Semi-edited!

Love this cover someone made for me! I forgot your username so please comment it!! <3 <3

Song on the side is...The First Time by Kelsea Ballerini. It is so good! And I think it kind of fits Ethan and Carter's relationship. 

Happy reading!! <3 

(Please read Authors note at them end!) 

"Don't tell me what?"

I froze hearing Gage's voice behind me. I was still wrapped in Ethan's arms. I stared up at him with wide eyes not knowing what to do. Gage wasn't suppose to be here right now. Untangling myself from Ethan's arms I turned around to face Gage.

He was standing there with a hard look but I could see confusion all over his face. I know his mind was racing with ideas on what was going on. Nothing was happening between Ethan and I but Gage doesn't know that. He just walks in to see me wrapped in his arms and saying not to tell him anything.

I opened and closed my mouth like a fish. I had absolutely no clue what to say. Do I tell him about being Ethan's half brother? Do I not say anything? If I don't will Gage hate me? I do not want to fight with him, especially about this. But I wasn't sure if it was my place to say anything. I just did not want to see Gage hurt.


"What is going on here?" Gage asked, his tone deep and dark. I watched him clench his jaw as his eyes narrowed at the two of us. I glanced up at Ethan who was just staring at Gage like he has never seen him before. I know for a fact he looking Gage over to really see if they have anything similar.

"I uh..." I stuttered out. I felt like I was at war with myself. Tell him or don't tell him. Either way he will get hurt. He will think something happened between Ethan and I. Or he will learn the truth about his father.

"I have to talk to you." Ethan finally said.

"Listen here Galloway. I know Carter has been in love you since forever but she is mine. You lost your chance to have her." Gage growled. If it was possible my eyes went even wider. Ethan was never suppose to know about my feelings towards him.

"What?" Beside me Ethan asked. I could feel his eyes on me but I didn't glance at him. I kept my gaze on Gage.

"Gage nothing happened. Trust me. Nothing." I found myself going towards him. He looked at me like he didn't believe me but I had to get him to. He could not think I would cheat on him. For now I will push aside the fact that Ethan now knows of my old crush and just focus on the only person that matters to me.

"Gage you have to believe me." I came to a stop in front of him. I kept a little distance between us because I wasn't sure if he wanted me to touch him just yet.

"What were you two doing then?" He looked between Ethan and I. I could tell he was still mad and confused.

"Uh..." I tried to think of a way to say it.

"I found something out about the two of us." Ethan said instead.

"What do you mean? There is nothing to look into about us. I hate you."

"Harper just fucking listen to me okay?" Ethan snapped. I chewed on my bottom lip as I moved to the side of Gage. He was going to need my support.

"What is it?" Gage was getting impatient.

"We are....we are half brothers." Ethan finally spit out. Instantly Gage laughed.

"Good one Galloway."

"I am serious Gage. I have looked into this and I know what I am talking about."

"He is telling the truth Gage." I said quietly. I grabbed his hand only for him to yank it out of my reach. I tried not to take it to heart right now but it hurt.

"You are both joking."

"I am not. I found out that my father was cheating on my mother with yours."

"You don't know what you are talking about." Gage huffed.

"Yes I do. I hired someone to look into it and I found your mothers number and a letter with your picture." Gage stood there not saying anything as Ethan spoke. I could see the gears in his head working over time, trying to make sense of all of this.

"I didn't want this to be true Gage but it is. You are my half brother, as much as we despise one another." Gage turned to me looking into my eyes.

"And why were you in here? Alone with him?" He asked.

"I was walking out of the bathroom and he grabbed me." At that Gage's eyes snapped towards Ethan. "He ended up telling me what was the matter after I asked multiple times."

I decided on telling Gage the truth. It was better than lying to him and I did not want him mad at me. I wanted to be there for him through this because I knew none of this was going to be easy. Finding out someone is your half brother is a lot to take in.

"And you weren't going to tell me this why?" The hurt tone he had made me swallow.

"I didn't want this to ruin the night. We were having such a good time and I thought if you found out the night would be over." I admitted, staring down at the ground. When he didn't say anything I glanced up at him. He was looking at Ethan. I stood there watching as they stared at one another, I guess trying to find similarities.

