11. Something to Protect
Anthony Williams
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"So today, it seems that Celine suddenly stopped schooling here due to her family always moving. So -"
It's happening again. She's not here. Just when I am slowly starting to accept her apology, she just disappears. This isn't right.
"Wow. She only spent four months here in school and now she just stopped.", said Sam.
"Just like eight years ago.", I replied. After school, I took a quick detour to the long shore near my house. I don't usually come here but I come here to clear out my mind. Back then, I was immature about her suddenly leaving me to the point that I've developed a grudge against her. But now that I'm older, I get to think clearly.
Why did you leave? Why did you suddenly leave eight years ago? Is it really because of your family? Your dad's job? or is it because of something else? I want to know.
It was getting dark already so I decided to head back home, go in my room, and tried to get a bit of sleep. It bothers me so much that I can't even get a wink of sleep. It was past twelve in the morning already and realized that I haven't had dinner since I went straight to my room. I went downstairs and I overheard my mom talking to someone on the phone.
"I see. I hope she'll be alright... Yes... London? Why there?... Oh I see... Okay. Tell her I called... Alright. "
"Who was that?", I asked her. I got this feeling that it wasn't good. I hope it's not what I think it is.
"Just a friend of mine. Why do you ask? Did you hear our conversation?"
"Half way through, I guess.", I replied. My mom had a worried face for a second and I guess tried to suck it up by wearning a smile. This is not good.
"Can you tell me who that was?", I asked. It took awhile for her to reply but she broke the silence.
"Actually, it was Celine's mother."
Celine?!
"I called her to check how they were doing."
"They? Who?!"
"Her parents."
"Why? What happened? Tell me!", I got furious. I was thinking that if I just knew what happened, this hatred towards Celine will go away. My mom stood up and placed her hand on the railing.
"St. Catherine's Community Hospital, room 5490.", she told me.
"What?", I asked.
"Just go, Anthony. Perhaps that would melt your hatred away.", my mom said. I was in a big surprise. She knew?!
"You knew? Mom?" She sighed.
"Celine's mother and I went to college together. We were roomates, seatmates, just about everything that bestfriends do. We knew each other for a long time. Eight years ago, Celine was diagnosed with a very rare genetic condition that is basically eating her life away each second that passes. They had to go to a prestigious hospital for her treatments. For eight long years, Celine was homeschooled inside her room at the hospital. Once she was discharged, she came back here just to see you and make it up to you for leaving you so suddenly, without any word or communication. Then a few months ago, some goddamned person, specifically my own son, punched her. After that punch, she was rushed to the hospital after school and by then she hasn't been feeling too well. So last week her parents decided to withdraw her from school and be admitted to St. Catherine's for another five years, that is if she is still alive."
Honestly, I was in shock. I fucking hate myself. Why did I have to be so delusional and be swallowed by my hatred?! If I just.. If I were just a little bit mature eight years ago... This would have never happened. I forced my tears not to come out and my knees were really weak.
"Why do you know all this?! You should have told me why she left eight fucking years ago! If I knew.... If I only knew.."
"I'm quite mad at you for punching a girl but you shouldn't act carelessly with a hot head. I don't blame you for punching her. I blame you for not listening to her side."
I did not say anything because I knew this was all of my fault. She grabbed the car keys and gave them to me. Don't worry, even I can picture out the road though it's blury.
"Now go before your father wakes up. I'll talk to him about this later."
I looked at my mom and she caressed my cheek.
"Honey, it's okay to cry sometimes. It shows how strong you are."
I hugged my mom and I drove out of the garage. I rushed to the hospital.
"Hello. I would like to visit room 5490 please."
"It's just on this floor sir but it's almost 1AM and visiting hours is from eight in the morning until nine in the evening. Please come back later. Thanks."
I had to find a way to visit her now. My mom wouldn't let me come here without a reason. I walked around the hospital trying to count each room and guessing their room number. I found a window to which I guessed was 5490. As I got closer to it, I found a shadow of a person standing in front of the window. The closer I got, I discovered that it was her. It was Celine. I hid under the bushes and I knocked gently on the glass window. She noticed it and looked down. She saw me and immediately opened the window. Celine was alone in her room. Her mother was working as a graveyard shift nurse at a small health center near here while her father was working in Japan. I made my way in through the window.
"Anthony...", she whispered. She had this really surprised look on her. Her eyes were wide and her palms resting on her chest.
"Why did you - "
Without a moment of hesitation and thought, I hugged her. I hugged her tight like at any given moment she would disappear. I did not plan to let her go this time.
"Anthony. You came.", she said. I felt a hic from her. She was silently in tears. I placed my palm on the back of her head and my other arm around her waist.
"I won't let you go ever again. Don't you dare disappear from me like that. After eight long years that I yearned for you, you finally came. But I was such an idiot for not listening to you and for just satisfying my hatred. I hate myself for punching you. Because of that, you're here. Really, I'm so... so sorry...", I started to tear up. She looked at me in the face with a smile.
"Why are you crying?", she asked.
"It's because I did this to you!", I replied.
"You didn't do this to me. Nobody did this to me. So please don't blame yourself for where I am now.", she reassured me but the guilt that I felt was so surreal. I ran my fingers through her thin strands of hair.
"You never change. You're still the kind, patient, big sister-like figure I knew eight years ago."
"And you're still the idiot that I knew way long ago. I'm glad you never changed and also, I'm sorry for suddenly leaving you eight years ago. I had no chance to talk. It was my parents' decision to move right away."
"Please don't apologize. It was just me being an idiot that made you think it was your fault." I felt her hug tighten and I hugged her back.
"Don't leave me.", she whispered.
"I won't. I may be an idiot but I'm not stupid enough to leave you, Celine."
It was a silent dark morning. Crickets were audible from outside. The room was dimly lit by the fullmoon. Celine and I made most of the moment we had together and it was at that moment I realized that I never wanted to leave her side; that I wanted to be the one to care for her, to be there for her when she needs me, to be the one she relies on... It's an endless feeling of wanting to be with her, to fight with her in this battle that she's fighting alone.
"Do you need anything? Water? Food?", I asked her as I helped her sit down on her bed. She shook her head and smiled at me.
"I'm good. Thanks." I sat beside her.
"Hey, remember when we used to go to the beach and I'd burry you in sand? You always tell me to turn you into a worm but I always end up turning you into a mermaid.", she chuckled.
"Yeah. Good times. During that one Christmas where we pulled Santa's pants down, that was awesome.", I reminised. We were casually talking and laughing together. Can it stay like this? Can this last even longer? Is it selfish of me to think that way?
"Are you okay?", she asked.
"Y-yeah. Don't worry.", I replied. She smiled at me. It took me by surprise. I've never seen her smile again like this for eight years. All the more that I want to protect you and be with you. But... I guess you don't feel the same way I do... W-w-wait! Feel the same way? What am I thinking?! Do I l-l-li-...
"I hope we get to be how we were eight years ago.", she said. Right in the heart.
"Y-yeah.", I replied. I sighed and looked at her.
"Anthony?"
"We will. Eight years ago... No matter what happens, we will be like eight years ago... just laughing together, eating together, playing together. Just like before..."
"I would like for it to be that way.", she said. Somehow I felt something weird in my chest. I guess this isn't the time to be all emotional. This isn't the right time...
"You should rest. The sun is starting to rise.", I said. I helped her lay down.
"Anthony..."
"Yeah?"
"Thank you. I love you.", she said with a smile. I couldn't help but turn my back. My tears wouldn't stop coming out.
"I love you, Celine."
And jusy like that, a new day has started.
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