Dear Diary, this is the disclaimer to my memoirs...

Warning: this memoir contains MATURE THEMES. From depression, the highs and lows of relationships, to violence to sexuality, abuse, mental illness, family deception, love, growth, failure, religion and prosperity.

Ages 18 and over, thank you. I write for adults only. I WILL NOT WARN YOU ABOUT THE UPCOMING CHAPTERS!

THIS IS YOUR FIRST, SECOND AND LAST WARNING!

My life wasn't a crystal stair, neither is my testimony.

Dear Diary,

Author's Note:

I hope my MEMOIRS reached you in the best of health and good will. Allow me to be frank. For years those that crushed, hurt, abused and silenced me had a lot to say about my life, my choices and my personal business.

No matter what they did or how they treated me I allowed it out of a blinding need to fit in, to belong, to be wanted. I kept a tight lip as I secretly housed all the pain.

Not. Anymore. I remember staring out of my bedroom window when I was younger. It was just after 1 am. The moon was big and beautiful, but in my heart I was destitute.

I'd lean back against the wall, slightly resting on the side of my hip to keep the pressure from my lower body.

Hot tears streaked my face as I shuddered from the aftermath of violated sunflower.

Now, that boy has lived, lost and evolved into an author.

My full autobiography was originally written in 1998-2000, but I stopped half way through. At the time I had nothing published, but forty +books written. I figured that I'd make some noise, then release my testimony.

Did I consort anyone? Hell no. It's my life, my experiences. It is what it is. With the same energy I was bashed by certain family, is the same energy I'm giving my response.

After garnering a couple online bestsellers, I finished writing my memoirs in 2011 as an open letter to my fans.

Some parts of the 2,000 page master manuscript was published as The King of Erotica 7: PHARAOH, The King of Erotica 8: Lord Jennings and The Kingdom (both Pharaoh and Lord Jennings combined, minus tons of Chapters so Pharaoh and Lord Jennings remained intact).

To celebrate my autobiography's decade release, I am releasing them into four parts.

Book I: Silence of the Black Sheep
Book II: Pouring From an Empty Cup
Book III: Porcelain Porcupine
Book IV: The Ashen Blue

My life story is in no way designed to hurt anyone, my mother or anyone in my family. I love and cherish my Mama. You only get one, but at this stage in my life I must take care of myself and love everyone from a distance.

My intentions for writing my memoirs is to show my fans, friends, nieces and nephews and god son exactly what I've been through and how I survived the things that I have, and why I keep my faith in God, even after the ashes of disaster fumigated the very air I breathe.

Despite our differences, I love my family, even my cousins, and I always will. I used to have a lot of anger towards them, but as of today that's no longer my reality.

I let it all go. It started with forgiving me. I gave it to God.

My autobiographies, told by me and me only, serve as my first and second non-fiction books (soon to be seven, smaller page count) and whole-heartedly reflect how I felt about my relationships with family, friends, abusers, violators, enemies and my haters during those trying times in my past that used to hinder my growth and maturity as a human being.

I have no desire to punish those who have wronged, violated or verbally abused me and that is my choice. I am an adult now, and, after years rage and suffering in silence, I have forgiven them and forgiven myself.

Present day, I am blessed and I love and adore my mother. In a lot of ways she's my hero and always will be. But my story, testimony and life must be told...

My voice, after 20 + years of controlled silence, will finally be heard.

Mama, I hope you understand that your son, your first born, really battled myself to do. Anyone close to me knows that I'm fiercely protective of my family, even though I don't feel loved or appreciated by most of them.

The battle scars of my body digs deep into the contours of my soul from brutal onslaughts on my life from just a tender age.

Back during the time I couldn't fully comprehend what had transpired. The ignorance of my age was the unknowingly unforeseen chamber to miseducation. I remember every tear I shed, millions.

I can dissect each and every emotion of secret trauma by memory. Even though my tears long ago disintegrated into oblivion, the salt of its DNA was forever archived along each inch of my tongue.

Ninety percent of my life was filled with joy. I had a normal childhood. I would watch anything Hanna Barbera. The Jackson 5 cartoons, the Smurfs, the Snorks. Gummy Bears vs Paw Paw Bears were equal favorites of mine. Thundercats, He-Man and Scobby Do are tied to my heart as my number one all time favorite cartoons.

The Street Frogs, Fat Albert, Yogi Bear, the Flinstones and The Jetsons.

Music was music, unlike this auto-tune madness that was a direct slap in Sammy Davis Jr, Mahalia, Gladys, all of Motown, the foundationof black music, Tina, Nina, Lil Richard, the inventor of Rock and Roll, real hip hop from the originators, Public Enemy LL Cool J, Tupac and Biggie, Nas whom I consider the lyrical god of rap...

Back then all of those things intrigued me for one reason only:

Story. Lines.

Even though they were cartoons, as a four, five year old images flashed (not projected, plasmas wasn't even in American culture at the time) in my face as I sat on a thin light brown carpet thrown neatly over wooden floors as I paid more attention to what those cartoons were saying and the next thing I know my mother bought me a Speak and Spell, a digi
and countless others whom

is now an award-winning, best-selling author, whose life is not only inspiring fans globally, but it serves as the unapologetic Voice of the very fans that buy my work, that have been abused, and are too afraid to talk about it...

They live through me.

It is my hope that you get something from the most depressing books I've ever written....

Be blessed. Be you.

And who ever don't like you for you, tell them to kick rocks.

💪😩

I HOPE YOU REACHED ЂE FOYER of "Silence of the Black Sheep" in the best of health because Iwrote this in the best of health. I'm from GOULDS, FLORIDA. I both love and cherish my hometown, G-TOWN.

But Goulds has also been the source of some of the gravest pains I would ever encounter...

It nearly destroyed me as a child...

I wasn't goingto release this book, but the outcry of my fans prompted me to
do so.

I may never win an award for this, or get any recognition, but I don't care. This release symbolizes where I've come from, where I've been and where I'm going. As you may or may not know...

I wrote this from my heart. In the beginning there was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God...

Ever since eye was six years old I've been fascinated with words and dictionaries. With that being said, I don't care who does and doesn't like my writings or my books.

As long as you get something from them then my job is done. I"StimYOUlate then EdYOUcate."

Ђat's my theme; my motto and what I stand for. My autobiography, all four parts, are in no way designed to hurt thoseI love.

I love and cherish my family with every fiber of my being, but at this stage in my life I must take care of myself.

Yes, I'm a writer, but I enjoy each and every obstacle I overcome. Because it reminds me that I'm alive and I'm a Work in Progress.

I've scaled my books down so that young adults that are going through any type of strife can pick up my book and see how I survived the nasty onslaughts Nature and Destructive People threw my way.

I write to express myself. And in that I have eliminated 98% of the cursing I was known for. In its place were words I would hope carried the strength of my spirit.

But if you want the explicit versions, PHARAOH AND LORD JENNINGS, they are available online or to order at
your nearest book store.

For me, my life represents how one can
overcome emotional, sexual, family and financial hardships by embracing God (if you believe in Him―I do!), loving the
Inner You, becoming a stronger person and moving forward...

Taking with you education you can pass on to someone else.

Despite differences with my family.

Warmly,

DAPHAROAH69