I guess if you looked close enough you could see they kind of had the same cheek bones and they each had one dimple when they smiled. They were similar heights although Gage was taller. I guess they may have the same nose if neither of them had their noses broken a few times.

"I can't believe this." Gage finally said. It was almost in a whisper that if I wasn't right there I wouldn't have heard him.

"Gage I am right here okay? I am not going anywhere. I know this must be difficult." I touched his arm as I spoke.

"You don't know what difficult is!" He suddenly snapped yanking his arm away from me and taking a step back. "You don't know a thing! You live in this perfect fantasy that everything is perfect and dandy. You have always been taken care of that you don't know what it is like to not have a warm meal on the table. You have always had this perfect life!" His words hurt. A lot.

"Gage I am just-"

"Well don't! I don't need you trying to make this all better when it isn't! You think you can just say a few words and I will believe you about this?" He snapped. I took a step back, my eyes wide.

"Gage-" Once again he interrupted me.

"You are probably just fucking him behind my back aren't you?"

"No! I would never do that!" I exclaimed, severely hurt at the insinuation. I thought Gage knew by now how I felt about Ethan and about him. I love only Gage!

"Well I don't believe you. Or you." He glared at Ethan.

"Gage I know what I am-" Ethan tried to say.

"Fuck you." He growled at Ethan. "I have to go."

"Gage. Don't leave." I started for him but he shook his head at me and stepped away.

"I can't. I need to think about this."

"Let me help Gage! Don't leave!"

"Carter stop." When he looked at me his eyes looked a little glassy. "I'll....talk to you later." With that he turned and started to walk away. I stood there staring after him before I snapped back into reality.

"Gage!" I yelled after him. He didn't look back and when I went to go after him an arm around my waist stopped me. "Ethan let me go!"

"Carter he needs time to absorb this."

"No he needs me to be there with him!" I struggled in his hold.

"Carter. Let him think this through! This is a lot." I knew what Ethan was saying was right but I just wanted to be there for him. He shouldn't have to deal with this all alone.

"But-"

"Carter you will make this worse." I fought for another minute before I slumped into his arms. I stared at the door that Gage just went through. He sounded so mad and upset. I just wanted to run after him but I was afraid I'd make it worse. He did not seem happy with me. It almost felt like half my heart went with him and the further he walked away the worse it hurt.

This was not how the night was suppose to go. Everything was going so well. Why couldn't things just for once go my way instead of messing up and ruining everything. Apparently life was too cruel.

By now Gage was probably long gone so it was no use running after him. Ethan realized that as he dropped his arms from around me. I wanted to cry, I want to scream. Just anything to express what I was finally inside but all I could do was stand there staring at the doorway.

I could hear music and people laughing coming through the doorway but it was like it was all muffled. I wish I could rewind all of this and just redo it all. I wasn't sure what I could really change since either way Gage was bound to get upset. But maybe I could have handled it better. I don't know.

"Carter are you okay?" Ethan asked quietly.

"I should be asking you that shouldn't I?" I laughed but it was anything but genuine. Something to ignore the pain that was happening in my chest. I swallowed back the tears that wanted to flow and turned to Ethan. "Are you okay?"

"I will be. I need to talk to my father about this." He sent me a small smile but I knew it was fake. Just as fake as my laugh had been. The both of us were lying and we knew it.

"That is probably a good idea. I am sorry you have to go through this."

"Me too. Who would have thought." He shook his head.

"Ethan I am so sorry."

"It isn't your fault Car." Looking at him he looked so tired and worn out. "I am going to go though."

"You are leaving?"

"Yeah. I need to be alone for a bit. Tell Luke and your parents I'll see them at home." I started to say something but he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my forehead. Sending me one last smile he turned and walked away.

I was left standing in this empty room alone. My mind was still trying to wrap itself around all of this information. If I was having a hard time with this than imagine what Gage and Ethan are going through.

Glancing around the empty room I wrapped my arms around my waist. I felt so alone. I could feel the tears I was trying to push back coming back to the surface. I bit down on my lip as I started for the door. I needed to leave. No use being here when Gage isn't.

