🐻🐻🐻

As soon as he was able to get his phone out and text the group chat, he did it. Woojin was sure that in years, he hadn't felt as anxious as he was feeling right now. In the end, it was already lunch time and Chan didn't go to school. He felt kind of pathetic because even if he tried to stop hoping for Chan to come, he didn't do it until it was the end of the morning classes.

It's everything alright?

What do you mean?
-Hyunjinie.

Is this an indirect way of asking about Chan?
-Bokkie

Ahm... yeah?

I'm screenshotting this.
-Dalamjwi🐿

Can we get to the point here, please? Is Chan okay? He didn't come to school today, for those who might not know.

Okay, Father! :P
And yes, Chan is alright, he had an appointment today and APPARENTLY forgot to tell his boyfriend about it.
-Bokkie

Owww, so Channie hyung won't be with us today?
-Jeonginie🌤

We aren't dating, Felix.
Thanks for the information, see y'all at lunch.

I think you missed the yet in there, hyung.
-Wonpil 2.0

I'm excited for the day my parents finally marry.
They need to attend my wedding with Minho
-Dalamjwi🐿

😂😂😂
-MinMin

Woojin didn't answer the last few messages, he just sighed and made his way to the cafeteria where everybody else was supposed to meet. Except for Chan. He tried not to think too much about it because it made him feel sad. Not because Chan hadn't told him about his appointment, he understood that Chan didn't owe him any explanations. But just because he had been so excited, and then it felt like his little bubble had been popped.

It also felt strange to walk towards the cafeteria alone, since Minho had made in a habit of going for Jisung before lunch. He was used to walking with Chan, talking about whatever came to their minds. And now, it was just odd to go there by himself. And inevitably, he pondered about what would be Chan doing at that moment. He assumed that by now if the appointment was early, he probably would be done. Should he text him? Or would that make him look desperate? He ended sighing again.

Life decisions shouldn't be that hard for him.

🐍🐍🐍

Waiting had never been Chan' strongest quality, and while sitting on a therapist's waiting room, even less. The walls were gray and white and it made him think about the nightmare/memory he'd had that night.

After he'd woken up and taken a shower, he instantly called the man who had been his therapist for so long after the accident. Chan wasn't sure what was the reason behind suddenly having remembered that not when his life was going uphill. When the accident happened, a few weeks later he started to have problems with falling asleep, that one dream that would constantly repeat night after night being one of the biggest reasons.

Chan remembered that once he accepted what had happened, the nightmare had stopped. But as soon as he started to fall into depression again, it came back. Reason why he was so uneasy about suddenly remembering that moment again.

When he went for breakfast and his mother noticed the troubled state on which he was, she asked if everything was okay immediately. Of course, at this point in his life, he wasn't going to hide something that could be important later, so he just told her about the nightmare and what made him worried. She suggested him to make an appointment for the therapist if it was really bothering him that much.

What Chan didn't expect, however, was that his therapist would be available so soon. Chan was probably just lucky because when he called, Mrs. Choi told him to go that same day if he was free. And although Chan wasn't exactly free, considering that day was the first day of school after winter break, he decided to just get over with it quickly.

He looked out through the window and realized that it was lightly snowing, and it looked so pretty. It made him feel a little less nervous to watch the snow falling slowly onto the ground. When he first moved to Korea, the snow was one of the things he liked the most, since he was never able to see it in Australia. He would go out and play without caring about getting sick, Felix would go and play with him too, which made it more fun. As the years went on, he grew calmer about it. He still thought the snow was beautiful, but he would just quietly appreciate it.

He suddenly thought of Woojin, and his heart went all warm even if it was pure winter. He remembered the first day it snowed in December, and how it was snowing when they were at lunch. Chan didn't want to sound too cheesy by saying that he wanted to spend the first snowfall of that winter with his now friends, so he kept it for himself. But somehow, Woojin managed to read through him and asked the others to go outside. They spend the last 20 minutes of lunch running around the backyard, throwing snowballs at each other and laughing. It was ridiculously funny.

At least until Chan fell, over Woojin, and the older held him held him by the waist. Chan turned red and his heartbeat went up. And now remembering it, he blushed again, nervous just by thinking about something that happened almost a month ago. Chan sighed.

Lately, he did not know what his feelings towards Woojin were.

Chan never considered himself gay, or heterosexual, or any other sexuality. He just didn't know what he was since with all the moving from one country to another, then the accident and all that came with it, he never really had the time or interest on anybody to actually 'experiment.' Although this didn't mean he was closed to the idea of himself being gay, he was okay with whatever he turned out to be. The problem was: Chan didn't know what being in love or liking somebody felt like.

And so, when he started to notice that Woojin's smile could cause mayhem inside of him, he felt worried. In the beginning, he wondered what was it. Not knowing if it was good or bad, or it was okay or not. He slowly realized that he would stare at Woojin on a general basis, unintentionally. And that one of his most expected moments of the day, was when Woojin came to say hi and hugged him. He also noticed that for some reason, Woojin was really cute and manly in a good way, and Chan liked that a lot.

Chan found himself trying to compare the feelings he had for Woojin, to the feelings he had for Felix and his friends, and found out that they weren't exactly the same, although similar. It made him frustrated not being able to get to an answer, did he like Woojin or did he just see him as a brother? He felt like he couldn't even ask other people about it because he didn't know how to do it without exposing himself.

And also, did Woojin like him?

One thing was for sure, Woojin's arms and persona felt like the correct thing when they were around Chan.