did Miss Trewlany say anything weird to you?"

He huffs through his nose and shrugs. "Well being a seer," A pause then he looks to me. "Yes, she did. I didn't believe it though."

"Was it before your father died?" I ask with a frown.

"Unfortunately it was after he died. Who knows, maybe she could have warned me about it but then something worse would have happened if she did."

Seers are mysterious creatures. "Yeah." I agree with a yawn then watch the sunrise. What did she say to him if it wasn't about his father?

Sebastian walks back with me to my room. I hold the blanket tight to me as I step in but he stands by the door. My bed looks inviting and I know I can't sleep until I tell him what I saw yesterday.

Biting my lip with a deep sigh, I turn on my heel and approach Sebastian. His brows furrow while he watches me and he leans on the frame of the entrance.

"Um... Your mother... did she ever use the name Amelia?"

He blinks at me with widening eyes and he stands up straight. "Yes." He says ever so quietly.

I scrunch my eyes shut as my hands find each other. Oh Divine help me.. "Hearthgrim made me look like," I gulp trying to form the words. Don't hate me Sebastian. I am so sorry... "He made me look like your mother and called me 'Amelia.' He has a picture of her but she is younger, maybe before she met your father. I didn't know who she was until I saw the portrait in the throne room yesterday. That's why I was a mess when you found me."

I breathe out shakily as a tear falls down my cheek. "He knew her and I think he was in love... that's why he made me look like her. My nightmare was me as your mother tied up while Hearthgrim has his way..." My eyes fall to his and they aren't in the same space as mine. They are far away. Oh no.

His head hangs lower than usual and his blue eyes downcast from mine. What have I done? "I'm so sorry Seb. I'm sorry I didn't tell you then but I am telling you now." I sob into my hands.

I turn away but a hand lands on my shoulder and pulls me into his embrace. "It's okay..." He says then plants a chaste kiss on the top of my head. "Get some sleep." Is all he says as he lets go and walks down the hall disappearing around the corner.