Not feeling up to partying anymore I weaved around people to find Macey and Luke or my parents to tell them I was going home. I kept my head down so no one would come up and talk to me.

When I finally reached Macey and Luke I was ready to leave even more. I was tired of everyone here having a good time. I wasn't sure where my parents were but Luke would just have to tell them I left. I did my speech so it isn't like I am leaving and ruining this whole party.

"There you are! Where is Gage? He went off to find you." Macey said when she noticed me.

"I am going to leave." I said cutting right to the chase.

"Wait, why?"

"I just need to go. Tell mom and dad I wasn't feeling well or something. I'll see you two later." I went to move past them but a hand on my arm stopped me.

"Carter what is wrong?" Luke asked, looking down at me with concern.

"Nothing. I just want to go. See you guys later." I didn't elaborate anymore as I moved out of Luke's hold and headed for the front of the hotel. I could feel Macey and Luke's questioning stares at my back but I didn't stop or look back. I just needed to get home.

I stood in the entrance of the hotel while the guy up front got our car around. Apparently neither of the guys took it to get home, which made me wonder where Gage and Ethan went off to. The crowd up front had disappeared so I was able to leave quickly. Telling the driver to head back to our house I slumped into the chair.

I knew no one was going to miss me. My parents were busy making sure everyone was having a good time and Luke and Macey can spend some alone time. I just had to make sure to send the car back to the hotel for them to get home later on.

As the driver started on the way back home I leaned my forehead against the window and finally let the tears flow out of my eyes. I hated that Gage was mad at me and was scared he wasn't going to talk to me again. I would have been so concerned about it but with our first fight not even a month ago, and the fact that he sounded so hurt and angry.

This wasn't just a stupid mistake either. Gage just found out his father had another family and that family was Ethan. His father left his mother and him when he was little, made his mom spiral into drugs and left Gage to care for himself. That was not an easy pill to swallow. For anyone.

I just wanted to help but that just made Gage mad at me. I could only hope that after a day he will come around and let me talk to him. I wasn't going to think of the other outcome that could happen tomorrow. Of course that did nothing to stop the tears from pouring out.

* * * * * * * * *

Three days. Three days since I last heard and saw Gage. Three days of what felt like torture. I tried to call and text him but he either declined my calls or never answered my texts. I even went over to his grandmother's place yesterday to make sure he was okay and she told me he wasn't home.

Apparently she made him tell her what happened so she wasn't too concerned about him not being home any time soon. She said to give him time to wrap his head around all of his. She didn't seem mad at me or even mad about any of it, in fact she seemed understanding. I wanted to yell at her and demand that I wait there for Gage but I couldn't.

She was right about giving him some time and space but I didn't want that. I wanted to see him and make sure he was handling all of this okay. After she talked me down from sitting on their doorstep for hours I went home and sulked. As much as I wanted to talk to him it wasn't going to happen anytime soon it seemed. We one more week before Christmas and I just hoped by then Gage would want to talk to me.

Because this was a lot worse than our fight at thanksgiving I knew I had to give him time. I wanted to have a sit in at his grandmothers place but everyone was right in saying he needed time. This wasn't something you could just get over and move on. So I was planning on giving him all the time he needed even if it hurt.

The morning after the christmas party my parents asked if I was feeling okay since I went home early. My swollen eyes and grumpy mood actually helped my lie about not feeling well. When they asked about Gage I just brushed it off because if I started to talk about it I would end up crying once more. After crying all night I was pretty much dried out anyways. Guess they figured something else was wrong for they didn't say anything else.

So for the last three days I have sulked around the house in my pj's. Macey did come over and hung out but I wasn't feeling up to it much. Especially when her and my brother started making out on the couch right beside me. After that I was done and headed to my room.

Now I am currently sitting on my bed staring at my cellphone pleading for Gage to call me or even text me saying he is okay. Anything other than silence. I just something, anything.

I was still staring at my phone when a knock sounded on my door.

