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Dear DL Ninja,

Chile, Boo.

I'm into Berettas inside of Berettas...

"Niggah don't press. Don't press forward, fuck niggah. You're getting dangerous on me, muthafuckah."

"Did you pay your rent yet, since we survive. Dissing me because I wanna be a writer?" I asked the DL nigga.

"You live with your Mama and you don't even have a book out."

"At least she's blood," I retorted. "Pauline and you, blood? Naw, dude. If you and Pauline got the same Mama she must be a tranny bitch because there's no way you and Pauline are related, yet you live with a stranger. Where you met her? Yea that's right: a hook up site on the Internet.

"Pressed?" I asked emphatically. "...You mad? Daddy skeet dog water because you're black as fuck. Pauline is white as fuck, full blooded German at that and you're telling people she's your biological sister? Can your dumb ass spell German? I'll spell it for you. N-O-T. Y-O-U. She don't even wash your dirty draws. All over the floor. Now that's just nasty, Niggah and you try'na chin check me?"

The climate was inevitably gloomy as a mild breeze befell us as if famished. His eyes were shaded in darkness. Tree branches seemed to sway side to side from his overheated frequency. "You ain't nobody, dawg."

I had him. Got thug boy in his gahdamn emotions, something all thugs chanted they didn't have...

To have that feeling was an emotion itself, or have they forgotten. "Not to be is to be" (My quote, copyrighted) was the real question, but stick with that Shakespeare
shit.

"At least my Mama washes my dirty draws and cusses me the fuck out about it, won't let me hear the last of it. No wonder roaches are starting to pile in my kitchen."

He folded his arms across his chest. "And why is that?"

"They said your late ass keep a dirty house. They didn't want that bullshit. Couldn't go to Joe's Apartment because a crackah eating with roaches wasn't my idea of the Last Supper so they are over here try'na get in my properly sealed shit. I don't keep it in the closet. I like it on the living room couch niggah beat it up to the bedroom then call your hoe and tell her you'llkiss her in the mouth with me embedded in your tastebuds, nigga."

He was offended. "You will never get published. Ain't anybody reading that sappy gay shit. Don't come at me like that,
disrespecting me."

Well I never! "Gay? Did you just go there? Gay?" I mocked with a stunned expression that bubbled in my balls like a lottery drawing.

Everybody shut up.

"Shh shh bitch shut up eye'm try'na hear
what Pharoah 'bout to say."

Game time, bitch nigga. "Did you say that when I sucked your dick you half dead bumafuckah?"

People were in an uproar of laughter. I held my head high, chest out and dared his fuck ass to fuck with me.

I had a razor under my tongue, a pocket knife in my sock and a small can of mace on my keychain. Bring the funk, bitch and trim confetti from your ass with this razor, spray you in the face and smoke a blunt till you recover, just to see what the funk you were gonna do about it, 'bout it.

If he even blinked at his weapon I was going to slice and dice his sss so fast he'd feel like he was in the middle of the great race with a hole in his ass perpendicular with that crooked ass saber tooth.

Houston! He was about to blow! "Shut up Niggah! What the fuck, yo! Character assassinate me like that, niggah?"

"You don't remember, bumafuckah? Lemme remind you, pussy boy. You been begging to eat my pussy a while back and
I told you I wasn't a bitch. I didn't have a pussy. I had an asshole. And it varies. Asshole is pussy's alter ego. Yes,
they're both holes. But two different feelings. Some like the ass more; most like the pussy or that sloppy dome better. Win, win. Who gives a fuck? We like what we like."

"What me and you did together was private."

"Yet yiu hust confirmed the union with that statement, you don't do well under pressure do you?"

"I never fucked you?"

"Yes you did. Beat it up and spanked it, tooted it up to those chapped lips and I slapped the hole up and down your
tongue with my booty cheeks having a bout with your nostrils. Lips sweating try'na keep up, bitch. Remember I said, 'Eat it, smell it, suck my hole, niggah? I told you to talk shit to that muthafuckah? Telling me I taste like cotton candy. If you're a thug give your tongue a fifteen minute break and you got fifteen minutes to convince me your under cover bottom ass is a thug!"

His dick gets hard and he's caught out there...

His homeboys had a field day...

The storm clouds were hovering on the horizon as a feeling of unease crawled my spine...