"Come in!" I expected it to be Macey or my mom but not Ethan. I have been avoiding him as well these last three days. Gage telling him about my old crush kept replaying in my mind and I knew sometime he would show up and want to talk about it. I was just hoping that would happen....never. I did not want to talk to him about some old crush I had. Talk about embarrassing.

"Hey." He said, coming into my room and shutting the door behind him.

"Hey. Is everything okay?" I was hoping that if I kept off the subject it wouldn't ever come up.

"Eh it is going." He shrugged. He went over to my desk chair and pulled it out before plopping into it. It felt weird to have him in my room. Not like he hasn't been in here before but that has only been a handful of times. I always wanted him to come into my room and confess his undying love for me, which of course never happened. "How are you? Has Gage called you yet?"

"No he is still giving me the cold shoulder." I glanced down at the phone in my hands. "But don't blame him. It is a lot to take in. How are you handling it all?"

"Haven't gotten a hold of my dad yet...okay that is a lie. I haven't tried to call him yet because I don't know what to say. Don't know how to bring it up."

"You are going to have to sometime though."

"I think I will wait until I can see him face to face. Maybe I will know what to say then." He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. Seeing him do that use to make my heart pound but now it was just a little flutter in my chest.

We sat there in silence for a few minutes. Neither of us saying anything. Trapped in our own thoughts. The silence was comfortable and I actually liked his presence. It wasn't a 'oh I am going to die of how hot he is presence', more of a 'hm this is nice just sitting near each other'.

"So Car...I think we should talk about the other night." Ethan finally said breaking the silence. My mind froze knowing exactly what he was talking about. He wanted to talk about my crush on him.

"How about we don't and say we did?" I offered instead.

"Carter."

"Ethan it doesn't even matter."

"Yes it does. Gage said you have been in love with me! Is that true?" At this moment I was slightly pissed at Gage for spilling that little secret. I wasn't ever going to tell Ethan how I felt about him. I never told him when I felt it so why should I know when I don't?

"It is nothing Ethan. Just let it go." I moved to get up off my bed but Ethan's words stopped me.

"Why didn't you tell me?" His voice was low but I still heard him. For some reason his words kind of pissed me off.

"Tell you? You wanted me to tell you how I felt about you?" I looked at him. "Like I could just go right up to you and say 'Hey Ethan I have been in love with you since forever. Please love me back!'. Talk about humiliating." I scoffed.

"You could have Carter! You have had all these years to tell me and you didn't." He leaned forward keeping his eyes on me.

"I couldn't tell you. Every time I tried you had some new toy on your arm or you were going on about some hot chick you scored with. Then of course you end up with one of my best friends. So no there was no time to tell you. And if I did tell you how I felt you wouldn't ever feel the same way."

"How do you know that? You never said a word to me so how should I have known!?"

"When should I have done that? When you started dating my best friend and ruin the happiness she had?"

"You can't do that to me. You can't get mad at me for dating Amy when you never said anything." He stood up and paced around my room while tugging on his hair.

"I can't believe you like me!" What he said was wrong though. I don't like him anymore. "For how long?"


"It doesn't matter how long Ethan."

"How. Long." He stopped his pacing enough to look right at me. I sighed. I guess it didn't hurt to say it now because nothing would ever happen between us. He had Amy and I was in love with Gage.

"Since sophomore year, when you came back from traveling with your parents."

"3 years ago?" I grabbed a pillow from my bed and placed it on my lap. My fingers instantly grabbing and playing with it.

"Yes." I watched as he sat back down in the chair with a heavy sigh.

"I can't believe this. You like me and have for 3 almost 4 years!"

"Uh Ethan-" I went to correct him but he cut me off.


"You didn't tell me but you told Harper?" His blue eyes were wide as he looked back at me.

"Ethan," I sighed and looked down at the pillow trying to think of a way to tell him. "My feelings aren't the same anymore."


"What do you mean?"

"I was in love with you. As in past tense. Not anymore." I made sure to look him right in the eyes as I spoke. I wasn't in love with him anymore and he had to know that now. He had to know Gage is the only one I love and it wouldn't change.

"What?"

"It took me so long to realize that I wasn't in love with you. It was just the feeling. The feeling of having something I wanted, but never needed."As I spoke those words I never felt something more right than them. That was exactly how I felt and now that I realize it, I wasn't really in love with Ethan.

He was just always the one guy that was there and was kind to me. He was just a constant in my life and for so long I thought he was the right person for me. That because he has always been around, always treated me with such respect that he could one day love me. It was a stupid fantasy that I had.

Every girl has that fantasy though. That there is a perfect guy out there that will sweep them off their feet and pamper them like princesses. They will date that person and eventually get married, have children, grow old with one another. And it is a good fantasy to have but there is no perfect guy out there. No perfect anyone.

Whoever you end up with has baggage. Baggage that you have to either accept and help carry or leave them. Sometimes the 'perfect' guy you once thought would be yours isn't really who you are suppose to be with. It is the bad boy that has walls built around him after a bad childhood. The guy who has plenty of baggage but you don't mind carrying some it with him because you have seen what he can truly be like.

And to be honest those kinds of people are the best people to be with. If you give them your time, love, effort they will return it. They be damaged but the damaged ones know who really cares for them. When they do open up, they open up completely and love whole-heartily. That is the kind of guy I am in love with.

"You are not in love with me anymore?" Ethan said it like he couldn't believe what I was saying. One minute I loved him the next I didn't.

"It is not that I don't love you Ethan because I do. I love you in a you are my brother, close friend kind of way. People change, feelings change."

"Gage is the one you love isn't it?"

"He is." I smiled just thinking of him.

"I missed my chance didn't I?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, now being the one confused.

"I use to have a crush on you too back when we were younger." He admitted. He sent me a small smile. I sat up and stared wide eyed at him. Ethan use to have a crush on me? Me? The girl who is awkward and embarrassing?

"But...how...huh?" I stuttered out not believing what he was saying at all. There was no way.

"Who wouldn't have a crush on you Car? You were always so sweet, nice, smart, actually cared about me when my own parents did. After you got with the Quinton guy I figured I had no chance so I moved on." Hearing those words should have made my heart soar. Should have make me want to jump up and down in glee but....they didn't.

Instead of feeling that glee I felt sad. Sad that neither of us had enough guts to tell the other what we felt back then. Maybe we would have gotten together and would still be together but we aren't. Ethan's feelings for me died out and so did mine. It was just a crush we both thought was something more but wasn't.

Months ago if he would have told me this I would have jumped at the opportunity to be with him. Now it was a different story. I was in love with someone else, someone who made me see Ethan wasn't who I really wanted. Gage opened me up to being a different person. I was a completely new person because of him but he opened up my eyes enough to see that I can be more outspoken, that I can move on from some make believe dream I had about Ethan. He showed me what actual love was.

"I am sorry." I found myself saying. Tears pricked at the corner of my eyes.

"How sad are we?" Ethan said, making me laugh as I wiped at my eyes.

"We are very sad." He gave me a small smile.


"I am sorry Carter."

"Me too." I moved to the end of the bed closer to where he was. Ethan stood up and offered a hand down to me. Placing mine in his I stood up. He pulled me into a hug which I returned.

It felt good to finally get this whole Ethan thing off my shoulders. To finally tell Ethan that I was over him and that while I don't love him like that he will always be one of the most important people in my life.

It make take a few hours for it to sink in that he liked me at one point too but for now I think the both of us were just happy to finally say it out loud. The two of us had silent love for each other which was pretty funny. Two people silent about the love they had for someone they could never have. 


"So..." Ethan pulled back and raised and eyebrow at me. "Gage Harper. Really?" I laughed and slapped his chest.

"Yes. He is more than you think he is." I stepped out of his arms and sat back down on the edge of my bed.

"How are the two of us going to act around each other now?"

"Like people. You don't have to immediately be best friends because you are half siblings. Just get to know him, let him know you, be civil to one another."

"Harper civil? Yeah right." Ethan shook his head at me.

"He hasn't had it easy Ethan, and you haven't either. That is something you two can bond over. You have to give him a chance."

"I guess I have to don't I?"

"Yeah unless you want me to hurt the both of you." Ethan was quiet for a moment before spoke again.

"Is he really an underground fighter?" He actually sounded a little excited as he asked.

"He is. And he is amazing to watch."

"Wait? You've seen him fight?" I rolled my eyes at his protectiveness.

"Yes. That is kind of how we met." I partially lied. He didn't really need to know how we met.

"You went to an underground fighting ring by yourself!?"

"No. Amy, Macey and I went together and Gage so happened to be fighting that night." I shrugged. It was hard to think that was about 4 months ago.

"So you are telling me if I went over to his house right now he could kick the shit out of me?"

"No I am saying he would kick the shit out of you." I grinned.

"Damn. I thought those rumors were fake."

"Most are but not that one."

"Does your dad know about him being a fighter?" I paused.

"Umm...I don't think so. Lets keep that to ourselves kay?"

"Who would have thought Carter Miller would end up with a guy like Gage Harper." Ethan shook his head at that.

"What is that suppose to mean?"

"That you are a goody-two-shoes, kind, innocent, sweet girl. And Gage is a underground fighter, not innocent, rude, crazy, an asshole." He listed off.

"Is there a point to this?" I asked, giving him a look.

"Just saying opposites do attract."

"There is more than meets the eye to Gage." I thought back to everything that has happened between Gage and I. Sure he can be an asshole at times but he as shown me more often then not that he is a good guy. He means well he just doesn't know how to show that he cares sometimes.


"As long as you are happy I guess."

"I am. I am very happy."

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Hey guys! So I finally updated and just in time for Christmas! I was hoping to update more than this but I ended up getting a small brain fart on what to write. I decided at the last minute to change the ending to this chapter. The next chapter is going to be great! I already know what I want to happen, just have to write it. Hopefully I can get that up soon. 

*I will be busy tomorrow and Sunday!! Because it is a holiday I will be with family and doing stuff with them so I won't have much time to write or be on here. I will try to but if I am on here it will probably only be to reply to messages and what not, not write. 

For those that do celebrate Christmas....MERRY CHRISTMAS! (Happy Christmas Eve Eve since it is two days away :) Been waiting all year to say that :D ) If you don't celebrate christmas and do another holiday I hope you have a great one! I hope everyone has an amazing weekend and has fun with family and friends! Be thankful! Enjoy what is now! Eat tons of stuff and be merry :) 

I will have a chapter up before the New Year so no worries about that. If you do not know I decided to keep this story going into the new year. I wanted to end it by new years eve since I started it at exactly midnight but I want to enter this story back into the Wattys next year, so we have to have 4 chapters up in the year 2017. I am not sure how many chapters it will be (somewhere around 50-ish) so we do have a bit to go. I want to round up all the characters, and slowly get to the ending of the book. I do not want to rush it at all. I do hope you guys are liking it and the pace it is going!! This is by far my favorite book I have written so far!

ALSO if you did not know I am apart of the Wattpad Winter Block Party again! This is an event that takes place the entire month of February. Everyday some of your favorite authors on here will have posts that go live that you can read and you can interact with them. I am not sure what my day is yet but when I know I will tell you guys so you can mark your calendars. I wanted to ask you all: WHAT SHOULD I DO FOR MY POST THIS TIME?? A bonus AYA chapter? Deleted scenes of AYA/Silent Love? Something with my upcoming book "The Hidden Shadow"? A Q&A? Character interview (What characters?) Comment what you would like to see from me! I need to get it sent in soon so I need ideas! P.S "The Hidden Shadow" will be up by January! I am not sure what day but it will be up and I will be uploading chapters as well :) 

P.S The first book of the AYA series (Accidental Proposal) is FREE on KINDLE FROM THE 24th to the 25th! And the box set (sadly only for KINDLE) is still .99 cents. So you can get all three books on your kindle for .99 cents which is a great deal!! Just type in my name or Accidental Proposal, Accidental Attraction, or Accidental Love and it will pop up :) 

Thank you guys so much! <3

VOTE, COMMENT, MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! Be safe!!

Question: What job should Gage have after college? I can't think of one! Should he be an astronomy teacher? An CEO with Ethan at his families company? Work for Carters dad? Be a UFC fighter? What should he do after college??

Love you guys!

<3 <3 <3 

-Ken